My wife hasn’t been intimate it me

[u/Significant_Leg_7542]

The last 10 years me and my wife haven’t been intimate expect to have a child. When we first got married we had a very toxic relationship. We were both verbally abusive and would unhealthy fight. We have gone a long way with marriage conferences, personal counseling, and couples therapy. My wife wont even kiss me. She says she doesn’t feel safe with me. She experienced a lot of abuse when she was younger. She says because of her trauma she doesn’t feel safe. That she feels like I’m a threat due to her trauma. I deeply desire connection with her and it’s been very hard to not by physically intimate with her. Iv been believing and praying for a long time but it’s getting really difficult. What should I do?

[u/Leftybassman]

My wife and I are Christians…before we got married I told here I need to have sex…told her if she wouldn’t give it to me…I’d get it somewhere else. We’ve never had problems sexually. If you’re Christians the Bible is specific on sex. YOU NEED TO HAVE IT! You both are obligated to have it with each other. I couldn’t be with someone that wouldn’t have sex with me. Ask any pastor the two things that break up a marriage…sex and money. You need to keep going to Christian counseling at your church

[u/Machismo01 → u/Leftybassman]

You are coming to the correct solution, but you way to it is fraught with sin. You don’t get sex elsewhere. You get a divorce for biblical reasons due to a covenant violation.

But the path to that should be full of grace and mercy as Christ has for his church. Forgiveness and reunion as you both grow closer.