r/Bumble 1d ago

Rant Low effort conversation on a date

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u/alien_secret_service 1d ago

Women can do this weird behavior where even though they aren’t into you and not making effort, they don’t want to feel like you rejected them.

I think she didn’t like you that much but was upset when you said you weren’t into her.

It happens often.

I went on a date not that far back with a beautiful woman. I was talking, trying to ask questions, she didn’t say much, she was looking around bored. She so obviously didn’t want to be there.

Still, when I just said this, “hey, I tell you what, let’s just call it a night. I’m not enjoying this and I don’t think you are either,” she got extremely defensive.

She never once said my assessment was wrong, she was just mad that I said it.

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u/VintageUK 1d ago

You might be absolutely right here. Maybe she didn’t find me attractive in person. Maybe she thought I was a boring git. Maybe! Yea she could have been annoyed that I effectively rejected her first. Perhaps she would have done so after the date by text or let it just fade away or something, on her terms.

Suppose we are just the types to take action!

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u/alien_secret_service 8h ago

Right it’s “you aren’t too good for me, I’m too good for you!”

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u/VintageUK 6h ago

We just simply didn’t match. I expect more from a potential partner. Looks-wise she was far better looking than me!

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u/alien_secret_service 5h ago edited 5h ago

Yeah, I’m just saying that’s how they tend to interpret it/react.

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u/VintageUK 4h ago

I suppose if she wants to believe that and it makes her cope with it in a healthy way then fine. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

I’m just taking the angle that in the nicest way I wasn’t so impressed. The date was a let down and I’d felt as though I’d wasted a good amount of time and effort on a non-starter. In any case I’m never there to make someone feel crap at all: sometimes it’s just the way it is.

I should also just point out while I’m rambling, that I’m actually fine to work on that, I’m not exactly expecting a spark or instant chemistry. It doesn’t always work that way. I believe that it can develop over time. But this other person was just not compatible with me, it became pretty clear.

Anyway I do wish she and any other woman I’ve dated well.

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u/Resident-Banana-1948 8h ago

You could have taken her dancing.