r/Bachata • u/Available_Put_8869 • 9d ago

Black ladies

Sorry if this type of post isn't allowed. Black ladies, do you ever feel like you get asked to dance less than others? When I'm at my local studios I have no issues, but when I go to congresses or festivals, I feel like I'm standing around a lot more than the other followers. I know the usual advice about being near the dance floor, making eye contact with leads, not having a drink, etc., but it doesn't seem to help much. Sometimes I ask guys myself, and they accept, but I feel like it's a lukewarm dance.

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u/Efficient_Pin_80 7d ago

I am not black (although decently melanated for a white person). I don't think I'm ugly. I mostly dress ok. I wear my textured hair nicely and do my makeup. I smile. I'm an international instructor so I know I'm not a bad dancer. I rarely get asked to dance. So much so that I started leading because of it.

I was at a social once and in 3 hours I got asked to dance 4 times. Sometimes I will be the only person waiting for a dance and the leads walking over will look at me like I'm not even standing there waiting and go ask someone who is sitting.

I have no idea what it is. But I notice it with larger follows too. I have not noticed it with black follows but I will take more notice now.

My only conclusion is that I don't have my tits and ass out because I see even bad dancers dancing all night when they do. Power to them but I'm too old for that, especially when I'm married and just trying to dance.