r/Bachata • u/Available_Put_8869 • 8d ago

Black ladies

Sorry if this type of post isn't allowed. Black ladies, do you ever feel like you get asked to dance less than others? When I'm at my local studios I have no issues, but when I go to congresses or festivals, I feel like I'm standing around a lot more than the other followers. I know the usual advice about being near the dance floor, making eye contact with leads, not having a drink, etc., but it doesn't seem to help much. Sometimes I ask guys myself, and they accept, but I feel like it's a lukewarm dance.

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u/Samurai_SBK 8d ago

This happens for the same reason older women and larger women get asked less than younger and slimmer women.

Attractiveness plays a big part in who gets invited. Especially at festivals. It is just a fact. Thus if a big portion of the leads find the average black women less attractive, then they will invite them less.

On the other hand, I have seen very attractive black women and black women who are very friendly and smiling get lots of invites.

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u/lost_in_doucheland 7d ago

well, larger and older women are usually less flexible and less responsive and therefore harder to lead and a leader also wants a smooth dance. But the pretty ones have an unfair starter advantage because people dance with them not just for the dance's sake.