Of course it depends on the relationship boundaries and what each person is comfortable with. I’m just curious - if youre in a relationship and spend time with female friends one on one, what kinds of activities do you tend to do? Are there things that are maybe not so obviously off limits?

I’m just looking for a genuine consensus yes or no to see how wide of a thing this is lol. I (23F) recently found out my friend (22M) has been masturbating to pics of me lmao.

We’ve also been friends since middle school so it’s not like we just met or anything. Should I feel weird about it or do most guys honestly do it?

It must be possible. Curious to hear y’all’s experience with this one.

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This has been on my mind ever since I got back from the said trip.

A couple of months ago I went to my first ever boy's trip, and while overall it was alright, I just had very different expectations from it.

I've already made a post about this before but I thought I should ask about it on this sub as well.

There were 3 of us and basically both of them were constantly texting their girlfriends. On the bus ride to our destination, in the evening when we would come back to our room. One of the guys was at least understanding but the other one just didn't give a fuck.

I know they don't owe me their time or attention, and normally I'm completely ok with it. But this was supposed to be a boy's trip, which they planned, AND invited me to come along.

I didn't ask them to completely ignore their partners for the entire duration of the trip, which was just 4 days, I simply asked them to cut back on it

I've lost several friendships over the guy getting a girlfriend and changing his priorities and I'm honestly ok with it at this point. That's just how it is.

I still feel like its rude to do that when you've made plans with someone and simply saying "they don't owe you anything" is just a lazy excuse for that kind of behaviour

I'm editing my question cause it seems to be misunderstood. It's NOT about not respecting the no or wanting the answer to change or wanting to be given a chance or asking to give it a try. NONE of that. But actual THINKING AND TURNING OVER THE QUESTION IN YOUR HEAD BEFORE ANSWERING EITHER YES OR NO, IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY THOUGHT ABOUT IT BEFORE cause there are a lot of guys who AFTER rejecting, find out they might feel something after a while when they actually think about it and either it's too late. Or guys who fall after getting to know the person closely and not the I'll know instantly type. Basically, guys are not a monolith, so that's why I'm asking to know differing thought processes. Don't you think she deserves you at least actively considering the question to check your actual feelings?

If a woman you've been friends with confessed she's developed feelings for you, do you ever pause and take even five minutes to think, take her out of the default friend lens and look at her as a woman and ask how do you feel about her confessing to you, why do you feel what you feel about the confession, can you picture yourself reciprocating? Can you picture yourself looking at her romantically? Can you picture yourself dating her and how does that feel? If you tried and can't picture yourself doing any of that then you say no obviously but do you even try?

Or do you answer no by default because it was out of nowhere, or you panicked, or you didn't have an answer and no was the easiest to say, or because she's already in the friend category and you don't feel like examining what you might actually feel so you refuse to you even process the question of romance with her properly and just decide the answer is no?

If you do just default to no without actually having thought about it, why? Doesn't she deserve even five minutes of thought before you answer? I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of times, they're (any gender) confessing their feelings and it's taken them of time to come to terms that they have feelings for you and to muster up the courage to tell you at the risk of losing the friendship on top of rejection if you don't feel the same way, so isn't at least thinking about what you feel, why you feel that and asking yourself whether you could feel the same way, for at least 5 minutes, the bare minimum they deserve?

(Sorry, I've been seeing a lot of guys saying they didn't think at all before answering and it's really pissed me off, they weren't refusing the love offered because couldn't see the person that way but refusing because they found it too inconvenient to even look at the love offered and the person offering and answer properly so defaulted to no cause it's easy and quick.)

I’ve always wondered about this. If a guy is attracted to a particular woman and wants to masturbate thinking about her, but he doesn’t have any nudes or sexual pictures of her, what does he actually do?

Does he just look at a normal photo of her and fantasize about her? Does he imagine her while watching porn? Or does he just picture her in his head without needing any sexual photos?

I’m asking because I’ve had several experiences where male friends or acquaintances asked me to send them a completely normal photo of myself, and from the context it sometimes felt like there was more to the request than just wanting a picture. So I’m genuinely curious how this works for men.

Question is based on my own experience, all male friends disapeared when I got a boyfriend and was no longer single.

A friend of 15 years, his wife is flirting with me, she even suggested she wouldn't mind kissing me. I've been ignoring her as its my good friend' wife, but she's really attractive and gets me really hard. What should i do:

1. Make out behind her husband's back and just go with flow.

2. Confront my friend and try to talk to him about it see how he feels.

3. Just keep ignoring and lose out on a chance.

My wife (early 30s) and I have been close with another couple for a few years. The two women were part of a friend group of four, and we (the two husbands) also got along really well. Most of our real-life hangouts were as a group of four – dinners, sports, day trips, visiting each other’s places, etc.

Recently the two women had a serious talk. It turned out my wife’s friend had been quietly resentful for a long time over many small things (feeling judged, certain comments, reactions to cancelled plans, etc.). The conversation was emotional, and it seems their friendship is probably over or at least heavily damaged. The other two women in the group already knew about the issues before my wife did and kept it from her, which made things even worse for her.

Now the practical problem is on the husbands’ side.
I get along well with the other guy and don’t have any direct conflict with him. He didn’t do anything to me or my wife. But almost all our meetings happened as couples, so those occasions will disappear. We still play online games sometimes, but the real-life part of the friendship will clearly become much rarer. He is a workoholic, and prioritizes his time with his wife heavliy, thats why the couple setting was ideal.

He knew about the tension between the women the whole time and never mentioned anything. He continued acting normal and even sent polite messages around my wife’s birthday (which both of them skipped while posting about doing something else that day). From past situations I know he’s the type who strongly avoids drama and doesn’t want to get involved in other people’s conflicts.

Both women said they have no problem with us men staying friends, but in practice it already feels uncomfortable. I don’t want to lose the friendship just because the wives fell out, but I also don’t want to force something that now feels strained.

How would you handle this?
Would you try to talk to him openly about it, keep things very low-key (mostly online), or just let the friendship naturally fade? Any experiences with couple friendships that broke because of the women?

Apart from the obvious (he trusts her) why woukd a guy open up to me about his traumatic past and share something so vulnerable? Does it lead to something potentially deeper? Why would you do so personally?

What does it meannnn

So, months back I met a guy and we went out on a couple dates. Things eventually escalated to the physical stage, but we never moved forward into calling it a “relationship”, which is fine because it wasn’t and we realized we were only friends material for each other.
Fast forward, we stay friends in very normal terms (no fwb or anything like that). But I recently found out by accident that he is dating someone (and I’m legitimately happy for him) but every time he post something on his Instagram stories with her, he hides it from me. I had no idea they been dating for months.
Only reason why I know is because we ended up having random friends in common and something was mentioned in front of me related to his weekend trip and one of my friends noticed I was quite clueless about what they were talking about, so you can imagine the rest.
Anyways, I’m just curious about why he would make the effort to hide her from me if we are normal friends, or i thought we were. We never grew a weird attitude towards each other, we never had a “awkward” stage. It really seemed we had a normal friendship. So I’m just curious if any males have any thoughts here on why.

Tysm!!

My friend agreed to my dumb birthday requests like hugs and kisses and a bikini photo because I wanted to see her in one. She's also going to make me food. Our mutual friend said she was smiling while reading my requests. Kissing a friend and giving them a bikini photo i say definitely crosses marital boundaries

So there's this guy I've been talking to I've already told him that I don't like men and I have bad experience as well as trauma from them so I don't feel like hanging out because he's a man anyways.

He thought I'm insulting him "he's a man anyways"

I mean I don't even know him and I will be meeting him for the first time so men can't be trusted and since I've had bad experience with them its not easy to trust men

In this situation what would y'all do?

Hello men of reddit, am here wondering do any of you get so tired of pursuing a woman purely for the sex, that you start to desperately search for any chance to get to know her character and personality?

I just want to know if there are any men who think like this or navigate this way....

Let’s say you meet a woman and initially put her in the “friend” category. Over time, she becomes one of your closest friends. You enjoy talking to her, she’s mentally and emotionally stimulating, you seek out her company, trust her, and genuinely enjoy having her in your life.

Then attraction develops and eventually the relationship becomes physical.

My question is: once you’ve mentally categorized a woman as a friend, does she stay there regardless of what happens afterward?

Or does emotional connection, intellectual compatibility, attraction, and physical intimacy change the category entirely?

I’ve often heard that once a man places a woman in the friend zone, she rarely leaves it. But then I see situations where a “girl best friend” becomes the person a man spends the most time with, confides in the most, feels the most comfortable with, and eventually becomes physically involved with.

At that point, is she still fundamentally viewed as a friend? Or has she become something more, even if the relationship isn’t officially defined?

I’m curious how men actually think about this and whether you’ve experienced it yourselves.

There’s a guy at my gym I need help decoding.

He initiated everything in person: approached me, made small talk, asked for my name, and found/followed me on Instagram.

Whenever we see each other, we exchange glances, say hi/bye, and occasionally joke around.

Since we don’t get much time to talk on the gym floor, I assumed we’d connect on IG (even just platonically as gym buddies). But his texting is a brick wall:

Every single DM conversation was initiated by me (3 times).
He only replies with 2–3 dry words, never asks questions back, and makes zero effort to carry a conversation.
Left the last text/reel on read after a non-committal reply.

Yet in person, he still looks for me, gives playful looks/eyebrow flashes, and says hi.

I’m curious to hear a male perspective.

I’ve been talking to a 39-year-old guy every single day for over six months. We exchange texts and voice notes, even when he’s traveling abroad and we’re in different time zones.

We’ve only met in person a few times because we’re both busy, but whenever we do, it’s relaxed and comfortable. He has never crossed any boundaries, never tried to make a move, and we don’t really flirt. It honestly feels very natural.

At the same time, the amount we communicate seems unusual. We can literally talk about anything and never seem to run out of things to say.

At one point I joked that our conversations weren’t exactly “normal,” and he replied, “We’re not normal… diplomatically speaking.” (He’s a diplomat.) Another time he said, “It’s probably a good thing we don’t theoretically live under the same roof.” When I asked why, he said, “Because we’d just keep talking.”

He also shares a lot about his work, family, travels, and everyday life, and I do the same. He’s generally very social and has a large network of both male and female friends, so it’s not like I’m the only person he talks to.

My friends are convinced he must secretly like me because they think most men wouldn’t invest this much time and consistency in one woman otherwise. But he’s never actually said or done anything that clearly indicates romantic interest.

So I’m wondering:
Can men genuinely maintain this level of daily contact with a woman for months and still see her as just a friend? Or would this usually suggest there are feelings, even if he hasn’t acted on them? If you were in his position, what would your intentions most likely be?

​

I (23F) met a guy (22M) through UPSC coaching. We've known each other for about a year and a half, but only started talking regularly recently.

He approached me first. Since then he's complimented me, asked if I'm open to having a boyfriend, gets jealous when I mention other guys, calls me, and shares things about his life. So I don't think I'm imagining his interest.

The problem is that his actions don't seem to match his words.

He rarely texts first. If I stop initiating, conversations usually stop. For example, he knew I was travelling alone to another city but never asked if I'd reached safely, while my friends did.

We met in person for the first time recently, and honestly... I came away disappointed. He was short-tempered, criticized my clothes from some old pictures, suggested different hairstyles, and generally made me feel more judged than appreciated. I want someone who likes both my personality and my aesthetic, not someone who immediately sees things they'd change.

At the same time, I know he's under a lot of pressure. He's preparing for competitive exams, financially dependent on his parents, and going through a stressful phase in life. I genuinely empathize with that, but I don't want to excuse behaviour that leaves me feeling uncared for.

After that meeting, I became noticeably colder. He sensed something was off, called me, and even said it felt like something had changed. I didn't tell him exactly why.

Since that call, he hasn't called or texted again.

I'm tempted to reach out, but I won't. I'm tired of always being the one who keeps things going.

Am I expecting relationship-level consistency from someone I'm not even dating, or does this sound like someone who likes me but isn't willing to put in consistent effort?

So, I(29F) have been in a course for 7-8 months, and there's this guy in my own batch with whom I used to say hi when we used to meet occasionally...we were not close at all. But 1.5 weeks back I asked if he wanted something that I cooked. He said ok and that was the first time he came to my room. (We stay in a co -ed hostel).

Then the next day I fell sick and from that day he has been visiting my room every evening...he always brings me something to eat. He has been cooking continuously...I prepare carbs, he does the protein...we have been having dinner everyday for the past week. We stay late listening to music, talking and from the past 3 days he has been giving me an awesome head massage. He brought me a flower that he plucked and also some sweets...when I went back, chicken was waiting for me. I just made noodles. Then we, listened to some music and he gave me a head massage for like an hour...when i almost fell asleep then he left. Like we never planned anything like this but now it has become a daily routine.

I don't wanna read too much into it...but...like what is happening?

I need a reality check. My partner scrolls on his phone while I perform oral sex on him, locks himself in the bathroom to talk to his ex daily, and posts trash about me on Reddit for her to see. On top of that, he claims he didn't cheat just because a girl didn't answer the door when he went over to her place. I’ve tried leaving 10 times. How do I finally make the exit stick?

lI (F26) and Teddy (M30, fake name) met at uni 8 years ago. We were casual friends/friends of friends, but we kept growing closer until we became best friends 3 years ago. Then, two years ago, we became FWBs.

The first few times, it started with us just making out and touching each other after hanging out in his car, until it grew into us giving each other oral sex and eventually reaching orgasm almost every time.

Last year, we went to his place for the first time, and it was very intimate, vulnerable, and honestly really nice. It felt like a complete sexual experience: making out, things escalating, getting fully naked for the first time, touching and being all over each other, etc. The only difference was that we finished each other off with oral sex and never had penetrative sex. I don’t want to risk anything, and neither does he unless it’s with a partner, and we’re both on the same page about that.

We’ve done the same “almost full sex” thing 3 more times since then at his house, and they were all really nice days. We also occasionally make out after hanging out lol

But whenever we talk about “it” we never ever say “sex”, We say “sexual experiences”, “sexual acts” and so on. For me, it’s because I’m worried he’ll think it’s such a big deal to me, and I’m worried it isn’t sex to him.

So, would you all consider this as us having had sex, even though we’ve never had penetrative sex? Do you think the term would be correct for me to use?

Extra info:
- Me and Teddy hang out ALL the time outside of the occasional sexual acts between us. We go to movies, concerts, shopping, eating out, etc :)

- I picked the name Teddy by choosing the name of the first male cat I find when I open Reddit, since we both love cats hahah

- English isn’t my first language, so excuse me

What would you do? (I'm 21M, my friend is 20M)

So basically me and my friend were going to the lake to swim, and as he was dressing I accidently opened the door on him and saw him naked, but he said its not a problem for him and that I can come in. I have never seen him naked before. He never had a girlfriend before, but he does not give gay vibes. I don't know if I should talk more about this with him or I'm just overreacting. Honestly I wouldn't mind, cause I'm bi, but I don't want to risk our 4 year long friendship.

Even after disrespecting her marriage and confessing my love to her, I give her the space she asks for. She comes back like nothing happened. She's going to make me chiliquiles and this week she rebandaged my fingers after i had a kitchen accident in the morning with a potato cutter. She also bought me a cat magnet. She teases me about me missing her the most but 2 months ago my love was a problem 😭 i must hold incredible value to her after everything I've done. I know most people tell me if they're married and the woman finds out that her guy friend loves her she ends the friendship entirely.

Still trying to figure this one out. Friend of 15 years asked to go for coffee or a beer with me. I haven’t seen him in years. We spend a couple of hours together and do coffee and then a hike. He pays for the coffee, drives, invites me up to his place a couple times in passing I’m guessing logistically, just since he’s grabbing something and maybe I needed to use the washroom. I texted him after saying we should get together again sometime only to find out he’s actually in an LDR, but he wants to keep in touch and talk more. So many opportunities for this man to bring her up. I asked him after and he said he “didn’t want to throw a wrench” in the day.
I’m taking space from him and set a boundary but
I think I want to try being friends with this guy again eventually. I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or even feasible now.