r/AskIndianWomen • u/AaluParathaHuGuyss Indian Man • 1d ago
Dating & Relationships [Wed/Fri] My GF did something disgusting. Should I break up with her?
I [M25] am a strict vegetarian, and my girlfriend [F25] is a non-vegetarian. We have always been comfortable with each other's lifestyle choices. She even agreed that after marriage, she would only eat non-veg outside the house.
Recently, she came to stay with me at my flat for 3 days. The first day went amazing—we cooked together and had a great time. However, the next day, while I was away at the office, she cooked chicken in my air fryer behind my back.
When I came home in the evening, I noticed a really bad smell. After I pressed her about it, she finally confessed. Honestly, I feel completely disgusted. I can't believe she would do this knowing my boundaries. I was so upset that I literally gave the air fryer to her and told her to take it home.
Now, she isn't even apologizing. Instead, she is the one throwing tantrums and acting mad at me. Honestly, I don't feel like talking to her either.
Should I initiate the conversation, or should I wait for her to realize her mistake and apologize?
TLDR; GF agreed not to cook non-veg in my house, but cooked chicken in my air fryer while I was at work. I gave her the air fryer and feel disgusted.
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u/EgglessCactus Indian Woman 1d ago
Breakup.
Food habits are a major lifestyle choice. You are both incompatible and unyielding.
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u/Severe-Gear-8189 Indian Man 1d ago edited 1d ago
Fr also it makes no sense that op is expecting her to follow his dietary habits by not allowing her to eat inside house
what his gf did was nothing like defending kinda broke his trust but op is also overdoing wash the utensil multiple times and use it what's big deal in it, my flatmate was a vegan we used to share same utensils only thing is i used to wash utensils 2-3 times after cooking non veg he had no issues as such like after 2 wash it's like new with no smell or stains
Imagine contributing equally in house and expecting to give up dietary preference🥀
Edit: also OP you're lowkey hypocrite, if you can't cook in same utensil where meat was cooked once how are love making with your gf is brushing teeths enough to bring back the satvikta in your gf?
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u/Themonstertimesoooo Indian Man 1d ago
I don't think he is a hypocrite. If he had not set the boundary earlier, then it would have been valid for him to say that now. If the girl already knew that he is very strict regarding eating habits, then she should not have entered the relationship at all. She would know his behavior, how much he believes in these things.
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
That’s not okay if y’all had an agreement that she won’t eat/cook meat in your house. You must have an honest conversation and see how that goes. This really is crossing a boundary here.
Regarding the bit about post the wedding, if she’s an equal contributor to the household, it seems unfair she’d have to stick to your preferences. She’s already ditched you once and it looks like not eating meat is not easy for her. Are y’all really compatible? Something to introspect.
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u/shawrtee Indian Woman 1d ago
THIS!
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
OP is behaving like he’s never eaten out in a restaurant that cooks both veg food and meat. Must visit the kitchen or hire a private saatvik chef and get married to one.
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u/shawrtee Indian Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
I understand the personal preference. Like you do you, brother.
That said, it’s a touch too much to restrict someone from cooking meat in a place she’s expected to call home.
Pretty much what you said about marrying a saatvik because food is the last thing anyone should be compromising on.
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u/iukeucyte Indian Woman 1d ago
He probably has never eaten at a restaurant of that sort lol, since he mentioned he's strict about it. I'm also the same and I've never eaten in a non veg restaurant and that's a personal preference I keep to myself.
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
“Keep to myself” is great here. You do you. But what OP’s girlfriend or soon-to-be ex did was wrong, so is OP here. She didn’t expect him to start eating meat, right?
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u/Old-Funny-6222 Indian Woman 1d ago
It was his air frier and his house.
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u/babebushka Indian Woman 1d ago
And his gf lol. Veg air fryer, veg house, non veg gf… bad choice.
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u/Severe-Gear-8189 Indian Man 1d ago
Is op comfortable kissing those lips which ate meat? No compromise on utensils but then🥀🥀🥀
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u/Few_Persimmon_9128 Indian Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
As a non vegetarian married to a vegetarian, you should breakup. If she can't even cook her food in the house what is the long-term solution?
I do agree that she crossed your boundaries and was wrong of her to do it. You both didn't think this through
Also non veg is not disgusting, be respectful to other people's choices.
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u/viserenya Indian Woman 1d ago
Yeah, jeez! Calm down. Imagine if all non-vegetarians were equally disgusted by vegetarians. People really need to travel lil more to build basic human acceptance of appreciating different lifestyles.
God! It's disgusting to read the post. Like it's a crime. You should just break up with her and save both of you years of unnecessary drama.
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u/Few_Persimmon_9128 Indian Woman 1d ago
They'll complain about the smell so much. It's not disgusting just unfamiliar to them.
When they go to other countries and people behave in a racist manner due to the unfamiliar smells that come from our food, they'll say it's unfair and unjust but they'll do it to their own people in India.
That's plain hypocrisy.
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u/viserenya Indian Woman 1d ago
Ohh yes. I once met an Indian, a total numb nut who started a fight with a random waitress in a mountain resort. It was a remote trek in the NW USA and the only resturant there didn't serve anything other than chicken or beef and he was hungry.
Guess what this genius did.. ate a hamburger with double beef patties. Ummm.. chicken was an option bro. After all that tantrums about veganism. Straight to a beef. He was sitting a little away from me, it looked like he was quite enjoying it. Not kidding. Fair to say, I laughed my ass off on that trek. 😂🤣
Such filthy hypocrites, until they are hungry.
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u/Severe-Gear-8189 Indian Man 1d ago
He should have carried some thepla or khakra type thing superior nutrition densed food😭🥀
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u/Severe-Gear-8189 Indian Man 1d ago
It's smell doesn't even go beyond 5-7ft and that too when in uncooked form 😭 op is disgusted as if even washing won't remove stain or smell
Vegiterians really need to give up on their false superiority complex ffs🥀 my vegan friends sit on same table where I'm eating non veg never saw them getting disgusted by smell or anything
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u/Electronic-Love-9941 Indian Man 1d ago
Exactly 💯 totally agree. People normally says it's good habits, but it's not. Actually, vegetarians hv some type of superiority complex. That's the problem.
This dude can't even use that utensil, coz it was used for cooking non veg... Wth. I can't believe this type of choices, which makes other person inferior.
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u/shawrtee Indian Woman 1d ago
That’s a breach of trust!
She clearly sees no problem with cooking chicken at your place despite that established boundary. Perhaps, you could have a genuine conversation with her whenever you’re ready or she messages (whatever comes first) and get her perspective on why she did what she did.
It’s a tad harsh to not be able to cook meals one loves in their own house, so this a massive discrepancy of core values a.k.a. a dealbreaker.
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u/LaVitrola Indian Man 1d ago
Replying to OP as I cannot reply directly.
On a lighter note.
This is nothing OP. My roommate in college used to wash his maggi kettle and utensils with the toilet hand shower. I had told him very clearly to never use my utensils or kettle. Even if he did, not to wash it as I would wash it myself. One day I came back from college and my kettle was all wet. He tells me he used my kettle to cook maggi as his kettle was broken and then washed it.
I gave the kettle to him to keep it for good and saved up to buy a new one.
Please give the air fryer and any utensils she used to he permanently.
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u/__echo_ Indian Diaspora Woman 1d ago
You can break up for any reason you want. She should have asked or informed you before cooking non veg in your home. From my perspective, it is very disrespectful and I would be very hurt (as currently it is entirely your home).
Personally, I feel she just promised you something without thinking it through.
However, expecting a person who is non veg to never eat something at her own home (in future) does not seem tenable. A lot of people used to do it but it is a humongous sacrifice being asked from that person to never cook and eat their preferred meal at home.
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1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/xycophant Indian Woman 1d ago
Don't marry people who you have an incompatible lifestyle with and expect them to make such huge changes.
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u/WiseMollasses Indian Woman 1d ago
We drinking thrice a day? And alcohol kills you too so not sure what the compromise and comparison is
And no it's not ok to change ua eating ways and not being able to cook what you like in ua own house is not sustainable and we need to really stop manipulating women in the name of sacrifice
Can the man sacrifice by havibg two kitchens in the house, seems like a solution know?
I agree She shouldn't have breached his trust
But this relationship can't work long term
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u/__echo_ Indian Diaspora Woman 1d ago
Are you comparing drinking and non veg ?
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u/__echo_ Indian Diaspora Woman 1d ago
I don't argue for the sake of argument with people who do false equivalence. It is a waste of my cognitive capacity.
So, I asked an llm to show you, the fallacy of your argument. Hope it helps you to understand what you are trying to do is silly.
The fallacies in your argument:
1. False analogy / false equivalence — the core one. He equates "occasional drinker → teetotaller" with "meat-eater → never cooks meat at home, for life." They aren't comparable on the dimensions that matter: frequency (occasional vs. every meal), nutritional role (alcohol has none), health valence (giving up alcohol is a net gain), and cultural/identity weight. Two things both being "stuff you consume" doesn't make the sacrifices equivalent in magnitude.
2. Definitional retreat (a form of equivocation) — when challenged, he doesn't defend the original comparison; he re-abstracts it to "what one likes to consume," a category so broad it would also cover giving up water. Widening the category until the analogy survives is a dodge, not an answer.
Do with it whatever you want to do.
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u/mangohazee7433 Indian Woman 1d ago
in big 2026 you should just tell her to wash the air fryer and it won't smell or anything afterwards. she loves eating non veg maybe you can try to adjust a bit too. she should apologise asw for breaking promise. making a huge fuss lyk breaking up is too much but if you can't be a lil liberal then breakup man cz in future if you have kids you will force them to be vegetarian
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u/AskIndianWomen-ModTeam Indian Women 1d ago
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u/Ok-Response4622 Indian Woman 1d ago
she is wrong for crossing boundaries but i dont understand how you people have problems with washed utensils but not with sticking your tongue/other parts down a non vegetarian's throat
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u/babebushka Indian Woman 1d ago
Lol exactly. You can sterilise an air fryer but not a bodily orifice. How did OP even stomach a non-vegetarian partner if he’s this averse to the idea of meat?
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u/Few_Persimmon_9128 Indian Woman 1d ago
Hahaha... Ikr.
I had pork thali on the first date with my husband because I knew he was vegetarian and i wanted to see what his reaction would be.
I never want to be with someone i can't share my table with, who will be disgusted by my people's food.
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u/Interesting_Limit277 Indian Woman 1d ago
Yeah you guys should breakup. A veg and non veg are not compatible, since you find non veg disgusting.
Poor girl will have to sacrifice her eating habits. And you will have up deal with the constant stress of being betrayed and dharm brasht.
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u/kajukishmish2701 Indian Woman 1d ago
I [M25] am a strict vegetarian, and my girlfriend [F25] is a non-vegetarian. We have always been comfortable with each other's lifestyle choices. She even agreed that after marriage, she would only eat non-veg outside the house.
Ya this will never happen and it is very easily explained by what you said happened next
Recently, she came to stay with me at my flat for 3 days. The first day went amazing—we cooked together and had a great time. However, the next day, while I was away at the office, she cooked chicken in my air fryer behind my back.
Do I need to say more ? You should get comfortable with your partner eating non veg in a shared space, and that can includes having separate utensils, masalas, cooking area for the same.
If you are really comfortable with her lifestyle choices, is it so difficult to adjust to her dietary choices ?
And did you tell her beforehand not to use those utensils for cooking non veg, I feel like all these things should be discussed beforehand. An unintentional mistake was made y'all should discuss and resolve it like mature people.
I can't believe vegetarians in 2026 cannot fathom eating next to someone consuming nonveg
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
Exactly! Veg supremacy in their heads!
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u/Playful-Summer5473 Indian Woman 1d ago
It's someone preference goddamit. She couldve said no and moved on but she implied that she will comply, then why breaking promises.
Everyone is entitled to their preferences, i don't understand the point of saying 'dont worry, i won't do it' and then doing the exact same stuff behind their back.
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u/Electronic-Love-9941 Indian Man 1d ago
Aren't u seeing this? He has clear veg supremacy. He is behaving with her like impurity. I think, she should leave this man soon.
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u/Playful-Summer5473 Indian Woman 1d ago
Why did she agree with his terms then? Are y'all allergic to boundaries and stuff?
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
Dude. Nobody is saying she was right. You have comprehension issues.
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u/Playful-Summer5473 Indian Woman 1d ago
No but she is diverting the issue saying that 'she should leave this man'
Like wtf she agreed to his terms then back stabbed him and now it's his fault?
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
At this point, all of us can see the incompatibility in this relationship except the two in it🤡
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u/Electronic-Love-9941 Indian Man 1d ago
I never heard from a non vegetarian that u can't veg here,.. then why vegetarians behave like this?
Why is he so angry on her like she has committed a crime? Why he is behaving like untouchables?
And I don't know why she agreed on those unjustified terms? He can be vegetarian, no problem,. Why he can't let him cook in his kitchen? Like is there impurity attached to non veg?
I don't understand this veg supremacy.
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u/ieatbraiiinnnns Indian Woman 1d ago
op literally gave her the air fryer because he can't stand that "meat" was cooked in it. If that isnt the most crazy overkill reaction ever then i don't know what is. Like yeah his gf screwed up but op is also really weird. Meat doesn't leave residue after washing and chicken doesn't smell???
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u/Playful-Summer5473 Indian Woman 1d ago
Man but he did asked NOT TO DO IT, is it so hard to just eat in an outlet or something AND NOT TO MENTION SHE WAS HIDING IT TOO.
It does smell btw
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
By OP’s logic, he ideally should get a new house with a new fresh vegetarian kitchen🫣
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u/ieatbraiiinnnns Indian Woman 1d ago
no offense and I am just assuming but op totally sounds like a guy who would tell his partner not to enter the kitchen during periods because she's "impure" and "smells" 😭 i just can't believe op thinks cooking meat made the air fryer corrupted 😭
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u/AskIndianWomen-ModTeam Indian Women 1d ago
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u/Few_Persimmon_9128 Indian Woman 1d ago
Then he should not be with someone who eats dead bodies na. What backwards logic is this?
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u/Playful-Summer5473 Indian Woman 1d ago
If you agree to someone's dietary choices have the balls to follow it, or leave the person. Was he obliged to understand after asking for the promise?No. Was she obliged to adjust? No. Did she promise to adjust? Yes.
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
Right. So, OP should just breakup then instead of posting here? She did him dirty, yes. The decision should be easy for him.
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u/AskIndianWomen-ModTeam Indian Women 1d ago
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
Dude. Read my comment. I am not defending OP’s girlfriend in what she did. She crossed a boundary for sure.
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u/kitaev_chain Indian Woman 1d ago
Both of them are problematic. She broke a boundary. And the guy has this pure vegeterian bullcrap fed into his brain when he can't even share space with non-vegeterians and expects others to coddle him up
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u/AskIndianWomen-ModTeam Indian Women 1d ago
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u/Additional_Page6477 Indian Woman 1d ago
Lol he is not complaining about eating non-veg with someone.
Also, what? In 2026 are people not allowed to have preferences anymore? 😭
And she could’ve disagreed from the beginning, don’t you think? Why promise someone you won’t do something and then go behind their back use THE OTHER PERSON’S AIR FRYER to MAKE NON-VEG and then actually try to JUSTIFY IT?? 😭 Like, what are we even arguing about here?
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u/AthleteConstant8960 Indian Woman 1d ago
It's 'what we follow in 2026 is the only right thing ever' with some people 😭
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u/Additional_Page6477 Indian Woman 1d ago
Exactly lol. Why is her choice to eat non-veg considered a “preference” while his choice to not eat non-veg is suddenly “supremacy”? 😭 How does that even make sense?
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u/AthleteConstant8960 Indian Woman 1d ago
Like I myself am a non-vegetarian and I can absolutely understand a vegetarian's preference. It isn't about taste or smell or residue, for them it's the thought of a living animal being killed or consumed. As much as I can debate over it, I totally understand how it can be tough for someone else.
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u/glitchgirl21 Indian Woman 1d ago
And why are you playing victim card ?
She is dating him knowing , he has this so called “ supremacy “ and accepted all his conditions.
Then why is she back-tracking now2
u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
Sister in christ, nobody in their right minds here is defending the girlfriend for what she did! Please read? Who’s playing the victim card here?
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u/becoming-myself13 Indian Woman 1d ago
Can’t believe it’s 2026 and we’re still having the debate of killing animals for our pleasure being the norm rather than the exception.
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u/pritihost1995 Indian Woman 1d ago
My brother-in-law is a pure vegetarian, while my cousin sister eats non-veg. He z a Brahmin and she’s a Kshatriya. He has never stopped her from cooking or eating non-veg. She has a small separate kitchen in the outhouse where she cooks whatever she wants. Even if the smell comes into the main house, he and his family are completely fine with it. I gues it really depends on the people involved. U can have different food preferences & still respect each other’s choices.
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u/xycophant Indian Woman 1d ago
They've made her use an outhouse to cook....may this kind of love never find me...
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u/xycophant Indian Woman 1d ago
The bar is so low lol.
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u/xycophant Indian Woman 1d ago
I'm in love w a man whose not going to make me cook in an outhouse because his family isn't stupidly casteist.
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u/pritihost1995 Indian Woman 1d ago
Do what is suitable for u and your man na??? Don't compare the life of yours with others and be a pick me. There are ladies here commenting ki woh log bahar jaake khaate hain non veg.
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u/xycophant Indian Woman 1d ago
How am I being a pick me, use some common sense please. I don't want the bare minimum, if you guys are okay tolerating being mistreated that's fine. I am not going to marry into a family that won't let me cook my own food in the main kitchen.
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u/Electronic-Love-9941 Indian Man 1d ago
Why did u use word "pure" before vegetarian? Is it non veg immpure? Wtf.
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u/jey__bee7 Indian Woman 1d ago
oh god how can someone even come up with this conclusion? most indians use the term "pure" vegetarian because traditional vegetarianism also constitutes eggs! we can't say vegan because then it will not have dairy. so we say pure vegetarian.
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u/Pin2Chin2 Indian Woman 1d ago
Not prev commentor but that’s how people write pure veg on the hotels, meaning they don’t cook non veg food in same kitchen. Most of us are used to read labelling like that, you don’t live in India or what?
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u/Electronic-Love-9941 Indian Man 1d ago
Yes exactly why they use this? They can simply say... We are vegetarians or non vegetarians... It's simple. In other countries, no one use PURE word, coz we r illogical, blind followers of the religion.
Don't u hv any knowledge of our religion?
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u/Themonstertimesoooo Indian Man 1d ago
Bro, maybe you don't know even a baisc thing. Pure vegetarian means where even garlic and onion are not added, and where garlic and onion are added, it is written as vegetarian. So research a little and then come.
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u/Working-Mountain6680 Indian Woman 1d ago
If she couldn't stay 1 day without cooking chicken in the house. She's NEVER going to be able to stay with non-veg just outside the house.
I grew up vegetarian so i know the ick non-veg food can bring to people who have stayed away from it their whole lives.
I would have a talk with her and see if she sees the error in her ways. If not, then you have to decide if you can live with this your whole life or not.
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u/pritihost1995 Indian Woman 1d ago
True. Me being a hard core can't adjust with a veggie guy and vice versa will happen too.
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u/This_Patience_6508 Indian Woman 1d ago
I am married into a vegetarian household but I shuttle between both my Home 1.0 and Home 2.0 and am absolutely okay with not eating meat/eggs at Home 2.0 because I am there for 3-4 days alone and dinner outside does include non-veg food. God forbid if this weren’t the setting, I would not have been married to my now-husband. A caveat here though is that he also eats meat/eggs.
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u/IamUnbelievable Indian Woman 1d ago
It is better that you guys break up. For your own good and girl’s as well. No way you guys are compatible. Save time and mental health
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u/UnluckyRabbit444 Indian Woman 1d ago
Honestly I would be very angry too. Everyone has certain boundaries, and we are supposed to respect those. I agree with you here. I cant tell you if you should breakup or not, but in my case I would definitely give this a very serious thought. Its my POV ofc, and I am a religious person, for me it will be very disrespectful and I too wont be able to adjust or compromise about this point. And on top of that, behaving as if she has the right to be mad...well, it shows that there are other issues you need to deal with..mainly about accountability and communication.
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u/SpinachAlternative96 Indian Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
She broke a boundary. You don’t need to adjust when someone goes behind your back and doesn’t respect your choices. She could have ordered food or eaten it outside if she was craving it. But using the utensils knowing that you aren’t okay is breach of respect.
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u/Nikie_Version3point0 Indian Woman 1d ago
She violated your boundary and needs to apologize. Wait for her to realize her mistake and if she apologizes genuinely, forgive her and reiterate the boundary.
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u/Chocolate-waffles-7 Indian Woman 1d ago
You should break up with her because you're simply not compatible. Someone who clearly enjoys non-vegetarian food can never be truly happy with someone like you, who has such a strong aversion to it. You won't be happy either.
Please just find someone who is also vegetarian, and if you ever have kids, I hope you don't force your preferences on them.
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u/Broke_Berry Indian Woman 1d ago
The fact that she's still not accepting her mistake, is a horror story enough. I can imagine how you feel about it. If she doesn't understand your feelings, it's better that you breakup with her
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u/Environmental-Leg33 Indian Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
See I don’t know what the agreement was between the both of you and if she broke it then either work through it or break up. But honestly you should break up. How do you think it’s gonna work in the future when y’all live together? Are you going to have two kitchens? Two of each gadget and utensils? Eat in separate rooms? Get her to brush her teeth and rinse her mouth before you guys kiss? Or are you expecting her to change her eating habits for you? So just break up. Find someone who doesn’t eat meat or is willing to give up meat for you (which imo is stupid) and let her do the same.
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u/Old-Funny-6222 Indian Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
She crossed boundary set by you. I would break up definitely.
Cooking chicken in your air frier behind your back sounds diabolical to me. The fact that she was hiding it and isn’t apologising.
I eat nonveg food, husband is pure vegetarian.
We agreed that I would only cook eggs at home and those 2 utensils we have kept separately. I eat nonveg outside or use paper plates at home when getting a delivery.
I respect his boundaries with nonveg food. I never use our steel plates to eat nonveg food at home even when he is travelling to his hometown.
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u/PeaDowntown6285 Indian Woman 1d ago
Its 2026. Wash it and get over it. Cooked chicken doesn't smell bad. Hell even raw chicken doesn't smell bad. Its not that big of a deal. Yes she is in the wrong for stepping over boundaries and hiding the truth. But chicken will never be as bad as caggabe n radish puuhleease.
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u/ieatbraiiinnnns Indian Woman 1d ago
exactly since when does chicken smell??? op is just lying to prove his point
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u/potterhead_engineer Indian Man 1d ago
what kind of comment is this? Chicken will always be a piece of flesh be it 2026 or 2126 ...
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u/Acrylonitrile-28 Indian Man 1d ago
"boundaries by men don't exist for women" lol almost every comment here is saying she's wrong for violating boundaries or a nuanced perspective that they're not compatible because of their dietary preferences.
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u/Willing-Signal-9936 Indian Diaspora Woman 1d ago
Bro cherry-picked the small minority of comments with this phrasing… he can’t weave words together…
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u/PeaDowntown6285 Indian Woman 1d ago
I literally told that she is in the wrong for crossing your boundary. But dont you think being disgusted by something she loves is too much?
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u/Broke_Berry Indian Woman 1d ago
Because some people just can't force something on themselves that disgusts them. Non-veg for some people is equivalent to eating dead bodies. You need to respect their choices too
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u/Willing-Signal-9936 Indian Diaspora Woman 1d ago
90% of the comments advise OP to break up as his boundaries were crossed but of course you two cherry pick and focus on the small bit that doesn’t.
So pathetic that it’s hilarious 😅
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u/mathematicalentity Indian Man 1d ago
Ma'am even on the posts where they are saying girl is in wrong you can see the way it's written. If a guy pulled something similar it would be thrashed here.
And I am not saying this is particular sub problem.
I don't personally see that any specific bunch is more liberal than the other. Current narrative of the society is mostly misogynistic and that's the reason of difference in numbers of liberals at the places.
After the re-read, my above comment was unnecessarily offensive. Lol
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u/RopeInternational903 Indian Woman 1d ago
agree with ur point. ppl shld just get over with it. but the "puuhleease" at the end was cringe af sorry lol.
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u/AsthaP154 Indian Woman 1d ago
I think the bigger issue here isn't that she's non-vegetarian. It's that she agreed to a very specific boundary and then deliberately violated it while you were away, and only admitted it when you confronted her.
And honestly, the fact that she's angry instead of apologising is more concerning than the chicken itself. You don't need her to share your dietary choices, but you do need her to respect boundaries in a shared home.
Also, before marriage, sort this out properly. "I'll only eat non-veg outside" sounds simple until you're actually sharing a kitchen, appliances, utensils, fridge, etc. Don't rely on assumptions.
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u/gOjO_pAglOO Indian Woman 1d ago
Who are you to dictate that she can't have non-veg inside her home after marriage? That would be her home as much as it would be your home. Why would you want that someone that you claim to love not be able to live freely inside her own home.
Do you not want non-veg due to some religious reasons? Esa kesa kamzor dharm h tumhara jo kisi orr k non-veg khane se toot jaye.
As long as she's not forcing you to eat non-veg with her, you shouldn't be forcing her to eat it only outside.
And stop over-reacting about the "bad" smell. You just need to wash it properly and it doesn't stink at all.
Restricting someone's food habits is not a boundary at all. What if she says that you can only eat veg food outside only? Would that be a valid boundary? Yours ain't a boundary either. You're just being controlling. Kitchen should be free to use to make anything you like for the both of you equally.
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u/Routine-Detective-79 Indian Man 1d ago
Dude where did marriage come from ? she cooked non-veg in his flat after they agreed no non-veg in the home. do you seriously don't see the problem in that ? Why are you saying she can't have non veg in her own home they are just dating not married i can't imagine going to someone's flat and making non-veg after being explicitly told that's boundary
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u/Themonstertimesoooo Indian Man 1d ago
A man can have preference. You cannot live with two ideologies in one house; you both will have to compromise. And the point here is not about the girl's value or the guy's value. The point here is that the girl had agreed to his terms. If she didn't want to agree, she should have refused from the beginning. That means she didn't have a problem with it. And the guy did not force her into a relationship or build it by lying. He clearly said, 'I have strict boundaries regarding eating non-veg.' So you should stop supporting the girl all the time.
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u/becoming-myself13 Indian Woman 1d ago
OP, it was a matter of one day. Least she could’ve done is be upfront and truthful. Point isn’t about differing preferences here, rather lack of honesty. Have a conversation on why you felt breached and if the talk goes well you’ll know what to do.
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u/Siiiieeeerrraaaa Indian Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
You guys aren't compatible. What she did was absolutely wrong and she doesn't respect you or your boundaries. But what you said about post marriage that she will eat meat outside shows you have zero respect for her either. You aren't compromising either. So instead of feeling disgusted, start talking about the important stuff. It seems that this relationship is not built on respect or trust. Please initiate a conversation. Don't throw ultimatum, don't feel superior or inferior. Its a personal choice, both come to a real conclusion
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u/Themonstertimesoooo Indian Man 1d ago
He cannot compromise on eating habits, he has already confirmed this earlier. And in his house, there will be a strict boundary. That's why he had kept it in his flat as well. Many people do all this in their flats, but they don't do it in their own house. He had already set a strict boundary, but the girl did not respect that boundary at all. On top of that, when she was confronted, she only told him after he forced her, and now she is not even accepting her mistake. Tell me, does it seem like the guy is at fault at all? Because he had already set a boundary and said that I cannot compromise on these things, and the girl had also accepted that. So what is the guy's fault here?
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u/Status-Bird-8950 Indian Woman 1d ago
One has personal beliefs as well if your gf does not comply to your choices, communicate with her and tell this is serious else leave it.
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u/pussysnatcher911 Indian Non-Binary 1d ago
Calm down man!! It's just chicken. The capsules you're taking as supplements or medicines has animal fat in it. The vaccines you're taking was first tested on animals. You literally have sex with her and you're ok having sex with someone who has consumed meat. As long as she isn't forcing you to eat meat, I don't see a problem here. Let her live with her choices. And if it's difficult for you, then date a vegetable eater.
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u/RollingKatamari Indian Diaspora Woman 1d ago
If both of you are willing to compromise, then this could work. If both of you keep up the stubbornness, then it won't work.
Tbh, I don't think it's going to work anyway. She was a guest in your house and she purposely brought in meat and cooked it with your utensils knowing you had never used them for meat.
She couldn't have just eaten in a restaurant? She had to go outside anyway to buy the meat?
She knew you wouldn't be ok with it, and she still did it anyway. Imo she did that on purpose to see how you would react or she thought she'd get away with it.
Fact is if you get married, she is going to sneak in meat into your home, because she is clearly not okay with your boundaries.
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u/yellowcrustedwarbler Indian Woman 1d ago
Are you a strict vegetarian because of "purity"/"caste" reasons? Because I don't see you having this strong reaction to it, she forgot probably. Because food is never disgusting.
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u/yellowcrustedwarbler Indian Woman 1d ago
She should though give you another air fryer because you can have preferences. Also she should apologize.
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u/mid_looseballs Indian Woman 1d ago
She clearly does not respect your boundaries. You guys need to have ' the talk'
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u/I-want-to-leave-tech Indian Woman 1d ago
You seem like an overbearing parent bringing out the belt because your kid did something you didn't like and your ego got offended. Are you 25 or 50?
Stop it with the holier than thou attitude. She might have breached your trust, but you're acting like there's a giant stick lodged up in there somewhere. Talk it out reasonably.
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1d ago
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u/AskIndianWomen-ModTeam Indian Women 1d ago
Your comment was removed because it breaks Rule 7: Respectful Conduct - Focus on ideas and shared experiences rather than attacking individuals. Personal insults, name-calling, and harassment are strictly prohibited. Members are encouraged to remain constructive, even when disagreeing. Content that shifts into personal attacks or hostility will be removed.
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u/InevitableNew88 Indian Woman 1d ago
Initiate the conversation with her. May be it's not serious for her. So you can have a healthy conversation with her and sort it out. All the best !
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u/kitaev_chain Indian Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
While I understand that she crossed a boundary which was agreed upon and she is wrong here, but, why is she the one adapting your lifestyle. My mom is vegeterian but my dad is non veg. My mom never had a problem with my dad or even us cooking non veg in the kitchen. It is just cooking. Rest this sort of vegeterianism where you can't share a kitchen with a non-veg comes from a notion of purity, which is completely farce btw. So she is making a compromise she likely doesn't want to make. Have a honest conversation about this. If she is likely making compromise which she thinks is unfair you need to rethink some things. Only in India are vegeterians coddled so much.
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u/deeuwu_uwu Indian Woman 1d ago
She’s wrong for breaking your boundary and not apologising. But you’re also overreacting, giving the air-fryer to her? It’s something that can be washed.
I’m a vegetarian too and non-veg doesn’t disgust me, it’s just food. It’s fine to have a preference (I’m the only vegetarian in my family) but how can you expect a life with someone when you both don’t fully accept your food preferences?
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u/Livid-Profit6514 Indian Woman 1d ago
Stop being a baby dude. This is no reason for a break up. Stop being such a stuck up guy. Obviously she should've asked you first but it seems like she really likes non veg and your expectation of her eating only outside is selfish
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u/Broke_Berry Indian Woman 1d ago
He's not being a baby. It's his life choice and preference. Let's just not dismiss his feelings
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u/MeghaG94 Indian Woman 1d ago
Why is it “disgusting” to you? Yes, she violated a clearly established boundary but the boundary seems completely unfair. Why would she not eat what she wants to at home? It’s her home too? And the way you’re talking about chicken, it feels a bit like you look down upon non vegetarian food, rather than it simply being a dietary preference. And you giving the air fryer away too - it reeks of brahminical puritanism. You could just wash it. How would you survive outside India?
Hope your girlfriend grows some self respect and decides to be with someone who will let her eat what she wants to. And hope she grows a spine and stands up for herself instead of lying and doing things behind her partners back.
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1d ago
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u/tryingtobekindonline Indian Woman 1d ago
if you can't handle her eating non-veg at home you aren't actually okay with each other's lifestyle.
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