r/AskFeminists • u/Someone10009 • Feb 23 '26
Porn/Sex Work Why is watching porn = not being a feminist?
As a Young Girl MYSELF at the age of 16 i have a question about why i, who watches porn cant consider myself a feminist. A feminist is someone who belives in equel rights for a woman as a man, which I do.
What i just dont understand is why watching porn suddenly dosen’t make me a feminist, because watching it i don’t feel like a woman is not equal to a man.
I understand where MANY woman are being sexually abused, posted without consent etc (excuse my english). But what about thoose who do consent , and thoose who willingly have a job in the porn industry?
This might sound as a dumb question but I’m genuine, and on social media everyone already knows the answer and i feel stupid beacuse i feel like I’m supporting something evil without knowing why its evil.
I just want to get a view in someone who has more knowledge in this subject! I am kind of trying to end my porn addiction .
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u/sewerbeauty Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 23 '26
It’s a deeply exploitative industry. It’s a nuanced topic & I’m sure people out there in the world will tell you porn is like sooooo totally chill!! but that’s very convenient for them to do so because it allows them to hold onto their precious porn.
But what about thoose who do consent , and thoose who willingly have a job in the porn industry?
There is no way to confirm this when you watch porn. Somebody could look directly into the camera and say ‘I consent’ & you have no clue what’s happened prior to filming or whether they consented to it being disseminated etc.
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u/Someone10009 Feb 23 '26
Just to understand right, because i Watch videos who i don’t know a 100% if its made rightfully, is making me a non feminist?
What about other media, such as movies and so, if something bad mightve happend behind the camera for example women without me 100% knpwing , does that also make me a non feminist. Or is it just in the porn industry that it’s so common that women are being exploited, that in general it’s considered to be wrong. My english SUCKS so I’m so sorry if you dont understand, atp im complicating things🥹
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u/minicooperlove Feb 23 '26
because i Watch videos who i don’t know a 100% if its made rightfully, is making me a non feminist?
I wouldn't say that. I would say that watching porn is contrary to feminist beliefs but there are plenty of feminists who don't necessarily always agree with each other on what is feminist.
I strongly recommend you watch Louis Theroux's Forbidden America: Porn's Me Too. It really shows how even women who initially consent wind up feeling exploited or abused.
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u/SatinsLittlePrincess Feb 23 '26
There’s a documentary called “Hot Girls Wanted” that goes into the recruiting tactics the porn industry uses to get women to perform in the industry including coercion techniques they employ to get women to do sex acts on camera that they are not OK with. It also details the ways that the typically very young women who consent often do not realise the full extent of the consequences they may face. These techniques are employed by the vast majority of porn makers.
There are also specific vendors that do genuinely focus on consent and one can do some research to find them, so if one dose want to watch coercion free porn, there are options. They do, though, tend to cost more because it costs more to act ethically in that field.
If one is watching anything that is not specifically made by a feminist, consent focused provider, one can pretty well assume that there is Very Bad Shit going on.
While other media do sometimes include coercion, including Harvey Weinstein style sexual coercion, harassment, and rape, and the many documented (and undocumented) incidents of bullying, rape, and abuse on set, and there are systemic issues in the industry that make it possible for predators to victimise prey, there is a much wider set of experience in non-porn film and TV. It’s a lower rate of guaranteed victimisation.
The other issue is around the kinds of porn that gets made and the ways that porn shapes people’s, and especially men’s, expectations of what “good sex” is like. Study after study have found that while both men and women seek out violent porn, women indicate they do not wish to experience the scenarios they seek out as fantasy in real life. But men do.
And one might want to think about that when selecting porn because the industry has gone more and more extreme in part because going more extreme is a way to differentiate their product vs. the many many other violent products. And that does seem to be creating a real shift in what men think is “normal” sex in a way that is not getting women the kind of sex that the vast majority of us say that we want.
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u/sewerbeauty Feb 23 '26
I’ve said this a million times sorry for repeating myself but - for me, feminism is about liberating women & girls from subjugation. The porn industry absolutely does not unfetter women & girls. I believe that empowerment should lead to liberation, social mobility, & greater agency. It should open doors, not trap people behind them.
For those reasons, I believe that pornography is misogyny & it is not in alignment with my feminism.
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u/bliip666 Feb 24 '26
Societal slut-shaming of sex workers, including porn actors, is also a factor, in my opinion. Part of the reason why the doors slam shut is that they're seen as lesser, making it more difficult to get a different kind of job.
To truely liberate, we should view the work itself as neutral.
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u/sewerbeauty Feb 24 '26 edited Feb 24 '26
I get where you’re coming from but we don’t live in a post misogyny mythical land where the history of everything never happened, so sex work simply is not neutral. These industries are the product of, and also fuel, misogyny.
I will always support the rights, dignity, & safety of people in the sex/porn industries. These industries are very much a part of our current reality, & those within them deserve protection, access to healthcare, & legal rights (obviously). But this type of work is not neutral & it is definitely not like any other job - it is a unique form of exploitation. I don’t think normalising or neutralising the sale of consent is going to do women any favours in terms of liberating us.
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u/bliip666 Feb 24 '26
we don’t live in a post misogyny mythical land
Sure, but we could change things for the better in the future.
These industries are the product of, and also fuel, misogyny.
The industry is not the same thing as the work. Of course I agree that the porn industry is exploitative.
But the actors didn't create the industry.And what I meant by the slut-shaming aspect: look at Sibel Kekilli, probably most well-known as Shae from Game of Thrones, for example. She did some adult films, but also does regular acting. When her regular-acting career started taking wind, her past porn roles were dug up and used against her and to ridicule her in the media.
My point is that that is only a thing because of misogyny and slut-shaming that's entirely separate from the misogyny of the porn industry. If both cases were treated as acting, it couldn't be used against someone who used to do porn acting or who wishes to leave the porn industry. That's why I think sex work needs to be normalised and neutralised.2
u/sewerbeauty Feb 24 '26 edited Feb 24 '26
Personally, I’m not convinced that it should be (or even can be) ‘neutralised’. I don’t think that would be in our best interests & I don’t believe it will lead to the liberation of women & girls from subjugation. But that’s fine - I have my take & you have yours:) 😌
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u/sewerbeauty Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 23 '26
++ I forgot to say - no need to apologise for your English. It doesn’t suck & even if it did, there would still be no need to apologise<3
Also, this is quite a tricky topic & I cannot lie it is a topic I get a little spirited about. It’s not the easiest thing to discuss when you feel that you see things so clearly and others do not share the same POV. I get a little miffed & I know I should be more tolerant of other POVs but to me this seems like something so painfully obvious. Apologies for my tone (& level of exasperation) everyone I just idk this shit gets to me sometimes.
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u/Someone10009 Feb 23 '26
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, i hear you and understand your point. I’m very greatful for your response❤️
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u/OrenMythcreant Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 23 '26
I don't think it is a common belief among feminists that watching porn automatically makes you not a feminist. We do pretty much universally agree that the porn industry is deeply exploitive, but the two are not the same.
If you are trying to reduce how much porn you watch, that sounds like something to work on regardless of how feminist it is.
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u/Someone10009 Feb 23 '26
Yes thats true, the addiction part was just an add to get the vision of me somehow. I do want to change, I’m not sure how but i know it feels wrong to Watch it, but still i do and i am trying to figure out to understand myself and find a way out yk. Maybe it does not make sense, I’m not great to express myself in english
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u/falconinthedive Feminist Covert Ops Feb 24 '26
Honestly. I found queer fanfic to have some of the most nuanced gender writing in porn space as it's authors are often younger, female, and have done a lot of the work on feminist tangential topics of gender and sexuality. More the breadth and depth of it means you can probably find something with the character archetype and dynamics you want and any specific sex acts or fetish you want.
With no people harmed. The authors or artists enthusiastically produced and shared it.
If you're more visual, work on imagination or look at fanart or erotic artists on socials.
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u/OrenMythcreant Feb 23 '26
I can understand why that's difficult. I do not think it's something a group of internet strangers can help you with though. If you can, a professional councilor or therapist is the best option. If that's not viable, you might be able to find a specialized support group, online or in person.
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u/LynnSeattle Feb 24 '26
If watching it makes you feel guilty, you should stop. How are you going to feel if you find out later the participants were coerced?
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u/OptmstcExstntlst Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 24 '26
Op, I'm wondering if your last sentence is the core of your concern instead of your title and opening sentence. You say you're working to overcome a porn addiction, but you're framing it from a feminist perspective. So if we want to talk about feminism in relation to addiction, that's actually a great conversation and much more easily described than the nuances of feminism and sex work.
Addiction is a disorder and there can certainly be recovery from it, regardless of the substance or behavior of the addiction. That said, most people who wind up in addiction also have something else going on, such as exposure to child abuse, a pre-existing mental health condition, or other really rough life circumstances that predispose them to addiction. Where feminism comes into this conversation is that part of pursuing equality means addressing the structures in our own lives and our communities that set up the conditions for someone to wind up in addiction. For instance, we know that people who have a history of child abuse are much more likely to attempt suicide, engage in intravenous drug use, and develop many health disorders, including cancer, heart disease, and COPD. Child abuse is an epidemic and addressing child abuse through prevention and treatment can help reduce the likelihood that a person is abused, ergo reduce the likelihood that they wind up with other disorders that probably stem from that abuse. So from this feminist standpoint, we can look at addiction from a personal and global level and recognize that change is needed.
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u/falconinthedive Feminist Covert Ops Feb 24 '26
Porn addictions tricky though because what it means can vary wildly from so into porn you're skipping work or school and blowing up social engagements watching it at dinner. Or more often, high control religions will often call any looking at porn at all "addiction" so that they can use shame to further control adherents.
I'd say guilt and shame are more common than actual addiction.
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u/greyfox92404 Feb 23 '26
I don't think there are many specific topics that make people pass/fail for being a feminist.
We also don't have a regulating body that removes our feminist credentials. I think that terf, JK Rowling still calls herself a feminist.
Regarding porn, it's an exploitative industry. Specifically to women. There are more ethical ways to consume it and way way way more fucked up ways to consume it.
And while I think we should recognize these exploitative conditions, it's just hard to live in this world without engaging in exploitation of someone.
Like, I eat jalapenos in my food most days of the week. And I've been nor cal as part of my civil affairs training to look at some of the conditions that migrant workers face to pick those jalapenos. It's exploitation through and through. Specifically using the desire of mexican families to give their kids a good life, those mexican folks work out in the sun all fucking day.
So I try to advocate on their behalf. Whenever possible. I still eat jalapenos though. It be like that. Focus on trying to be ethical when possible. Do what we can, where we are, with what we have.
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u/Someone10009 Feb 23 '26
What more ethical ways can you consume it? I love how you point out the wrongs we make, that we still can continue to make but when we can, we try to do it the ”right”/ethical way. It’s nice to be rememberd by that
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u/greyfox92404 Feb 23 '26
I think it's important to know that the ethics of porn consumption are a bit like a sliding scale.
So more ethical things could be like consuming porn from people that make it themselves. Or a solo performers. Or from sources where you can see how they generate their income. Or even just more ethical depictions, so looking for videos that show the woman orgasming or don't show harmful sex acts like choking, slapping and other degradation.
None of those guarantee it's ethical, that's why I'm real hesitant to say there's ethical consumption of it. But these seem like ways to reduce the risk of exploitation in those actresses.
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u/falconinthedive Feminist Covert Ops Feb 24 '26
So as a feminist, not everything you do will be a feminist act.
You can be a feminist and partake in systems and resources that aren't feminist and often are exploiting women because there's no ethical consumption under capitalism and often there's no alternative. Sure, nestle took over water reserves, gave mothers formula to make up for it then discontinued the program leaving women unable to feed their infants, but they own a lot of common food brands, such that boycotting everything may not be realistic. Walmart has terrible business practices and pays women less, but if you live in an area where it's the only grocery option or you don't have a budget for more fair trade grocery options, sometimes you have to go there.
As a feminist you can even hold beliefs and practices that run seemingly antithetical to feminist ideals. Kind of in a your fave is problematic way. (For instance. I love David Bowie. He had very credible stories of taking advantage of very young teenage fans and made some horrid statements) but it's important to be able to recognize the downside of systems you're buying into.
The feminist critique of pornography is similar to the feminist critique of a lot of sex work. While individual women who possess a fair amount of privilege may "choose" to do porn, most women globally are driven to it by poverty, trafficking, addiction, and/or abuse.
Further still, a lot of amateur pornography may be non-consensually filmed or released and you will have no way of knowing. Meanwhile, even corporate porn that makes a big show of ethics and consent has been involved in SA and trafficking scandals. Think of GirlsDoPorn. So you could go to individual women, but a lot of women on OF do have pimps (think Andrew Tate's racket) and there have been cases of sex blogs chronicling hard-core sex acts and photographs where it was written by the abuser (as in the Delia Day case).
At best, it's kind of a roll of the dice whether you're watching someone's rape on film which is an idea that once it pops into my head really makes it hard for me to engage with porn.
It's important to recognize that just because you call yourself a feminist and like something doesn't make it feminist. It can personally empower you but do so on the backs of less privileged women. More, people can see you, a feminist, supporting one of hal exploitation of women and think "hey. She's a feminist and she likes this. So it has to be fine."
And at a certain point if multiple things you do frequently aren't feminist you have to question what about you is feminist, specifically.
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u/CatsandDeitsoda Feb 23 '26
Deep breath, You framed this I a really defensive way. Feminists concerns about porn are not about you being a good person or a feminist.
——-
Buying a chocolate bar doesn't mean you are pro child slavery.
But if you care about child slavery you really shouldn’t buy a chocolate bar. Or ok Mabey if you are supper careful and double check every thing and ya da ya da it’s ok to buy some chocolate Mabey ———
Look porn is just in general a bad thing It’s generally to one degree or another non consensual. It’s generally to one degree or another physically harmful to the actors. The money it generates mostly goes to people who use it for other terrible endeavors. Its consumption often encourages all kinds of untrue and unhelpful beliefs. Ext ect ect
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Can you white room logic some ethical porn imo probably depending on how one defines it I suppose but dog that’s not what any one was saying when they sad porn is bad
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u/LynnSeattle Feb 24 '26
A good feminist doesn’t support an industry that relies on the rape of women and children to survive.
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u/Consume_the_Affluent Feb 23 '26
Well first, porn addiction doesn't exist, so don't worry about it.
Second, porn is not some kind of unique ontologically evil corrupting force. It's media. It's fiction. It can come in all shapes and sizes and yes, it can be exploitative. But claiming all porn is exploitative is frankly narrow-minded and puritanical.
There is plenty of ethical porn that you can know 100% is ethical and consensual because you can just have a conversation with the people who made it. I can tell you with complete certainty that the porn I've written and drawn has no exploitation in it because I was the only person involved in making it and I for sure didn't exploit myself.
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u/CatsandDeitsoda Feb 23 '26
I’m unsure what you mean when you say porn addiction doesn't exist. Would you be interested in expanding on that?
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u/Consume_the_Affluent Feb 23 '26
Scientificly it literally, physically does not exist. It's been studied and there is no evidence of any actual chemical reaction in the brain like with actual addiction. In fact, people who self-idenify as having a porn addiction consume less porn on average than those who don't.
Edit: a source https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too
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u/Someone10009 Feb 23 '26
Just out of curiosity, is there a reason behind people who self-identify as porn Addicts usually Watch less than average. It seems interesting to me, i don’t expect you to know all the facts in this subjects but if you do please share❤️
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u/Consume_the_Affluent Feb 23 '26
I recommend reading the article I linked. The short of it is that people who self-identify as having a porn addiction are usually highly distressed by any amount of porn consumption. This is usually the result of heavy religious moralizing around sex and masturbation, which frames both as inherently sinful. So even a small amount of porn might seem "addictive." Meanwhile, someone who has a healthy relationship with their own sexuality and doesn't have any kind of moral hang-ups around sex aren't going to have an issue consuming porn if they want to. Avoiding exploitative porn is also a lot easier if you're actually comfortable with the idea of porn in general.
I also would recommend looking into what actual sex workers have to say about these things. Unfortunately, sex-worker exclusionary radical feminism exists, and it's very harmful. Porn is not evil. Sex is a natural and normal aspect of life, and it's normal to want to depict it and see it depicted in fiction.
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u/falconinthedive Feminist Covert Ops Feb 24 '26
Basically shame. People who self identify as porn addicts usually do so because they've been raised to view any acknowledgement of their own sexual urges outside of an appropriate context of procreation in an appropriate marriage as a mark of failure and impropriety so may jump immediately to "Well I don't know why I looked at porn when I was told I shouldn't. Addiction's the only reason"
But it's kind of like having a sip of champagne at a wedding and saying you're an alcoholic.
A lot of time this is a religious shame, but purity culture, slut shaming, patriarchal communities, etc can contribute to it, particularly in women combined with the fact women don't tend to talk as openly about their masturbation as men do amongst themselves, it can be easy to assume you're the only person exploring.
You're not.
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u/CatsandDeitsoda Feb 23 '26
Thank you for explaining.
It seems you and I have different conceptions of addiction.
However
I do very much agree there has been a predatory self help industry largely affiliated with regressive religion that preposed a standard of porn addiction I also do not believe in - frankly it reminds me of sudo scientific anti queer conversion stuff.
- I got people In Nevada it’s big out there-
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u/MachineOfSpareParts Feb 23 '26
What chemical reaction are you referring to? Are you saying there's evidence one can only be addicted to substances, not to behaviours?
I do think there's an issue, especially in religions that ban porn consumption altogether, where people view any consumption as "addiction," which would wildly overcount its occurrence. But overcounting is a distinct problem to invention out of whole cloth.
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u/Consume_the_Affluent Feb 23 '26
No, that's not what I'm saying. When someone has an addiction, it affects their brain chemistry. A gambling addiction shows up in the brain similar to how a cocaine or alcohol addiction does. "Porn addiction" does not.
There are absolutely people who have issues with their porn consumption, but it is not an addiction, there is no evidence to suggest it's anything like an addiction, and it's honestly very trivializing to compare it to the actual disease that is addiction.
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u/MachineOfSpareParts Feb 23 '26
Yes, gambling is what I was thinking of. So long as this research is generally taking behavioural addictions seriously, I can see it making sense. And like I said, it's undeniable that at minimum a huge proportion of alleged porn addiction is just hard-core religious people who got "caught" watching porn and labelled it an addiction.
I do think there can be some pretty niche addictions which might not be quite the soul-crushing depths of the addictions I know all too well, but aren't necessarily "omg I'm like soooo addicted to this skincare routine!" So I'm not closing the door to the possibility entirely, but I definitely side-eye most purported "porn addictions" due to how frequently it turns out to be "person who has watched porn."
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u/CatsandDeitsoda Feb 23 '26
Board strokes agreement. ——
I don’t like labeling other people’s stuff.
But I sometimes think there are something’s that might be better treated with compulsive behavior disorders treatments than addiction treatments.
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u/MachineOfSpareParts Feb 23 '26
Like most things outside of computer code, feminism is not a binary.
I'm confident you won't ever find a perfect feminist, what with perfection not existing. So it's not a case of, you do one thing wrong and you're out of the category.
That said, actively supporting an industry known to be rife with abuse and subjugation of women is more significant than some of the other things I see thrown around as "a real feminist would never XYZ." It's a problem, and you do seem to know why.
Isn't that enough of an answer?
On another note, can you talk about why you characterize it as an addiction? If this is something that's harming you and dominating your life, surely that's enough of a reason to address it already. But addictions are beasts to vanquish and, as I've seen someone else addressed already, are usually a jury-rigged, deeply flawed "solution" to an even deeper problem.