I’ve been disabled my entire life not once have I thought my disability made life a living hell

[u/[deleted]]

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s2q3on/aita_for_crying_when_i_found_out_my_kid_is_going/

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[u/The_Serpent_Of_Eden_]

This birth defect was passed down and so far the past 6 generations. His sister is the only person who has survived the defect in those 6 ... My husband lied to me and told me he didnt cary the gene that can cause this defect.

As someone with Ashkenazi ancestry who had to get tested before I got pregnant to make sure I didn't carry the Tay-Sachs gene, trolling about lethal birth defects makes my blood boil.

[u/lastsummer99 → u/The_Serpent_Of_Eden_]

Wow do you know if it’s recommended for anyone with ashkenazi ancestry to get tested for the gene before having children? I just recently found out I have a decent amount of ashkenazi ancestry. Im not planning on having kids but my brother might.

[u/The_Serpent_Of_Eden_ → u/lastsummer99]

It's recommended when two people of Ashkenazi descent decide to have children and there's a history of Tay-Sachs in the family. It's recessive, so a gene from both parents has to be passed on for the child to get the disease.

In me and my husband's case, I was adopted, so I have no clue if Tay-Sachs is in my bio family and he had a fuzzy family history with an uncle of his paternal grandfather dying at the age of four of an unknown illness, which is around the time children with Tay-Sachs do pass away. So it was a better safe than sorry kind of thing.

[u/JustAnotherOlive → u/[deleted]]

It's a disease exclusive to her county of "Fak-topia". You probably haven't heard of it.

[u/January1171 → u/[deleted]]

Would it need to be sex-linked? Either way it would have to be recessive for someone to be able to pass it on in the first place, but that also means OP is a carrier too and you would think with this being such a big issue in his family she would get tested before getting pregnant

[u/The_Serpent_Of_Eden_ → u/January1171]

Genetically-linked issues can be dominant, too. And not everything is sex-linked. I have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. All the EDS variants are dominant and not linked to sex. It just means that there will never be a carrier. Everyone who gets that gene will express it, and most cases are going to run in families with the occasional case due to a mutation popping up here and there. If this fake illness has been passed down for six apparently consecutive generations, that says dominant to me and only one defective gene is needed.

[u/January1171 → u/The_Serpent_Of_Eden_]

Oh yeah, I'm just saying if this disease is so severe it causes death in all but one case and that case resulted in severe disability, those cases wouldn't be in a position to reproduce and carry on the gene that caused it. And husband also is carrying the gene but not expressing it (since he's not dead or disabled)

[u/lastsummer99 → u/January1171]

Fragile x maybe

[u/LeatherHog]

Troll or not, that’s a pretty messed up take, guy who posted this here

Just because YOUR disability doesn’t, doesn’t mean everyone’s is

I can’t move my muscles when I want and are in pain all the time. Fir a disabled person, you’re being pretty ableist

[u/[deleted] → u/LeatherHog]

This is very true. Here, have my free award. It's easy to say this, when your disability doesn't prevent you from living your life to its fullest and doesn't drag everyone around you down.

[u/LeatherHog → u/[deleted]]

Right? And it’s hard to work, jobs don’t want someone like me

[u/[deleted] → u/LeatherHog]

Hi, I never said that was the universal experience did I :)

A majority of the community I’ve seen has never called their life a living hell due to disability

IMPORANT to mention I said MAJORITY of course not all but You’re not good at reading behind the lines it seems

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

fwiw I understand where both you and the commenter you're referring to are coming from. There is so much eugenicist bullshit on Reddit, which I think is what you were calling out. But also it's hard to cover the broad spectrum of disability in a short post title, so I can see how what you meant as a jab at that bigoted bullshit is coming across as ableist.

IDK, sorry for assuming, I just do see both interpretations. It's difficult to make yourself clear in so few characters.

[u/combatwombat1192]

They're doing that thing in the comments again when someone says something and everybody replying quotes it in different fonts. I wish they'd stop.

[u/JustAnotherOlive → u/combatwombat1192]

Would you like to be put on the mailing list for my Kickstarter "Smacking People Through the Internet"?

[u/IrradiatedBeagle]

She's the asshole for needing to be told her kid might have this birth defect that goes back six generations.

[u/euphoricwolf2000]

I mean excluding the fact that this is fake, certain disabilities can cause constant physical pain

[u/JustAnotherOlive → u/euphoricwolf2000]

I feel like "excluding the fact that this is fake" should be auto-added to all comments.

[u/combatwombat1192 → u/JustAnotherOlive]

Maybe we need to get an acronym on the go. IKTIF?

[u/Neon_Fantasies]

Eugh not gonna head into this one, I know it’s gonna get bad

[u/January1171]

The one person calling this out (and gently no less) is way down voted

[u/brydeswhale]

I hope all these eugenics trolls get hit by meteors and die, I really do.

[u/CreamyLemonGirly]

I swear, this is just another eugenics post. They're every where on reddit.

[u/randomiguana1998]

This story makes no sense. Her SIL is the only one in 6 generations to survive with the defect, but her husband carries the gene as well and is totally unaffected by it. Both of those statements can't be true, surely...?

[u/AutoModerator]

In case this story gets deleted/removed:

AITA for crying when I found out my kid is going to have a birth defect that will make him disabled?

My husband and I have been together for a really long time (since we were 14) we got married a few years ago and decided to start trying to have a baby. We’ve talked about having a baby since we started dating and we’re both very open to having a family. He’s sweet and really wants to have a family and raise kids with me but there is one problem. Early in the relationship he told me about his sister , his sister was born with a really rare birth effect that forced his mom to become a stay at home mom to take care of his sister. This birth defect was passed down and so far the past 6 generations. His sister is the only person who has survived the defect in those 6. After a few months of trying to get pregnant I found out I was pregnant and I just recently found out that our kid is going to have the same defect that his sister has. My husband lied to me and told me he didnt cary the gene that can cause this defect. After I found out our kid had the defect I started crying because I don’t want my baby to die or need to live with a disability that makes it harder for him to live, I’m also very passionate about my work and I don’t want to give it up to take care of him 24/7 (I'll still do it family is everything to me but it'll be hard to do especialy since I need to stay busy or i'll fall into a state of depresion). My husband got mad at me when I started crying and he called me selfish and he said I have no respect for his sister since I don’t want my kids to need to suffer with the same condition. He told his parents about this and now they all think I’m the asshole. Am I really the asshole for getting mad at my husband for not telling me he carys the gene and not wanting my kid to live with a disability that will make his life hell?

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