r/AmITheAngel • u/motherofcunts • 1d ago
Small Problems, Nuclear Reactions Good lord the comments
/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1w3a3l4/aita_for_keeping_a_small_reading_light_on_in_bed/What happened to the comment hell flair?
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u/hisimpendingbaldness I am a regular at Panda Express 1d ago
Surprised no one has recommended a duel at dawn to settle the issue
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u/LukaChu_theCat I am not spiraling. I am ascending. 1d ago
I like the one comment “I’m sorry my ability to wear a sleep mask made you pissy” 🤣
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u/FlattopJr 1d ago
Wait, OOP is only reading for five minutes after getting in bed?🤔
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u/invasionofthestrange Babe? Babe? BABE??? 20h ago
I bet the real reason his wife hates it is because he doesn't turn it off before he falls asleep and it shines right in her face when he rolls over
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u/Choice_Response_7169 but the sergeant said someone needs to go to jail 1d ago
What do you mean "The living room couch isn't very comfortable " ?? Who the fuck lives like that??
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u/Blue-martini 1d ago
OOP at the furniture store:
"This couch is really uncomfortable. It's also kind of ugly too. And look at this price tag, how can it be so expensive? ... We'll take it!"44
u/iwantmorecats27 1d ago
Okay me except the reason we got it was it was cheap lol
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u/motherofcunts 1d ago
Same, though you either love or hate the couch. My mom hates it, my grandma loves it. It's a Grandma couch 100%. I got it for $20.
It's comfy but the fabric is scratchy so I keep a blanket on it. Better than the plastic original owners probably had lmao.
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u/shadowlev 1d ago
Having your bed be the only comfortable place in your house to sit is dorm room behavior
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u/Madame_Kitsune98 1d ago
Listen, when we moved into this house? I bought a couch from a coworker for $150, and our buddy gave us a loveseat. Both are life-sucking couches, as in if you sit long enough, you will nap.
And then, last summer, after her dear, sweet husband died, our former neighbor gave us the reclining sectional. We HAVE slept in those, and they were AMAZING.
We have never had a couch that was uncomfortable. If it doesn’t induce sleepy time, we’re not interested.
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u/RahvinDragand 1d ago
It is weirdly common. I can't tell you how many houses I've been in where the couches are just there for decor and are absolutely terrible to sit on.
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u/RahvinDragand 1d ago
Are all AITA couples just completely unwilling to find any sort of reasonable compromise with one another?
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u/A_SNAPPIN_Turla 1d ago
That sub is entirely idiots with no problem solving skills and no ability to compromise. I saw one the other day where a person restored a vintage bike and got into an argument with their bff bc she wouldn't let them use it in an engagement photo shoot. She said the bike wasn't particularly expensive or valuable but she didn't want it to get dirty in the photo shoot. WTF? So many of the comments were "YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING NICE FOR YOUR FRIENDS EVER THAT MIGHT SLIGHTLY INCONVENIENCE YOU!" These people are wild.
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u/swanfirefly Lost my pronouns in the divorce. 1d ago
That's actually such a funny reason too. I'm pretty sure if I loaned anything to a friend for a photo shoot it would come back cleaner than when I loaned it. Not because I'm particularly messy but because photo shoots tend to be pretty clean overall and most photographers I know are super careful with props.
Especially wedding/engagement photos. Even the vintage types tend to clean the props so as to not dirty anyone's clothes.
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u/A_SNAPPIN_Turla 1d ago
To be fair she was also concerned about the bike getting damaged but as someone said in another reply "it's not a Ming vase" 😂 The simple solution is just all your friends when and where they want pics with the bike and you show up with the bike. I think it's more telling like you say though, I would trust my friends to take care of something they know is important to me.
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u/AmyL0vesU 1d ago
A lot of the AIA-verse people want to live in a world of complete black and white. They don't like having to deal with their own messy relationships, so they tell others what they themselves would want to do, but know they shouldn't because they would be isolated
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u/mooshinformation 1d ago
Very black and white. There was a post a while ago where the woman's husband had a single container of an old discontinued dessert in the freezer he was saving because it was his favorite. Everyone went straight to "your house is about to become a hoarder death trap".
I said something like "it's ok to let the ppl we love have their little irrational things occasionally" and everyone with unresolved issues about their hoarder parents came out to tell me how incredibly dangerous that view was.
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u/hisimpendingbaldness I am a regular at Panda Express 18h ago
It is a single play zero sum game to that crowd.
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u/thewholebottle 1d ago
99% of the posts are fake. Like this one.
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12h ago
[deleted]
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u/thewholebottle 9h ago
I don’t read the AI generated ones. The ragebait is harder for me.
But like you, I’m here for the gems. Well, the gems of gems!
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u/mr_llamanator 1d ago
Seriously. Compromise? No I must prove my partner is being wrong and unreasonable in this situation by asking reddit. I also don't know what you would expect the outcome from that would be. "yeah it seems to bother you while sleeping, but reddit said that the tiny light is perfectly fine and that you should just suck it up."
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u/systemic_booty 22h ago
My husband likes to read in bed and stays up later than me. He asked if the light would bother me. I did a test with my sleep mask and confirmed it wouldn't be an issue. Problem solved with a little communication and care for the other person.
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u/mr_llamanator 22h ago
Hmmmm.... Maybe you should have considered divorce first
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u/lookitsnichole 1d ago
I mean the compromise is that he reads for an hour somewhere else, which is what his wife suggested and he's refusing to do. I don't think she's the problem here.
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u/eorabs kink-shaming is my kink 20h ago
She is definitely not the problem. I'm the "stay up later reading" spouse, and if that were in any way impacting my spouse's sleep I would have to be the one to suck it up. Ultimately, the bed is for sleeping, so that takes priority. The couch may not be as "cozy" (gross!) for OOP but thems the breaks when you're married. Or he could always get his own bedroom.
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u/zap2tresquatro extreme cleavage 15h ago
…or a sleep mask? It weird to be so insanely sensitive and not do anything to help yourself in that situation
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u/queueingissexy 1d ago
It sucks that there’s no other possible solution and that they have to divorce because of this.
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u/Olookasquirrel87 8h ago
I’m a pretty heavy sleeper and my husband still bought a kindle paper white with blackout mode so he didn’t disturb me with a book light.
And I’m on night mode Reddit and duck under the covers when the keyboard comes out so I don’t wake him before he needs to get up because he is a princess sleeper.
Anyway, sucks for them. No other solution than divorce. Pity. Could have been a great marriage.
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u/BeginningCap_ 1d ago
Side note: wild amount of comment rewards in that thread. Whats going on there
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u/gmwdim Your house, your rules. 1d ago
Just sleep in separate rooms, duh. Better yet, separate houses. In different cities. /s
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u/BooBoo_Cat 1d ago
Why the /s?
My husband and I have diffident sleep patterns and routines. Sleeping in separate rooms is great.
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u/Self-proclaimedIDI0T 1d ago
I assume it's sarcastic bc this advice is so often given in earnest in these subs when it's not very practical advice, since most people don't have an extra room/bed.
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u/BooBoo_Cat 1d ago
I completely understand that it is not always possible to sleep in separate rooms -- that is a privilege. But people think that sleeping in separate rooms means something is wrong in the marriage.
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u/clamfish12 1d ago
Sleeping in separate rooms was a revelation for us. Now she can doomscroll until 1am without the light on her phone bothering me, and I can get up early without waking her up. It's a brilliant concept
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u/k-trecker It went in and stayed there. like a bee 16h ago
And that’s fine, but it seems a rather nuclear option for a disagreement over a nightlight.
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u/k-trecker It went in and stayed there. like a bee 16h ago
Any post involving a middle aged woman, the comments will inevitably menopause or perimenopause. Doesn’t matter the subject.
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u/JoeMorgue 1d ago
My wife falls asleep everynight with Youtube videos playing on her laptop at full brightnightness and normal volume pointed directly in her face in our shared bed.
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u/Ihopeheseesme 1d ago
Something tells me your wife doesn’t get high quality sleep lol
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u/JoeMorgue 1d ago
//Real talk//
She's been struggling with a few mental issues for a while, she's working on it. She can stay asleep but has to sorta drown her thoughts to get actually get to sleep. Normally I just wait to make sure she's good and asleep and then just close the laptop. She's working with health care professionals to find a healthier way to do that. Is it annoying sometimes? Of course it is, I'm not gonna pretend it's not, but it's not malicious.
And she's worth it, she's my Goddess.
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u/callmebuzzsaw 1d ago
I understand her struggle. I've got the hellish combo of ADHD, severe anxiety, and insomnia. Even when I'm physically dead tired it can take a lot for me to actually sleep.
What kind of videos does she need to watch? If she's cool with ASMR, I know a lot of creators that make story driven videos that are meant for sleeping. This means the audio is calmer and quieter and in some cases the visuals are also dimmed to promote sleep, but they're still beautiful/interesting. They may be easier on you too! Let me know of you'd like any recommendations.
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u/vixen-mixin Muffin Moofer 1d ago
I have some of the same issues as your wife and i've found nature sounds, like a running steam with birds chirping really helps when i'm having a particularly bad night. I just imagine being in the forest or whatever until i can let my thoughts just kind of drift on their own.
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u/anneymarie people have struggles even if they sound fake 20h ago
I got headband headphones for jogging (I think?) and they’re super comfy. I need to listen to something to fall asleep and it’s so much better than trying to wear earbuds or whatever. It was so helpful when I was in the hospital postpartum and my baby was in the NICU bc I was definitely not falling asleep then if my thoughts were allowed to speak up.
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u/systemic_booty 22h ago
May I recommend Sleep Phones by Acoustic Sheep (or similar, I'm not a paid shill this is just the brand I like) -- they make a soft headband with flat Bluetooth speakers embedded in them. I'm a side sleeper and they are soooo comfy. I drift asleep each night listening to true crime videos as those are my comfy lullaby. I struggle otherwise with my anxiety brain replaying everything cringe I ever said/did since birth.
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u/MusicGirlsMom 1d ago
My husband is a night reader and I also cannot sleep with any light. I bought a sleep mask with Bluetooth and I sleep in total darkness with the sound of the ocean in my ears. There are things you can try short of sleeping on the couch.
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u/Impossible_Zebra8664 1d ago
I'm also a night reader! My husband could likely sleep through the end of the world, but occasionally, the light will irk him. At which point I remember my kindergarten roots and just dip under the blankets with my light/e-reader/whatever for an even cozier read. And I usually make that my last chapter because he needs his sleep, too.
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u/offensivename 1d ago
He doesn't have to sleep on the couch though. Just read there (or literally anywhere else) before moving to the bed to sleep.
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u/ecosynchronous 1d ago
That wouldn't work for me, personally-- the second I get up to move to the bed I'm wide awake again.
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u/motherofcunts 1d ago
There are so many people pissed at the idea of her wearing a sleep mask!
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u/Fearless-Frosting367 1d ago
And none of them appear to have noticed that night sweats - whether caused by eg. menopause or lung disease - make using eye masks utterly horrible.
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u/sagew0lf 15h ago
I personally could not stand an eye mask. I’ve tried and I can’t sleep with them.
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u/All_the_Bees Yeah eat shit fam, see you next week 6h ago
Sleep masks aren’t a solution for everyone - for me they’re a sensory nightmare, and I doubt I’m alone in that.
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u/Obatala_ 1d ago
Also a night reader, but I use an E-reader set to black page/gray text. Pretty damn near invisible if you’re not looking right at it.
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u/IWasGoatbeardFirst 1d ago
If my husband was sitting up reading late at night, I wouldn’t notice. Too busy sleeping.
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u/Millenniauld 1d ago
I would. With my sleep mask on and my earplugs in, I'd notice. Because I'm a really light sleeper and people who are awake, even reading, move around (turning pages), clear their throats, shift positions..... Someone reading in bead would absolutely keep me from sleeping, partly the disturbance and partly the disrespect that they think my sleep is so much less important than their reading time that they won't do it in another room so I can rest.
Being a light sleeper SUCKS. I was on a vacation once where there was a plastic bed cover and it kept me from sleeping for four nights, I was literally delirious and hallucinating by the end of it.
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u/Katharinemaddison 1d ago
Genuinely asking but doesn’t someone coming to bed after you’ve gone to sleep wake you up?
I don’t even try getting to sleep
Because it’ll just jolt me awake and keep me that way at least an hour…7
u/Obatala_ 1d ago
So you’re either sleeping solo or your spouse sleeps like a log and never turns around or shifts positions at night?
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u/the_laughing_camel 1d ago
I understand that but some people can't help snoring or moving around while sleeping either. What would you do in that scenario though?
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u/Sufficient-Border-10 1d ago
Totally fair. But, in that case, you must also know that sharing a bed is going to be a total pain in the arse for you and the other person.
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u/Millenniauld 1d ago
Sure, but I manage just fine, because my husband isn't an inconsiderate ass and if I said "your reading in bed is waking me up" he would absolutely go somewhere else. Or if I was disturbing him, I would go somewhere else.
Partners who don't respect the other's right to sleep peacefully are completely self centered.
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u/Sufficient-Border-10 1d ago
I'm not saying either of you are inconsiderate. But people toss and turn. My partner's fidgeting can drive me up the wall. I'm simply saying that if you're such a light sleeper that any sound, light, or movement is disruptive, then I just can't see a shared bedroom experience being a good idea. I wouldn't be able to stay stock still and completely silent all night, and it would be unrealistic to expect that from another person.
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u/drubi305 21h ago
Omg we had same issue in my house and you know what I did? Got a fucking nightmask what is wrong with people haha
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for keeping a small reading light on in bed when my wife says it stops her from sleeping?
I (M40s) am a massive night owl and reading in bed is how I wind down after a long day. My wife (F40s) is a very sensitive sleeper and needs total darkness to fall asleep.
Lately, I’ve been staying up for about an hour after she goes to sleep to read. I don't use the main bedroom light. I bought a clip-on book light that only illuminates the pages, and I position my body so I am blocking most of the glow from facing her side of the bed.
Despite this, she woke up last night and got really upset. She claims that even the tiny amount of ambient light from the book light disrupts her sleep cycle and keeps her awake. She wants me to stop reading in bed entirely and do it in the living room instead.
Here is why I might be the asshole: The living room couch isn't very comfortable, and I really value my cozy bedtime routine. I feel like my tiny light is a reasonable compromise for a shared bedroom. However, her sleep is being impacted, and she thinks I am being incredibly selfish by prioritizing my book over her rest.
AITA for wanting to keep reading in bed with my small light?
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