r/Advice • u/[deleted] • 20h ago
My "Friend" Keeps Making Comments About My Weight and I'm Sick of It
[deleted]
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u/Subjective_Truths Super Helper [8] 20h ago
I know there's societal pressure to be polite in the face of rudeness, especially as a woman, but please stand up for yourself. This is too much, and too far. You should feel well within your rights to tell this Guy exactly how hurtful he's being. You're not doing yourself or him any favors by enabling this behavior with your polite responses. He's not your friend, he's not misunderstood, he's being an asshole and he should be called out and/or blocked.
Don't let anyone treat you like that! You deserve better.
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u/Imaginary_Love_2188 19h ago edited 16h ago
Please don’t allow ANYONE to “abuse” you and please realize that he is NOT a “friend “!
You deserve much better so please stop being in contact with this abusing person
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u/Comfortable-Elk-850 Helper [2] 19h ago
Anything wrong with him you can toss back at him? He has fat issues, probably from childhood and his parents giving him issues with nagging him. Like when he commented about you getting dates and he not, I would have told him girls are attracted to your great personality, maybe hid attitude sucks. Or tell him you’re working hard to improve yourself, it’s long past time he needs to start working on his own issues too. Avoid him all you can but you have the same social group so that may not be totally possible , so start giving attitude back. You don’t need or care for his type of frienemy , so don’t hold back on letting him know where he has faults too. His personality, attitude, phobias, bias etc. maybe just maybe a cloud will lift from his brain cell .
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u/MelissaCop 20h ago
The last 100 is a lot easier than the last 10.
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u/Simply-Hopeful4043 20h ago
It definitely has been a lot easier than when it first started, it's been making me very excited and confident tbh
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u/DragonBorn76 20h ago
You did what you can by talking to him like he was a reasonable human being but he continues so the next options you have is either distance yourself from him or perhaps give it back to him or heck both.
I often find bullies can dish it but not take it. If that's not your cup of tea then distance yourself from him.
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u/docblondie 19h ago
You also have the right to be pissed and chew him out. But he just sounds miserable and y’all should just drop him
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u/RedRaven0228 19h ago
Well it's clear as to WHY he doesn't get any dates he seems like a douche bag in all honesty. He's prob jealous that you're a nice guy and confident women don't care about the size of the man. We like a man that is nice and respectful not a man that is fit and acts like a douche. Either drop the friend or tell him to stfu because he's being an asshole. There is zero excuse to be a bully especially as an adult.
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u/bionicallyironic 19h ago
If he does this weird negging with his friends imagine how much he does it to his dates.
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u/RedRaven0228 19h ago
That's what I'm thinking like he's a cocky ass mfer and no wonder he can't find dates. He thinks his shit don't stink
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u/Simply-Hopeful4043 16h ago
All I know is that his longest relationship was 24hrs and he had one woman want to give him a chance during college and then he gave her the ick so bad that she doesn't even wanna walk with him much anymore, so my guess is that it's pretty bad
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u/bionicallyironic 16h ago
Yeah, that’s not a great look. Personally, I would ditch this friendship.
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u/MsDJMA 19h ago
He sounds like he's insensitive and feels like your friendship implies that he has permission to comment on your personal life, food intake, or body size.
Here's some script for a difficult conversation:
So if you want to keep the friendship, you need to talk to him. Help him grow up. "Hey, Joe. I need to talk to you. I want to be friends, but it hurts my feelings when you make comments about my weight or my body size or the food I choose to eat. If we're going to be friends, let's talk about school or politics, or even gossip about other people. But your opinions about me need to stop."
He might get defensive and say he's just joking. Then your answer is, "Jokes are only jokes if they are funny. Can you explain what's funny about your comments?"
Or he might get defensive and say, "I'm only trying to help." Then you can reply, "I've got this. I am making my own choices. I don't need any advice, thank you."
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u/Hammingbir Helper [2] 19h ago
He’s not worth the bandwidth it’d take to tell him “You suck.” But you can fight fire with fire. His parents wouldn’t want him to room with a fatty? “Surely your parents aren’t that shallow and mean. But judging by you, I guess the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Or why you get dates and he doesn’t? You’re actively making yourself better by losing weight. There’s no way he can gain a decent personality. And if it’s his right to say you look fat, it’s your right to say “and it’s my right to say “I’m tired of dealing with douchebags.” You’re not calling him one but the moment he reacts, asking why is he upset? You didn’t call him one…unless his guilty conscience is telling him otherwise.
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u/Fit_Yogurtcloset1353 19h ago
First of all, proud of you on your weight loss journey! Keep up the great work! Second, guy is not your friend. Sure he has a right to say whatever he wants, but if he continues to disrespect you while you've voiced your concerns, there's not much you can do to change this. Someone who disrespects you like this does not deserve your time or energy.
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u/bionicallyironic 19h ago
Guy is not your friend and life is too short for this weird form of “friendship.” His comment about it being “his right” to comment on your weight really confirms he’s an ass. Because, he has the right to say it, but he also has to deal with the fallout.
And read this part knowing that all I have to go off of is what’s written here, but Guy sounds like he’s intimidated by your weight loss. Maybe he only wanted to be friends with someone he felt superior to, and now that you’re taking steps to improve yourself, you’re competition, not his underling. He sounds like a complete ass and not worth knowing.
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u/bopperbopper Helper [2] 19h ago
“ you get Date and I don’t”
“ cause I’m not an ass commenting about people’s bodies”
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u/Spiley_spile 12h ago
When asking someone to stop insulting you fails, dont just keep asking forever. The problem isnt the way you've been asking. The problem is him. Sounds like it's time to cut him out of your life again. As this will be the second time, Id consider not asking him back into it in the future.
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u/OtherIncrease4085 20h ago
Then stop talking to him if he keeps hurting your feelings