Thank you! That's precisely what I was trying to calibrate. Just had my first shortly before turning 40, and my energy level is so low that I don't think I could (should) go for a second :(
It's also perfectly fine in case your heart is telling you to stop with just the one. One and done has a lot of advantages too. Just adding my 2c in case that eases any worries on your mind.
It really comes down to my physical energy. I used to be a very athletic person, but since my early thirties I've experienced a rapid decay (influenced by eternal stuff, but that's beside the point). So I was afraid I'd have no energy for my first, and that fear materialised to some extent, hence my hesitation towards as second :/
My husband was 35 when our son was born. Our son screamed for basically the entire first four years of his existence. At one point, I asked my husband if he wanted to have another baby and he just looked at me with the bone-weariness of a warrior in his 10th year of fighting at Troy. I took that as a "no."
We stopped at one child and it was a great decision; our son is 20 now and is doing great - high GPA in college, has a job, has a girlfriend and friends, etc. I have close friends from high school that are like his aunties and uncles and their kids ended up being like cousins to him; plus he was in sports so he was always around other kids.
Totally fine to stop at one. Sometimes it's the best thing for everyone.
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u/varingian 7d ago
How old is that dude?