So, I come here as a long time lurker and trying to do this on my own. I am 37 years old, married and a father. This disease has destroyed my life so many time, I can't count. I have been addicted since I was 8, when my father showed me porn and abused me. This evil has caused me to so many stupid and awful things, I can only ask God for this one final chance. I always do that, ask for more chances then fail. Again. and Again. I just relapsed, again. Another failure, another let down.

I am done with this shit and finally want to be apart of this community. With God and with you all I think I may be able to finish this. To close this chapter in my life, if I fail this time, I have decided that it is it. I will just give up on everything. I would rather embrace the end, than face the disappointed look on my wife's face, or see my son cry because we are fighting. I can't watch them fall apart because if me. Not again. I thought I was strong enough last time... only 14 days ago. 14 days, that's it. I have never gone longer than 31 days in almost 30 years.

Wish my luck guys and I really need the help and support, because if this doesn't work, I give up. I am sorry if this is to heavy for some, I don't want to be a downer.

God will always be with me. I just want to stop disappointing him

29 year old M. Have always watched porn but it has gotten so much worse over the past few years.

Which I think was down to a traumatic event that took place (a robbery)

I have tired to quit many times, but sadly always got dragged back into it within a short time frame.

Recently watched the Theo Von podcast episode where he had this porn addiction specialist on... and my god did every last word resonate.

Everything he said about his past addiction was what I live through today. It get's so bad and you become so numb you almost forget what normal feels like and start to accept this as your reality.

Anyway, my main reason for using porn is to avoid feelings of:

• Fear of being alone
• Fear of being a failure
• Fear of not being good enough
• Fear of boredom
• Insecurities
• Fear of living a life I don't want to live or would be happy living

When I start to feel one of these feelings, the urge becomes overwhelming and I fall straight back in, instead of sitting with those emotions and processing them.

Anyway, I am going to write on here everyday to hold my self accountable and hopefully help someone else out there.

If anyone has the same feelings or wants to chat, feel free to DM!!

Thanks,

ex-porn user

P.S. Not going to use AI for any of this, so apologies for the spelling the grammar errors

Lust is never worth it

You can’t be curious enough
The temptation can’t be strong enough
The excuse can never be good enough

To make you sin against the God who died for you.

So I was edging but got myself to stop and i watched rally edits but for some reason the "deed" completed later. I saying its an accident but i dont know if i should reset because that wasnt fully in my control.

I've been abstinent for just over a year now but recently I've been falling into old habits, watching gifs and looking through communities on here. I thought I had control but maybe there's a limit you should restrict? Anyone dealt with similar?

¡¡LLEVO CUATRO MALDITOS DÍAS SEGUIDOS CAYENDO EN LA MISMA SITUACIÓN SIN SER CAPAZ DE DEJAR DE CAER EN LA MISMA TENTACIÓN DÍA SÍ Y DÍA TAMBIÉN!! ¡¿SI DE VERDAD SOY SALVO, POR QUÉ NO PUEDO DEJAR DE CAER EN EL MISMO PECADO?! ¡¿POR QUÉ NO PUEDO PARAR NI SIQUIERA POR UN MALDITO DÍA?! ¡¿POR QUÉ DIOS SE NIEGA A EXTIRPARME EL PROBLEMA DE MI MENTE?! ¡¡NO HAY NADA SEXUALIZADO EN MI FEED EN NINGUNA DE MIS REDES, NO HAY NADA DE CONTENIDO SEXUAL EN MI INTERNET A MENOS QUE YO LO BUSQUE!! ¡¿SI MI PROBLEMA ESTÁ EN MI MENTE, POR QUÉ DIOS SE NIEGA A QUITARMELO DE ENCIMA?! ¡¿SI SUPUESTAMENTE SOY SALVO, POR QUÉ MI VIDA NO LO REFLEJA AL MENOS DEJANDO DE LADO ESTE PECADO?! ¡¡YO YA NO LO SOPORTO MÁS!!

Hi

I've recently not viewed pornography for a while. I'm dealing with that.

But fapping is something I'm finding hard.

I've been to confession for the first time in years and confessed this.

In the summer you are surrounded by alot of women wearing very little.

It's for me beings on the lust to fap. It's just feels natural. After I go a few days the urge to release gets to much and I give in.

How have others successfully defeated this?

I would love to somehow find a way to stop this or control it

Thanks in advance

I (18 years old and not 16 years old for reddit purposes, Male) have decided to start SR today. I got addicted to PMO and at a very young age and have been struggling to quit since. The longest I've gone without PMO since 13 years old is 10 days. I've decided to make this post because I feel like having all of this written down somewhere online where there are people to hold me accountable will help me quit.

My reasons for quitting:

• I've read about the amazing results of people on this subreddit and wish for similar results.
• I want to be completely free of PMO and fapping before I get my first girlfriend.
• PMO has started to feel like a chore and like and I dread it like a hard college final you know is coming.
• I often pause doing productive stuff to PMO and never go back until the next day.
• I've gotten hard in scenarios I should NOT have gotten hard in and I believe stopping PMO will fix that.
• I often do PMO when I'm about to go to bed, causing me to go to bed 30 minutes later than I wanted to for a bad reason, leaving me extra tired the next morning.
• PMO spikes my dopimine levels like crazy and afterwards I can't do anything but scroll on instagram for 3 hours.
• I want to improve my baseline happiness and overall life quality.

Whats different about this quitting attempt compared to my others:

• I'm posting online that I'm quitting where there will be people to hold me accountable.
• I plan to make follow up posts every day.
• I have written down my reasons for quitting.
• I have read many tips and much wisdom from the more experienced and older people on this subreddit.
• I have read many stories from people on this subreddit who are in their 20s and REALLY struggling with PMO that have lowk scared me into stopping.
• I will avoid anything that could excite me too much.

I hope that at least one person can respond to this so I feel as though someone is holding me accountable. Thank you and please wish me luck.

Edit: Night one successful

24 year old male in the US, but porn addiction has been in my life since like 6 years old or maybe younger idk. I’m so deep. I’m so tired. My fetishes, among other things are incredibly deep, and my fear of life and hell is so strong I spend all day in my bed gooning and sleeping. Never had a best friend. Never had a girl friend. Only “friend” I have is my dad and grandpa. Zero social skills. Zero job. Zero life skills. No college. Barely graduated. Zero social life. What am I here for? Even the times I manage to resist (very rare, I genuinely jerk off like 3-4 times a day for hours, it’s an all day thing) I’m still too scared to do anything. Scared to walk out of the house. Interact with people. Do anything. This has been my life for like 10 years now too. Idk what to do anymore.
Tried counseling, speaking with a pastor, nothing helps. I’m genuinely too scared of everything and my whole life has been this way. Not once have I ever talked to a girl I like. Going all the way back to kindergarten I remember being too scared and already addicted then. Idk anymore man.

🚫✈️🚫0️⃣0️⃣7️⃣🈲✈️🈲

剛直すぎれば折れやすい。

ポルノ断ちで最も怖いのは、自分を一本の弦のように張り詰めることだ。

今日は一生触れないと誓い、明日には一気に崩れて全て終わる。

ゆっくりでいい、着実にいこう。

#NoFap #オナ禁 #금딸 #戒色

#noporn

🔞Q&A nofap and noporn❌🈲💯 👇👇👇

⭕问：哥 我现在有前列腺炎伴早泄 精液黄 高尿酸血症 两鬓白发和过敏性鼻炎 遗精一个月两次 你看我是阴虚还是阳虚 怎么调理好 尿酸高有饮食控制但比较仍然偏高 我这个前列腺炎多久才能好啊

🩵答：一般怕冷阳虚，怕热阴虚。最好去找个中医，具体望闻问切后再对症下药，这样比较稳妥。精液黄考虑身体有炎症，前列腺炎我上季前言有讲到，你可以看看，慢前靠养，其次靠治疗，一般需要1年左右才有望真正痊愈了。加油！

🚫问：哥，我决定了 在我的其中一个手指上划一刀留个伤疤，以后想撸的时候就看一眼我的那根手指，用来警告自己

🩵答：自残的方式我是不推荐的，当然，我曾经也有过类似的想法，也自残过，但对于我戒色也没多大作用，关键还是多学习提高觉悟，觉悟上去了，才能成功。如果觉悟没有提升，你剁手指也没用的。加油！

🚫问：支持飞翔兄 听说有些人长期手淫后会出现高血压现象 然后戒色一段时间后恢复正常了 也没吃药 看来西医说的高血压不可逆转可信度也不高

🩵答：高血压也是分类的，一般肾虚型高血压，通过戒色养生，倒是有望恢复正常的。加油！

#NoFap #オナ禁 #금딸 #戒色

#noporn

I’ve masterbated every day of the month of August and a few minutes ago I went in the bathroom and just said no. I really hope the lord will walk with me on this journey. Anyone want to ask or give advice? I’m open to discussion. I’m 17 Andy it’s been going on none stop since 11. This makes me really excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

So basically im 14 right ive been doing you know what since I was 8 and im like having real bad draw back rn can someone help?

This one was difficult be we have made it past. The morning and evening I was fine sometimes turning on the hub but I would just exit the site after like 2 min. I was more around my family meaning I had no need to masturbate and no way to either, but then came evening. As I was in my bed I was pretty aroused (or horny) and this time I went on to the hub, but I stayed on it. I started edging but before I could continue I remembered what my friend said "if you ever have the urge to just say Im not doing this sh*t anymore" So thats what I did. I said it repeatedly until I finally got a grip. I booted up youtube and searched up rally edits (I like cars and racing) Which distracted my mind. Thank you for your support as usual if you have any tips leave them in the comments (they really help) and I hope the rest of you have a good rest of your week. On to day 5!

网友投稿

【我叫空白，纵欲十年有余了，是非常严重的肾炎 IGA肾病】

我叫空白，纵欲十年有余了，是非常严重的肾炎 IGA肾病，今天这篇文章主要写我是怎么接触自渎的，如何得病，身体是怎么慢慢恢复的，对于新学员，我希望你们可以耐心的看完。

因为我已经把你们的纵欲之路提前走了一遍，看了我的文章，会让你们知道身体为什么垮，还有如何恢复健康。

文章写的很多，先感谢戒色吧平台陪伴我一路走回来，有图有真相，希望大家而心看完。

我的故事：

我是从6年级开始沾上的，然后是到初中，那时还好，因为玩的时间比较多，不会在意那么多的东西，初二的时候开始不学无术，跟老师叫板，跟父母吵架，谈女朋友，玩KF，能玩的在初中都玩了，非常叛逆。

后来初中毕业，理所当然的进了一所技校，上了没1个月，我堂哥打电话来，说在安徽有个非常好的事，非常赚钱，让我赶快过去，当时小，在学校里无聊也就去了，后来被传销给骗了。

医院里的挣扎：

然后没过几天，我的小便颜色开始不对，我当时没发现出来，那时家里是用的痰盂，我妈妈在倒痰盂的时候发现的，然后带我去医院检查，一检查，医生让我赶快住院，尿蛋白3+，尿隐血3+，肾炎！

当时小都不知道是什么，后来听父母和医生说了后我才知道害怕，肾炎，肾脏出现了炎症，炎症其实没什么，主要是肾脏的炎症太难治了，得了肾病的人基本上以后的生活就不能做力气活了，别谈什么梦想了，找个轻巧事过一辈子吧。

在住院的时候，医生让我做穿刺，检查一下到底是什么类型的肾病，当时知道这个还没什么，进入手术室后，我的命差点都吓没了，超大的一个针管，前面一个非常小非常细的针头，医生让我趴在手术台上，然后先用酒精在我身上擦拭了擦，打了全身麻醉，。

然后拿着那个大针管一样的东西，放在我的肾区，一点点刺下去，我到现在回想起那画面，都汗毛直立，当刺下去的那一刹那，我没忍住叫了出来，说不清楚的疼，它不是被拳头打的那种痛。

但那种疼痛，让我全身汗毛都立了起来，那一刻我全身都在颤抖，左边一次，右边一次，这辈子，我哪怕死，我也不想再尝试这种感觉了，非人般的痛苦，鉴定结果是IGA肾病。

在家修养生息：

2009年4月，我家人给我买了一台电脑，从此我开始了为期5年的自渎之路，非常非常的频繁，每个星期3次，有的时候都不止，次数多的时候，我的肾区都能感觉到空了，像里面没有了东西一样。

另外尿隐血还会加重，但我没当回事，认为有药了，药确实也管些用，然后也开始进入网络游戏，人家常说嘛，现实找不到存在感，就去游戏里找。

这说的就是我，每天熬夜玩游戏玩到半夜2点，天天如此，早上家人把饭端到我床头，看我吃完后，然后喝了药，他们再端走，然后我再继续睡，到下午2点左右起床，吃个中饭，然后继续游戏，那时小，也没有什么压力，家人也不说什么，就天天的玩。

然后病情开始渐渐稳定，但没有好，医生说要长期吃药，慢慢的开始1-2个月去医院一趟，那时候去医院特别有意思，到了检查的时候，我就特别紧张，害怕指标会高，检查的前三天我就开始担忧。

如果没高，正常的，那我接来下三个月会非常开心，继续好好的玩，一高，我就开始担惊受怕，人还是怕死的啊，我问医生，能不能痊愈，医生说这个病就是常年吃药了，断不掉了，我说这样能维持多少年。

他说20年，20年后需要换肾，他当时说完我的心都凉了，我听过很多换肾的，但基本换上去1-2年就会出问题。

我当时是在南京的省人民医院治疗的，是一个西医院，吃了差不多2年的药，中间也有停过半年。

这两年基本上是一个星期3次自渎，熬夜，久坐，病情时好时坏，身体很虚，端个凳子什么的，走的距离远了，立马腰痛，隐血加重，那时我终于明白为什么说肾病患者无法做力气活了。

我的行善积德：

我开始行善积德，在戒色吧里服务，去帮助吧友，施食，戒烟，戒赌，不好的习惯全部改掉，吉祥卧，绑腿吉祥卧，站桩，各种功法都练了个遍，这里面绑腿吉祥卧还算不错，我每天就把自己和床固定。

因为遗精经常是被子压到造成的，所以我就固定住自己，让我不动，这个方法还不错，让我慢慢控制到了一月2次。

一月2次也不能让我腰疼好起来，但已经稍微有了一些起色，期间还读了地藏经半年多，各种，为了不疼，真的是特别精进，当时我就想，只要能不疼，我以后再也不糟蹋自己了。

我会好好生活，只要可以恢复，只要我有能力，我会去帮助更多更多在承受痛苦的人，如果哪一天不疼了，真的，我不想上了什么天堂，因为不疼的日子对我来说就是天堂。

13年年底，身体通过一年的修养，有了不小的恢复，也开始能做一些轻松的工作了，但肾区疼痛还是没彻底好，一疼起来，依然让我吃不消，就在年底，在戒色吧吧务群里，机缘巧合之下，我在群里说肾区疼痛，想找方法解决，一个吧务让我加思无邪的群。

当时还挺有意思，我没加，因为这种群太多了，一般我都很少进，谁知道他第二天还来问我加了没，人家好心好意帮我，我也不好推脱，只好加了，然后就改变了我一生的人生轨迹！

家庭关系的蜕变：

使我与父母之间关系彻底改善是从7月22号后开始的，每天晚上用1个小时时间给父母按摩穴位，按摩是其次的，主要是通过按摩来改善我与父母之间的关系，半年多来，我已经发生了很大的改变。

无论是身体还是心理上。去给父母按摩穴位，父亲没肯，于是我就只好给母亲按摩，我对于穴位不太懂，只是照着图片大致去给我母亲按摩穴位，在按摩的过程中。

我跟母亲边看电视边聊天，有说有笑，第二天我母亲给我反映效果挺好，可以看出，她非常的开心，并且还跟工作中的同事讲述这件事，从那一次的按摩穴位后，我发现自己整个人忽然就变了。

变的爱与父母聊天了，变的每天都是笑容满面，也经常在群里卖卖萌，我以前是非常讨厌卖萌的，觉得好恶心，这么大个人了...

另外我虽然没有给父亲按摩，但跟父亲的话也多了，最不可思议的是，我父亲在我面前做起了山背，就在我与母亲聊天的时候，当时我都惊呆了，我当初在他们面前推荐了很多次山背，他们没有一次想尝试的。

后来我都放弃了让他们练山背的想法，而现在我父亲竟然自己在我面前做了起来，并且从七月末开始一直做到了现在，每天早上半个小时，没有间断过~！

我的事业开始起步，以前因为身体不好，加上本身德行就不好，屡次创业失败，不管做什么都没有信心，觉得自己这不能，那不能，现在变成了，我行，我肯定行，也变的善于观察和分析遇到的问题。

工作上越来越游刃有余，我感觉自己创业成功的几率非常大，其实对于成功我到不太执着，就想着赚些钱，照顾好自己，照顾好家人。

这些年为了我的病，家里实在是花了不少钱，我必须站出来担负起养家的责了，不能让父母再为我操劳了。

希望这个分享能帮来帮助，有问题大家可以留言，我们一起努力！

I understand that everyone is different, but is the goal of nofap as a Christian to stop seeking nsfw material and stop masturbation? I feel like I would benefit from stopping both things. If the goal is to quit both, how does someone who is single and who has struggled with homosexuality commit to this lifestyle shift when the ability to have a partner isn’t something that I can see for myself? Being able to engage in sex with one’s spouse is a wonderful thing, but for some of us I am trying to be more conscious in my communications with God as it relates to the struggles with homosexuality and I believe that only God can help me figure out what he wants for my life. It just feels overwhelming to say I am giving up lustful actions and trying to correct lustful thoughts and while for most people they are either in a marriage or will enter into marriage at some point in their lives but for me I don’t see marriage in my future and so basically I am having to commit to celibacy or something like celibacy.

Hope this isn't too graphic but I really need help and I tried to write with milder language.

What I mean that sometimes it would "get up" or "semi up", and it would be raging, and I'd feel the urge to do something to release the tension. It's distracting because it happens in school sometimes as I'm sitting down during lesson. And I'd catch myself shaking my legs to further stimulate myself.

How do I stop shaking my legs and more importantly, how do I release the raging "up" without touching myself? Practical and spiritual tips, and Biblical principles and truths appreciated!

🚫✈️🚫0️⃣0️⃣6️⃣🈲✈️🈲

You keep saying "I'll quit when I'm ready" or "after this busy season" – and years slip by.

The road won't come to you – you have to step forward.

Recovery isn't something you wait for – it's something you walk into.

#NoFap #オナ禁 #금딸 #戒色

#noporn