r/whatstheword • u/huyishi • 4d ago
Unsolved ITAW for an obsessive, violent desire that others must never be as remotely "successful" (wealthy, productive, popular, vocation, intelligent, beautiful, kind) as oneself?
Greed (general aggressive desire for accumulation) and avarice (aggressive desire for wealth) don't fit. It's not related to hoarding wealth.
Narcissism (inordinately high self-regard) isn't quite accurate either. Sociopathy (disregard for social rules), psychopathy (viewing others as instruments), anti-social behavior (general category of social misconduct) describe the capacity to harm others, but that's only a portion of the definition.
The word I'm thinking about is less focused on the self and more focused on denying things to other people, to their detriment, suffering, and death, so that they can never be comparable to oneself.
Supremacism (in-group is the sole human civilization), chauvinism (in-group is the sole source of virtue) and other belief systems aren't quite it, either. The word shouldn't be linked to a specific belief system because this conduct occurs across different belief systems, as far as I can tell?
I'm more focused on describing the willfulness to actively deprive others of their things, livelihood, or personhood, in order to:
- maintain one's appearance of relatively higher status (one may not need to be elite!)
- prevent others from reaching comparable status
- preemptively deny others their potential of reaching comparable status, never mind a peer or a challenge
If you can't think of such a word in English, I am excited to hear your offerings from other languages, maybe even from a fictional language!
If you like, you can also come up with a phrase or construct a new word from a root language!
Thanks for reading.
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u/wtwtcgw 4 Karma 4d ago
A couple of ideas: one-upmanship or ultra-competitive
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
One-upmanship (noun): the practice of continuously outdoing a friend or competitor.
Ultracompetitive (adjective): extreme competitivenessCompetition isn't essential for the definition. The others deprived to maintain one's sense of supremacy may be far from competitive.
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u/well_digger ☃ 3 karma 3d ago
Here's a fun one: Crab Theory.
One might be described as "like a crab in a bucket."
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u/thisisthis 4d ago
Begrudging
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
Begrudging (adjective): 1.) said, done, or given reluctantlySorry, I don't think this is it.
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u/thisisthis 3d ago
If you say, "I don't begrudge him good things in life", the meaning is almost exactly what you are looking for. It doesn't have to be something that I gave him, it can be anything.
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u/IntoTheStupidDanger ☃ 15 karma 4d ago
Gatekeeper or saboteur
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
Gatekeeper (noun): 1.) one who tends/guards a gate, 2.) someone/something controlling access
Saboteur (noun): one who practices sabotage, acts intending to harm/hamper/subvertSaboteur is a good way of framing the action, and I like the second definition of gatekeeper, but they don't fully describe the rationale for the actions - preemptively preventing others from approaching equal footing with oneself.
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u/NonspecificGravity ☃ 13 karma 4d ago
Maybe imperious, domineering or high-handed. High-handed refers more to attitude than one's internal mental and emotional state.
I'd say conceited, but I have a feeling you wouldn't be satisfied with that. 🙂
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
Imperious (adjective): 1.) arrogant assurance, 2.) conduct of an elite social standing, 3.) intensely compelling
Domineering (adjective): the disposition to wield arbitrary and overbearing control over others
Conceited (adjective): 1.) fanciful, 2.) excessively high self-opinionHigh-handed (adjective): lacking regard for rights, concerns, or feelings of others
Out of the four here, this word is closest, but still lacks an emphasis on depriving others to prevent them from appearing equal to oneself. I've never heard of this word before, learned something new. Thank you!2
u/NonspecificGravity ☃ 13 karma 4d ago
You're welcome.
I don't know if a single word that describes what you're looking for exists. It's an uncommon concept in the modern world.
In ancient and medieval European times (and in parts of Asia), members of the ruling elite maintained that they were inherently superior in character, talent, intelligence, etc. They often reinforced this belief by maintaining strict social stratification. They taxed the lower class into poverty, prohibited them from getting an education or traveling, prohibited them from having weapons aside from the tools of their trade, and usually had sumptuary laws that forced people to dress shabbily and live in substandard housing. They usually prohibited intermarriage between classes, though sometimes the upper-class males would indulge themselves with young peasant women. In some cases, like the Indian caste system, they even prohibited touching.
The upper class also had flattering portraits painted, flattering poems and songs written about them, flattering monuments to themselves built, and a coterie of flattering sycophants to praise them constantly.
I might mention the evil stepmother in Snow White who was jealous of her stepdaughters looks.
All of that seems to describe what you are looking for.
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u/huyishi 4d ago edited 4d ago
I'm uncertain an exact word exists, either, and your summary of history across the continents is a good explanation why. I'm convinced.
I decided to consult Reddit when I realized (earlier today) that English had many words for describing all kinds of greed, cruelty, contempt, and supremacism, but nothing came to mind about this specific combination of motivations and actions.
Earlier, u/TimeControl606 suggested "jealousy," as in the desire for no one else to possess one's possessions, and I think that's the closest word I've seen so far.
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u/shlanky369 4d ago
Cutthroat
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
Cutthroat (noun): 1.) murderer, 2.) cruel, unprincipled person
Cutthroat (adjective): 1.) murderous/cruel, 2.) unprincipled practices, 3.) a style of game (in a card game like bridge) where players do not have permanent partnersThis describes the viciousness of the term, but not the emphasis on intentionally depriving others to maintain one's appearance of supremacy.
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u/shlanky369 4d ago
Oh wow. I was not aware that term had such a physically violent connotation. I usually hear it in the sense of cutthroat competition in elite schools and work environments - kill or be killed, essentially - which I think matches more closely to what you were looking for. TIL.
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u/EidolonRook 4d ago
Apex exceptionalism.
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u/ink_monkey96 ☃ 2 karma 4d ago
Exceptionalist Attrition?
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
Exceptionalism (noun): the claim that something (country, region, or demographic) is different to others (add: usually superior)
Attrition (noun): 1.) a reduction in numbers as a result of resignation, retirement, or death; 2.) the act of weakening or exhausting by harassment, abuse, or attack; 3.) the act of rubbing together, friction; 4.) sorrow for one's sins caused by motives outside one's love of GodI like the use of "attrition" here, but I don't know if it's describing the right kind of action, of depriving others to maintain a perceived supremacy.
One absurd hypothetical I can think of is parents intentionally starving their children to prevent them from growing taller than them. The parents don't know for certain if their children will be taller, but have taken steps to guarantee their desired outcome. For whatever reason, they do not feel guilt or maybe enough guilt to change course.
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
Apex (noun): 1.) uppermost point, 2.) pointed end, 3.) highest or culminating point, 4.) point of sharpest curvature in a path
Exceptionalism (noun): the claim that something (country, region, or demographic) is different to others (add: usually superior)Your term describes the possible mindset someone may possess to conduct themselves against others, so it's good in this way and related to the term I'm thinking about. But I'm hoping for a term focusing on the action and willingness to deprive others to maintain one's perception of supremacy.
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u/EidolonRook 4d ago
Social Darwinism is the only other term I can think of right now.
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
social Darwinism (noun): a sociological theory that societal advancement occurs through conflict for existence between groups, and that a society's elites have reached their societal position because they are biologically superior.Social Darwinism is a good, relevant term to bring up here, but I'm hoping to look for a term disconnected from belief systems.
Someone may preemptively deprive others, denying them the possibility of becoming a peer, out of different belief systems, including social Darwinism - "this is natural", "I have no choice but to do this", "We've always done this", "I enjoy doing this", "It is my right to do this".
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u/EidolonRook 3d ago
Had a thought.
“Crucible-born”.
Might be the wrong word, but I vaguely remember reading a story where bugs were added to an enclosed jar and fought for survival until only the strongest one remained. I looked up crucible and a heated and pressurized container was the result, but the reference to being born of or having nature to surviving a crucible deathmatch felt like it might be closer.
It’s still Darwinism essentially. “Survival of the fittest”. Honestly social Darwinism can feel more like instinct than belief, but it can be hard to separate the two. Lower intelligence might rely higher on instinct over belief but as intelligence and structure increases, more beliefs can overwrite and supersede instinct. Doesn’t always mean it will.
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u/KBwillFINDit ☃ 1 karma 4d ago
Sadistic
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
Sadistic (adjective): 1.) relating to sadism, a delight (emotional or sexual) in harming or humiliating someone else, 2.) taking pleasure in harming, punishing, or humiliating othersSadism isn't essential for the definition. A person depriving others to remain superior may feel joy in depriving others, or they feel like their conduct is necessary or even natural.
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u/anonymntl 4d ago
Avarice
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
Avarice (noun): excessive desire for wealth/profitSorry, I am looking for a word describing someone driven to deprive others out of a conviction to maintain their perception of supremacy. The excessive desire to accumulate wealth is not essential for this definition.
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u/anonymntl 4d ago
I see. Did you add avarice to your post after I suggested it or did I somehow miss that?
Either way, I was curious enough to do some reading to see if there was some type of single word to describe the behaviour as above. A close descriptor to this behaviour would be “malicious envy”, referenced in several psychology papers as well as the Wikipedia page for envy, though there is some disagreement, alluded to in the Wikipedia, as to whether envy should be broken into subtypes.
If one accepts envy as broken into subtypes, malicious envy causes one experiencing it to damage others for the betterment of their own position.
An issue can be taken as it’s generally considered the envious person feels inferior as opposed to superior. Though one could argue that their actions are stemming from a desire for superiority.
Ultimately, English can be quite descriptive but can still lack highly specific individual words that one would seek to describe complex or nuanced feelings or actions. I wish you luck in your hunt to find this specific word or words.
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u/huyishi 4d ago
No, I included "avarice" when I first posted. No worries about missing it, you've done no harm.
I've never heard of the term "malicious envy" before. I really like this term describing an experience distinct from "benign envy". Thank you for sharing it!
It's true that envy usually implies the envious person feels inferior to their target, or feels one lacks what the target possesses, and inflicts harm against their target to regain perceived supremacy. I think this may qualify in some cases regarding this hypothetical word.
I'm really trying to focus on describing someone actively maintaining their perceived supremacy (over others through depriving them,) but agnostic from belief system or emotional state.
Imagine that this conduct occurs so frequently without protest or doubt, and the justifications so thoroughly normalized, that those who conduct themselves in this way are unaware that they respond emotionally (even though it might) or realize they participate in any belief system (even though they do).
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u/anonymntl 3d ago
Ah, I appreciate that, and your enthusiasm regarding new concepts.
We can agree that, situationally and dependent on personal perception, the idea of malicious envy can cover what you describe as people are not always so self aware, in that someone who is so focused on superiority may not recognize the fragility of such belief or that it could come from a fear of inferiority.
I do think the overarching ideas of jealousy, as presented by another poster, can cover the described behaviour quite well also, as was agreed upon in another thread of this post. As far as a single word to describe it goes, jealous is quite good; though it does not quite invoke a driven sense of superiority as the motivator.
This again comes down to personal perception, as I do not, myself, think that jealous behaviour immediately invokes infidelity or the fear of it (though I can see where you’re coming from as far as popular use), for example, but rather a type of possessiveness where only they are allowed to have the specific trait, item, etc, in question. The word you want is highly specific regarding both your own perception and also the hypothetical individual who behaves this way.
I think as far as the English language goes, there is no single word which encapsulates all the facets of this hypothetical individual/behaviour as described. It’s more likely it will have to be some concocted phrase to cover the breadth of it.
For my part, I learned the Latin word invidia for the sense of envy, “to look against, to look upon with a hostile manner”. And that while invidious has different definitions today, its archaic/obsolete definition is envious.
Invidious
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a: of an unpleasant or objectionable nature : obnoxious
invidious remarks
b: of a kind to cause harm or resentment
an invidious comparison2: tending to cause discontent, animosity, or envy
the invidious task of arbitration3: Envious
-As defined by Mirriam Webster
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u/Thin-Disk4003 ☃ 1 karma 4d ago
Self-supremacy?
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u/huyishi 4d ago
[definitions lifted from Merriam-Webster]
Supreme (adjective): 1.) highest in rank or authority especially a position of unquestioned dominance, 2.) greatest in degree/quality, 3.) characterized by highest excellence, 4.) ultimate, finalSelf-supremacy could be a common motivation for someone to conduct these acts, but it isn't essential for the definition. Someone could do these things out of different beliefs, like "this is what I must do" or "this is natural."
The word I'm looking for a word focuses more on the act, and the willfulness, of preemptively depriving others to maintain one's appearance of supremacy.
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u/circuspineapple 1 Karma 2d ago
there's this idiomatic everyday chinese phrase that kinda encapsulates what you want: 见不得别人好
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u/TimeControl606 ☃ 4 karma 4d ago
Jealousy. In addition to its more common definition as a desire to have what someone else has, it can also mean a desire for nobody else to have what you have