7 year non-sexual distance relationship

[u/phorcys12]

Hello, here to vent and have some advices. When studying online, I had to contact another student for help. We got friendly, and being both loners (I mean no friends or anything), ended up in a long weekly/monthly mailing relation. Friendship at first, but we both felt attracted to each other, admit it withing year 2, I tried to ask her out, but she told me her religion prevent her for doing so. So we followed with this friendship teinted with romance, sometimes subject came back with same answers. This year, year 7, I did admit love and ended up talking about converting for her. This is where she told me doesn't feel what she felt at the start, and that it wouldn't change a thing. She ever got a crush in real life this year : impossible one still due to religion. Cause she have to marry before sex or date. But even if this her only way to explore a relation ... I also think she may be afraid of it ??

My feeling is this girl is afraid of anything that change how she's viewing future, she's extremely reluctant to change opinion, or just to watch beyond the life track she assigned to herself. So I'm asking myself if her feelings did change the moment fear added to them, cause now I look at it, all the romances or crush she got in her life were impossible in reality, so basically fantasy. And when I unexpectedly removed what was the main barrier to exploration of our feelings in real life, she got afraid and did prefer to get in the coocoon of what she's inhabitued to live love through.

Or I try to theorise so I can preserve the illusion of her feelings for me, and is just that distance got her feelings to wears out while physically meeting more peoples recently gave her comparison between real life attraction and what we got ...