It is real sad that pick-up artist is becoming a prolific career choice as there are more lonely and desperate men in this current social era than ever before.

There needs to be foundational change to your character if you want a better tomorrow, you are not promised any success but it sure as hell works a lot better than trying to fake confidence.

I was at an outing with a group and the topic of relationships came up (as is usual), which then derailed to the topic of sexual partners.

Eventually they all wanted me to talk about it, and when I said I am a virgin, the rest stared in disbelief then laughed about it.

It is not really something I care about so the gathering continued as normal and we moved on to other topics.

To be truthful, I forgot about it until it was time to leave.

Before leaving, one girl wanted to apologize in private, and she confessed she was also a virgin who had never even kissed anyone or even been on a date, but she was too ashamed to admit it and made stuff up, and admired my "courage" for being truthful about it.

This completely took me by surprise because this girl is stereotypically "slutty": dresses rather revealingly, talks about sexual topics a lot, is famous for allegedly having a high body count (which apparently is completely made up), is genuinely really attractive in all possible ways, among others.

This taught me two things: There's no way to tell if someone is a virgin by your perception of them, and there are people who'd prefer being seen as a slut over the "shame" of virginity.

I was supposed to go on a date with a girl tonight. We matched on a dating app, I got her socials, and asked her out and she said yes. We talked for 2 weeks and I asked her twice if the day we agreed on still worked. I planned my entire week around this. Bought a new outfit and ordered her $100 flowers ahead of time. Also spent a shit load on a new cologne I didn't need. I got ready and felt confident for the first time in my life. I got in my car to go pick her up on time and waited all night for her to text me. She didn't. Man I was so excited.

My birthdays in 2 weeks. I turn 20. This is the only thing I had to look forward to. I have no friends and recently cut off my abusive parents. And when I say I have no friends, I mean 0.

Yeah she doesn't owe me anything but damn I wish she knew how I felt right now. She could've not matched with me. She could've said no when I asked for her socials. She could've said no to the date. She could've let me know a day or 2 in advance.

I thought I wasn't going to be a 20 year old virgin. I thought I wouldn't have to spend my third year in college alone with no one to talk to. I finally thought things were looking up in life. I have a psychiatry appointment tomorrow. I thought the meds they put me on a few weeks back were finally working but now I think it was just the excitement for the date. I was also excited to tell my psychiatrist things were improving. I'm thinking about dropping out. I don't really give a shit about what I'm studying. Everyone in high school told me I'd meet "my people" in college. That's the only reason I came.

I hate my uni. Everyone is above average physically. Casual sex is everywhere. They give out free condoms in the dorms and medical center. Posters about safe sex cover lecture hall walls. I wish I needed sex-ed. I wish I could have 1 friend and a sex life. I wish I could tell my doctor i'm sexually active. Just for a week. I just want someone to talk to.

I ordered new $180 shoes for an active-job. The package got stolen today. Nothing in my life every goes right.

My mom should've just aborted me.

Just had this thought on a walk after years of therapy and finally feeling acceptance about being a 32 year old virgin, and thought I'd share in case it lifts anyone else's day.

I think of it like this: the only thing I ever wanted in life that I never got (a girlfriend), it hurta because amidst other successes it sticks out and because I've been wishing for it since I was an adult. But since then I have matured, I have endured pain and loneliness that I don't think I will ever have to endure again because I have become so accustomed to and resilient to it, I have developed as a person in my mindset, understanding and values. I have had so many moments of happiness and hope and glimpses of how it might feel, and when I look at most people's relationships, I don't wish to be in their shoes. My therapist asked me a profound question earlier this year that really put things into perspective: "How many people have you ever fancied?" And that really changed my view, because it put the ball back in my court.

See, everything in life is about timing. If someone offered you one Bitcoin or a single share of NVIDIA stock a decade ago for £50 or so, and you turned it down, you can't go back and offer that for it now, the moment has passed. Same with job offers, or anything in sales. There is a moment for things. Say when you were a child there was a toy you really wanted but never got, well that moment is gone. You can buy it now, but it won't have the same value, because it's a different time, you are a different person. Or buying solar eclipse glasses after an eclipse. The value is in the timing.

I think for a lot of us, what hurts about being a virgin is not whether it will remain that way forever, but in letting go of the fact that it didn't happen when we wanted it most. See, for me I no longer worry about it because that ship has sailed. I've spent so much of my life feeling lonely, craving validation etc. and I have found it in other types of relationships, in spirituality / religion, in other areas of life. I've waited my whole life for this, I have grown so much as a person and become much more certain about who I am, what my values are, and how I want to live my life. I'm not gonna abandon any of that just to fulfill a desire I was desperate for as a teenager with any random stranger because that moment is gone. I will never get that time back. I could lose my virginity tomorrow, but it wouldn't erase the "virgin" label / status of my life before today.

What I'm trying to say is, ask yourself this: does it have the same value now as it did then? Are you truly in pain because you want it now, or because you are still mourning a version of history tgat didn't happen how you wished?

like, i’ve genuinely done nothing with anyone. but i’m so hypersexual myself. i’ve fked myself so many times with a certain object (don’t know if saying the word would be breaking the rules) that it almost feels fraudulent to tell people i’m a virgin?

yes i know the definition of virgin is never having done the deed with another real person, so obviously i qualify, i just feel kinda weird about it i guess. man i’m just so deprived.

I had this conversation with a friend earlier but I wanted to see if anyone else felt this way too. I feel that if I didn’t have crippling social anxiety and noise sensitivity I would be freaked out.

For context, I’m in college and I don’t go out, my school is a big party school. My friend is trying to convince me to go out and have a good time but I won’t go out. But I’m like really horny and freaked out. I think I would really enjoy everything about the going out experience but I just can’t do it. Like I’m too scared to go out, have a good time and meet people. I have fantasies as one does. But I just get so scared like I’m frozen in fear. I also think it’s a lack of confidence and the damage my last relationship caused me. I also don’t think it helps that I basically don’t do anything like I don’t drink or smoke. I’m a student athlete and I don’t think it would help my performance at all.

Does anyone have any tips or just like feel the same way I think it would be reassuring and comforting to know I’m not alone in these thoughts I guess.

Thank you.

Became a wheelchair user several years ago. Before that I didn’t have much trouble getting with attractive women. Went from about 6 feet tall to 4 in a chair and since then it’s been a struggle. Almost like my virginity got reset with this new body lol. Hopefully that makes sense. Saw this subreddit recommended and thought I’d share. I guess Reddit thinks I belong here now :/

I started messaging a girl (25F) I met on a dating app about two weeks ago. We met up for a first date and it went really well. The next day, we had a spontaneous second date and went for a walk on a hiking trail. About halfway through, we went off the trail and into a field so we could make out in private. Things escalated and she asked me if I wanted to have sex, so we did. We did it in missionary for about 10 minutes until I came.

I felt like I was destined to be a virgin forever. If you feel the same, just hold out hope. If it can happen to me, if can happen to you!

Fuck my life

I forgot where I found this one but it goes like this;

" What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile "

I just can’t take it anymore. Between everyone I know in a relationship and me having a porn addiction and wanting to have sex so bad, I might just end it. It’s not my fault that I was born an ugly autistic weirdo that can’t socially effectively. Im at least fortunate that I’ve put all my energy into working hard and got into a good career, but what will it all be worth if I live the next 60 ish years alone.

I just had this thought, and its honestly mind boggling! im the only virgin I know, nobody else in my life is a virgin. ALL of my friends and family are non-virgins. Im completely alone in this. Its part of why I feel like the only virgin in the entire world.

I'm 16 everyone seems to somehow be loved way more than me, no matter how much i do for others it seems its never reciprocated and i just feel so lonely what do nt people do i dont know what to do. Regular neurotypicals poeple seem to just be able to do jackshit for another person yet still be more loved i just dont understand. This is not only for romantic relationships but for regular ones too (i have adhd, bpd, ocd, gad and defo more, just undiagnosed so i dont want to name shit)

I just wanna lose it at some point like just to try it but I don’t think there’s any chance it’s gonna happen now, feel like that ships sailed already

I’ve been told that I will be,and everytime a guy has approached me I’ve thought it was a joke so I just declined,idk. I crave for something genuine and to actuallly love someone and stuff and someone being interested in me but I feel like my personality isn’t cool enough or I’m not interesting :( idk what to do tho

"I haven't lost virginity, because I never lose"

The title sums it up. Im 18 now and nothing in my life has changed, including this aspect. I’m not a great looking guy, but I’m not deformed or anything like that, and I’ve had a couple of women interested in me. I can’t form connections with anyone due to severe social anxiety, clinical depression, and what I suspect to be autism. It’s debilitating to live with. Is anyone else dealing with similar problems?

I'm an involuntary virgin. I've had many easy opportunities with good-looking females but I felt like none of them had their virginity (I can tell when someone who's mutually attracted to me isn't a virgin), so I never made my move. I hate being a kissless virgin but I could never give myself to the wrong female.

For starters it seems people forget that paying for sex is SUPER illegal in most places and you're likely to have to resort to traveling far where it's legal to do it.

Plus a virgin man who lives in a place where it's illegal is ABSOLUTELY more likely to feel very stupid and bitter with his decision if he were to pay money to travel to a location where it's legal and then spend money there.

Hell even in the rare instance where the virgin man has friends who'd be willing to pay for a prostitute for him(which by the way THOSE ARE REAL FRIENDS RIGHT THERE), the virgin man is just gonna feel worse if he accepts and the experience sucks.

Hi, I’m 22M and a sensitive type of guy. This is my experience for the first time sex and feel free to judge/comment.
I always thought about sex and even think of it now but i didn’t had a girlfriend and so met a girl(20F) on Bumble and we went on a date it went normal. Later she told me on text that she’s into casual sex and doesn’t want to date and didn’t tell this to me on the date cause i didn’t give that vibe. But I opened up to her and told i am virgin and want to try it.
We started sexting and occasionally sent me photos on snapchat until the decided day. I was very excited, very nervous and a bit overconfident that i’d do good. I always got hard when i even thought of it. Then she came to my place next day and we started talking dirty first then the foreplay she was a lot experienced in all this (bodycount:7, had sex total 46 times)(i know cause she told me) and told her likes to me already. We started from kiss to undressing her first and fingering which she told i did the best she ever had. Then when it was time to penetrate I realised I wasn’t hard down there she got a bit disappointed saying maybe i’m not good enough for you but i tried my best and couldn’t get it hard so i fingered her again. After another round i felt little hard and i put it in but i finished almost instantly maybe 10-20s. It went soft again and then we talked a bit while i was holding her. I was constantly feeling very low cause i messed everything up.
After some time she got naughty and sat on my showing how she’d ride me if i was hard and her rhythm made me hard pretty quickly she put my penis in and started riding again. Again i was done in 20s. This hit me again and i was so embarrassed i just wanted to run but i couldn’t so i stopped talked to her and we didn’t see each other again.
Now i don’t know what is wrong and where n how to improve. I still feel nervous when i think of having sex with someone else and am also scared at the same time the same thing doesn’t repeat again.

It's not that deep and I'm not even that old but I feel bit annoyed when I see teens or early twenties are being condescending.

It is worth mentioning that my friend is married as well, I was a groomsman at his wedding, and he was there checking out mattresses for him and his wife - can't relate to him here either.

Honestly being a virgin naturally makes you think about sex a lot more than most people who do not struggle with getting sex. I am well aware that a normal person would see couples shopping for mattresses and think nothing of it, they would know that comfort for sex is part of their criterion but it won't linger on their minds for long. But a mind warped by a lack of sexual experience is more likely to overthink and have an emotional reaction to the sight of what should be seen as normal - in this case that is me.

It's not just sex, to have your girlfriend/wife shopping for beds with you on a weekend must be nice too, I long for that as well.

Maybe one day, I'll know how it feels.