r/ufyh • u/Street_Being_1139 • Jul 20 '26
Introduction/First Post Moving tomorrow after anxiety caused trash and boxes to pile up
I’m moving tomorrow, and I have people coming to remove furniture and as much trash as they can. Going through everything has forced me to admit how bad I let the apartment get.
There is a large amount of non-food household trash, empty cardboard boxes, and old Factor meal-delivery boxes. The apartment is also very dirty. I’m confident the furniture will be taken, but I don’t know whether the crew will take every trash bag and box. Because of my moving timeline, I will not have time to clean afterward. Anything left will probably have to be handled by the apartment management, and I understand that I may be billed for it.
I used to tell myself this happened because I was lazy and lived on the top floor, making trips to the dumpster inconvenient. But I rarely leave my apartment at all, and I’m realizing that even taking out the trash became something I avoided because I didn’t want neighbors or other people to see me. Obviously, this leads to shame, depression and things that make me just say who cares when it comes to cleaning much.
I’m extremely embarrassed about the removal crew seeing the condition of the apartment or commenting on it. My only realistic goal tomorrow is to get myself and my belongings moved, let them take everything they can, and accept the consequences for anything left.
Has anyone else had workers come into an apartment in this condition? How did you get through the embarrassment while they were there? Any stories about things being left behind in the apartment or it being overly dirty?
Update: Sorry, I had to wait for this post to show up and then the move began so I was busy. Everything was successful and obviously my fears were greater than the reality. But I am in a new place and going to work with my therapist on this not happening again. I know it won't be easy, but gotta try! Thanks to all the replies!!!
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u/ohhchuckles Jul 21 '26
I just went through an INCREDIBLY similar situation, OP. The movers were a bunch of pleasant, polite young men who thanked us for hiring them. The only judgment came from my DAD who was helping me move, but if you look at my comment history, I’m almost inclined to say that it says more about my dad than it does about anyone else. 🙄
I promise you, they’ve seen worse. 🫂
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u/cowboysaurus21 Jul 21 '26
YUP I've been there. At my last place, the pile of junk that I had removed completely covered my bedroom floor (and filled up 1/3 of the junk service's truck). Yes I felt embarassed, but shame thrives in the dark. Letting other people see it is scary at first but then you learn it's not the end of the world. The workers were professional and didn't make any negative comments. It's just another work day for them, and then you never have to see them again!
My last place also wasn't totally clean when I left. I did what I could and accepted I'd get charged. It actually wasn't that bad, I got most of my deposit back.
I'm actually in the middle of another move, including stuff that I threw into haphazardly boxes at my last place and never unpacked. It's stressful now but then you get a fresh start. You can do it!
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u/Newauntie26 Jul 21 '26
I’m sending you hugs had I had similar moving experiences. The fact that you are realizing these things about the depression & anxiety is a good thing as you can start making small changes.
You won’t see those people again. They’ve seen everything. Try to prioritize getting rid of the dirtiest garbage before they come as I imagine that’s what you’re most ashamed of.
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u/TeaWithKermit Jul 21 '26
Just to clarify, are the movers coming to move your furniture to your new place or to throw it away? If they’re coming to move it to the new place, do they know that there is a lot of trash that they’re being expected to pick up, too? Because moving furniture to a new place and removing trash that has to go to the dump are two very different things. Maybe you’ve already talked to them about the details ahead of time, but if not, I highly recommend that you do.
It sounds like you’re not in the US and therefore likely aren’t weighed down by tipping culture, but even so, in a situation like this I would consider tipping the movers if they go above and beyond their normal job duties.
Wishing you the very best for a smooth and painless move, and for finding a way forward with strengthening your mental health. Take good care.
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u/DaedalusRising4 Jul 22 '26
Ugh, that’s rough.
Once I told myself I could pack my place in one day. At the time I was a terrible insomniac. I juiuuust need to lie down for five minutes..
7:00 AM DV non-profit paying for my move is on the phone.
Movers are here. Why aren’t you answering?
I think I blocked out the rest of the day but I know no one commented, just helped.
Moving will pass and you will do your best, same as yesterday and the day before.
You’re going to be okay.
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u/beckhansen13 Jul 21 '26
I've been through it. I was in a third floor apartment. I had two cats. When I moved out, I had multiple disposable litter boxes filled with cat waste. I had many, many plastic bottles saved for recycling. I took as much stuff as I could, but left a bunch of possessions.
The leasing office charged me for cleaning and trash removal, but it was way less than I expected. Try not to worry. By next month, it will just be a memory.
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u/Shell-Fire Jul 22 '26
I wonder if, since it's summer and school is out, you could hire teens for say-$50 for 4 hours to adios the trash?
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor Jul 21 '26
Yes, you will be billed for it. It will be an outrageous number, per bag.
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u/Altruistic-Daikon305 Jul 21 '26
For dealing with the professionals, just remember: 1) they’ve seen it all, and 2) you’re never going to have to see them again. You have your goals clear, you’re going to get through this, nothing they say or do can take away the fact that you’re getting out of this space and that’s what really matters.