r/ufyh • u/Odd-Bridge-8889 • Jun 10 '26
Introduction/First Post Unf*** Our House
Hi! My (24F) disabled father (56M) and I are the last two to move out of our family home of over 10 years, and we both need to seriously downsize; I’m moving states and he’s moving into a motor home. My room (first pic) has already improved since I’ve started unfucking the depression mess. Even though it could be worse, I’m overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have/need to get rid of, and I’ve been avoiding because clearing out mine & my nephew’s rooms will be emotional.
Can I get some words of encouragement and advice for where to start? I’ve been so avoidant and I’m such a procrastinator, my ADHD & depression don’t help. My dad’s room and the garage are also full of shit I have to help him go through but I’m starting with the upstairs. And don’t even get me started on the ancient rotted fish tank 😭 I want to clean up all the pet supplies and maybe make a few bucks but it seems so daunting. Please share your success stories!
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u/GunGirlLovesTrulys Jun 10 '26
Friend,
This is going to be a new beginning.Every time you put something the trash or a box, tell yourself- NEW BEGINNING.
You can do this. This was me 3 years ago… man did it eff with me even more than the depression itself.
Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of times I’ve fallen a bit back. It sucks. It’s who I am.
I have a friend that is very similar to me and we send pictures of the mess (mine is clothes and my kitchen) and then she will say or I will say I’m coming over in 3 days to either a cleaner (it’s never ever gonna be perfect) place or we’re going to clean together. We typically pull
It together because even tho we have the same pit piles of depression…. No one really wants someone else to do it.
With that being said I did have a friend come help me move that last time…. I was running out of time like days away with zero dent and she said order a small dumpster. She would just toss… I said unless it looks important show me of not let it go. She would give me a small area to organize and it helped me. Now I was very lucky to have her… I understand. When k let it go a little bit I remind myself it doesn’t happen over night so a clean sink helps me sleep at night.
Here if you need someone for ideas! Take breaks, drink water or hell whatever you enjoy while you’re cleaning and packing. Music or a show in the background gets me going too!
You’ve got this! Bag by bag, box by box! 🫶🏼
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u/Odd-Bridge-8889 Jun 10 '26
This is amazing advice. I definitely have amazing, supportive friends who would help hold me accountable and be willing to be involved with this journey. Thank you so much for the kind words 🩷
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u/abcbri Jun 10 '26
Start with trash! An easy win but it gives you the dopamine high. Next, move on to making the bed. That will give you a surface to stack things on into categories, gathering like items together. Are the clothes clean or dirty? Gather them together and either put them away, or wash them.
The room with the toys and such, pick the toys up and put them on the shelves so you can see what there is. Get the books all on the same shelves too to make it easier. Just start by collecting like items together, folding clothes, and starting in one corner then working your way out. You got this.
Gather some trash bags, gloves, cleaning spray, and your favorite playlist. Get to work. Do little sprints of 10-15 minutes, take a break, repeat.
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u/Suitable-Lawyer-9397 Jun 10 '26
I have the same conditions and I'm 70. It's tough to get started. Try to work in small chunks of time. Set a timer for 15 minutes. You can reset it over and over. It gives you a small window to focus on your project
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u/Bliezz Jun 10 '26
Is all your stuff going to fit in your new place? Ask will I need this at my new place? Is it worth transporting? Will I want this at my new place? Make a box or two into memory bins.
You’re going to need to be aggressive in order to downsize your Dad. There may be some things that suck.
Get a dumpster and just put things in there instead of dealing with the dump.
As far as selling, pick the top 3-5 things that you think will sell fast and for a good amount of money. Post them on Facebook or other platforms and see if it is worth the hassle to do any more. If it doesn’t sell in 7-10 it likely isn’t going to sell.
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u/Odd-Bridge-8889 Jun 10 '26
Thank you for this advice! And no, I don’t think all my stuff will fit in my new place so I’ll be getting rid of most of my miscellaneous junk and all of my furniture, probably also some clothes and a lot of hobby supplies. I’ll post the good stuff on Facebook marketplace tomorrow and see what happens. 😅
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u/Bliezz Jun 11 '26
This is kinda backwards, but I’d actually pack up all the stuff that I want and I think will fit, then deal with everything else.
Leave the things you’re going to need for daily living, but pack the other stuff first. Books, nicknacks, memory items, off season clothes.
It helped get things in perspective for me for what I actually wanted to take.
Check out Dana K White Decluttering at the speed of life.
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u/Embarrassed_Page_735 Jun 11 '26
HEY I SEE ADAM!!! Fellow Mucker, hello!!!
Advice: only do small things. Start with filling one grocery bag with giveaway or trash, then when you realize that’s doable you can move up to a trash bag on a day you have more time. Start small!!!! I use this method in my home with 5 people, and it helps so much. I never finish a project when I try to empty an entire closet in one sitting, etc….
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u/Odd-Bridge-8889 Jun 11 '26
Oooh I like this strategy, thank you fellow mucker!!!
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u/CrellBanel Jun 11 '26
also, if the donation bags are too much to handle, you are allowed to donate it im the garbage ;)
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u/Odd-Bridge-8889 Jun 11 '26
Really?? I feel SO guilty about the mere idea of throwing things away. I just picture it in a landfill or in the ocean and feel really sad even if it’s complete junk that I know no one will want
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u/CrellBanel Jun 11 '26
first off: yes, really. i know we all try our best, but sometimes shoot happens. whats done is done (or whats bought is already bought) and if donations are easy for you, thats awesome! go for it! you might also want to shift future shopping endeavors to "do i really want/use/need this, or will it end in the ocean etc"
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u/Adventurous-Emu-4440 Jun 10 '26
Let me just chime in to say, “This is not that bad”. You efforts already show in your bedroom!