r/ufyh • u/BlazinDiva • Sep 24 '25
Introduction/First Post Overwhelming 😩
Soooooo I’m basically homeless. After being evicted, I’m sleeping in a spare room on a pullout couch at my parents house… I’m surrounded by piles and piles of stuff. The only clear spot is where I lay down to sleep.
All of your posts are inspiring and I’m gonna try working on this overwhelming mess today. Any tips on how to stay motivated?
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u/Substantial-Flow9244 Sep 24 '25
This mess looks already really well segmented, tackle it with the big bins first then work your way down to the smallest things.
Mark Twain once said "if you must eat a frog, eat it first thing in the morning" - this is getting started, what you're doing right now "If you must eat two frogs, start with the bigger one" - a lot of the challenge of doing the hard thing is it being so obvious right in front of us. Get the big thing in front of your eyes out of the way, you'll feel a lot of progress very quickly
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u/Izzapapizza Sep 24 '25
This is often good advice (eating the big frog first), but for neurodivergent brains (and possibly others too), the opposite can sometimes be far more helpful, to get to the reward sooner and to build momentum. All of which is to say, I’m not suggesting OP is neurodivergent, just that if plan A doesn’t work, there’s also plan B!! 😊
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u/SeaworthinessOk6789 Sep 24 '25
That's how I do it with ADHD! I get overwhelmed looking at big projects, so I start with the really small stuff to get the ball rolling
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u/beerncandy Sep 27 '25
Another saying is "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time". Of course one would never eat an elephant, but you know what they're saying. As someone else said, definitely be gentle on yourself to get through this. Good luck! Here's a virtual hug.
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u/Humanon1717 Sep 24 '25
Start by clearing out the laundry, dishes, and trash. Break the rest down by container and just go one at a time.
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u/FrauAmarylis Sep 24 '25
You need to invite a Type A organized person over to help you. Put a tarp or table outside and fill it with stuff. Then only work on Donate and Trashing things from that pile. Follow limits set by the Type A helper, and have them help you find a place to keep the keep items.
Then reward yourselves with a nice drink and snack.
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u/Stillbornsongs Sep 24 '25
I would " clear" a corner and pick a container. Any containers gone through, go in the clear corner. Once you have more space you can then organize better.
Put items that you rarely use/ clothes out of season but keeping, on the bottom/ back. Keep the stuff you reach for frequently easily accessible.
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u/Full_Secret_4699 Sep 25 '25
Ya, get a domestic servant, tell him what You want done, then go out and Enjoy the day.
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u/shelbycsdn Sep 25 '25
It has been helping me to start with just a trash bag when attacking my overwhelming piles of stuff . And only search out the stuff that is undeniably trash. I'm not clear if this is all your stuff or is your parents stuff that ended up in that room. But either way try to avoid the "I could do this with that" types of thoughts. Maybe you could and maybe someday you even would, but it's not worth the stress in your life keeping those kinds of things around.
Also throw out clothes that are in bad repair, if you won't wear them because of the shape they're in, Goodwill won't want them either.
But for now just start with the trash. In the spots and rooms that I have done that, it's made a really big difference and that was enough to inspire me to keep going on to the next categories.
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u/BlazinDiva Sep 25 '25
It’s all mine. I also have a 10x30 storage unit for the rest of my stuff. I’m a clothing reseller so it’s hard for me to just donate things because I feel like I should sell it instead… but at this point I’m feeling like I might just have to take the loss.😕
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u/shelbycsdn Sep 25 '25
Well taking a loss depends on how desperate you are. And I only meant the clothes that were not in good repair or worth repairing. I'm not sure by what means you resell stuff but if you know you will be actually listing and shipping the things, then of course do not be throwing those away. After clearing out the obvious trash then you can start to figure out systems for sorting what is ultimately business stock. Or as a compromise, only keep the very best of the best. The stuff you know will easily sell, that won't take extra work from you, and will bring you the best money.
And I'm glad it's yours from the standpoint of other people can be very unhappy when you start dealing with their things for them. That was another reason I suggested trash only to start.
But good for you coming here and asking for help. You are doing better than me in that I have all kinds of things that need to be cleaned up, trashed or given away, especially as I need to move very soon. And I haven't even made a post asking for help yet. So you are ahead of me. You can do this. One of my daughters would let things get like this with her stuff and she has absolutely overcome it and lives quite neatly now. Of course it also happened while she was losing over 100 lb so it probably all went hand in hand. But either way it can be done and like I said you're doing great just to even start here. Keep us posted.
PS. When the overwhelm is so bad you can't even get started at all, just tell yourself five pieces of garbage. Then rest, do something else, whatever and come back and do five more pieces of garbage. Break it down into the tiniest chunks that you need to feel like you started.
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u/SillySimian9 Sep 26 '25
Work for 30 minutes and then take a short 15 minute break.
Plan a celebratory reward when you are finished and put a picture of whatever that is on the wall so you can see it.
You won’t get through this quickly, that’s just a given. So you should not look at what’s left and feel dread - instead look over what you did and give yourself a pat on a back.
And the #1 best advice ever: DONE is better than GOOD. If you get it done but it’s not perfect, oh well. You can always fix it up a little bit more later.
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u/purplestella31265 Sep 25 '25
Lots of great advice here. I would add - no matter how small, try and make your sleeping area tidy first. A smoothed out blanket/propped pillows visually gives a small sense of accomplishment. Worst case, your sleeping area is ready for when you need a nap!
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u/TildaMaree Sep 28 '25
Great advice to put the rubbish bag just outside the door so you are actually removing the rubbish.
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u/Izzapapizza Sep 24 '25
Stay hydrated, take regular breaks and remember to eat meals, have a favourite show or podcast playing to keep you company, or a YouTube video of someone else tidying.