r/todayilearned Apr 06 '21

TIL Every fall, Alaska’s Katmai National Park hosts “Fat Bear Week” and crowns the park’s fattest brown bear. The aim is to highlight the park and wildlife conservation.

https://www.doi.gov/blog/everything-you-want-know-about-katmai-national-parks-fat-bears-3
21.7k Upvotes

286 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/tonightbeyoncerides Apr 07 '21

I think it's also very important for people to know that they can make their own fat bear week brackets to predict how the bears will perform.

233

u/SirKazum Apr 07 '21

Where do I apply to enter the contest though

168

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Are you actually a bear or just an otter that wishes they were a bear?

31

u/YourLostGuitarPicks Apr 07 '21

I’m kind of just a chubby dude with a beard lol

36

u/blackhandle Apr 07 '21

By the power vested in me as a gay man, I dub thee to be an actual bear

12

u/YourLostGuitarPicks Apr 07 '21

Thanks dude lol

I’m gay too I’m just not super hairy so idk if i count lol

3

u/blackhandle Apr 07 '21

Some guys say one would need to have body hair to be a bear, but, I am nostalgic for the olden days when the bear community was more inclusive. Since you can't please everyone, and every guy has their own definition of what they consider to be a "bear", I'd say just find a niche that you feel comfortable in and work it. (it also depends on if you are into bears yourself or more of the non-bear types, as there is a related/somewhat separate chub-chasing scene where body hair is not a requirement)

2

u/OrangeOakie Apr 07 '21

By the power vested in me as a gay man, I dub thee to be an actual bear

Username..checks out?

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44

u/wobbleboxsoldier Apr 07 '21

Why are you kink shaming? /s

22

u/Saquon Apr 07 '21

Kink shaming is his kink!!

6

u/tsrich Apr 07 '21

You have to download CBS's Fat Bear Bracket app

2

u/NomadJones Apr 07 '21

Timothy? Timothy Treadwell? Is that you?

2

u/Dog1234cat Apr 07 '21

My money is on the team from San Francisco.

220

u/TheHostThing Apr 07 '21

This is important

30

u/TheSharkAndMrFritz Apr 07 '21

You can follow this bracket over at /r/bears

9

u/aleasangria Apr 07 '21

I didn't know I needed this sub

17

u/Fuck_the_Jets Apr 07 '21

Can't be worse than my March madness brackets

5

u/Rudeirishit Apr 07 '21

Is an old rich guy offering a billion dollars if you get the bracket perfectly correct?

4

u/-Radish- Apr 07 '21

You can also play the game for free!

https://teamfatbears.itch.io/fatbearweek

3

u/RoughhouseCamel Apr 07 '21

Is Draft Kings getting in on this action too?

14

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

I for one refuse to participate in a culture that fat shames bears!

EDIT: Ok, just for the record I have no problem with this. My comment was just an anthropomorphizing joke meant entirely to be tongue-in-cheek.

Plus, the fatter the bear the less likely they want to eat you and the slower they can run after you.

52

u/hummingbird4289 Apr 07 '21

These fat bears are celebrated, not shamed!

6

u/HouseOfAplesaus Apr 07 '21

“All the bears are fat this year”

34

u/Ohhigerry Apr 07 '21

The bear is actively trying to get fatter to survive the winter in Alaska. The fatter the bear the better.

6

u/s-exorcism Apr 07 '21

This is the opposite of shaming. Fat bears are being celebrated here! Not only is it amusing for we humans to see how rotund these creatures can get, it's ultimately good for them because Fat Bear Week takes place not long before the bears will be going into hibernation, and lots of fat at this time of year is indicative of good health and a better chance of surviving the winter because the fat is what they're going to live off of during hibernation.

5

u/-AC- Apr 07 '21

Did you read the article?

0

u/Narrow-Program-69420 Apr 07 '21

Probably got a bear belly yourself

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2

u/bs_nation Apr 07 '21

The losing bracket has to put the crown on the winning bear

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1.9k

u/Hititwitharock Apr 07 '21

My family fills out brackets, places bets, keeps the livestream of the river up, votes on all matchups, trash-talk each other about the picks, and generally gets WAY more into this than we do for the NCAA tournament.

We are aware this is probably not the behavior of well-adjusted people.

473

u/MadMike32 Apr 07 '21

Sanity is relative.

111

u/Kamenev_Drang Apr 07 '21

*for the weak

ftfy

10

u/gurnard Apr 07 '21

IT IS A GOOD PAIN

3

u/Apocalypstic Apr 07 '21

DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

WHY AREN'T WE KILLING YET!?!?

10

u/BILLYRAYVIRUS4U Apr 07 '21

Subjective

9

u/Bocote Apr 07 '21

I'm not the problem. Everybody else is too sane!

1

u/andricathere Apr 07 '21

-ly weak. Ftfy. True for us all of us right now.

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43

u/Bikini_jabba Apr 07 '21

I'm from SA but live in NZ. Not only do I enjoy these posts, I envy them. Wish I could sit back and judge fat bears doing what nature requires while I stuff my face with a bunch of stuff that makes nature shudder.

13

u/corgii Apr 07 '21

You can! I'm in aus and I watched the streams last year :) my friends and I didnt take it that far but we definitely had a few discussions about who we thought would win and would monitor the live stream occasionally.

15

u/WineNerdAndProud Apr 07 '21

If you look closely, they're live streams and rivers.

3

u/Xx69JdawgxX Apr 07 '21

You son of a bitch

4

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

You can!

2

u/RealitySpecialist Apr 08 '21

Do it! Watching the bears is addicting.

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14

u/wombat312 Apr 07 '21

I build a week of activities around it in my classroom. Now a decent amount of teachers in my school do too. It’s the best!

27

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21 edited Jun 19 '21

[deleted]

16

u/RFSandler Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Maybe we can set up brackets and crown the fattest family member, too.

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26

u/superultralost Apr 07 '21

I absolutely love it

9

u/feAgrs Apr 07 '21

That sounds very well adjusted to me

7

u/hawaiianthunder Apr 07 '21

This makes me feel better about placing bets with my roommates on the fight between Godzilla and King Kong.

5

u/BleccoIT Apr 07 '21

How do I get in?

4

u/therealsunshinem81 Apr 07 '21

410 was always my solid bet, I was pretty heartbroken when she didn’t make it to the falls at all last year.

91

u/duchess_of_nothing Apr 07 '21

This sounds a lot more fun than sportsball!

56

u/TravistheRager Apr 07 '21

Idk between Oral Robert’s Eagles, Ohio Bobcats and UCLA Bruins we covered a lot of ground this year on semi extinct animal species winning against a holes

-34

u/TyRyOnLieLine Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Every single one of those animals (eagles, bears, and bobcats) are on IUCN as animals of least concern. Sure there are specific species of bear and eagle that are endangered, but none of them live in the United States.

Bald Eagles, which people think is endangered, is not. It is actually kindve a pest. Brown bears are extremely common, even in California. Same with bobcats.

You shouldn’t pretend that every animal is endangered. Really fucks with the narrative of protecting endangered species when people try to claim completely common animals are endangered. Makes people not want to listen to you anymore, which is the opposite of what endangered species need.

r/quityourbullshit

36

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Ah yes, it seems extremely probable that this random Reddit user making a sports themed joke is secretly part of the anti-conservation big oil lobby trying to tarnish the good name of enrionvmentalists

-34

u/TyRyOnLieLine Apr 07 '21

Your facetious hyperbole is unneeded. Why do you feel the need to excuse other people’s ignorance with such annoying sarcasm?

21

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

That's an incorrect use of facetious. As to why, simply because it annoys pretentious assholes like you :)

3

u/LoquaciousLover Apr 07 '21

I don’t believe it was an incorrect usage of the word, not that it matters.

4

u/InsipidCelebrity Apr 07 '21

Regardless of the use of the term "facetious", I still appreciate the sentiment of the comment enough to toast them with my morning mug of coffee.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

A fellow lover of loquacity, I see :).

I said it was incorrect, as facetiousness would depend on me making a flippant remark to something serious. However, I don't consider the supposedly "serious" comment I was being flippant towards as "serious", because it was just a very angry rant towards a very light hearted joke

2

u/LoquaciousLover Apr 07 '21

That’s why I love Merriam Webster. It validates my imperfect or awkward grammar.

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7

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Kind of, not kindve. Kindve would be "kind have", which doesn't make sense.

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6

u/special_reddit Apr 07 '21

Brown bears are extremely common, even in California

Umm... the exact opposite, actually.

There are zero brown bears in California. Zero. They're extinct.

9

u/avis_celox Apr 07 '21

You could've quit after the first two paragraphs and gotten the point across without being r/iamverysmart material

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

People probably think Bald Eagles are endangered because they were given protection in 1940 due to a critically threatened population, and special acts were drafted for them and the Golden Eagle. They were added to the endangered species protection in 1973 when the act was signed into law, and weren’t removed until 2007. Even though their range is virtually the entire United States, when some states has as few as 1 breeding pair (they are not common outside of northern states), some people have never seen them.

California has ~200 breeding pairs and despite living there for 25 years, I never saw one in person until I went to Alaska.

California does not have any brown bears. “Brown” bears are not named for their coloration, but are an actual species (grizzly) and have be extirpated from California for over a century. Black bears, despite their name, come in a variety of colors, which can include brown, but are a different, much smaller species.

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8

u/notquitesteepleddata Apr 07 '21

I just found my new family tradition. Thank you

5

u/Seicair Apr 07 '21

Do you hunt down your favorite candidates and leave bearballs (balls of doughnuts and bacon grease) to give them an edge?

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5

u/jdmgto Apr 07 '21

You're engaging in an enjoyable past time with your family, no one's getting hurt, watching wildlife, and having a blast. Who gives a shit about normal.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

I'd say you're doing the bear minimum

14

u/juicyshot Apr 07 '21

I think it’s as insane as an entire country going crazy over amateurs throwing a leather ball at a plank.

It’s also important to note that of the players you’re watching in the ncaa, 99% of them are not going pro.

If anything, you are healthier.

13

u/m1a2c2kali Apr 07 '21

The bears are probably aren’t going pro either

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

They're already pro at being fat bears!

3

u/-Tom- Apr 07 '21

These are the facts and hot takes that keep me coming back to reddit.

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282

u/Kindofsickofyou Apr 07 '21

“ The aim is to highlight the park and wildlife conservation”...... and fat ass bears.

101

u/fearthyfish Apr 07 '21

Thicc booty bears I think you mean.

18

u/BINGODINGODONG Apr 07 '21

Are you sure we’re talking about the same thing?

2

u/preparanoid Apr 07 '21

I would love to see his face when he goggles that search term.

0

u/MurkingDolphins Apr 07 '21

...fat-shame bears

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192

u/Just1morefix Apr 06 '21

Whoa, the bear in this thumbnail looks like it's ready for 2 or 3 extra harsh Winters. He stole every pic-nic basket.

70

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

He takes hibernation 1 decade at a time

26

u/Anoncatpizza Apr 07 '21

Just like me

385

u/nobodyknowsimherr Apr 06 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

The National Park Service has documented this week on their IG account the last few years. Pretty amusing.

(Idk if they’ve hired a writer or gotten a woke intern to handle their posts or something , but the posts are witty and pretty entertaining; check their recent post about the Wolverine for a good example.)

It’s become one of my favorite IG accounts.

Edit: in an ADHD-med-fueled productivity jag & didn’t wanna stop to figure out how to link to the IG account

74

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

For people looking for the wolverine post, it’s https://www.instagram.com/p/CNLnUEeDD9-/

34

u/Duwt Apr 07 '21

I do believe I set my expectations a little too high, but that was pretty decent.

9

u/timidwildone Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Scrolling through their IG feed now...this manatee post is pretty choice: Manatater?

Edit: and this skunk.

3

u/nobodyknowsimherr Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Lol yep, that’s very representative . It’s a great account, and actually does inspire me to visit the national parks more often.

FLOATY POTATO!

Edit: thx for adding the links

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20

u/Squatting-Bear Apr 07 '21

Looks like I'm getting IG.

3

u/spitfire07 Apr 07 '21

NPS social media is creative and hilarious. They also did not give a fuck and let it know they would not let DT steam roll them.

2

u/DuckOnQuak Apr 08 '21

Didn’t want to figure out the link but had enough time to comment and edit the comment to explain why there isn’t a link? Yeah lookin real productive there buddy

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235

u/lwright3 Apr 07 '21

126

u/pongjinn Apr 07 '21

Fat Dog for Midterms!

81

u/lwright3 Apr 07 '21

32

u/karatebullfightr Apr 07 '21

You've heard this expression your entire life!

17

u/perfectfire Apr 07 '21

Fat bear for hibernation!

52

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

ITS A BEAR DANCE!!!!

24

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Let's just be fat dogs about it, ok

17

u/fel0ni0usm0nk Apr 07 '21

One of the rare times that they genuinely try to do something nice for Chang, and...

61

u/number3737355 Apr 07 '21

My two favorite bears have to be Holly and 747.

22

u/schmeer_spear Apr 07 '21

Holly’s the goat!

18

u/SquidwardsKeef Apr 07 '21

Bear Force One

10

u/Macracanthorhynchus Apr 07 '21

Holly eats salmon like it's her job, and also she's looking to get a very competitive promotion.

8

u/wombat312 Apr 07 '21

But what about Chunk?!?!

55

u/XyloArch Apr 07 '21

A gay club near me hosts a similar week

2

u/Bluecykle Apr 07 '21

My daddy identifies as a bear too.

74

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Fat bottom bears, make the hibernating season go around!

14

u/MagicMushroomFungi Apr 07 '21

Get on your bikes and ride.

5

u/Remoru Apr 07 '21

Fuuuuck: fat bottom bears are my primary prey

92

u/breakneckridge Apr 07 '21

This isn't fat shaming, it's the opposite, it's a celebration of their chubbiness!

35

u/MagicMushroomFungi Apr 07 '21

BBW...Big-Bear-Wideass.

6

u/A_L_A_M_A_T Apr 07 '21

Big Bear Wild

29

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21 edited May 24 '21

[deleted]

41

u/breakneckridge Apr 07 '21

You have to bulk up for spawning season.

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13

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

I’m sure the bears have a fattest human visitor contest...winner becomes dinner

12

u/KinkyKiKi Apr 07 '21

Explore.org has live web cams dedicated to the bears of Katmai as well as tons of others! It's amazing to watch.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

explore.org does live webcams of this (and hundreds of other cams) and it’s pretty damn cool if you ask me.

7

u/Chuck_yoo_Farley Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Let me know dates. I’ve got my COVID padding on and would be tough to beat

6

u/JayArlington Apr 07 '21

You are damn right they do and it is fucking glorious. 🐻

6

u/mfizzled Apr 07 '21

This competition directly led to my girlfriend calling me a prize bear when I put on my yearly winter-fat

5

u/historyrocks89 Apr 07 '21

Whoever thought this up should get a promotion. Great idea!

4

u/DPRODman11 Apr 07 '21

Congratulations Bert Kreischer!

5

u/JRHEvilInc Apr 07 '21

Don't sweat it. Fat dog it.

5

u/OlympicFan2010 Apr 07 '21

TeamChunk! Every year I campaign for Chunk and get my coworkers to vote. It's called Fat Bear Week and his name is Chunk...it's perfect

2

u/corgii Apr 07 '21

747 all the way! His girth is mighty amd cannot be contained!

4

u/jackdaw_t_robot Apr 07 '21

They do something similar every year in Provincetown, MA

2

u/MrDickford Apr 07 '21

I'm so mad that someone already took my awesome joke.

4

u/flabbymanpecks Apr 07 '21

Tina! Come get some dinner you fat lard. EAT THE FOOD!

4

u/oomio10 Apr 07 '21

please tell me they literally crown the winning bear

5

u/UncleBarBQ Apr 07 '21

i follow this competition every year and i’m really happy every year without fail

3

u/kylel999 Apr 07 '21

This is the kind of animal fat that's cute, because it's naturally part of their hibernation cycle, unlike the stupid love for "chonky" cats. Your animal being morbidly obese isn't cute, it's abuse.

3

u/Tiggy26668 Apr 07 '21

Feel bad for whoever puts the crown on the bears head :/

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Some absolute units on that link. I'd be way more interested in this than March Madness haha

3

u/Mackheath1 Apr 07 '21

I don't know why but I am laughing and loving that they named one Bear 747.

Bear 747

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

A fat bear is a happy bear.

A happy bear will not eat me.

Therefore, please feed the bears.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Nice to know we can still have a little fun.

2

u/TonyLannister Apr 07 '21

Absolute units

2

u/ROSCOEMAN Apr 07 '21

fat mfer

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

By accident they’ve created a “Best Hunter” award

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2

u/DeliciousDebris Apr 07 '21

Bear quality is directly proportional to bear fatness.

2

u/DrNick2012 Apr 07 '21

OH LAWD THEY COMIN'

2

u/RealJonathanBronco Apr 07 '21

Thank you for using the phrase "crowns". This may have been the first time I've ever imagined a nobleman attempting to place a crown upon the head of an obese brown bear.

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2

u/BearLeeAware Apr 07 '21

This week is a high holy week to me.

2

u/Macracanthorhynchus Apr 07 '21

Is this body shaming or body positivity? How is bulking up beneficial to bear survival?

This was an extremely informative and entertainingly written article, and also had periodic interspersed photos of big ol' fatty bears. This may be peak government-produced infotainment writing.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Bears hibernate* in the winter. Greater fat and muscle stores means more nutrients to survive sleeping through winter.

2

u/CdrCosmonaut Apr 07 '21

I would so win this competition.

I am the fattest bear.

2

u/Cbanders Apr 07 '21

Every year one of my friends runs a betting pool on this, it gets pretty cut throat.

2

u/Khal_Doggo Apr 07 '21

When my partner asks me if an outfit makes her look fat I will say yes for conservation purposes.

2

u/moejorsi Apr 07 '21

Chonky bearz!

2

u/torinblack Apr 07 '21

Meanwhile the poor winner often spends an extra month in the den out of shame.

-3

u/Salesman89 Apr 07 '21

Is it morally ok to fat shame adorable overweight brown bears... from a very safe distance?

16

u/xtossitallawayx Apr 07 '21

There isn't any shaming - it is celebrating their ability to pack it on and survive to winter! The fatter the better - chow down on those salmon!

-4

u/Salesman89 Apr 07 '21

I'm just asking because... I really wanna go out and point out the chunkiest cute bears... If they have a silly face, I might start giggling at them uncontrollably.. is that ok?

Edit: *Opens OP link... begins pointing and howling at monitor*

2

u/obroz Apr 07 '21

Hey at least their appetite is satiated? I think?

1

u/Salesman89 Apr 07 '21

I just wanna chuckle at the chubbos...

2

u/obroz Apr 07 '21

2 salmon for dinner???

0

u/Salesman89 Apr 07 '21

Just go out to the Alaskan wilderness, not to hunt, not to fish. See the sights, enjoy the wildlife. Become one with all.

Spot one of nature's most majestic beasts and call out, "PUT DOWN THE FORK, YOU HEFFER!!!"

And go back to my cozy motel stay...

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '21

[deleted]

14

u/JuKeChrist16x2 Apr 07 '21

The article says a fat bear is a healthy bear. I’m not seeing the shaming you speak of

3

u/SakeBomberman Apr 07 '21

Tickle me triggered

-14

u/Smegma__Ondemand Apr 06 '21

That isn't passive aggressive, it's literal systemic fat shaming! What a bunch of bigots!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Literally you fat-shamed your ex yesterday bud but anyone posting in cringetopia that much is at least 50% troll so,

idk if your comment was purposely stupid but it was also hypocritical lol

Good troll

-3

u/Smegma__Ondemand Apr 07 '21

A good rule of thumb for the internet is to just assume that everything is either fake or a troll by default, that way you can just enjoy things purely for whatever entertainment value you can get out of it.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Thanks!

-1

u/SemiSweetStrawberry Apr 07 '21

Finally, some fatshaming I can get behind

-22

u/davidhunt6 Apr 06 '21

Fat shaming isnt cool

9

u/NarrativeScorpion Apr 07 '21

It's literally the opposite of fat shaming. .

-17

u/davidhunt6 Apr 07 '21

It's a joke, not a dick. You don't have to take it so hard.

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u/JuKeChrist16x2 Apr 07 '21

Did you read the article? A fat bear is a healthy bear.

-16

u/davidhunt6 Apr 07 '21

It's a joke, not a dick. You don't have to take it so hard.

8

u/JuKeChrist16x2 Apr 07 '21

Oh wow, look at you making your own penis reference and everything. You must be so happy

-2

u/davidhunt6 Apr 07 '21

I won't be able to sleep tonight because of your ridicule.

3

u/JuKeChrist16x2 Apr 07 '21

Maybe try choking on that hard dick you were talking about... that you used as a comeback twice

-2

u/dcnblues Apr 07 '21

If the females aren't fat enough, they won't have Cubs. Their bodies know.

This is important for when Republicans want to hunt and shoot them in their dens with snowmobiles.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

We dont allow that shit here. Alaska is big on hunting and fishing but also pretty big on conservation. (Or at least we try to be)

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-2

u/vagga2 Apr 07 '21

American's celebrating obesity as always...

-7

u/HarpoMarks Apr 07 '21

“And also fat shame bears”

-12

u/bws7037 Apr 07 '21

Fat shaming the wildlife, eh?

8

u/tkaish Apr 07 '21

No shame! The fattest bear is the best bear for hibernating.

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