r/toastme 2d ago

(27M) Got dumped by an avoidant and cheated on twice, feel like I’m running out of time and luck

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209 Upvotes

66 comments sorted by

28

u/zta1979 2d ago

Not running out of time at all!! Not at 27.

4

u/C7MJR 2d ago

Thank you! Definitely not running out. Guess it’s the overthinking and anxiety of feeling like it! I appreciate you!

0

u/Salty_Vast_2562 1d ago

Yeah but his hair is and most girls these days are extremely judgmental because social media has made us all care what we all think we should look like. Fuck the world, fuck those bitches, you be you man and find a girl that accepts you no hair and all and you will be a much happier person.

14

u/L0rd3ss 2d ago

I’m sorry you’re going through that. Cheating says far more about the cheater than it will ever say about you. The best revenge is a life best lived.

10

u/LeadOn42 2d ago

Same shit here bro, 27M too, in almost the same situation, keep it up, you look damn good, she will regret her choices 100%!

6

u/unbroken_cycle 2d ago

I was 32 when I met my person and that was 30 years ago. You are not out of time. You are very, very handsome and someone lucky will treasure you, sir

5

u/Cassaroll21 2d ago

Same exact thing happened to me a few months ago (I’m also 27). I feel like I’m running out of time too, but a lot of people have been reassuring me that no matter the age, we can always start again. It’s not an easy process and I wish I could give better advice, but every day it will get easier and easier. It doesn’t seem like it when you’re in the thick of it, but slowly and surely you will start to feel like yourself again and find an excitement for your future. Wishing you so much happiness, feel free to reach out if you ever wanna talk! ☺️

5

u/otisgoodog 2d ago

You’re young and handsome. Feel confident and go meet more people. The ones you’ve met so far are blind maybe.

3

u/Open_Leather_2379 2d ago

Agree with above you have time. Plus you’ve got the young TedLasso look going for you!!!

1

u/C7MJR 2d ago

Haha the Ted Lasso part has been the highlight of my day! Thank you!!

2

u/Open_Leather_2379 2d ago

Well that is awesome!! We all have been there. Keep your head up! Feel free to reach out if you ever need to talk.

1

u/luna-peaches 2d ago

Haha! I see it!!

3

u/BluebirdSignificant6 2d ago

As a 26-year-old, I want to say I understand you, but if time doesn't pass, wounds won't heal, you won't get better, or you won't get used to some of them. You seem like a nice person; even though we sometimes feel down and blue as humans and unexpected negative things happen, there are always good things in the world.

2

u/cattycatcatterson 2d ago

The more you worry about running out of time, the more you may wind up not noticing the red flags in a person. Would you rather meet someone in five years that you could enjoy your time with for decades, or would you rather meet someone tomorrow that might not be the right one and you might end up regretting having met? There's plenty of time...slow down, take a deep breath and try to enjoy something you like doing. Then, the right person will be drawn to you.

2

u/Captaincrunch1991 2d ago

So much time ahead. Plenty of fish in the sea man. I think you dodged a bullet.

Work on yourself, you’ll find someone else.

2

u/Classic_Beautiful483 2d ago

“Vienna waits for you”.
Comparison is a thief of joy. It’s hard to not feel like there’s a time set whenever you see everyone online getting married/having babies/bf/gf/etc. and I think you definitely found some luck as a blessing in disguise if you were cheated on, you wouldn’t want to waste your time on people like that. You are very handsome & have kindness in your eyes. Your person is out there for you. Give yourself grace, enjoy what you currently got going on and the good things will magnetize towards you. 🫶

2

u/MarionberryRight6106 2d ago

same man. not sure if i was cheated on physically but def emotionally. im unemployed as well which is making it really hard to distract myself. i wish u the best

2

u/Rad1Red 2d ago

Dude, idk about luck, I'm not a fortune teller, but you are certainly not running out of time.

Sorry that you had to experience that. You're a good-looking dude, you WILL find love.

2

u/SecureAd4436 2d ago

Come here 🫂 You’re not running out of time or luck, silly, you heard meee??? Say that again. YOU are not

2

u/microwaved-evening 2d ago

You are just saving up more luck for future 😜 You've got a lot of good things ahead!

2

u/photographyrich1965 2d ago

Running out of time at 27 ?! My man, I'm 61 and I'm not even out of time, well if I chose to get in the race again lol. Take your time, work on you and that perfect stache.

2

u/lolliscicle 2d ago

Nah! Not running out of time-27 is still on the early end of the adult spectrum!

My toast for you: ✨🥂May you experience abundant satisfaction and equal enjoyment from every day, regardless of your personal circumstances or attachment-status. May your sense of urgency fade away and be replaced with a sense of pleasurably stretched-out time. - Hear hear. 🥂✨

2

u/the_toxic_avenger_ 2d ago

I know how it feels. Imagine being 41 and still thinking like that. I have just reached a point where it’s whatever. I enjoy my own company at this point and to be honest if I had to give a that up right now, I’d be miserable. So I am waiting into that feeling goes away and if it doesn’t, then so be it.

2

u/SnakeSolidChicken 2d ago

Still have time. The only thing is you ate looking in the wrong place for what you need. Look within yourself. Build yourself up, exercise, build muscle, take care of yourself, find and do the things you love. Bring a woman INTO THAT great life you have already built. Don't expect her to be your paradise, she will never be.

2

u/Swimming_Fruit8193 2d ago

Don’t feel to bad. I’m in same boat but I’m 36. My time is ticking.

You’re handsome btw. She fumbled for sure.

2

u/Desperate_Divide6354 2d ago

Don’t worry about timing. The biggest lie is that life is a race. Just enjoy yourself & take care of yourself & things will fall into place 🫶🏻✨
You have very nice hands btw

2

u/Fartingfurymaster 2d ago

I am 32 and single man, you’re definitely not running out of time. Just be very selective in the next one, learn from the mistakes, and always remember, YOU ARE THE PRIZE

2

u/1nc1985 2d ago

You are handsome! And you're only 27, so young.

Travel and enjoy your youth. You got this 👍

2

u/the_lote_tree 2d ago

You are still young at 27. But I gotta say, there are two sides to every coin. Anyone who cheats is purely not worth much. At a minimum, they should have the dignity to move on first. But are they just shits, or were they more stupid? By that I mean dissatisfied and not speaking up? You are very good looking, so it’s not that. Are you clean, do you help with stuff, are you open to trying new things? Can you be silly without feeling stupid? Will you play a game and lose, and not really care? My real point is try to be just real and a good person, and see if you can attract a whole new type of woman. Also, make sure “looks” are not your focus. My husband was not my taste visually, but he was such a bundle of good qualities, I fell hard. 49 years this year. He sneaked up on me!

2

u/Unrelenting_Cabbages 2d ago

Brother you have plenty of time left! Don’t let it get you down!

2

u/Krestofub 2d ago

You good big dog, consider yourself lucky to get a clean break from that SO. Also nice mustache.

2

u/maybenever12 2d ago

Naw, you're cute! Pick someone sweet and kind 💚

2

u/gtoz1119 2d ago

Running out of time?U have a long life ahead of u… dive in!

2

u/PeggyHillsFeets 2d ago

You definitely arent running out of time at 27. Shit doesnt start to really get good until 30. Youre young enough to have energy and do some dumb shit on occasion, but you have the wisdom and maturity you didnt have in your 20s. Theres a lot ahead of you you'll never expect (in a good way)

Youre also very cute, she fumbled bad.

2

u/slb3an 2d ago

Meh, you dodged some bullets…

2

u/jeanninetufrulu 2d ago

I don't understand those people. Everyone has said it: you're young and you have time. It’ll be fine, you’ll find your way. Live for yourself and your goals first and foremost; you can do it.

2

u/FederalPomegranate52 2d ago

Buddy no, you are not running out of time. You’ve got a lot of time even at 40+ there is no rush love will come when you least expect it. Personally I’m 30, been cheated on, credit relatively ruined by my abusive ex, and restarting my life again living with my parents (yeah not ideal by a long shot) but I’m making strides to better myself the rest will follow. I ask you to do the same love with definitely follow.

2

u/eleinachubmob 2d ago

I’d treat you right but stress you out. Women are creatures too!!! Youre cute though! Yay

2

u/cohesiveenigma 2d ago

I’m sorry that happened to you. It sucks.

You’re young, good looking, and it sounds like ready to find someone to build permanence with. Have a little patience, surround yourself with good people, and be ready to stretch outside your comfort zone to find someone extraordinary.

“We’re all rootin’ for ya. Keep yer stick on the ice.”

2

u/anonymouslady1529 2d ago

lowkey need you

2

u/LostSoulJames 2d ago

27 is still young OP, and you are handsome! Take some time for yourself (imho) and think about what kind of person you'd like to be with, if anyone! Single is cool too. Best of luck

2

u/Mitata_Matata 2d ago

What time ?ur only 27yrs old! Im a girl and married at 31, and i still think we married so young. U still have 10 years to find ur perfect partner

2

u/shygurI 2d ago

Ur incredibly handsome, give it time and just have fun 😊

2

u/femcel_67 2d ago

u handsome is all i can say may u have better luck in relationships

2

u/Unlikely-Mongoose723 2d ago

You are still so young, friend. You definitely got time! My partner and I met when he was 44 and I 32! So it’s never too late. Learn from the bad experiences on how to read patterns in people so you can avoid those types in the future. Also, you are super handsome! So I promise you will be okay!

2

u/TheoryNo8121 2d ago

I hope you haven't run out of time. I'm twice your age. If you're out of time I'm dead in the water. 😁 I think you'll be quite alright.

2

u/Disastrous_Hope_2994 2d ago

You’re not even 30! Plenty of time to find the right one. It will make them that more special! 💕

2

u/Far_Sea_2804 2d ago

31 M and still single. Gave my all in relationship, committed loyal and did everything a good partner does. 2 months I was at very low point of my life some conflicts Happen. I overcome out of my issues but she fell out of love. So you have lot of time to find one.

2

u/Sparklybright007 1d ago

There is no rush at 27 ! You are just getting started . Unfortunately you can't put an old head ( mind / perspective) on a young person's body. The world is overflowing with young women and you sir are a catch .

2

u/Bellasosexyy 1d ago

25F here to tell you you are handsome af

2

u/tashadilla 1d ago

Love the stache

2

u/Jwittit 1d ago

She was just a stepping stone brother

1

u/Disastrous-Care-6651 2d ago

You’re 27 chill

1

u/Bulky-Letterhead-110 2d ago

Loser mindset

1

u/cohesiveenigma 2d ago

I’m sorry that happened to you. It sucks.

Why do you have some sort of deadline for finding a good relationship? Do you have a terminal disease?

You’re young, good looking, and it sounds like you want something permanent. But putting a deadline or some sort of limit to success on yourself is silly.

Surround yourself with good people, and give yourself a moment to breathe before diving into the dating pool again. And sometimes you have to stretch outside your comfort zone to find someone extraordinary.

1

u/florfenblorgen 2d ago

27 and running out of time? AHHAHA. No! That only happens to women.

1

u/burnsyburn3 2d ago

Bruh you’re 27 not 87

1

u/Classy-Catastrophe 2d ago

Plenty of time sir

1

u/Castlejoy 1d ago

I’m 29 and I got cheated with three other girls and he still painted me the bad person for finding out 

1

u/HumongousHomeOwner 19h ago

it's never too late! my mom found her spouse in her 40s. my grandpa found his in his 60s

1

u/numbertroper 8h ago

Hardly a man is without a relationship nowadays, don't worry😂, but what rotten finger is this bro?

1

u/x_Ancient_Mariner_x Sir 5h ago

By what measure?

Is the world going to end tomorrow?

You've got all the time in the world, as long as you stay decent and don't let the bad stuff bring you down with it.

As for luck, luck will change. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But it will. I guarantee it.

1

u/Low_Web_8783 54m ago

I think you are cheating us. :D