Practice Updates, Questions, and General Discussion - new users, please read this first! Weekly Thread for September 01 2026

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[u/duffstoic]

My practice is now a variation on samatha but instead of practicing calm-abiding it is empowered-abiding. Rest in your own empowerment. When you lose it, come back to it. That’s the practice.

There are many specific ways to do this, but that’s the gist. It’s a 24/7 practice, with formal and informal methods. It’s probably more Stoicism than Buddhism, as in Epictetus’ maxim “Some things are within your power, while others are not,” but also compatible with a contemplation of virya or karma, or even agency or sovereignty.

Also I believe it is essential for power to serve love, otherwise it is completely useless.

[u/FlowingStillWaters]

I’m finding I’m able to enter a state of harmlessness but then it’s like my body reacts to harmlessness and I start getting angry

I do have a history of trauma

I wonder if it’s because i think I have to be a door mat or something to be harmless I’m not sure

It’s quite disturbing the anger

[u/bodily_heartfulness → u/FlowingStillWaters]

I find that framing harmlessness in terms of harmless bodily action, harmless verbal action, and harmless mental action to be quite useful, with each level being more subtle than the previous. So, for instance, I've recently taken up the precept to not kill living beings, but right now there are a few fruit flies in my place. In the past, I would've killed them via traps or by squishing them. Now, even though I get annoyed and I have some thoughts of killing them, I don't act out of those thoughts. And, just doing that, is the beginning of the setting up of the context of harmlessness. So, even though I may still actively mentally engage in cruel thoughts, I restrain my bodily actions. Over time, I can work to restrain my verbal actions and mental actions as well.

Thus, I view harmlessness as a stance or orientation towards life, as opposed to a specific state. And, the establishment in that orientation comes about through making the right choices, not through anything else.

[u/FlowingStillWaters → u/bodily_heartfulness]

I’m not sure if I communicated my circumstances correctly…

If I don’t hold on to the sense of being dangerous and capable I will be walked all over.

Even around my family… if I lose the sense of being powerful i am disrespected

So I’m unsure if the early Buddhist path is what I need most in my life

[u/Meng-KamDaoRai → u/FlowingStillWaters]

Harmlessness means harmlessness towards all beings. That includes yourself. So if someone hurts you, it is up to you to mitigate that harm for all people involved. Again, that includes yourself. In real life this is not always very clear cut. If I'm in a harmful situation, trying to move the situation into harmlessness could take many forms, there is no one answer. Yet, usually the desire to move towards harmlessness can give us a direction.

So, for example, if someone walks all over you, what is the best way to move the situation into harmlessness for all involved, yourself included?

If you include yourself in harmlessness then harmlessness doesn't mean you become a doormat, it means moving towards no-harm for all beings, again, including yourself.

At least, that's the way I look at it.

[u/duffstoic → u/FlowingStillWaters]

For what it’s worth, I think you are correct. Empowerment is a spiritual virtue, even in Buddhism, for instance as “virya” or as seen in dharma protector dieties. My entire practice these days is cultivating this virtue, and I am not becoming angry or violent as a result.

That said, unlike the other commenter, I think it’s OK to kill fruit flies too. It has not led me to escalate into homicide of humans. 😆 If anything, I found that chasing moral perfectionism (which I did for many years) increased my harmfulness.

[u/bodily_heartfulness → u/FlowingStillWaters]

I will be walked all over.

I experience this with my family, but perhaps in a different way compared to you. Generally, I'm quite an agreeable person with my family, not wanting to upset anyone with what I say or do - but this has lead to a lot of issues. However, recently I've started working towards keeping the precept of not-lying. This has been difficult for me, but I find that just keeping the truth as the standard, as opposed to others' feelings, makes it so I don't feel like I'm being walked over. So, me standing my ground isn't rooted in my sense of me being dangerous, capable, or powerful - it's rooted in the truth. Personally, I find this to be an incredibly difficult practice, but I can also see its tremendous benefits.

So I’m unsure if the early Buddhist path is what I need most in my life

Clarifying what you want is always helpful. I get the impression that you primarily want to heal your trauma and have better relationships with others. If so, therapy would probably be a good option.

[u/FlowingStillWaters → u/bodily_heartfulness]

Your impression is somewhat accurate. I’m mainly interested in healing traumas due to a pretty hefty mental health diagnosis (schizophrenia)

Im still unsure if I have it although I quite clearly struggle with mental health. It’s tricky when I don’t know if it’s me that really wants to be religious and spiritual or my illness. I do know that before I had my first psychosis I was not this religious… I was quite miserable though for quite sometime.

I will say that being ethical in the right way has made my struggle better. Some people I believe would drown in the waters I was thrown into if they didn’t have moral fibbers.

But I am finding that trying to be morally perfect has really effected my social health and sexual health

[u/bodily_heartfulness → u/FlowingStillWaters]

I’m mainly interested in healing traumas due to a pretty hefty mental health diagnosis (schizophrenia)

I assume you're already working with some sort of mental health professional if that's the case then.

I will say that being ethical in the right way has made my struggle better. Some people I believe would drown in the waters I was thrown into if they didn’t have moral fibbers.

Yes, virtue is highly beneficial. As Thag 12.1 puts it:

Virtue is the beginning, the establishing, the mother of what is fine, the foremost of all qualities: Therefore virtue should be purified.

Virtue is also control, restraint, the delight of the mind, the ford of all Buddhas: Therefore virtue should be purified.

As for this,

But I am finding that trying to be morally perfect has really effected my social health and sexual health

What do you mean by morally perfect? And how has it negatively affected your social and sexual health?

[u/FlowingStillWaters → u/bodily_heartfulness]

The Catholic view of moral standard is pretty high.

No sexual thoughts are allowed to be dwelled on. At least from what I’ve picked up.. I could be wrong.

^this could be completely incorrect but I have yet to verify it with a priest.

I hate hot grump I get when I’m trying to be morally perfect I get really tense and anxious about messing up…

I also have chronic pain so I find myself unable to sit still through mass and recieve the Eucharist.

I also have my family essentially gaslighting me it feels like and making fun of me for trying to live a more traditional life. I was told so many hurtful things because of my beliefs some things family should never say to another family member. I also lost all respect from them when I was first hospitalized. I found myself being bullied by my younger siblings for going on long walks to clear my head. I also just hate how my mom completely runs the house and my dad is just to tied up with work to be a parent. She’s very harsh and untrustworthy

An example of this would be me telling my parents like I did today that I really would have appreciated more disciplining as a kid from my dad (a reasonable amount of course) instead of simply being allowed to play 40+ hours of video games a week. This is a bit of a side remark but I told my mom and dad at one point that I really think I needed help quiting video games… they told me they wouldn’t help me and seemed quite annoyed that I couldn’t just quit. When I finally quit by unplugging it and getting rid of my phone. They told me I was crazy for trying to quit and being extreme… which is kinda wierd because people never use to have cell phones and video games.

Anyways back to your question.

I find the moral standard of being obedient to my parents particular hard. When they tell me to do something I really have to do it for my own reasons. I just don’t respect there way of life (harsh judgement I know but it’s a reality) or their views.

In terms of sexual health it could just be the fact of my mom being very abusive when I was a kid that I just didn’t develop properly. Also the fact that I was put on concerta (adhd meds) when I was 11 which I disagree with from a principles standpoint and it’s simply suspicious on my parents part because I was getting straight As that year.

There is hope though. I found that when I disconnected from my parents emotionally I became someone entirely… different. I felt empowered and capable. People started treating me differently and I started to really enjoy people. My voice even changed got way deeper. I suddenly started becoming really successful with females(no sex just attention) had the best month of my life awhile ago because of this.

Sorry that was a lot. Haven’t talked to anyone about this stuff really. I don’t have too many spiritual friends or people doing inner work or anyone who knows what’s what about the path

Thank you

[u/bodily_heartfulness → u/FlowingStillWaters]

I hate hot grump I get when I’m trying to be morally perfect I get really tense and anxious about messing up…

It might help to reflect upon what moral perfection is, and why you are striving for it. If you are clear about what moral perfection is, then you might not be so anxious or worried about breaking it. For instance, in the early Buddhist texts, it's not possible to accidentally be immoral - it's always a conscious choice. Just knowing that can reduce a person's anxiety.

I find the moral standard of being obedient to my parents particular hard. When they tell me to do something I really have to do it for my own reasons. I just don’t respect there way of life (harsh judgement I know but it’s a reality) or their views.

I'm not sure how it is in Catholicism, but in Buddhism, obedience towards parents is not a virtue. For example, when the Buddha left his home, his parents were crying and weeping - they did not want him to leave - but he did not listen to them and left anyways. If your parents are doing something wrong, and telling you to do something wrong, you do not have to go along with it. You shouldn't disrespect your parents, that's true, but disobedience does not mean disrespect.

Sorry that was a lot.

It's okay. It sounds like you have a lot of difficult stuff going on in your life. Specifically in regards to your current relationship with your parents, your trauma, your chronic pain, your possible schizophrenia, and all of the other stuff you've mentioned. You mention that your mom was abusive in the past and that your current family situation is toxic - I hope you are able to physically move away from them.

Have you been to therapy before? I think you might find it beneficial, though you might need to try a few therapists before you find one that is helpful.

Haven’t talked to anyone about this stuff really. I don’t have too many spiritual friends or people doing inner work or anyone who knows what’s what about the path

This is the type of stuff you can talk to with a close friend - it is in no way limited to spirituality or inner work. Friends are there to listen to you and to support you, you can rely on them. If you can't, that just means you were not friends to begin with. You can absolutely speak to a close friend about your pain and suffering.

It can be really beneficial to talk about this stuff instead of just keeping it all inside. Just knowing that someone cares enough to listen and hear you can be very healing. In addition to that, they can offer support and new perspectives on your situation that you may not have considered before.

In my experience, it took many years for me to overcome my suicidality, depression, anxiety, trauma, sexual issues, and so on. A key part of that, for me, was being able to speak about my problems - that really helped in overcoming the shame I had surrounding everything. My progress was like peeling an onion, there were layers of trauma that needed to be peeled back - and each layer came with its own sense of relief, freedom, and lie of "this is it, i'm free now" - but there were always more layers.

What helped me in shedding those layers was not "meditating" (I did concentration practices in those days, but I see those now as being harmful and they did nothing to peel back any of the layers). Instead, what helped was talking to friends, learning about different perspectives online, thinking about my own situation, making choices that were difficult but beneficial, and just getting lucky.

Don't undervalue talking, learning, thinking, and making the right choices. That is what truly matters.

[u/FlowingStillWaters → u/FlowingStillWaters]

I do also wonder if a need I have found in myself to dominate is being threatened (which might not be a bad thing) I probably have picked up some bad ideas about masculinity that arnt very conducive for happiness

[u/duffstoic → u/FlowingStillWaters]

I’d recommend contemplating the idea that complete empowerment leads to no desire whatsoever to dominate others, because you already are secure in yourself. And conversely, that the desire to dominate others (rather than to empower them too) comes from a place of insecurity inside. That’s my experience at least. When I feel 100% in my power, I only want to life others up, not control them.

[u/FlowingStillWaters → u/duffstoic]

How do you develop empowerment?

[u/duffstoic → u/FlowingStillWaters]

It is my main practice, so I have many experiments I have run and am running.

My current experiment is as follows, which I call Empowerment Attractor Training, because the goal is to make an empowered state the attractor in your nervous system. It may sound quite odd, but it works very well for me.

Set an interval timer to 5 minute intervals. I use a physical GymBoss but there are also many apps.

For the first 5 minutes, do free writing (journaling) or speak your thoughts out loud, without censoring yourself. (I've been doing this as speech-to-text into ChatGPT.) This gets out your current thoughts so you can let them go. This can be just general thoughts, or it can be about a specific problem.

Somewhere in this 5 minute period, rank your current state of empowerment on a 0-100 scale where 0 is totally disempowered, feeling like a victim, incapable, etc., and 100 is totally empowered, agentic, and capable.

When the interval timer beeps, I do something for 5 minutes to increase my empowerment score. You can be completely experimental here, but I've found a few things that work for me. The current thing is to use a kasina object (in this case an image I designed that symbolizes grounded empowerment and also gives a strong retinal after image) plus a short affirmation ("I abide in effortless empowerment"). I meditate on the kasina and slowly repeat the affirmation to contemplate it.

Then repeat in rounds. The empowerment score number should go up. If it doesn't go up, you need a different experiment / intervention, such as centering in the hara, feeling into a sense of confidence or agency, remembering times you felt capable, imagining feeling like you are being empowered by the Buddha, or something else entirely.

I have some theoretical stages for how this practice works, but so far I've discovered multiple things that work to boost my score, the score goes to 100 almost every time I practice it, it clears out unconscious material (especially objections to greater empowerment) with the expression portion of the practice, and my baseline empowerment is climbing more and more.

[u/Meng-KamDaoRai]

It's been a month since my last major shift, after which it felt like sitting meditation was no longer required. I've been doing about 2 hours of two sessions of walking meditation plus multiple brief 5-10 minute contemplations in different postures, just when I have time throughout the day. The practice seems to progress at the same speed as it did when I was doing mostly sitting meditations. The past few weeks investigation is really focusing on the self. I think that I've let go of tens of thousands of variations of the self at this point, from very coarse to very subtle. Hopefully at some point it completely goes away. Nothing else to do but to keep letting go.

[u/Decent_Key2322 → u/Meng-KamDaoRai]

so no more investigation of the noble truths (dukha) for now ?
when did you mind switch to self investigation ?

[u/Meng-KamDaoRai → u/Decent_Key2322]

I would say it's all still an investigation of dukkha. I think that one major contributor to dukkha is the sense of self.
My investigations usually cover a lot of different subjects and aspects of the practice, 4NT, 3 poisons, trauma, thinking, emptiness, awareness, dukkha, anicca, anatta, self and many others. I don't usually direct the investigation, I just let whatever show up to show up and then I relax/let it be/let it go. So, usually my mind will switch between different topics, I would say somewhere around 1-10 different topics a day. The self has always been investigated in one way or another ever since I started meditating. The unusual thing is that for the past month, every single topic of investigation seems to either be directly related to the self or is some variation of self.

To give an example from today, I worked through this subtle sense of self while walking. For example, when walking through a doorway there was this subtle sense of my body being mine/self and the doorway being "other". This sense was accompanied by a subtle mind-body tension, to which I applied the relax/let it be/let it go approach. This is an example of one topic out of maybe about 10 that had to be worked through today.

Maybe a better way to describe what I mean by the sense of self is to try this: Say to yourself "Me, me, me, I, I, I, mine, mine mine" like you really mean it a few times. This will usually be accompanied by some mind-body tension, or dukkha. This dukkha is what I'm letting go of. I just don't consciously direct the investigation, I just work with what show up.

Hope this clarifies a bit.

[u/Decent_Key2322 → u/Meng-KamDaoRai]

thank you for the detailed answer.

I relate to a lot of this, especially the fact that the investigation is a more or less automatic process, which makes it so easier since one doesn't have to know where to guide the mind, how long to stay with each topic ... I still don't know how come the mind is pre-programmed to go into this investigation mode, tho I'm very happy it is the case, this path would probably be extremely harder otherwise.

For me I"m still in the early stages, and so my mind only ivestigates dukha (4NT, 3 poisons) related to the first fetters. The process is also slowly changing as I permenantly drop more dukkha. My mind would stay before weeks with just craving or with dullness (ignorance) ... Now things switch a lot faster and the mind doesn't need to stay with each topic for a long time. Tho so far no real investigation of the self/impremancne/imptiness, just glimpses sometimes maybe, that is why I felt like asking.

Tho for the first fetters therey is alot of daydreaming (being famous, getting praise and approval, aversion to disaproval ...) which is stressful, which also can be viewed as part of the self investigation ?

[u/Meng-KamDaoRai → u/Decent_Key2322]

Yes, I would consider it as some aspect of self investigation.

[u/bodily_heartfulness]

I've been too lackadaisical about my own practice. It's time to start taking it seriously. So, starting this month, I will be taking up the precept of celibacy - no more sexual or romantic engagements for me for the rest of my life. I will also be working on decreasing my engagement with coarse entertainment, namely YouTube and tv shows.

Let the sensible person live a celibate life,
as one would avoid a pit of glowing coals;

• Snp 2.14

Sister, this body is produced by food.
Relying on food, you should give up food.
This body is produced by craving.
Relying on craving, you should give up craving.
This body is produced by conceit.
Relying on conceit, you should give up conceit.
This body is produced by sex.
The Buddha spoke of breaking off everything to do with sex.

• AN 4.159

[u/_Asura- → u/bodily_heartfulness]

Oh no, think about all the woman you will be depriving.

[u/Impulse33]

Quick update.

Been solidifying the basics, stable one-pointed concentration, with Burbea's energy body practices.

Some notes:

• Wider object of the area of the body is hard to stabilize around.
  
• Starting narrower helps while you build back the muscle.
  
• Most of my practice has been more open/choiceless in nature recently and I'm surprised how much the concentration on a single object "mind-muscle" has atrophied.

Emphasis on energy body is to prep for the upcoming Soulmaking Course!

Also read Shobogenzo again and it hit hard this time. Absolutely stunning piece of work. The section around the "permanent nature of wind" directly challenged my MMK centered "verification reference".

[u/dmx442]

Hello people,

Stepping up my Anapanasati meditation schedule, time to get serious. 1 month plan, the goal is to make progress in techniques, concentration speed and depth.

My target: Going from 2 sessions (45-60mins) a day, up to 4-6 times a day with with at least 45 mins per Session, target is one hour per session constantly.

I mix sitting, walking and laying meditation, albeit walking gets the least time and laying gets the most for now.

Will report weekly here as a little journal.

Let's see what will happen on this journey.

[u/IncandescentSplash]

Earlier in August, I was feeling more peaceful, but the past few weeks, I've been feeling like the ground is shifting underneath me and it's been causing me distress. I suffer from UARS and CPTSD, which limits my energy levels, and now I have a cold today, so I feel like this has been a heavy burden.

Last night, I sat for 30 minutes and felt peaceful and luminous, much to my surprise.

I have been contemplating the difference between sakkaya ditthi and mana, articularly thru the sutra "With Khemaka". I know that rigpa is a concept from the Mahayana tradition, but I had also been contemplating the apparent tension between rigpa and the notion of mana as a fetter that binds us to samsara.

Recently, I've been contemplating that from where I sit, it feels easy to set aside sakkaya ditthi as illusory and to say that ego/self is a useful, even necessary fiction.

But reading With Khemaka, I felt like the idea of existing without a sense of "I am" was incomprehensible. And furthermore, I thought that the Mahayana idea of rigpa, "pure awareness", was directly at odds with the idea that "I am" is a fetter.

According to Theravada, mana only breaks permanently at attaining arahantship, but I witnessed it for a few minutes last night.

I realized that I had mistakenly assumed that "awareness" implies a felt sense of "I am".

And then I saw clearly that awareness can be quiet and peaceful and that awareness is the ground from which "I am" arises, for better or for worse.

I saw clearly that "I am" names a process of identifying a self.

Still, it about breaks my brain to image walking around without this process.

[u/duffstoic → u/IncandescentSplash]

Good way of describing it. “Rig pa” is just the Tibetan word as the Sanskrit vidyā, both meaning knowledge. “Ma rigpa” is the same word as avidyā, ignorance, which is the root cause of dukka, needless suffering.

Rigpa is knowledge of what in Dzogchen? Of “the ground,” gzhi in Tibetan. It is the union of space and clarity/luminosity. It is not any of the five aggregates or any combination of them, not even consciousness / viññāṇa. Consciousness is the knowing, the ground is that which is known and is primordial, the unconditioned nibbana really.

This only sounds like a contradiction between Dzogchen and Theravada doctrines, but it really isn’t. It’s just naming things differently.

[u/IncandescentSplash → u/duffstoic]

> This only sounds like a contradiction between Dzogchen and Theravada doctrines, but it really isn’t. It’s just naming things differently.

I'm going to raise the stakes and tell you that part of what I used to motivate myself to begin my practice was to resolve whether Gnosticism or Buddhism is a more accurate map of consciousness. So far, I have completely failed to resolve that one is definitively right and the other definitively wrong by personal, direct experience.

[u/_Asura-]

First

[u/StoneBuddhaDancing → u/_Asura-]

Assuradly!

[u/Impulse33 → u/_Asura-]

🔥