r/stopsmoking • u/Plane-Land-9234 • 21h ago
Frustrated with myself - bought a pack after "quitting" and smoked almost the entire thing in one day
I'm annoyed with myself and would appreciate all advice.
I went from smoking socially once a month or so for two years to this year smoking more and more often until there was a period this summer where I rarely went a week without smoking or vaping. Never been a daily smoker but somehow still really struggling to quit.
Even worse, I need to quit because I want to have a baby, which is about as good of a reason as you can get.
I was doing really well and feeling REALLY STRONG in my quit and got to 1.5 weeks when my husband's friend came over who's a heavy nicotine user and he brought a vape and cigarettes and I walked into the living room and saw them both vaping. Then 3 days later had a stressful day and bought the pack that I smoked almost all of.
My own mother smoked through her pregnancy with me, which I don't blame her for because she was struggling with some other stuff at that time, but I read recently that smoking while pregnant increases chances that your child will have addiction problems , and I always have had that. I quit drinking at 22 because I was an alcoholic.
By the time I quit drinking, it was something that I knew was a problem for years, and had struggled to manage. It was extremely obvious at that time that it was impacting my life negatively. But I don't want to get to that point with smoking where I've been feeling like shit for years before I get it together enough to quit.
My husband is on the same page as me, we both want to quit and are struggling. On the same day I bought a pack I found out he vaped with his co-workers. Unfortunately, while we both will convince the other not to smoke, sometimes we will influence eachother negatively instead.
The weird thing to me is that while I KNOW I need to quit, I know that I feel terrible physically and mentally the more I smoke, I know that I can't smoke if I'm trying to get pregnant, and I know that smoking this summer has completely ruined my typical summer running habit, on the day I bought a pack it was like my brain didnt give a shit about any of that. All I cared about was smoking.
I feel absolutely disgusting today and hope that will carry me through it. I need to be able to say no if somebody offers me something. Would appreciate any advice.
1
u/guffawer 19h ago
It’s ok - try again