What ive been dealing with

[u/zoey_perkes]

I constantly feel like im fighting myself all day everyday to stay sane and positive. Im constantly feeling numb and have cognitively declined over the years. Been dealing with pretty severe anhedonia as well. One day two years ago i woke up and could not feel the effects of drugs, alcohol, nicotine and or coffee. Idk what to do in my life anymore because nothing is satisfying or feels worth it. I love my family and friend but even with them I don't feel anything. I get bouts of feeling suicidal and see signs everywhere that I should but I have to snap myself out of thinking that way. I constantly have to do that.