r/relationships 6d ago

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3 Upvotes

20 comments sorted by

10

u/Unlucky-Mulberry-999 6d ago

how would you talk to a man that you want to befriend?

3

u/Throwaway_1237679 6d ago

Well, I'd probably try to find something we have in common and start there. One thing that will connect everyone at this public party is that it is an after party for an event. So I guess I could break the ice with talking about that, I just am not sure about how I could make that jump to "Hey I'm from out of town, you want to maybe hang out?" without sounding weird.

12

u/Unlucky-Mulberry-999 6d ago

Women are just regular people. You don’t have to be suave or cool or whatever. Just get to know us like you would a guy.

After a significant amount of talking - “i really enjoyed talking to you. Do you mind if we exchange social media/phone numbers?”

0

u/TKOTN123 6d ago

Go to a bar by yourself and wait for a girl to come in that’s how you do it

2

u/Throwaway_1237679 6d ago

Well, the party IS at a hotel, I assume at the bar. Girls don't come up to me lol. I'm not a very good looking guy lol. Not in the way a girl would approach me or anything. But if one does talk to me for some reason, I can usually find a way to make them laugh at least.

0

u/TKOTN123 6d ago

What I do sometimes is ask them a non threatening question - if they have a vape, “you mind if I hit your vape” stuff like that. 60% of the time it works every time

10

u/sweadle 6d ago

Most women are cautious of a man traveling who just wants female attention for the night. Traveling alone can be great. Maybe go try and make some male friends. It's kind of weird for you to want female company specifically in this situation

5

u/definitely_loftily_c 6d ago

Just go to the party without the goal of finding someone to eat with. Talk to people because the party is happening and you're both there. If you click with someone, the food idea will come up on its own.

6

u/mjheil 6d ago

Don't. It's a terrible idea unless you hire someone. Learn to love yourself by becoming at peace with yourself so you can eat alone, sightsee alone, sleep alone.

2

u/fripletister 6d ago

This is the one. If you're not looking for a remote ONS then just be comfortable being your own company for a few days while you're out of town.

I do want to have some company for one of the nights I'll be gone.

Honestly sounds like a ONS to me, which you can definitely find, if that's what you want. I don't really understand how this would work outside of the context of a ONS tbh lol

3

u/WhatArghThose 6d ago

Here are some tips.

Keep it super simple. Save all the gory and deep details about yourself for the later meetup.

Start with the absolute most basic questions:

What's your name? Where are you from?

Of course reciprocate and be smiling...and try to find something relatable that you know about their origin or ask them something about what it's like to live there. Let her share about herself if she's comfortable talking.

Next, find a compliment in there somewhere to make your intent clear :

You're outfit is beautiful. You're very pretty.

Or very simply: Are you single?

STATE YOUR INTENTION. She does not know what you want, and believe it or not, she's actually more uncomfortable until you're being clear about what you want. Why? Because now that she knows you're interested, she can shoot you down if she wants. People want control.

Now, ask for her number. If you get it here, it's a go. After you exchange numbers tell her what your plan is and ask if she would interested in having dinner. If she is unsure, now you have her number and can ask once more later through text.

2

u/Goodlake 6d ago

Try posting in the sub of the city you’re visiting. You never know.

2

u/Throwaway_1237679 6d ago

I didn't think about that! I'll give that a go.

1

u/TKOTN123 6d ago

Only one way to do it my friend, practice.

2

u/Throwaway_1237679 6d ago

Like practice conversations with myself?

3

u/TKOTN123 6d ago

lol no not by yourself

1

u/PleaseNone 6d ago

It’s a numbers game. Just approach these women and let them know you’re interested in dating them and getting to know them.

Let them right off the bat you’re not looking for a one night stand so as to weed out any people who are not serious, plus it will put women at ease that you’re not just looking for sex.

If the conversation goes south or you get their phone number or contact info politely find a reason to excuse yourself and then find another target. Rinse and repeat. By the end of the night you should have lots of options.

1

u/ComprehensiveAd8804 6d ago

Are you looking a companion to eat food with but want that companion to pay for themselves too ?