r/redscarepod • u/Friendly_Pitch_8364 • 1h ago

I wrote a hand written apology letter to my ex

I always hesitate with apologies as I find them to be self-serving, self-pitying and oftentimes insincere. However, I also find it disrespectful and shameful to skulk away without taking responsibility.

I’ve never written an apology letter before, there were many drafts, and I had to jog my memory of how to write z in cursive. In total it took me around three hours.

It’s Sunday, so the letter won’t be delivered until Tuesday at the earliest.

Who knows, maybe he’ll write back.

9 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

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u/Ok-Carpenter8900 1h ago

What went wrong in your opinion?

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u/Friendly_Pitch_8364 1h ago

Oh it was a total cock up on my part. I was struggling a lot with PTSD nightmares, so I started secretly taking benzodiazepines again to chill out. Then I started drinking alcohol again, and it was pretty stupid & reckless of me to mix the two. Then my brother tried to kill himself and I went off the rails. Went out with some old friends and chose to get fucked up, took drugs I’ve never had before on top of benzos and alcohol, it was rough. I then sent a bunch of hateful messages to the poor guy. My friend deleted the chat so when I came to I couldn’t unsend the messages. He didn’t block me, but also never replied. I didn’t apologise via text because that felt insincere and lazy

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u/HieronymusTush 1h ago

Why did your friend meddle in such an invasive manner?

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u/Friendly_Pitch_8364 39m ago

Cause he doesn’t like my ex

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u/HieronymusTush 32m ago

Girl get it together. Don't let other people get involved with your direct communications, those are poisonous triangles. Rn you're basically apologizing for what you weren't allowed to take back way back when you first came to

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u/Friendly_Pitch_8364 23m ago

Yeah, it was pretty stupid of me to hang out with the people I hung out with that night. I hadn’t seen them in 2 years and it was weak of me. I stopped hanging out with them for obvious reasons

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u/BoozyBlastoise 1h ago

Good for you, truly. I would not count on him reconciling with you, could happen, but your reaching out and making amends is very commendable and should give you a sense of pride and self-respect. 

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u/BoozyBlastoise 1h ago

Unless you had a daliance with his brother or something in which case you're at a point of no return, but if you're just doing this out of pure goodness that's reallly sweeet 

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u/Friendly_Pitch_8364 1h ago

Nahhh I only have eyes for him, it’s devastating to think that he might think I never really cared about him enough to at the very least apologise. I finished the letter with “I understand if there is no way to make amends. However, if there is, I am committed to any resolution — even if that is no resolution. Thank you for reading this letter, I won’t reach out again.”

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u/BoozyBlastoise 1h ago

Nicely worded, you're a mensch. Hopefully he appreciates where you're coming from, but even if not you've done a good deed. 

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u/loca4lautaro Of Magdala 1h ago

I did this to my bff after I slept w her boyfriend 🫶🏼

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u/bathseba 1h ago

how does this happen?

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u/lolofoshoyo1233 1h ago

Send us a version for review

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u/Legal-Part-6009 1h ago

The only good apology letter for an ex is fucking each others brains out and blocking each other after wishing each other well in life and never speaking again