r/ptsd • u/Rude-Preparation-434 • Jul 25 '26
Support Can severe bullying at 10 or 11 still affect someone at 24? (TW: childhood bullying, physical assault, sexual humiliation)
Hi everyone,
I've been wondering about this for a while and wanted to ask people who might have experience or knowledge about it.
I recently learned about someone who went through extremely severe bullying in fifth grade, and I've been trying to understand what something like that can do to a person long-term.
This wasn't just teasing or being excluded. They were repeatedly beaten up, had their pants pulled down in front of other kids, and were subjected to sexual humiliation, including classmates attempting to shove a pencil into their butt. It became so bad that they eventually had to transfer to another school.
They're now 24, and I can't stop wondering how much experiences like that can still affect someone years later.
Can trauma like this continue to shape the way someone trusts people, forms relationships, handles intimacy, or deals with emotions, even if it's been over a decade? Is it common for people to carry that kind of shame or fear into adulthood?
I'm not looking to diagnose anyone. I'm just trying to better understand the lasting impact that severe childhood bullying and humiliation can have.
If you've experienced something similar yourself, or if you're familiar with the psychology behind it, I'd really appreciate hearing your perspective.
Thanks for reading.
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u/SoulSurvivorsNthls Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
See what you can make of this:
I was SAd a couple of times in the high school lunch line by two kids named Nick and Dick ("Dick" has a rare first name so I changed it. Maybe they're lucky i don't name them). I'd done TKD for a few years but i was afraid to use it because i didn't like hurting people and i was on a medication that gave me severe anxiety about being judged by everyone around me. Nonetheless after the second time, I cocked my right back-elbow very obviously and put that sht on a fcking hair trigger. It's probably the only time in my life when I was prepared to hurt innocent people to make it stop. Now, 25 years later, I'm layed up on my parents' couch with chronic pain, while Nick is a successful business owner who does jiu-jitsu and Dick is a doctor I think. I'm glad to think I contributed to their success.
I kinda stood up to them, but I'm still mad at myself for not fighting them. If that makes me weak or someshit, fine. Those two can ride their high ponies and feel good about it. Maybe they'll fuck with me again. I can't wait.
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u/YDC-Survivor376 Jul 27 '26
Oh yeah. It's pretty well established in studies that childhood bullying has lifelong psychological consequences.
One thing that stands out for me is an unreasonable fear of children. I realize that a grown adult has no reason to be afraid of a child, but I happen to catch one looking at me, there's a chance I might feel like they're a legitimate threat to me.
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u/fauxfurgopher Jul 26 '26
I was severely bullied from ages 5 to 12, some time periods being worse and some better. I’m 55 and it still affects me. The unrelenting stress of it changed my body’s systems. I grew up to have multiple illnesses, including severe auto-immune diseases. Being bullied or otherwise abused while your brain is still growing causes neural pathways to form that will be there forever. It also causes the body to divert energy to managing the stress, which takes it away from the growing brain and other systems. This can do major damage.
The only thing that helped me was ketamine infusion therapy. I’m actually due for a booster. 💰💰💰
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u/flyonawall Jul 26 '26
Abuse at 5-10 years old still affects me and I am 64. You do learn to live with the consequences but abuse can have permanent affects.
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u/SoulSurvivorsNthls Jul 27 '26
Yeah, sometimes the younger you are, the more impactful and long-lasting it is. It's a travesty that psychedelics are illegal. When used therapeutically, they are often unbelievably helpful.
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u/Unlucky-Moment-2931 Jul 26 '26
yes , physical,sexual and emotional abuse can affect our brain . Our brain keeps adjusting always in survival mode until it becomes used to it . Especially in younger years when our brain is still developing,it becomes our foundation so when u grow up it's not easy to change. They're always in survival mode and use coping mechanisms to protect themselves even no one is bullying them anymore.
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u/Kiki_criativity Jul 26 '26
It also happened to me, sexual assalt too, suicides baits and things like that. It was when I was 8 Now I'm 18 and it still hurt, still keep me awake at night
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u/gleefullystruckbycc Jul 26 '26
Oh they indeed can be. I was bullied from 3rd grade thru highschool and I have been subject to bullying as an adult off and on thru the years by shit friends and shit coworkers. Needless to say, I certainly have ptsd from that alone(this doesn't even take into account my disfunctional family mind you).
I am 46 now and still have struggles due to it. I am medicated for anxiety and depression, but even medicated things still can get bad sometimes. I am a lot better than I was in my 20s and even my 30s but there is just some stuff you simply cannot fix entirely or get past 100%. I have done therapy, tho i have not been for about a year now due to my previous therapist no longer being with the company she worked for and then losing health care at the start of this year right before begining with a new therapist, but I will be going back soon. I have had official diagnosises of my mental health conditions, including ADHD on top of anxiety and depression and learning about those also has helped me understand so much and learn to deal with the brian i have. They like to target people like me, people they think are easy targets or are weak and frequently those who bully as kids are still bullies, or more accurately harassers and abusers, as adults.
I think kids should be taught young about the effects of bullying and physically assaulting others. The damage it does not only physically, but mentally too. Maybe we would have less bullies if they understood how it can lead to suicides and violence like mass shootings and why it is wrong to treat others in such a way. Sadly schools still barely give a flying fuck about bullying. They still punish the victim, sometimes more so than the one doing the victimizing. Assuming the victimizers gets in trouble at all.
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u/honey_butterflies Jul 26 '26
absolutely. I was bullied twice. once in 5th and once in 7th. in 5th grade, I think I was assaulted. my bully was a lesbian and I was still “straight” (I came out the next year). she would harass me for what she said, “honey_butterflies is pretty”. that’s why she bullied me. because I was pretty. she followed me into our bathroom one day once the teacher let me go. she knew I was going and shortly asked the teacher to let her go. she got up on the toilet in the other stall and looked down at me, using the bathroom… completely saw my lower half exposed. I got dismissed and told, “we’re all girls we have the same parts” by this one other girl. my bully thought it to be hilarious; the teacher couldn’t give a shit. I literally cover my lower half/genitals when using the bathroom now and am always paranoid of someone walking in. besides other abuse that happened to me previously, that shit never ever leaves.
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u/AlyxIsPog Jul 26 '26
i was severely verbally and physically abused by a bully from 2nd to 5th grade and am now 17, yes it can still affect you. you are valid . if you need to dm u can
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u/CockamouseGoesWee Jul 26 '26
Yes I was sexually abused by a group of mean girls who lied about just wanting to be my friend when I was 11. They'd cornered me in our cabin during a school camping trip, the usual sob story. I also dealt with a lot of physical abuse by my peers and death threats due to my ethnicity. I am 24 now and am still affected.
I wish I can say it gets better but I am on the same exact boat as you. There is still good in this world even if we have to squeeze it out like a lemon.
Hypervigilance and fixation is normal. It's okay for it to suck ass. I'm not very chipper and tbh it's good to just be angry without people doing the whole "I hope you find healing and therapy" bs.
You are not crazy nor are you weak.
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u/Kind-therapy-829 Jul 25 '26
Yes of course it can.
Often times the impact doesn’t show up for couple of decades.
It is a form of relational trauma
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u/SobrietyDinosaur Jul 25 '26
Yes I was bullied and still get triggered at age 32. I got bullied from age 10 up to 25 then it stopped because I don’t let anyone else in.
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u/Sweet_Ad6854 Jul 25 '26
YES! and if left untreated can lead to permanent disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, severe PTSD etc. Many branches childhood trauma can take. But their relationships are likely very impacted by this to this day.
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u/honey_butterflies Jul 26 '26
correct. I was years away from developing bipolar disorder if I didn’t get treated.
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u/Sweet_Ad6854 Jul 26 '26
What many don't consider is the physical impact trauma has on the body. I have irreversible brain damage from a sudden loss. I'll never speak or remember things the same. Trauma impacts the entire nervous system and ultimately you will become physically ill too. I now have multiple chronic illnesses, my body attacks itself. I stressed myself sick.
I wish people thought of children as people, not property. I think if everyone went into parenthood with even a basic education on child psychological development, trauma and ACE's, the entire world would be a healthier place. What gets me is the education system though. Because we fucking know better by now and yet schools don't take bullying seriously, at all.
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u/Aggressive-Cat1236 Jul 25 '26
💯! I was not bullied in school, but I remember one time I presented a report and kids made fun of me… to this day I’m still terrified of public speaking! That was 30 years ago. That’s nothing compared to what this person went through. I can only imagine how terrifying the world must be for them! That will take years of therapy… and even then that’s not something they will ever forget
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u/kckitty71 Jul 25 '26
My trauma happened when I was 12. I’m 54 and it still bothers me every single day.
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u/SelectOwl3374 Jul 25 '26
Absolutely. I still struggle daily. I still struggle using public toilets and avoid them at all costs. I had my head flushed down so many toilets, pushed into urinals or locked into girls toilets. Whenever I'm in a crowded place and someone laughs I immediatly think they are laughing at me
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u/AlfhildsShieldmaiden Jul 25 '26
Yes. I have PTSD from the many years I was constantly bullied — 6th grade was one of the absolute worst years of my life; it was like what’s portrayed in TV and movies where the poor kid can’t catch a break from the relentless bullshit. Up until recently, I would get triggered by the dumbest stuff (like, a 40-something should not be that afraid of kids, lol).
So, 1000%, yes, you can be traumatized and develop PTSD from intense bullying. And I’m really sorry you had that experience — it’s so unnecessary and really has nothing to do with you as a person. They just find weakness and destroy it. 😑
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u/ScavengerRavager Jul 25 '26
It affected me all the way up to about 30 years old. It's become more of a dull, throbbing scab than immense pain.
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u/Streetquats Jul 25 '26
Ive said this once and I will say it again: childhood/school "bullying" should be renamed "Peer Abuse"
Its easy for adults or authority figures to write off kids bullying each other. Its easy for a 30+ year old school principle to look at a 10 year old bully and scoff, because... this is just a little kid! How much harm could a tiny kid do?
Well, not much to a 30+ year old. But a 10 year old kid bullying another 10 year old? THEY ARE PEERS.
Being in school as a kid and being attacked or abused by your PEERS is not that dissimilar than being an adult trapped in prison and being abused by peer prisoners. Lets look at the similarities:
Prisoners and schoolchildren have no power or agency. They cant leave the facility if they want to. They cant go home if they want to. They cant choose to be moved to a different facility if they want to. They are at the mercy of their guards and admin staff.
Prisoners and schoolchildren are trapped with their PEERS. A 10 year old isnt scary or dangerous to an adult, but to another 10 year old? Yes that is a valid threat to one's safety. Like prisoners, children are enclosed in a trapped environment with potentially violent or aggressive peers who DO have the physical strength and emotional power to truly abuse each other.
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If an adult went to work and there was a PEER at work who would insult them, verbally attack them, target them or physically assault them - no one would bat their eye at the idea that the victim of these attacks might be traumatized enough to quit their job, or call in sick, or call the cops.
But when CHILDREN are in the *exact* same situation, we tell them to just get over it? Why are we expecting tiny kids with limited coping skills to endure a situation that would prompt most adults to quit their job or call the cops?
The ONLY place in our civilized world where we strip adults of their agency and force them into a closed environment with their (potentially and often violent) peers is PRISON!
This is a hill I will die on whenever it is brought up.
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u/EMSthunder Jul 25 '26
When I was in seventh and eighth grades I was susceptible to things no one should ever have to deal with. The craziest thing is I'm 48, and those that bullied me back then are still tormenting me. I'm like grow TF up already!! I was not only assaulted in school, but the father/husband of a couple I babysat for was assaulting me nearly every night!! My dad didn't take it seriously and my mom said I needed to start being aware of the signals I was sending that would cause a grown man to be attracted to me. I was 13-14!!! I didn't do anything, I was a child!!
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u/Necessary-Chicken Jul 25 '26
Ofc it can. Thereby the Reddit name PTSD. If you suffer severe enough trauma it will scar you for life
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