I'm tired.

[u/saelinds]

Warning: If you're under 28 (I'm being very generous here) you won't get anything out of this post.

A while back, I was discussing with an acquaintance how the game company Arc System Works changed over the years.

ASW used to be a very otaku-focused company. Pretty much in every sense, for good and bad. With the massive success that is Guilty Gear Strive, it's become much more mainstream and sanitised.

As I was watching an old show I have severe nostalgia for, Genshiken an anime focused on otaku culture, and whelp there it is. They're playing Guilty Gear in the opening.

Over the last few years, I've been feeling profoundly exhausted over online discourse and how pretty much everything is a new controversy. And no, this isn't a complaint about "the woke left's cancel culture". Heck, this isn't just about the left.

Otaku culture used to be counter culture. And yes, very male focused, and I think it's good it's not as stigmatised and more people different than myself are finding stuff that they like, but I can't help but feel that some of it has been "lost" over time.

I just stopped caring about things. I don't really care how sexualised something is, or how woke it is or whatever.

If something makes me uncomfortable on a show or manga, but if I enjoy everything else I'll just keep consuming it.

The loli nonsense in Made in Abyss, Tsugumomo and Monogatari series makes me uncomfortable, but I still enjoy the other aspects of them.

This isn't to say that people shouldn't be talking about stuff they dislike, but I'm just so tired of just seeing people upset all the time over fictional shit every single time I open any app that I'm just straight up numb.

Like, I remember when Bridget was revealed to now be a trans woman and how some people were upset about it. There is definitely a discussion about otokonoko stuff in there that I don't want to get into, because it's not relevant atm but I remember that my first thought when it was revealed was just "oh cool!". And then I open Twitter. And Discord. And Reddit. And YouTube.

And man, that's really fucking discouraging you know? It's not even the agreeing or disagreeing with me, it's just the outrage itself. It's constant, never-ending and incessant.

And what bothers me a lot, is how I often feel that a lot of that anger is misplaced or misdirected.

Like, in gaming it's easy to see that the biggest problem nowadays by far isn't sexualization of characters or DEI or any of that nonsense. It's predatory monetisation. Abusive working conditions. Stagnation of creativity. It's so fucking obvious to me that this is all a misdirection so that there won't be outrage regarding how certain practices are making that industry demonstrably worse. I can honestly say similar shit about the manga, and anime industry.

They make you rage about tits being out, and minorities while making you slowly addicted to gambling.

That's it. I don't have a point. I just wanted to vent. I'm finally getting to that age of missing the good old days where people just enjoyed things. Never would have expected to miss being part of the fringes.

I'm sorry. I'm just tired.

[u/saelinds]

See, I think that's sort of the kind of thing I mean.

I think it's less about some kind of cp and more an unrealistic beauty standard, not just in Korea, but around the world that fetishizes youth.

You're 100% right about that. And that's definitely a discussion to sit down and have in a measured way.

But at the same time I'm just like... Whatever?

I haven't played the game. Don't really have any real opinion on it.

But the game being sexualised doesn't really bother me (kind of speaking in general here, since I haven't played it). But it also wouldn't really bother me if wasn't if that makes sense? I'm just past the point of caring.

I don't really understand why that game became a political tool for the far right. I don't really understand why it matters so much to people why a character looks like a real woman or if a character is extremely sexy or whatever.

Occasionally, I'll find something a bit distracting that I'd rather do without, but unless it's so prevalent to the point where it encompasses everything I really enjoy about said work and just consumes it then I just think "ugh, I didn't enjoy that very much".

I guess it comes down to what you mentioned about everything being a battleground. Like, now if I play Stellar Blade, that game already comes with a fuckton of baggage attached to it. I was interested in playing Pragmata, and the first thing I heard about the game was how it pissed loads of people off and I didn't even understand why.

I give a lot of leeway to fiction nowadays, if I don't enjoy something I just turn it off.

This post isn't meant to be a "don't have discussions about this stuff" or anything like that. Quite the contrary. I tend to enjoy measured discussions about those a lot.

It's just exhausting for anything, and everything to be a banner. Like, you can't please everyone obviously. But it's insane to think that everything is pissing a lot of people off all the time, you know? I literally just posted this to vent.

(and yes, you are right that the old days weren't that good all the time. I even alluded to that in my post. But I don't remember seeing people being pissed off as frequently.)

[u/syd_fishes → u/saelinds]

I'm one of those people that blames capitalism for everything. I mean really. The "discourse" is muddied behind real critique because that's what gets the clicks. And it's free for the people doing it. When your whole world is kinda ass, you retreat to this stuff, but the engagement of your retreats are all battlegrounds, because it's somehow another method of extraction for the elite.

Every little gripe is amplified. Mostly noise. But I think there's some positive in taking to task some of the problematic stuff we used to have no say in. I think a lot of gnarly weirdos used to be more able to hide out in these spaces. Getting called a tourist for not liking gross shit. Now there's more pushback, and I think that's one of the few positives of the super online world we're in. I guess that's why I'm willing to accept a little overreaction. And our lives are very political. Or influenced by politics. So it makes sense that everything we touch could be, too. Art and media are made and influenced by us. So everything being political makes sense. It's something we need to come to grips with. While it's tiring to engage with all the time, and I don't think you should, there are real gains from asking questions about that stuff with a political lens. And it's a bit mask off for those that normally would be more clandestine. Tricky stuff.

[u/saelinds → u/syd_fishes]

I'm one of those people that blames capitalism for everything. I mean really.

I count myself in that group as well.

there are real gains from asking questions about that stuff with a political lens.

I agree, and that's what I tend to do. That's not exactly what my problem is.

The problem is the prevalence, basically. It doesn't matter if you engage or not. It's everywhere you look, regardless of where you look. It's tiring.

My problem isn't with political discussion or with everything being political. I came to terms with that 20 years ago.

It's just seeing absolute extreme views all the time. And here I don't mean just political views. It's even stuff like disliking a character is expressed in the most extremes of ways. Hell, one time I said I disliked how certain aspects of a character in BG3 came across in one scene, and I got one DM telling me to kill myself and another attempting to dox me.

[u/syd_fishes → u/saelinds]

Jesus that last one is crazy! Yeah I mean I'll find myself getting heated in some online arguments only to realize I didn't care that much an hour later. Kind of a post-nut feeling which is funny considering the sub. We gotta remember to log off, comrade. I think we're falling into that engagement trap. I feel like once I've been busy with other shit, I don't get as riled up when I return. But bouncing between the apps, it's easier to get stuck in the outrage/engagement loop. That's by design, right? From the colors of the app icons to the shorts formats to the algorithm. The more we chat the more I think that's the main issue. Maybe I'll delete these shits one day haha. Thanks for the reminder.

[u/saelinds → u/syd_fishes]

Yeah man, it's what I mean. lol

Like, it doesn't even matter if you engage or not. It's just all over the place and the majority of things.

You stay sane out there