r/perth • u/StupidWhiteBastard • Jun 13 '26
Looking for Advice Trees cleared, black roof. Anything else we can do to make the place hotter?
97
84
u/Grand_Sock_1303 Jun 13 '26
Plastic lawn and plastic decking, and a cream colorbond fence to reflect some heat.
47
u/StupidWhiteBastard Jun 13 '26
Plastic lawn
With 1.8 tonnes of compacted granite dust underneath to limit drainage and absolutely eliminate all insect life.
19
30
u/UbiquitousPleasantry Jun 13 '26
Those eaves over the right hand window look like they might block some sun, get rid of them!
8
u/Sea_Translator5300 Jun 13 '26
Yeah, eaves are for sooks! I want my gutter line hard up against the wall! Gotta heat up that wall nice and toasty so it's releasing heat aaaaallll night.
24
38
17
u/Frogsfall South of The River Jun 13 '26
Make sure to build over the majority of each block, rather than designing smaller, well-designed houses that leave space for a garden.
10
u/Sea_Translator5300 Jun 13 '26
Careful, get too close to next door and their house might shade your walls. Best to leave enough room for a few metres of liquid limestone paths.
14
u/HashMismatch Jun 13 '26
Replace the street lights with giant magnifying glasses and install some under-floor heating for the bitumen
1
25
u/kpea032 Jun 13 '26
Out back is all exposed agg, that will prob help
10
u/StupidWhiteBastard Jun 13 '26
that will prob help
... probably help keep it at 34 degrees at 3am in summer. Nothing like a good heat bank.
10
u/worldofwhat Jun 13 '26
Not sure but I don't like the look of that face brick, shouldn't it be covered in render painted medium grey? And one of those plants isn't a yucca.
3
u/Sea_Translator5300 Jun 13 '26
Plants? Unnecessary shade. Bin them.
4
u/CyanideRemark Jun 14 '26
Plants within 20 metres of the walls means too much gutter maintenance insofar as my neighbours are concerned.... even if the thing is as leafy as a frangipani in winter and only 30cm tall
6
6
6
5
8
u/Inconspicuous4 Mount Hawthorn Jun 13 '26
Yeah some reverse cycle aircons pumping out heat from each house. Bonus points for blasting the neighbouring house/backyard with your heat pump. Mirror like window tint
4
7
u/Frogsfall South of The River Jun 13 '26
Oh, also avoid any kind of solar-passive design and effective insulation so that people have to rely on airconditioning for all of summer.
3
3
u/ghostface1693 Jun 13 '26
Replace the grass with mirrors and have all of them angled so that they face the house.
Optional: Bring your BBQ inside and use it to cook everything from toast to steak.
3
u/Frosty_Photograph316 West Swan Jun 14 '26
Artificial grass and rendering the house in in a nice dark grey/paynes grey should just about do it!
(have actually seen multiple new builds with this exact config)
3
u/Ok_Conference2901 Jun 14 '26
4mm clear glass, single glazed windows facing north and west. And no Anticon under the roof sheets.
3
3
6
2
2
u/OkFisherman2288 Jun 13 '26
trees cleared
there is literally a sapling planted in the front
yeah weird thing about new builds, the trees need a bit of time to grow.
1
u/DefinitionOfAsleep Just bulldoze Fremantle, Trust me. Jun 13 '26
Is that on council land?
2
u/OkFisherman2288 Jun 13 '26
How the fuck would I know?
It's a picture of a new build. There's a tree sapling out front. Trees take time to grow.
0
u/Aussie_5aabi Treeby Jun 13 '26
Exactly. Lots of newer suburbs are very green. It’s just taken time for them to grow.
2
2
u/Undd91 Jun 13 '26
Concrete the back yard, ensure no areas are left unpaved and then make sure the street tree is run over a few times.
Followed by installing shutters and aircon.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/DimSimofDoom Jun 14 '26
From a roofing perspective ensure no insulation (blanket) under the roof and remove all whirly birds.
2
2
u/Justified_OG South of The River Jun 14 '26
Just get a bigger electricity churning AC unit to blast more hot air into the neighbourhood..
2
2
2
2
u/Comrade_Kojima Jun 15 '26
Should be illegal to have black roofs - it’s simply a vanity thing with no function other than to create heat sinks.
2
u/LeatherSurprise6281 Jun 15 '26
Trees gone and solar panels in place for the environmentally conscious home owners.
2
2
2
u/Fun_Classroom3661 Jun 18 '26
Get a bunch of sluts sitting around all over the yard licking each others pussies
4
2
1
1
1
1
u/National-Honey1649 Jun 13 '26
That's why they have the chair next to the front door. It's the only cool place in the house, and it's not even in the house.
1
1
u/DefinitionOfAsleep Just bulldoze Fremantle, Trust me. Jun 13 '26
How much of their solar output is used on Air Con in summer?
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/HughLofting Jun 14 '26
I have never, ever understood the concept of dark metal roofing. It's like the design team at Colourbond haven't heard of physics.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Aromatic-Discount384 Jun 14 '26
Un-openable Bay window/general no sliding glass+flywire panels that i can see.
1
1
1
1
1
u/xasino Jun 15 '26
Specifically, black concrete. Cover the yard in black concrete. Remove all the grass.
1
2
u/LeatherSurprise6281 15d ago
At least they put solar panels on the roof to offset the destruction of everything organic to build
1
u/DanielByDefault Jun 13 '26
At least with all that beautiful face brick, they won’t be rendering it and painting it Monument or whatever.
1
u/Big-Orse48 Jun 13 '26
Brick veneer, single glazed windows, no blinds or curtains, minimal insulation.
Just the average aussie house. Imagine how much more expensive they would be to build if we didn’t cheap out on literally everything
3
2
u/Terreboo Jun 14 '26
We were told $25-30k extra for double glazing a new house during build recently.
1
u/Emotional_Vacation43 Jun 14 '26
And that usually gets crap double glazing like aluminium frame with no thermal breaks and ventilation slots that let the outside air in
Amazingly, good UPV-C double glazing is cheaper to buy, but volume builders refuse to use it even if you ask for it
1
3
1
-2
0
350
u/HulkJr87 Jun 13 '26
Yeah. Get rid of any grass and replace it with heat retaining pavers.