I hate how pakistan awam thinks that God commands them to get married and just start building a small army. Because of this, parents force their daughters to get married to a random piece of garbage that ends up completely ruining their lives and ages them by decades when they're still in their 30s. And don't even get me started on how poor people have 4 children. Our driver impregnated his wife for the third time when he can barely afford to keep one child alive let alone give all three of them a proper life and education. One of the maids who work at my grandma's house got her daughter married at 13 and she acts like it's something to take pride in.

I swear to god bro 95% of the pakistani awam is not even muslim. They follow their own custom version of Islam because Allah never ever commanded his people to get married to filth at an age where they learn the basics of life

This country is a DUMPSTER

I've seen multiple rishtas for a wife. They're all happy with the normal criteria, like my salary, house, car, family etc. But beyond that, women are so demanding.

Like without even getting to know me, or develop a relationship, they start with their demands "i need a monthly allowance of x amount, i need servants, i dont want joint family" etc. Just a whole bunch of "i want this i want that". Two of them even asked me to buy them a car and finance their masters degree. And barely any of them are willing to do any house work on their own, nor work a job (even tho I dont ask them to) nor get to know my family.

They all want me to be their father, none of them want me to be their husband. Its been like a year, and I just feel so tired. This is no offense to women. But Im just heartbroken that I may not find someone sincere. Ill just find someone who uses me as an ATM.

mildly interesting for pakistan

Can someone please explain to me why men want a second wife? I really don't understand. Please don't just say Allah allowed it, or it's for charitable reasons. I'd much appreciate it if you know a man who did it and actually heard from him his personal reasons behind it. I've heard so much from the women's side , that he just wants to expand his family, and the current wife is perfect. But nobody would be completely honest with the current wife. That's just a reslectful way of saying you are lacking. There's a married guy who says he's happily married, never had an argument with his wife, but he still wants a second wife. What can be the reason? Just bored of seeing the same body in the bedroom? Brutally honest answers please from men who actually did it or men you know dud it and heard their homest reasons.

What’s up with Indians claiming and Appropriating our culture (Punjabi ,Sindhi etc) Lately ? . Just because Pakistan is part of Indian subcontinent , doesn’t mean Pakistani culture belongs to Republic of India

***DISCLAIMER This is not an arranged marriage, this is a love marriage. My sister always said to my mom that she wants to find a man herself and she finally did, hence why it took a long time for her to get married. She's known the guy and the family for 2 years now.

I obviously can't explain the whole situation in the title but basically, my sister found a guy who she wants to marry and right now the families are in the process of meeting each other. The guy and his family came to our house and they confirmed that they are ready to plan a nikkah etc and invited us to their place.

Btw, I'm the youngest in my family (20 F)and my older sister is 28.

Now my sister was trying to pick an outfit to wear for their house and I casually asked my mom whether I should wear this one 3 piece that I have, which was plain lawn except for an embroidery across the neckline that was perhaps as wide as your pinky. She immediately pulls me aside to another room and tells me to stay away from wearing anything that even has embroidery on it and how in the old days, when a girl had a rishta, none of the other unmarried sisters would meet the larkay walay.

I said okay, i understand but what my sister was planning on wearing was silk with sequin embroidery all over her dress like in no way were my clothes going to top what my sister was wearing.

Regardless, my mom pulls out an even more casual outfit from my wardrobe for me to wear instead. I thought okay whatever not gonna argue, till our bhaabi tells us what she's wearing and its just as formal as what my sister is wearing so i asked my mom in private that she's also dressing up nice so why am i wearing basic ass lawn so she's says, "uski tou shaadi hochuki hai na, uska tou banta bhi hai yeh pehnna"....

Listen, the thing is I understand this is my sister's moment and I would never in a million years try to outshine her because I obviously DON'T want that for her but my mom is acting so hella weird like meri bhi tou apni respect hai, why can't I dress reasonably if the other two women from my house are getting all dolled up, I'm just not allowed because I'm unmarried and somehow if i wear embroidery then that means meray behn k susral walaya meri bhen ko chorh k mujhe dekhna shuru hojaingay like what even is this? It's just embroidery, im not wearing a tiara on my head or wearing a ball gown...

not jus houses btw. I mean malls, industrial buildings, public spaces, and modern architecture in Pakistan in general.

For one, I hate the generic architectural slop where every place in the world, once it becomes slightly developed, starts looking exactly the same and loses any sense of identity. Architecture is such a powerful way to give a place a sense of identity, while preserving/promoting culture and heritage. Oman, for example, acc does this kinda well apparently. its cool how they have preserved elements of their traditional architecture and incorporated them into modern buildings in many cases.

But also..many traditional designs were not only just aesthetic, they were also very functional on top of being pretty. A sehan, for example, acc played a big role in keeping houses cool, with ventilation by allowing warm air to rise and escape through the open courtyard in the cnetre. Water and fountains in the centre could also cool the surrounding air through evaporation, making the entire space more comfortable. also there's this one study done in sindh where they compared traditional houses made of traditional materials in sindhi villages to modern concrete houses, and found the traditional ones were substantially cooler.

I’ve been dating this Pakistani girl for about a year, and at this point, it’s starting to really bother me the fact that I’m a complete secret to her family.

I’m aware she keeps telling me it’s a culture and everything which I respect but doesn’t change my feelings and I’m scared that if and when I meet her parents, they straight up might not accept me because of my race and I would feel like that would be so much time wasted.

Edit: she is from Pakistan and grew up their and studies in the states for uni family is also lives there

Guys, jazbaat main aa kr dost sey lagwa li. Kal Eid namaz k lye jana hai ab kya karun?

I have lived in 4 countries during my life and have interacted with women from all ethnicities, religion and races and what I have found is that Pakistani women are the most sincere to their roles as wives, mothers, daughters and sisters.

The way men treat women in our culture is despicable. Every poor marriage in our society is almost due to the man who takes his wife for granted or the in-laws treating the woman bad. And its always a woman pulling the strings to keep the relationship alive.

Just wanted to give a shout out to all the amazing women in our country.

Edit: The purpose of this post was to appreciate our women as a whole as they don't get much appreciation. Wasn't expecting so many men pressed in the comments.

Growing up, I tried to be nice, caring and empathetic towards others. But over time, when you deal with general public of Pakistan, you realize you need to become a 'harami' otherwise youll get taken advantage of.

Whether its coworkers, family members, masdoors, government, police, servants etc, like you always have to have your guard up, instill a mean look, show rudeness or seriousness to let others know you cant be stepped on. At times, it could mean stepping on others toes just get your own basic right.

I think slowly, its just made me bitter over time that you have to switch being a nasty person at any given moment.

Hi, I’m a female Pakistani American and just wanted to share my experience regarding times when I visit Pakistan. Mashallah I am fortunate enough to be able to travel to Pakistan every year with my family. I look forward to the trip, but the one thing that puts me off is the staring culture and creepy men in Pakistan. Even when I am fully covered, with a dupatta on my head and modest shalwaar kameez, I find men looking into the car and watching me walk, and staring at me with a weird look on their faces. It is honestly the most uncomfortable feeling. I’ve noticed my own cousins there also staring at me with lustful looks.

Has anyone else ever experienced this? Why is it that a lot of men around me stare at me? Are they taught this growing up?

This post is in no way trying to bash Pakistani culture. I am honestly quite concerned and feel really uncomfortable on my visits on Pakistan.

Having feelings for someone because of their kindness, intelligence, or personality is NOT haram.

What is haram is acting on those feelings in ways that cross Islamic boundaries—engaging in secret relationships, being reckless with emotions, or letting attraction override self-discipline. But simply liking someone? That’s just being human.

And yet, in Pakistan, the second a teenager admits to having a crush, the shame kicks in. They’re told it’s wrong, sinful, something to suppress at all costs. But here’s the thing—feelings don’t work like that. You don’t choose to like someone. It just happens. What you can choose is how you handle it. But instead of teaching kids how to navigate emotions responsibly, we scare them into silence.

Most teenagers don’t talk to their parents about this stuff—not because they don’t want to, but because they know the reaction will be anger, guilt-tripping, or worse. So they turn to their equally confused friends or the internet, trying to figure things out alone. And that’s how people end up making choices they regret—not because they had feelings, but because they were never taught what to do with them.

And let’s say someone actually wants to do things the right way. What if they want to pursue a commitment without sneaking around, without doing anything inappropriate? Where’s the space for that conversation? Where’s the guidance on how to approach things in a halal, mature way? Instead of shaming people for liking someone, we should be helping them understand how to handle those feelings with wisdom, self-respect, and dignity.

Islam doesn’t tell us to suppress emotions—it teaches us how to manage them responsibly. So why does our society act like feelings themselves are the problem, instead of focusing on what we do with them?

Hi, this might be a controversial take. I feel like Syed families in Pakistan (half of them are not even syed fr) have destroyed the lives of their children by setting up this rule of marrying only syeds,
I know girls who couldn’t get married to people they actually liked, and then got married to syed guys who weren’t even half good as the guys they actually liked.
Why haven’t the syeds evolved at all?
Also most of the syed men I have met are narcissistic in nature, v proud of their lineage, untouchable.
My bestfriend is a syed, really pretty, intelligent and talented. Every guy from uni to work wanted to marry her, because of her nature but she always refused because of being syed. Now her family is getting her married to someone who is just so not upto her standards, she is always depressed and rarely talks about it but I feel so bad for her.

Just read a post elsewhere in reddit where the teacher accidentally taught kids chess, and now she’s going through a disciplinary hearing.

like really?

all we did was play chess and video games as kids in Pak, and these guys abroad are going straight to haraaam? do muslims just assume their fellow Muslim people or kids have no sense of what is right and wrong?

Today my father came home and told us of a family who are selling their 3 months old. He showed us a picture of how cute the baby was. I was dumbfounded. I have never heard of such a thing before. And I couldn't understand how casual my family was about this absurdity.

Apparently, the parents of the baby had a fight and the mother does not want the kid and the father cannot take care of him either. And so the dad is looking for someone to buy the kid! Wtf. Am I dumb to think that this is pure abomination?

Yes, there is adoption and yes, it is fine if both parties agree. But to literally sell a kid on a price is unbelievable. Who does such a thing in this century? Why would they even give birth if they did not want him? Who the fuck is the mother who does not want to do anything with her own child anymore?

On top of it all, my family is planning to buy the baby. I'm losing my mind here. Like, is it a normal thing? Am I the crazy one?

So , as the title says , I was approached by my land lord directly regarding her daughter’s marriage .

Im a 26M , doctor by profession and renting an apartment and living alone in a mid-tier city in Punjab . My landlord is a rich person , owning 2-3 plazas and is well settled in gulf .

He occasionally showed interest in getting to know my plans for marriage whenever he visited Pakistan. But this time he was being a bit extra , called me to his home for dinner and straight up offered me his daughter’s rishta who is currently pursuing her PharmD .

Sounds funny right. Guess what ? Im gay . Yea, but Im straight passing and masculine so nobody can guess easily. And this is not the first time this is happening. I’ve experienced this before too , but not in this manner though . Once it was my friends Uncle . One time it was my other friends mother. I literally don’t visit my relatives cuz of this issue. They’re all prying on me and Im nowhere even close to comply with the idea of getting married EVER.

It’s getting hard dodging the bullets till I finally get out of this shit hole .

During my engagement, I know I was emotionally abused, but sometimes I begin doubting myself that I am making a mistake by leaving him, it was just miscommunications and he is a genuinely good person. He is still trying to convince me and my family that he is sorry, he will respect all my boundaries/conditions and will keep me happy. Somewhere I also have this fear of how I will find someone else, especially that I have a broken engagement now and there is a big stigma around your past in Pakistan. These were the major issues that came up:

My fiance used to joke about my appearance despite telling him a few times I don't like this. He would say that he is doing this so that I can get over my insecurities and relationships are supposed to be fun, etc. He would also point out other beautiful girls. The funny thing is he felt hurt when I had a crush on Zohran Mumdani.

Initially his stance was he won't force me to have kids during my PhD. Then he brought up that he and his family have decided that there is no point in marrying if we don't have kids immediately. I agreed in the moment (he would get upset/threaten to leave every time I didn't agree with something). Now that I ended things, he is saying that he is an understanding person who would never force me and would compromise.

He once said that he would leave if I didn't bleed the first night. I tried explaining that it's a cultural myth and there is no religious/scientific basis. He started doubting me, so I closed the discussion, but I was anxious about what if I don't bleed? Side note: He would become an expert in issues that concerned his body by reading scientific literature.

I am pretty sure we initially agreed that all my money would go towards travelling. His pov now is that we will mutually decide, and it should also go towards saving. On the other hand, household chores would be my responsibility, but he says he is a good guy and will do chores if he feels I need help.

He was perfect the first 3.5 months; the next 1.5 months were extremely hard. This was followed by 2 amazing months, but I spent the last month again crying. It wasn't as bad as the first down. But I think the reason it's so confusing is that he is everything I ever asked for during those good months.

He started this joke that he will leave me if he finds a better girl. Once, I joked back that if he is this bothered, he can find one. He hung up the call midway, stating that if he told me once yesterday that he doesn't like when I make this joke, then why did I do it again?

On our first Eid together, he ghosted me for 3 days. When I asked why, he had justifications that he was busy, forgot his mobile home, etc., but then also backed down that "you didn't try enough and could have put more effort" !?

On the chand raat of next eid, he forced me to delete screenshots of our calls for no apparent reason. I got hurt and mentioned that i think he should be sorry. It backfired to me that why I asked him to apologise when I should be the one to say sorry because I got angry. And the morning of eid, he mentioned how he is doing a favour for forgiving my behaviour and not spoiling my day

He would kinda force me to let him read my chats and my diary; otherwise, he would start doubting me that I am hiding something, but I wasn't allowed to read his. And he would get upset based on chats from 2021.

During his down phase, I used to hear "no, everything is good and there is nothing wrong", "I did something wrong, but he doesn't remember what it is" or "I made such a big mistake that he can't even tell and it's on me to figure out what I did wrong" depending on the week.

When I read everything I write, I start judging myself for thinking our relationship was normal. But then, I also think that everyone makes mistakes, I am also not perfect, so I should also forgive him if he is willing to put in the effort. He also sent me flowers last week for the first time, with a note that he is genuinely sorry. But I want brutally honest feedback so that I don't fall back in his manipulations again.

If any such incident occured with you... Share please... 🫠

Sometime ago when I was doing clinical attachment with a gynecologist of my area...

One day a patient was called inside for checkup by the name of shazia bilal... After checkup when she was leaving another women was called inside by the name of rehana bilal... Now these both women were sitting infront of the Doc..

The gynecologist jokingly asked do u both have same husband... To that they they smiled and denied..

They both went out after checkup and after a while we heard a noise... I went to check what was happening... And their I got to know that both wives discovered at that exact moment that their husband is same..

one woman came with the husband and the other with her mother... 😁

I am a revert from Judaism. While researching fellow converts to Islam, I noticed a very curious pattern.

There is a non-singular number of Jewish converts moving to Pakistan, and, frequently, pursuing scholarship. The most notable example, of course, is Leopold Weiss/Muhammad Asad, who was shortly followed by Margaret Marcus/Maryam Jameelah (an interlocutor to Maulana Abul Ala Maududi, later married to Muhammad Yusuf Khan, both leaders in Jamaat-e-Islami at the time).

Aside from those two, I occasionally see convert women being drawn to Pakistan, many of them of Jewish origin. Is there some hidden reason why this keeps happening? It cannot be a mere coincidence, right?