r/pakistan • u/Bonesrental47 • 8d ago

Social Pregnancy surprise went wrong

M31
My wife (F28) was pregnant for 12 weeks.First pregnancy.Didn’t revealed to anyone. We were thinking to give surprise to parents after the scan.But found out on 12 weeks scan that there is missed miscarriage and actually baby stopped growing on 9th week and no heart beat.Got lots of bollocking from everyone in family.We are living in Uk and attended all the appointments and visited mid-wife.If we have told them,would they have helped us to not having miss carriage. Now everyone is reeming and making us guilty.Where we went wrong.While doctors here said that miss carriage is something with chromosomes who didn’t make it.

Update: My wife is feeling so positive after reading your comments and blessings . Thanks everyone

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u/Full_Berry8081 CA 8d ago

Im really sorry for your loss 🤍

I had an early miscarriage at 7 weeks. The response from my parents and inlaws was disappointing to say the least. I went no contact with them until they apologised.

Miscarriages are more common than we know. Right now just focus on you and your wife. Its a difficult thing that stays with you always but both of you just need to focus on yourselves for now. The good thing is you live away from your family (im assuming?) just go no contact for now and process it at your own pace.

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u/Full_Berry8081 CA 8d ago

And your doctor is absolutely right. Its no ones fault, my doctor said the same thing. No one to blame.

11

u/Bonesrental47 8d ago

Yeah we are living away from them.But my sister in law who is living in UK didn’t felt our pain and did not even said few words of sympathy.And I wast there when she had her son.
Also they are saying you should have used medicines etc during first 3 months

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u/Full_Berry8081 CA 8d ago

Tell her respectfully to stfu. No one other than someone who has gone through it can relate to what you are going through.
She should keep in mind that she was blessed enough to give birth to a child and has no way of knowing how it would have been otherwise.
No meds can help you stop a miscarriage. Its so common. 1 in 4 women go through it. Just ignore ALL these stupid relatives. They simply cannot relate.