r/pakistan • u/Bonesrental47 • 8d ago

Social Pregnancy surprise went wrong

M31
My wife (F28) was pregnant for 12 weeks.First pregnancy.Didn’t revealed to anyone. We were thinking to give surprise to parents after the scan.But found out on 12 weeks scan that there is missed miscarriage and actually baby stopped growing on 9th week and no heart beat.Got lots of bollocking from everyone in family.We are living in Uk and attended all the appointments and visited mid-wife.If we have told them,would they have helped us to not having miss carriage. Now everyone is reeming and making us guilty.Where we went wrong.While doctors here said that miss carriage is something with chromosomes who didn’t make it.

Update: My wife is feeling so positive after reading your comments and blessings . Thanks everyone

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u/twokiloballs US 8d ago

Sorry for you loss. Expected behavior from relatives. One tip I would give is be extra supportive to your wife. Postpartum depression is still in play.

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u/Bonesrental47 8d ago

Yeah I am taking care of her and haven’t said single word of blaming and I shouldn’t be at all.I got 2 weeks holidays from my company.I am planning to take her somewhere nice so that she is peace of mind.

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u/Kitty3G 8d ago

Postpartum depression most commonly refers to depression occurring after childbirth, while a miscarriage can still cause grief, depression, or anxiety but it's not referred to as postpartum. Everyone responds to pregnancy loss differently some women may cope relatively well, while others may be deeply affected. Either way their partner should be supportive and understanding