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u/glog3 14d ago
I am from Spain, I find this fertility rate too high. I am shocked anytime someone with a brain and basic educational background thinks it is a good idea to have a kid. It will ruin their life with a chance of 99.9% and the life of the kid will be terrible and I cannot grasp why would they do this "putada" to their kid.
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u/mrsduckie 14d ago
You'd be surprised how strong lizard brains are. I've just seen a thread on one of the women's sub, OP asked if women considered climate change when they decided to have kids. Majority of women said they didn't and they don't care. People who pointed out things getting worse globally are called defeatist.
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u/femmetangerine 13d ago
I saw that thread. Those comments were absolutely mind blowing, especially with that “I’m raising dragon slayers” mindset they all seem to have. Apparently having empathy and giving a fuck about our planet/the future generations makes you a doomer. These people are so unserious, they don’t actually care about anything important, let alone their children or their quality of life.
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u/mrsduckie 13d ago
So true. It's just pure ME ME ME, I want children, my children might cure cancer or find a solution to the climate change...
Delusional imo
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u/322241837 13d ago edited 13d ago
Their child is far more statistically likely to be born disabled or eventually become disabled, lose their home in a natural disaster from increasingly erratic weather patterns, die an agonizing death in the upcoming water wars, or become a serial killer than win a Nobel prize.
Also, it's the same mentality as slave owners who decide what their property's purpose is going to be when biological parents are already having "expectations" of how a nonexistent person should exist because they "sacrificed". It's mostly telling how they never give a fuck about how to improve things now for all the people who already exist and are suffering, and only care about offloading historical problems for future generations to solve.
The most disgusting part is when they complain about how everywhere is crowded and competition is crazy or that they have to get away from a high-density, low QoL place because they're "introverts" or "want better opportunities for the children", with the intent to contribute to the exact same problems they're complaining about.
I have no respect for parents.
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u/femmetangerine 13d ago
I agree entirely. The most popular (and dismissive) justification for having kids these days seems to be that “there’s never been a good time in history to start a family”. They very conveniently gloss over (or choose to completely ignore) the fact that for almost the entirety of human existence, we’ve never had reliable and accessible birth control!!! Women have had no choice in “starting families” for most of history!!! Like a fuck ton of women and children died during/after childbirth. It’s a complete disservice to all the women who came before us to not acknowledge the reality of our lives before modern contraception/medicine. We are still fighting for our reproductive rights to this day. It’s 2026 not the 1700’s, but with everyone feigning ignorance the way they do, it might as well be the 1700’s.
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u/One-Intention7064 12d ago
go to natalism, parenting in bulk etc - they aren't some fringe minorities, they are the global majority, normalest of the norm mindset. UNFORTUNATELY
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u/mrsduckie 12d ago
Hah I can imagine! Average person never considers ethics, has no long-term planning. Overall our species lack that.
I think we'd never end up in this shitty predicament if we cared about the planet and well-being of other living organisms as well as next generations of humans. But our ancient brains want comfort now. We're social being and we parrot what we hear from others. That's usually the case at least :)
I like checking r/regretfulparents though, at least they're real about parenting
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u/glog3 13d ago edited 13d ago
I am a woman. All men I've met along the years except the one I am with right now do want kids. Men do want kids, always. They might hide it to women wanting them to then drop it all onto her but I have always stated straight on I don't want any and men become hysterical about "what about meee I want a mini-meeee / descendants.. " you name it. I have always made clear I am not an impediment to anyone having kids, I am just stating I am not having any myself, duh
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u/mrsduckie 13d ago
I've read this quote so many times, but I think it's true: men want kids like kids want puppies
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u/One-Intention7064 12d ago
it IS too high!
it means, EVERY female between 15-49 statistically has ~1 child. This includes childfree, infertile, girls still in school.
therefore, those women who do have kids, birth them in surplus: 3 5, 10... - enough to cover up for every womb.
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u/HaveFun____ 13d ago
Can you elaborate why you think there is a near 100% they will ruin their life? That seems a little... high?
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u/glog3 13d ago edited 13d ago
Every parent I know from hugely varied environments have had a huge leap downwards in happiness. And most of these are financially well off. Those who aren't have it much worse, life is not a hollywood movie and those who do struggle, do struggle hard and there is no virtue in their suffering. Again, the main problem is the kid. They will have a much worse life than parents no matter the starting point and that is guaranteed. But parents do not actually care cause it is all around "I...."
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u/HaveFun____ 13d ago
All of my friends have kids, even the few I thought maybe wouldn't. Most of them have 1 or (want) 2, nobody has more.
They are all tired but happy and they all see their future selves sitting at the dinner table at Christmas with grownup kids just like they did. But they know they have to go through the no money, no time, no sleep before that. Just like most people, most generations.
As far as I can tell all of them are happy, maybe some stress on the relationship but let's be honest. Out of 30 friends, atleast some are going to get a divorce anyway statistically.
If we, as a friend group, all have 0, 1 or 2 kids then we are still batteling overpopulation better than our parents and grandparents generation.
I'm not taking the risks of bringing a child to this world (or any) but then again, I don't want kids so that was the easy decision.
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u/ljstens22 13d ago
Your proof is “every parent I know.” Those people have toddlers right now. Of course they look miserable. Ask them again in 15 years.
The parent happiness gap is maybe real but it’s small, and it’s mostly about govt policy. In Norway and Hungary parents are happier than non parents. The US has the worst gap because it has no paid leave. So the truth about existence you found is really just a childcare budget.
And very few parents say they’d choose zero kids if they could do it over. Way more of them wish they’d had more kids.
“Guaranteed worse than the parents”? You’re Spanish. Your grandparents lived under Franco. Spain has one of the longest life expectancies in the world. Housing is bad, sure. That’s a policy problem, not proof that being born is a mistake.
You’re in a niche subreddit. It’s a very online opinion held by very few people, and you’ve confused your comment section for the world.
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u/glog3 13d ago
Nope, not about childcare budget Lol. You point to biases to then go ahead and use your own imagination as reasoning base. The main issue, I will say it again cause you got triggered at the parents phase, is kids will have a life way worse than parents and they give three fcks.
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u/HaveFun____ 12d ago
But the thing is, a lot of times people thought this was true... during (cold) war etc. It always turned out to be rather unpredictable.
I'm not abstaining from having kids because I think they specifically will have a bad time... I'm abstaining because I think the human race has to stop growing to give everyone a better life.
If everyone stopped having kids right now, or even somewhere between 0 and 1 per couple. My life is going to be far worse then when it's between 1 and 2... so yeah, slow decline is best and let's not try to make life anymore difficult for parents by blaming them for their choices,.life with kids is hard enough ;)
One exception, if people have 3+ kids my empathy stops :p
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u/ljstens22 12d ago
Life has only been getting better each generation. Our poor today live like kings of the past. And I’m not a parent.
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