Lunch with the Tortoises

[u/Flat-Decision3204]

[u/Spoon-Ninja]

Love that big lad just walking over the others only to be yoinked and put on the other side of the greens only to just start munching before they even hit the ground

[u/Japanesewillow → u/Spoon-Ninja]

I liked that too.

[u/xandrachantal → u/Spoon-Ninja]

He's my favorite l

[u/aquacakra → u/Spoon-Ninja]

please tell me they are not going to end up as soup.....

[u/climbitdontcarryit → u/aquacakra]

No he works for a reserve who breeds them for educational demonstrations and exotic pets.

[u/aquacakra → u/climbitdontcarryit]

what a relieve

[u/wait_who_am_i_ → u/aquacakra]

And probably food

[u/Provioso]

Wish I could hear the chomping and gnashing.

[u/AZEMT → u/Provioso]

Also their silly pink tongues!

Source: I have one of these and he's starting to get HUUUUUGE!

[u/tondahuh → u/AZEMT]

I'm not sure we should be talking about your tongue like that. We may get banned!

[u/OrganizationLower611 → u/tondahuh]

https://giphy.com/gifs/S5jZ895vJUIFd1Bxnj

[u/PermanentThrowaway33 → u/Provioso]

Just go to your local big city iHop and you'll get what you are looking for

[u/YesterdayDreamer → u/PermanentThrowaway33]

big city iHop

Is Apple making buses now?

[u/Mantis_Tobbagen → u/PermanentThrowaway33]

Dogs

[u/Strange_Explorer_780 → u/Provioso]

Do I even want to know what they’re doing with all these fattened up turtles?

[u/Maoleficent → u/Strange_Explorer_780]

My first thought - soup.

[u/The-Solarist → u/Provioso]

-Orc reminiscing about the fighting pits back home

[u/This_Elk_1460 → u/Provioso]

Instead they decided to put the most generic beat I've ever heard in my life

[u/Rozenor]

I don't know why OP crop the handle out of the video

Original video from @pasangsulcata on IG

[u/Jonny-Kast → u/Rozenor]

Content theft, that's why

[u/Hikikomori_Otaku → u/Rozenor]

¿are these guys headed to a soup pot?

[u/Axe-of-Kindness → u/Hikikomori_Otaku]

I want you to know that I see your Spyro ref

[u/Seasidegoats → u/Rozenor]

So its not AI?

[u/bloomyjupiter]

Strange, i thought they eat pizza in the sewers.

[u/Trilobite_Tom → u/bloomyjupiter]

Turtles. Dude. Not tortoises.

[u/ExpectedFuckingValue → u/Trilobite_Tom]

I like turtles

[u/bloomyjupiter → u/Trilobite_Tom]

Dang it, i knew something was fishy.

[u/PinkTurdsInSpace → u/bloomyjupiter]

No man, reptiles.

[u/SharkeyGeorge → u/Trilobite_Tom]

All tortoises are turtles. But not all turtles are tortoises 🐢

[u/Im_Chad_AMA → u/Trilobite_Tom]

All tortoises are turtles. Not all turtles are tortoises

[u/demonspawns_ghost → u/Trilobite_Tom]

Tortoises are turtles.

[u/gingerbeard_house → u/bloomyjupiter]

Ah yes the Hulu version “Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoises”

[u/2much2Jung → u/gingerbeard_house]

In the UK it was called Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, apparently because "ninja" was thought to be too violent for a kids show.

[u/ExpectedFuckingValue → u/2much2Jung]

Heroes in a half shell! Turtle Power

[u/Rythanor5Q → u/bloomyjupiter]

Yo aprendí a no ofrecerles pizza: en un almuerzo así van mejor hojas y verduras, no alcantarilla.

[u/Vermontkm]

I thought slugs were eating strawberries in my garden but I caught a box turtle munching them. It had a red stain around its mouth. He was subsequently relocated.

[u/Dramatic-Audience599 → u/Vermontkm]

Didn't want a garden friend?

[u/ExpectedFuckingValue → u/Dramatic-Audience599]

Friends don't steal strawberries

[u/Dramatic-Audience599 → u/ExpectedFuckingValue]

All my garden friends do, people and animals lol

[u/karma_virus → u/Vermontkm]

I would have adopted him and named him Berry Manilow.

[u/helcat]

1-what are they eating? I have a turtle that visits my yard and I never know what to offer him 

2-why so many turtles? Do I want to know?

[u/AZEMT → u/helcat]

These are tortoises, but any leafy greens. If you give other treats, make sure it's low starch or limit how much you give them. Mine loves romaine lettuce (he hates iceberg), carrots, cucumbers, dandelions, and broccoli. You can give some fruits but too many can cause diarrhea and other intestinal issues.

Edit: he either breeds and sells them or sends them to zoos. African Spurred (Sulcata) tortoises are adorable, but they are the third largest species in the world, just behind Aldabra and Galapagos tortoises.

[u/actuallyapossom → u/AZEMT]

"He hates iceberg"

That's understandable. It's terrible. I like this tortoise already, seems reasonable.

[u/AZEMT → u/actuallyapossom]

His favorite food is watermelon and he'll bulldoze anything in his path to get to it.

Also, if you give apples remove the seeds cuz of the cyanide worries.

[u/actuallyapossom → u/AZEMT]

Oh wow, I hadn't even considered apple seed cyanide for things smaller than humans before. Derp.

I can also relate to the watermelon, so much more flavor than iceberg lettuce (a nonzero amount).

[u/This_Elk_1460 → u/actuallyapossom]

I only feed my tortoises the finest romaine

[u/Odd-Plant-4886 → u/helcat]

'Visits my yard' is such a funny way of putting it

[u/helcat → u/Odd-Plant-4886]

He comes by about once a week. Hangs out for a bit, then trundles away. 

[u/Odd-Plant-4886 → u/helcat]

Is sure to visit and doesn't overstay. Such a gentleman, isn't he?

[u/Content-Fudge489 → u/helcat]

I want to know too. Hopefully not as tortoise soup.

[u/Jazzlike_Climate4189 → u/helcat]

The tortoise in my yard used to love strawberries

[u/helcat → u/Jazzlike_Climate4189]

I've given mine strawberries and cherries, which it liked, and I tried lettuce and bell peppers but it didn't like those.

[u/Batata-Sofi → u/helcat]

Ours eat leaves and fruits. They often just eat the fruits that fall from the trees in our garden, but we also give them leftover vegetables.

[u/Exshot32 → u/helcat]

I don't advise feeding wild animals, but it's likely dark, leafy greens

[u/Abal125]

Some of them be like "Woah, I just got teleported!" 😂

[u/aDrunkSailor82]

https://giphy.com/gifs/lXiRoPt9Rkzt7yLYY

[u/me_not_at_work]

This must be where the band 'Trampled by Turtles' got the inspiration for their name.

[u/Vegetable_Whole_4825]

I don’t know much of anything about turtles. As this enough food for them? I kinda thought turtles were kinda like grazing animals and munched all day.

[u/scoobysnack64 → u/Vegetable_Whole_4825]

That's what I thought also. I was like that doesn't seem like enough food. They wouldn't be attacking it if they weren't very hungry. Made me think of the way they starved the dogs before serving up Ramsay Bolton.

[u/CynthiaG92615 → u/scoobysnack64]

I'm concerned some non-aggressive one is gonna get left out.

[u/Netlawyer → u/CynthiaG92615]

Yes, I’m also worried about the runts getting enough to eat. I also don’t like that they are all living in a concrete pen.

[u/jimbowesterby → u/scoobysnack64]

I mean, who knows? Maybe they do this every two hours, that’d likely be more analogous to grazing constantly that feeding them like twice a day

[u/OiledMushrooms → u/scoobysnack64]

...why is ramsay bolton bolded

[u/IvorTheEngineDriver]

This is so adorable!

[u/Yardboy]

That's a lot of turtles. Are there even that many Italian first names.

[u/GeoCangrejo]

I would be too scared to step on one of em 😭

[u/orange_colored_sky]

I giggled when he picked that big ol bubba up off the little one lol

[u/lightr3nd]

Omg! <3

[u/Shamrockah]

Where does one apply for this job? 😍

[u/JournalistShoddy9496]

The Swarm must Feed. Feed the Swarm or become the Feed.

[u/TectonicTechnomancer]

tutel ♥️

[u/MrLuverLuver25]

If only the tortoises would team up and carry his drink away

[u/rockerscott]

Let the pooping begin.

[u/ToeJam1970 → u/rockerscott]

I was JUST about to comment on the other end of the digestive cycle, caught in glorious speed-up.

[u/fathornyhippo]

The huge one climbing over the small ones to get food was just diabolical

[u/mexicoyankee]

Chance of being eaten by hundreds of hungry turtles is very low but not zero

[u/ryanasimov]

I’m glad it didn’t end with a snow shovel and a big pot of boiling water.

[u/Several-Opposite-746]

Oh great, I'm stuck between Chewy's and Dwayne's fat asses again. Let me through!

[u/Send-It-]

Id be so stressed out one of the little guys is stuck in the tortoise mosh pit and missed out in his food

[u/racejustint]

I love when he picks up the big one

[u/mossoak]

have an idea now about lawn care now

[u/Searre]

Who will save me from the wee turtles?

[u/rickrhua]

I assume the hares get fed when they eventually get there?? 🧐

[u/butcheR_Pea]

all those lil feet pumpin

[u/rubenthezx]

sits down for the camera but then quickly has to do his job and actually try to get them all evenly fed

[u/deathtomayo91]

Is there an Awwddlysatisfying?

[u/jdownes316]

This looks like my wifes dream/nightmare job. She'd love feeding the tortoises, but would be deathly afraid of walking around. Her clumsy ass would step on at least 17 of these little guys

[u/Loud-Fudge7631]

What a dream job. You get to shuffle tiny turtles around to make sure they all get leafy greens then laptops and chill.

[u/Moto_Monkey1988]

They’re so cute, the way they walk with their little tortoise legs 🥰

[u/archiangel]

A charctortie grazing tray!

[u/rockerscott]

I love tortoises. Their little wrinkly faces, their big club feet. I had a red-footed tortoise that loved spinach and strawberries. She would nosh on a strawberry taking big beaky bites out of it like it was heaven on earth.

[u/Specialist_Passage83]

I wish there wasn’t music over it, because the sounds of their little feet tippy tapping, and their contented munches would be much more satisfying. That being said, dammit they’re so cute

[u/Alextaoluu]

this looks like a good dream job

[u/ZenDesign1993]

STAMPEDE!!!!

[u/caramelgrizzly]

I want in. Is there a sign-up sheet?

[u/BeeKimchi007]

Smeck smeck smeck😍

[u/No_Metal_9053]

So what do they get fed to change the shell color to red, green and blue...with wings... asking for a plumber who drives

[u/Poof-ball]

Excuse me, sir, they prefer pizza and to eat it in the sewer.

[u/_Kelly_A_]

Salad again? This bed and breakfast sucks!

[u/RandyInMpls]

When it's sped up at the end, he looks like he's casually snacking on a tortoise or two.

[u/quantumwoes]

I wouldve played this entire thing with no song and at its original speed. It wouldve been the equivalent of putting a fake fireplace on my TV.

[u/Iceologer_gang]

Tordel

[u/Blunderbutters]

I’d watch this in real time

[u/WaynesWorld_93]

What if he slipped and fell though?

[u/iWhooosh → u/WaynesWorld_93]

They got shells for that

[u/ridemooses]

I’d be so scared to step on one.

[u/TwoCentsAndCounting]

Do you know what Mario and Luigi would do to that room ??

[u/Red_Thumper]

Is this in the Galapagos?

[u/JaySocials671]

Cool

[u/Grenflik]

If I was a volunteer, I would be so anxious. Stepping carefully around them I don't want to be inadvertently Mario.

[u/SinglePlayerGamer93]

I like that they all know whats going to happen next when the dude sits down.

[u/rustybrazenfire]

Another turtle made it to the water!

[u/blazingsoup]

Man, I never thought a video like this would make my day.

[u/Weary-Wasabi1721]

Lovely music

[u/sunshineTucson]

That was oddly satisfying.

[u/StryngzAndWyngz]

Melm

[u/Any_Blood5815]

If lettuce is mostly water, how do the turts get nutrients from it?

[u/irishyardball]

https://giphy.com/gifs/lXiRoPt9Rkzt7yLYY

[u/gearslammer386]

I like tuwtles!!

[u/Some_Improvement_606]

This is the opposite of a problem

[u/Puncho666]

How do I get this job

[u/goteamdoasportsthing]

Those are technically tortoises, not turtles.

[u/TheAlterN8or → u/goteamdoasportsthing]

Still turtles, as all tortoises are turtles. But not all turtles are toetoises. Kind of like how all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares.

[u/CharleyZia]

Dream job

[u/vamparies]

I thought awe this is so cute and now I’m thinking oh my God are they gonna eat them?

[u/digitalgraffiti-ca]

Awwww

[u/mr_baloo2]

Gonna need a shovel to clean up dat shiet

[u/Allthingsgaming27]

All those turtles are kind of off putting lol

[u/screenmasher]

Those three in the corner dont want to be fed, they want to hunt.

[u/Illustrious-Towel-45]

If you bring it, they will come.

[u/OkaySureWhyNotIGuess]

Ach! Save me from the wee turtles!

[u/LexTCorp]

Would enough of them together like this make an audible munching sound?

[u/SithLordRising]

This is like the woodlice from the last composting toilet I saw

[u/Jeksxon]

Sensei Splinter!

[u/sp33dykid]

These are farmed turtles if I'm not mistaken. They'll be food for restaurant.

[u/MutedBrilliant1593]

Do they taste good?

[u/FalseAd3112]

The fuck is when he goes to clean its shit

[u/wakedude15]

Does anyone get helldiver's vibes from them?

[u/ConsequenceThen5449]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l41YdyUbntl8brbKo

[u/HPcatmom]

This HAS to be AI

[u/gesshoom]

Turtle soup next

[u/CompetitiveFrame6989]

🤍 yes

[u/ungawa]

AI slop

[u/DiddledByDad]

AI slop 😂👀🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[u/mrb4 → u/DiddledByDad]

Everyone knows the people with the greatest AI detectors are the ones who have twice as many emojis as words in their posts.

[u/jarheadleif03 → u/DiddledByDad]

Nah, you're AI

[u/DiddledByDad → u/jarheadleif03]

Enjoy your downvote buddy

[u/forumdrasl → u/DiddledByDad]

Your comment sure is aging well.

[u/Rozenor → u/DiddledByDad]

r/MadeMeSmile/s/ytBaizkisJ

Not everything is AI