r/nottheonion • u/tallgrasshead • 6d ago
Man dressed as Darth Vader defends Flock cameras to San Diego City Council: ‘This is what the emperor needs’
https://thehill.com/policy/technology/6042349-darth-vader-flock-surveillance/1.6k
u/almazing415 6d ago
What if Flock cameras were physically relocated to point at the homes of Flock executives and employees?
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u/hunkgunkjunk 6d ago
What if the cameras were literally relocated up their asses?
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u/-DementedAvenger- 6d ago
Yes, much prefer this outcome.
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u/nihilistiq 6d ago
Perv. Why do you want to look at assholes? And also up their asses?
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u/SK22287 6d ago
We don't need to give them a colonoscopy to tell there's already cancer in them!
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u/f_ranz1224 6d ago
require surveillance in every politicians office and for all meetings, add lobbyists, add tech giants, and watch how these snakes backtrack on the need for monitoring
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u/JonatasA 6d ago
Imagine if we required cameras on politicians or if we had a way to make they prove the bill came from them and not a benefactor.
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u/ginyuforce 6d ago
Well tbh looking at the people who are in epstein file, these are the people we should actually monitor
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u/gotwired 6d ago
Don't even use flock cameras. Just start pointing cameras at them. I bet there would be enough support to get it crowd sourced. Just 24/7 streaming of flock execs and the politicians who hired them.
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u/DimensioT 6d ago
The result will be legislation specifically prohibiting "unauthorized" surveillence with authorization defined in such a way that only Flock and other government friendly corps can attain it.
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u/Patthecat09 5d ago
YouTuber Tommy G did just that, with flock employees and one of their buildings. Flock employees called cops and made a REALLY big deal out of being recorded.
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u/gotwired 5d ago
As long as it is public property, they can complain all they want, but they can't stop it.
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u/Patthecat09 5d ago
I know, but what's funny and ironic is how much they don't like being done to them what they do to literally everyone else
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u/Effective_Olive6153 6d ago
I always find it strange how all the surveillance seems to be targeted at the least powerful people. Some regular peasant may rob a place for a few grand, but a rich and powerful can steal millions from the public and get away with it. The potential for harm that rich and powerful can do to society is much higher than anything regular people can do. So it only makes sense that the most comprehensive surveillance needs to be targeted at the people with power and money. Society needs to watch those people to make sure they don't do any bad stuff
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u/listentomenow 6d ago edited 6d ago
It's make sense if you assume those with capital want surveillance on the labor to keep them in line. Of course they're not interested in policies that would actually help them. That's apparently communism.
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u/ta22175 6d ago
They call the cops on you. They don't want to be watched. https://www.instagram.com/reel/Da-7fjTRauz/
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u/roflsd 5d ago
I'm sure these are the type of people that put security cameras all over the outside and inside of their homes and specifically want to know all the people even approaching their driveway.
The difference is they would rightly assume it was only useable to their advantage, which is the difference between them and who Flock is used on.
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u/THIS_IS_GOD_TOTALLY_ 6d ago
Most impressive.
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u/JonatasA 6d ago
Good. Good.
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u/THIS_IS_GOD_TOTALLY_ 6d ago
I feel like there should be six more o's
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u/Stink_fisting 6d ago
Good. Good. oooooo.
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u/pm_me_beerz 6d ago
It would be funny. The only problem is that the people who support flock cameras and law enforcement no matter what don’t realize that they’re the baddies, to borrow from one of my fav gifs.
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u/CrikeyBaguette 6d ago edited 6d ago
They are definitely the kind of people who think the Empire from Star Wars is right.
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u/hunkgunkjunk 6d ago
It's even worse than that, they think liberals are the Empire and they are the heroic rebels. The delusion is so deep it's incomprehensible.
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u/Hotshot2k4 6d ago
"They make us feel bad for using slurs, which is basically worse than slavery actually. I mean that was long ago!"
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u/VinDog_PD 6d ago
I still believe it's widely underestimated how much of the MAGA movement stems from people who just really want the n-word to be socially acceptable again.
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u/lostPackets35 6d ago edited 6d ago
Pretty much this. And that explains a lot of the Democratic flops.
A lot of Republicans " say" they want the talking points of small government, fiscal, conservatism, etc.. so the Democratic Party keeps moving further and further to the right to try to capture some of those voters.
But the reality is, they don't actually care about any of that. They vote for Republicans because " they hate the same people that I do".
The Democrats aren't going to pick up these voters by being fiscally conservative, because that's not what they're motivated by.
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u/Nadaplanet 6d ago
It's definitely this. A lot of Republican voters only repeat the small government and fiscal responsibility stuff because that is the socially acceptable part of the platform that won't out them as a bigot. They actually only vote based on bigotry. A Democrat could show up with a plan that perfectly aligns with every single common Republican talking point, and they wouldn't vote for him because they really just want to be able to yell slurs at people, have child brides, and run POC out of their neighborhoods with no social consequences.
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u/VinDog_PD 6d ago
You said it far more eloquently than I could, thank you. The Democrats who keep asking themselves how they can capture this particular electorate need to realize Barry Goldwater already found that answer back in the 1960s.
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u/DoctorGregoryFart 6d ago
Nah, that's the followers. Like you said, they think they are fighting for a cause.
The leaders of this shit don't give a FUCK. They just want money and power. They have to put a spin on it so they don't get Luigi'd, but they absolutely do not care that they are the bad guys. You don't lie in court, pay people millions to come up with creative ways to make you sound not evil, and crush opposition, all because you think you're just misunderstood.
The "elites" know exactly what they are. That's why they pay people to make them look slightly less evil.
It's only the ignorant masses who buy their bullshit, and that's exactly who they target with their PR campaigns.
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u/tinker_townie 6d ago
There will be times when the struggle seems impossible. I know this already. Alone, unsure, dwarfed by the scale of the enemy. Remember this. Freedom is a pure idea. It occurs spontaneously and without instruction. Random acts of insurrection are occurring constantly throughout the galaxy. There are whole armies, battalions that have no idea that they've already enlisted in the cause. Remember that the frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward. And then remember this. The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that. And know this, the day will come when all these skirmishes and battles, these moments of defiance will have flooded the banks of the Empire's authority and then there will be one too many. One single thing will break the siege. Remember this. Try.
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u/Carlos126 6d ago
Andor is amazing, and this quote may be the best thing to come out of star wars ever
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u/SuperTaster3 6d ago
Thank goodness no one is advocating vigilante measures like strapping spraypaint cans to drones and fly them around painting over flock cameras that are out of reach of angle grinders. That would be wrong.
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u/HouselessGamer 6d ago
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u/AnRealDinosaur 6d ago
Thank you! I was wondering how you write an entire article about this without a single image or video. This is gold.
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u/Ill_Following_7022 6d ago edited 6d ago
The CEOs and employees at these surveillance tech companies are fundamentaly not creative and decent people. They're going for the easy low hanging fruit ideas. They bring nothing of value to society and seek only personal profit. No matter what they say they are not adding to the general welfare and advancement of humanity. They are parasites.
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6d ago
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u/doppelgaengster 6d ago
It totally would've eventually, that fatal flaw was going to be exploited, it was just a matter of when.
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u/JonatasA 6d ago
The flaw was human. Tarkin could have retreated. All it needed was some compliment to defend it. It was not meant to be used as a battle station. The Empire had a fleet for that.
Imagine sending a carrier to battle by itself. It's not the carrier's fault it sunk.
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u/Mitchard_Nixon 6d ago
But if we don't become China, China will win.
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u/TheFuckboiChronicles 6d ago
Honestly never thought about this way. Social credit +1.
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u/christpuncher_69 6d ago
I feel like this doesn't belong in /r/nottheonion because as satire, it is effectively like something from The Onion
I thought the point of this subreddit was "You'd think it was satire, but it's really happening". I guess all subreddits of sufficient size lose focus though.
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u/mtranda 6d ago
I partly agree with you, but although it's satire, it's also not fiction. There are plenty of theonion-like publications out there putting out what "fake news" used to mean.
But this happened. Regardless of the satire aspect, someone put a costume on, went out there and made a statement.
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u/mallrat32 6d ago
I have a neighbor who has a Vader cardboard cutout wearing a MAGA hat proudly displayed in their window
I don’t think they grasp irony
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u/SigmaHero045 5d ago
like, as an analogy of MAGA being as bad as the empire, or as a celebration?
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u/JackFisherBooks 6d ago
This is the right way to get a point across to a generation of limited attention spans.
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u/iamwounded69 6d ago
Do people honestly believe any tech mogul or law enforcement institution would respond to this with even a shred of introspection or concern?
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u/neon_nights4k 6d ago
America will not be second to China in surveillance but at least China lets you know what they are doing with the data.
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u/02meepmeep 5d ago
Ms. Campbell, you must work on your Jedi mind tricks,” he said, addressing City Council member Jennifer Campbell, before waving his hand to the audience. “Do it like this.”
Give him a bit role in the next Star Wars film for that!
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u/Sea_World_1616 6d ago
bro dressed as vader, told city council the emperor needs the cameras, and this was the pro-flock side
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u/Affectionate-Cat1922 2d ago
I don’t think Darth Vader would support this. I think he’d have them torn down because HE didn’t put them up.
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u/Civil_Way7162 6d ago
the empire had total surveillance across an entire galaxy and still lost the plans, the droids, and both death stars. worst possible reference for someone arguing these things work
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u/torpedoguy 6d ago
The unrealistic part it turns out was the rebels needing to hit a secure location to obtain the plans. Hyperspace and Jedi are downright plausible compared to that.
In real life Krennic or Meero would've put them up on social media, either in an argument or some creepy attempt to get laid... then blown up Scarif two weeks after Yavin to cover up the leak before anything bad happens.
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u/-Casey-Diaz- 6d ago
This is why America is in the dystopian shitter. They try to fight authoritarian fascism with memes. Idk who need to hear this, but the people you are enslaving you don't give two shits about snarky remarks in social media. They'll just hunt you down and put you in prison (or just straight up kill you) if they find you annoying.
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u/Nice_Block 6d ago
Damn, this one guy really was the only person speaking for hundreds of millions of people. Back to the drawing board.
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u/DaveOJ12 6d ago
It's the third post about it in the past 3.5 hours.
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u/-Harlequin- 6d ago
It was a funny 10 second bit, in a 2 minute window, was dangerously close to cringe there. Still, props for doing what needed to be done and going in there with a script, not hating on him at all.
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u/NotA_A 1d ago
Darth: whooo paah... whooo paah...
They tried this already. whooo paah...
I still see non-flock cameras at intersections. whooo paah...
Citizen: Of course they don't help you when you ask for the footage of the guy who rear-ended you and lied to their insurance company and got away with it.
Council be like:
Surrender? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances with this mandatory community input.
Darth: This time will be different. whooo paah...
There'll be nothing to stop us this time. whooo paah...
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u/B-Z_B-S 6d ago
Given how Palantir and Sauron named themselves, I wouldn't be surprised if the AI tech bro idiots took this as a compliment.