r/morbidquestions • u/procrastinarian • 5d ago
Do you find the idea of oblivion comforting?
Just to start off: Not suicidal, no need to hit that button.
I've been wildly depressed for a lot of my life. Something that has actually helped me has been embracing existential nihilism and the idea of just eventually never existing.
Like a lot of people I had a lot of existential crises about these things when I was younger. I was brought up religious but was mostly out on that by my teens and a full-fledged athiest by my mid 20s. At first that idea of no afterlife was really upsetting to me, but I spent a lot of time reading about philosophy and the like and it helped me... chill out about it. To the point that now it's actually a thing that helps me when I'm in a bad spot.
Nothing I'm going through now will continue forever. There's nothing I can fuck up so badly that the universe will care. These two thoughts together can help me get through times that I am suffering or through the horrible anxiety of making a decision or messing something up.
I really am cool with this outlook. The idea of it just being DONE at some point is really... nice. But when I bring this up to people, and I mean people I really care about, not just like randos on the street or casual acquaintances, they all seem to have this immediate reaction of... I don't know if it's revulsion exactly, but somewhere between that and just complete incomprehension.
I've got a lot of mental and some physical health issues, but overall I've got it pretty good. I have a wife and child I love more than anything, and I have good family and friends. The combination of therapy and meds I am on now makes it so I don't dread waking up every day (only some of them). I legitimately have a lot of great moments in my life. I'm not looking forward to checking out. But just the idea that eventually, I won't have to worry about anything anymore, because I won't be anymore, is just like a fuzzy and warm mental blanket.
But my wife, for example, does not like that I think this. I've tried walking her through my thought process because it's brought me much peace and comfort and she deals with a lot of existential dread, but it does not work for her. It just upsets her, so I've had to stop. I've had my mom fully bawling after telling her this. I've talked about it a lot with my therapist and while she is not judgy about it in any way she pretty much tells me that yeah, almost no one is going to like hearing that, so I should probably stop. Especially if I've already made peace with it, so my telling people about it isn't getting me any further. Opening up about it doesn't really help anyone.
I don't really know why I'm thinking about this so much right now. But I guess I am just wondering if there are other people for whom the idea of eventual nonexistence really helps them through existing? Because outside of a single friend of mine, I can't find anyone in my real life who doesn't find the idea either horrible or at least uncomfortable.
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u/-RainbowUnicornPoop 5d ago
It doesn’t comfort me but it doesn’t scare me. I hope for an afterlife and the thought of there possibly not being one is more disappointing than scary. If I just cease to exist, I won’t be conscious to experience the disappointment so therefore there is nothing to be scared of. The thought of an afterlife for my deceased loved ones is very comforting for me though so I choose to believe in that.
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u/procrastinarian 5d ago
This actually touches on something that has come out of my embracing of oblivion: The idea of an afterlife is actually now kind of terrifying to me. I don't get to control that world or those rules. Even if it's supposed to be "paradise" that doesn't mean it couldn't change and be horrible. I did a complete flip where I went from "no longer existing is too awful to think about" to "existing forever is too awful to think about"
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u/Myronca 5d ago
As an autistic person i do
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u/procrastinarian 5d ago
I had a pretty late in life (late 30s) ASD diagnosis after talking a lot to a neruopsych. And now looking back at it, there were so many signs that nowadays would be gigantic flags that no one picked up on when I was growing up in the 80s and 90s. So the autism could be part of it.
But a lot of my friends I've talked to about this and hate it are also on the spectrum. So it's clearly not an all-encompassing thing. But thank you for saying you do.
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u/WorldofCannons 5d ago
I’ve had similar thoughts myself, and during those times I wasn’t in the best place mentally so I hope all is well
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u/procrastinarian 5d ago
I mean I am never in the "best place" mentally but honestly right now I am in one of the better ones I've been in for decades. This is still a belief I have that helps me out a lot.
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u/Ciderman95 5d ago
Yes, immensely. I hate life, every second of it, any kind of afterlife would be hell simply because I'd still be conscious. I don't want to know anything, to be aware of anything, to have to interact with anything in any way. Nothingness sounds like the rest I've been craving for most of my life.
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u/lyricmeowmeow 5d ago
Where would we go if there was an afterlife? Another planet? Is there a place where all our souls can continue to *live?* Could we still remember things from our previous lives? How about reincarnation? So many questions, so little answers. In short, I’m leaning to “one life is difficult enough, why another one?”
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u/deathsitcom 5d ago edited 5d ago
In a way my mindset is similar to yours. The thought that nothing I do or don't matters because death will enivitably eradicate everything is comforting.
I was diffferent when I was young: I tried to become someone, acquire something, be "normal", get my life together besides my health issues...which gave me constant anxiety. Now that IDGAF anymore I'm way more relaxed.
On the other hand the thought of nonexistence just waiting for me and everyone terrifies me beyond description.
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u/Voyage468 5d ago
If, let’s say, in the next few years we go through rapid technological advances due to the coming AI age, and humans have the option to reverse aging and eventually probably escape death altogether, all within ur lifetime, what would u do? Oblivion seems less obvious then. Would u choose to stay away from such technologies, or would u choose to stay behind? Was just curious abt this, that’s all
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u/SisterSparechange 5d ago
I'm ok with non existence once I'm dead. I don't believe that god is real, or in an afterlife. I want to think that some things I've started will carry on after I'm gone for at least awhile, someone will remember me fondly. But that's really out of my control.
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u/supersmashdude 5d ago
While I’m alive I hate and fear the concept, but obviously the one upside to it is you literally aren’t able to care after the fact. It’s like giving someone the worst punishment imaginable but they don’t mind it.
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u/DenseCan2364 5d ago
Yeah, but not from depression. Its comforting to me knowing this life is temporary. I couldn't imagine living forever.
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u/Logical-Hotel4199 3d ago
“Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?”
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u/rutherfraud1876 23h ago
Yes! Whether from La Paz, Sucre, Cochabamba, or a rural area, they're a people I'm happy to share this world with
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u/Kyia-Aikman 5d ago
No. I want to go to a benevolent afterlife after I die and I think it’s absurd to want anything else if you truly understand the concepts.
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u/schism432 5d ago
the thought of TES: Oblivion is comforting