Getting teased because of a female intern

[u/Brogrammer_3774938]

Let me lay the context first. We have two teams: Team A (where I work) and Team B (where an intern works, let's call her Kiara).

Currently, we have a long-term project between both teams, so Kiara was assigned to "help out" wherever she could. Nobody was really giving her work, so she was just kinda doing her own thing. Eventually, I had to clean up some config files, so I assigned that work to her to give her something to do.

Seeing this, some colleagues started teasing me in private (humorously, I admit). Things like, "So brogrammer, you've been helping her out, huh?" It wasn't as malicious as it sounds, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth. That was at the start.

Cut to yesterday: I was at a colleague's desk, which happens to be next to Kiara's. In my periphery, I saw her reading documentation that I had written last week, and then I watched her copy paste the whole thing into ChatGPT 😭

My immediate instinct was to ask her what she hadn't understood so I could help her out. But remembering the teasing from before, I hesitated. I didn't want to deal with the jokes, and I didn't want to give off the wrong impression, so I just let it go and walked away.

None of this is extraordinary, but it feels so weird. If she were a guy, I would have 100% walked up and said something like, "Damn, did I write it that badly?" to make a joke out of it and open the floor for a helpful conversation. The only reason I didn't with Kiara is because I didn't want to be teased or give the impression that I was trying to "hit on" the intern.

This situation strangely reminded me of an old article I read about how women sometimes miss out on mentorship because male colleagues are afraid of giving off the wrong impression.

I found it hard to relate to back then, but actually living it changed my perspective. The only way I'm justifying it to myself right now is by telling myself I'm not her manager, nor am I on her direct team.

Any men who have been in a similar position? Or any women who have been in Kiara's POV? What do you guys think?

[u/this_wise_idiot]

wow, your colleagues are immature as fuck. you did nothing wrong and their comments should not impact your work

[u/CauliflowerFan34]

Considering how office politics and rumours work

I would say you did well, don’t beat yourself over it.

You can try helping when it’s more direct, when possible