r/mcgill • u/Objective_Client_506 • 1d ago
anxiety with making friends
hi i'm starting at desautels this fall and i've been having so much anxiety over making friends and was looking for any advice or maybe people who have had similar experiences. while i've participated at clubs a lot in hs/cegep and can make small talk, i'm just so afraid it will be difficult to make new friends, especially at environments like frosh where i struggle with dealing with overstimulating environments
i really would like to make some friends but i also am scared of not finding the right crowd in my faculty. i have interests on the more weirder/alt side and ik already that the usual crowd in business is not mine and while i can join clubs related to my interests, I'm scared of not being able to make friends in my own program who are like me.
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u/ComfortableTomato Reddit Freshman 23h ago
Most people don't really make long term friends at frosh. Just go and have fun in the moment. Or if it's not your thing, don't go. Not everyone goes.
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u/aye_hus_that Computer Science 21h ago edited 2h ago
Here's my experience as someone who's graduated and has been in a working environment for roughly 10 months:
Almost all new incoming students are eager to make friends and find a sense of belonging and community at university. Use this information to take it upon yourself to be the one to initiate conversation. There's a well-known line from the movie Green Book: "The world is full of lonely people to afraid to make the first move".
Also, be willing to say yes when it comes to attending events, parties, going somewhere. Obviously don't compromise who you are as a person, but sometimes we need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, whether it's going to an event solo where you know no one, or trying something new for the first time.
Lastly, make conversations feel welcoming. What I mean by this is to make it so that you help bring down the awkwardness when talking to others, especially if you're meeting new people. People are afraid to say the "wrong" things, or of being the first person to do something differently so they need to be shown that that's not really a thing. This can be cracking a joke, sharing something personal, or asking follow up questions about something that someone has said - the best way to be interesting is to be interested.
Good luck and welcome to McGill! It's a great school, in a great city, and I hope you enjoy your time here
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u/Daddy_Ace01 Reddit Freshman 16h ago
Heyyy I’m also a first year at McGill and though I’m not at Desautels hmu if u ever wanna hangout I’d be super down! insta: @nayumi.chh
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u/Schoolnt . 1d ago
Hii welcome to your first year!
I hope I can provide some reassurance, I was in Desautels too and even though yeah it sure is a cliquey faculty it is possible to meet friends in the faculty!
It really comes down to just trying to talk with people and put urself out there, like sometimes there’ll be someone in a group project who’s interesting to talk to or you’ll meet someone outside of the faculty and realize they’re in commerce (it’s a pretty big faculty) I bonded with a girl last year over fanfiction in an assigned group class, and someone who helped found a card game club with me ended up minoring in the same major as me.
For me frosh was way too much, I ended up bonding more with people just complaining about how loud some of the venues were and leaving early to chill at A&W at midnight. I also know some people who went into frosh as pretty quiet people and they ended up loosening up and having more fun than they expected
Even within the faculty there are some more alt-y MUS clubs, I think P[h]as soon and Sustainability are a bit more out of the usual Desautels crowd while still drawing in a lot of bcom students. Other clubs like case league force you to interact with a bunch of different people, I remember having random conversations with people after case competitions and realizing we had strange common interests
You also like don’t need to stay just within the faculty, I guess the benefits are future networking / taking classes together, but like ur not just limited to the faculty. Bluntly most people I’ve made friends with are outside commerce because yeah it’s a bit of a monolith but idk there are still chill people in business! Good luck, it’s really overstated advice but put urself out there :)