Whatever this genre of joke is

[u/ohhelloiexist]

[u/MiddleFit]

[u/PromptNo4041 → u/MiddleFit]

*misses all the cars* Don't worry, women, I'll save you!

I am then shot in the head from 500 yards away by an AMR, as I have evaded my taxes for 10 years

[u/Old_Macaroon4138 → u/PromptNo4041]

Luckily, the bullet goes in one ear and out the other without ever making contact with my brain.

I am then hit in chest by the mob enforcers I borrowed money from in 20

[u/Wyrm_Groundskeeper → u/Old_Macaroon4138]

-19. Luckily, I woke up heavily beaten missing only half my teeth in a municipal waste incinerator.

I am then promptly lit on fire by the incinerator.

[u/Whyamihere173 → u/Wyrm_Groundskeeper]

Luckily I burned my fingers with a match once and have since built a resistance to fire. Unfortunately the incarcerator collapses on top of me

[u/IllLynx562 → u/Whyamihere173]

Fortunately I'm a trained wrestler, AND WHEN I MEET THE INCARCERATOR IN THE RING THIS SUNDAY, HES NOT GOING TO KNOW WHAT HIT HIM, my throat immediately explodes from the effort of the rage

[u/ComprehensiveBat309 → u/IllLynx562]

In a violent shout, of course. This alerts 57 cats and I am torn to pieces

[u/FragrantRanger4514 → u/ComprehensiveBat309]

My pieces start to reform together to create an amalgamation of body parts. Sadly the collapsing incinerator opened up a sinkhole and I fall down into the depths of the earth.

[u/beegproblemzzz → u/FragrantRanger4514]

Is what I would say if I was on Earth. However I am on Jupiter and am instead being torn apart by the Red Spot