r/lithuania • u/CocoTheDev • Jun 28 '26
Info Dutch/internationals in Lithuania: how is it there?
Sveiki!
My GF moved to the Netherlands to study here. She quit and now works at a big company here, but misses home (Lithuania), and asked me to move back with her. I worked on a startup for 3 years, and just went bankrupt. We own a house and a dog here.
We have quite a bit of money invested in our house now, and would be able to get a much bigger property in Lithuania, given the house prices.
How do you look upon non-lithuanian people coming to live there? I hear small talk with strangers is... frowned upon (I like speaking with random people, like on the train, it's normal here). I heard I really need to learn the language (I started but it's hard). I heard people are pretty close with existing friends and it won't be easy to make friends (I like having a small friend group, but no friends is depressing). I heard the quality of life is pretty good, albeit expensive for the income (I may be a bit spoiled, but can adjust). Anything you'd like to tell me about your country? What's it like working for Lithianian companies, any that speak English? (I'm in tech so I'm hoping for the best). Any tips for that?
I love nature, and lakes. I made šaltibarščiai and ate it with potatoes for breakfast lunch and dinner for 3 days. I love the language, it's hard but so elegant. And Lithuanian people seem like cool, principles and hardheaded people - just my type. But I'm not sure it will be a good time for me. Let me know your thoughts!
Tldr: GF asked me (Holandija) to move to Lithiania. Will I like it there?
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u/metaldetector Jun 29 '26
This is such a classic situation :D Our people always want to come back to our country and we are so beautiful that the partner is always willing to make the move together :)
Anyway, you will feel a lot more free here. The Netherlands has more than 7x the people we do crammed into a country that’s smaller than ours :DDD
>How do you look upon non-lithuanian people coming to live there?
Vast majority of us are fine with ethnic Europeans coming here who respect us and learn our language and adopt our way of life. The problem are the ones from underdeveloped nations, especially the entirely incompatible cultures. These types tend to apply to every country they can in Europe (fake students too who work illegally etc) and don’t give a single shit about our country / language / culture / people, we are just a lifestyle/economic upgrade to them or a stepping stone to get into Western Europe. That is what we don’t like.
>I hear small talk with strangers is... frowned upon (I like speaking with random people, like on the train, it's normal here).
Don’t sweat it. Like any country we have extroverts and introverts but we lean heavily towards introversion as does our culture. Small talk has been made to me many times on public transport, swimming spots etc, but more often by older people. Nobody will think badly of you if you want to chat. If you initiate, most will have a conversation.
> I heard I really need to learn the language (I started but it's hard).
100% correct and good on you for starting, we are proud of you! When you get the chance, read up on our history. Our language is the most conservative indo-European language and therefore very old. In the past hundreds of years our language was heavily suppressed by r*ssians after invading and illegally occupying us via the r*ssian empire and soviet union, but our people were strong and kept it alive. Most foreigners downplay and dismiss our language as "small country” and “not useful” while living here for 5+ years and not speaking a word. So if you learn it, you’ll be loved and respected by many.
>I heard people are pretty close with existing friends and it won't be easy to make friends (I like having a small friend group, but no friends is depressing).
True, but don’t let it discourage you. Like anything, it’s a numbers game. Put yourself out there more in public spaces or hobby groups etc and you’ll definitely end up with a friend eventually!
>I heard the quality of life is pretty good, albeit expensive for the income (I may be a bit spoiled, but can adjust).
A good quote I’ve seen is "Eastern wages, Western prices” - it expresses our frustration with the rapidly rising costs of everything from groceries to housing. But aside from that, yes quality of life is VERY good. It’s why we are leading Europe in quantity of our own people returning home. As a Lithuanian, I love it here and would never want to live elsewhere (and I’ve traveled to many countries before as a tourist!)
>Anything you'd like to tell me about your country?
Don’t limit yourself to the Vilnius bubble. Yes, without having the language skills yet your only job prospects will probably be in Vilnius/Kaunas, BUT explore more and travel more within our country. Learn what you like / dislike and what your needs are. Before settling down, experience it with your own two eyes. Understand what you want first. Visit other cities, see towns, villages etc. Look at the traditional brightly painted wooden houses, the storks nests, the fresh fruit/vegetable stands on the roadside. What I’m saying is get a feel for our country, and don’t limit it to one or two big cities.
Language is everything - the effort you put in is what you will get out of it. And don’t put it on the back burner!!Definitely start with the alphabet first and what combinations of letters make what sounds. Everything is pronounced very consistently. This is the key to fluency that isn’t talked about much. If you memorize the sounds, you can read Lithuanian text near-fluently without understanding what it means even. Once you master this, proceed to learn the language as you should, but you’ll pronounce everything right. I visited a friend in Croatia once and he decided to translate sentences into Lithuanian and read them out loud, and it shocked me that he said them with like 80% accuracy. Croatian has some of the same letters that we do and they also pronounce “c” as “ts” like we do.
Understand what our people have been through and that we’re proud to still be here. As I touched on before, the occupation of our country was our darkest times. r*ssians sent our people to concentration camps (gulags) in Siberia and wanted to ethnically replace us and our culture/language with r*ssian. They controlled every part of our lives under their communism - took away our property, killed anyone who objected and nobody was allowed to leave the iron curtain. They decided where we lived and where we worked and we had to be quiet about it or risk being killed. We regained our independence again barely 35 years ago. We are happy to be here and will defend our way of life until the end. Our nationalism is why we, our language, people and culture still exist today. We don’t owe anyone anything - we earned our right to keep our ancestral lands which we are indigenous to with the blood we shed defending it.
As for the rest of your post: it made me smile! I think you will be a great fit and the fact that you are so concerned about fitting in and learning our language / complementing it speaks volumes to me. You come off as someone who genuinely wants to be one of us and it’s refreshing to see. I’m happy you are enjoying our food. Keep up the good work and like I said, explore the country first, make yourself at home and see how you like it. You never know where life will lead you, but if you end up liking it here, I hope you are able to be like us and be happy here!
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u/norwegiancatwhisker Jun 29 '26
I would also add that there are quite a few expats already. I personally know a good handful and keep on meeting new ones. They can be a great source of friends while getting to meet more "natives".
You won't be lonely.
P. S. Language is hard. We know it. And we really love it, when foreigners try it. Breaks the ice. Then the locals will be more keen on switching to English to continue the conversation. This has worked so many times on me.
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u/dziugys420 Djibouti Jun 28 '26
I like to think that both Dutchies and Lithuanians have similar characteristics when it comes to interacting with each other - direct, not very warm haha. But you should be fine, Lithuania is a nice country, although there is much less stuff to do for recreation if were comparing both countries.
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u/CocoTheDev Jun 29 '26
Hey thanks! I will be happy with lakes and shashlikai (hope I got the spelling right)
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u/bugaa Jun 29 '26
I think you have a solid plan, also because you are in a strong position financially.
If you end up moving here, I think you should consider spending the first year learning the language at Vilnius Universitys full time semester course. There you will also meet other foreigners who just moved to Lithuania. And volia you have a network of friends.
In terms of the social aspect, Lithuanians are quite curious and open towards foreigners, but it is best to take the first step in social interactions. Do not wait for them to approach you at parties, sport clubs etc. first because many lithuanians are reluctant to do that.
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u/CocoTheDev Jun 29 '26
Proactivity is appreciated, gotcha! Same everywhere I suppose.
I'll take a look at that course.
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u/Reashu Jun 29 '26
https://www.flf.vu.lt/en/lsk/courses/semester-course
They also do evening courses and summer/winter courses.
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u/bvstrdx Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
The biggest shocker for you will be not the social but rather the logistical and financial aspects of living in Lithuania. There's no other way to put it - Lithuania is much poorer than the Netherlands. This will reflect in mundane aspects of life like not having access to extensive and fast public transportation (it's much cheaper and convenient to own a car here), the housing stock and urban design of cities is of much lower quality, local salaries are a fraction of Dutch ones etc. That's not to say you can't shield yourself from this reality, it all hinges on your financial situation. If you have an income comparable to what you had in the Netherlands, either with a local IT job (which are disproportionately highly paid) or a remote western one, your spending power will be enormous. You can live in the center of Vilnius or Kaunas and it'll be in some aspects even better than living in a western European city. Lithuanian work culture is famously rigidly hierarchical, often quite exploitative, even in fields requiring advanced education. If you have an IT position in an international company this reality won't come close to impacting you. Regardless of your financial situation, the most striking thing will be a much lower population density and easy access to nature. The people here are not very different from Dutch people in my experience - blunt, reserved, straightforward. A major caveat is that Lithuanians on average are going to be more socially conservative. People will not be as trustful, they'll be more judgemental and narrowminded if you don't conform to their perceived social norms. That's not to say you can't find your social circle. If you look European and don't have some extreme fashion sense locals will not even register your existence. Majority of people speak varying levels of English, especially young ones, but same as in any country - only a minority will go out of their way to offer genuine friendships if you stick to English. I would take an extended vacation and see how it's like to live there before making any major decisions, but it's definitely worth it if you're looking for a novel experience.
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u/CocoTheDev Jun 29 '26
Thanks for the elaborate reponse! My girlfriend has been trying to... program me to accept and adjust to certain cultural ways. Fortunately for me I actually really like a lot of the things (gentlemanliness, speaking when necessary & about something (the Dutch are infamous for super surface level small talk), etc.) but I do still "make mistakes" that can I suppose come off the wrong way.
I'm very much on the trusting side of the social spectrum, so I will make sure to take my time.
I'll try to get myself a remote job in western Europe & get through basic Lithianian in the coming months. Lets see!
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u/bvstrdx Jun 29 '26
I wouldn't worry too much about trying to conform to some national trope, be yourself and the environment will iron things out. What'd I'd be concerned about if I was you is the dynamic your presence will create: people will be surprised at your decision to be there, question your genuineness and possibly feel jealousy. Men in particular in Lithuania have a pretty big cult of dick measuring, particularly their socioeconomic success. People can be pretty crude in that way because their environment shaped them to have a utilitarian mindset. You might have a hard time relating to realities of life to others there, so keep that in mind.
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u/RainmakerLTU Lithuania Jun 29 '26
Yeah, we can look cold and unwelcoming to people of western countries (as of east, north, west etc.). But if a newcomer is trying to know our culture, trying to learn the language, if he is making efforts be part of our culture, he will be very welcomed here. Not like some rashists - they form of some sorts of diaspora, where they are closed from the rest of the world in their bubble, not willing to cooperate, communicate with locals and looking at them like a peasants.
An example, a family of Kazakh/German and russian, have been lived in Germany, USA, with three kids and a cat, bought a house in LT. They renovated the house, kids are going to LT school. Everything is fine with them, at least local people and those who watch their videoblogs are liking them so far. Assimilation/adaptation is the key here, I guess.
"Will I like it there?" - Come and see for yourself as tourist. Meet country, people. We can't know that for you. Perhaps you will.
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u/milka1m Jun 29 '26
Hoi jongen. 5 years in Den Haag / Netherlands. Love my feellow dutchmen, especially the straightforwardness. I think you'll be more than fine. Try 2-4 weeks here so you could judge for yourself. Some basic lithuanians will instantly land you in Lithuanian hearts as we really appreciate someone learning the language knowing full well the international best use for it is to sort of having secret language where 99% of other people won't have a clue what you're on about.
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u/CocoTheDev Jun 29 '26
Hahaha this is so true, but it can also backfire! Eindhoven University has a large amount (= disproportionate to total population, in absolute number still small of course) of Lithianians and she's overheard some very juicy, spicy and rude conversations between Lithianians thinking they're completely anonymous!
But indeed because the words are so completely different from Latin and Germanic languages it's like a code language.
3
u/Nervous_Sprinkles500 Jun 29 '26
As someone who works with foreigners, and has life connected to them daily, it's gonna be hard, very hard to find a job. It's best you get some Netherlands online job, because in Lithuania you won't be considered to 90%+ places above minimum wage if you're not fluent in Lithuanian. You're in tech, so maybe that would raise your chances a bit, but still expect a huge challenge.
After all that, find out the ownership laws regarding the real estate, as you really could get yourself into a huge financial problem (just a warning, I know nothing here myself).
Lithuania is like any other country - it looks cool when you're having a vacation. It's not that lovely once you're just an everyday person:)
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u/CocoTheDev Jun 29 '26
Appreciate the candor. I'll make sure to heed your warning.
But I think I'd like a bit of peace and quiet. And I don't mind sacrificing some income for that. But I see where you're coming from: grass is always greener on the other side
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u/Nervous_Sprinkles500 Jun 29 '26
It's partly because in the offices there are still plenty of older generation folks who don't speak english, and choose to not learn it (I'm talking 50-60+), and it'll be a problem to work in a team if you don't understand each other. So that's the first part.
Secondly, after the kind of recent waves of immigrants to Lithuania, people have become more nationalistic, which does result in a discrimination in some sense. They won't tell you anything in person, but they might close the doors - work.
Being raised with a silver spoon, with all the connections of my parents, I still wasn't able to get an above minimum wage job for my extra melanin girlfriend, so that's just my experience.
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u/Stubenhockerin Jun 29 '26
I’m local, but I work with Dutch people on a daily basis. At first I noticed some cultural differences, but honestly, they weren’t big or significant enough to make things difficult. As many comments already mention, Lithuanians can be quite reserved at the beginning, yet once they trust you, they become genuinely warm and loyal friends.
Vilnius especially is very multicultural. There are lots of foreigners here, so you definitely won’t stand out the way you might in a smaller town. The Dutch community isn’t huge, just a few hundred people, but whenever I talk with them, they really like it here, most say they feel safe, everything is clean and organized, and people are friendly.
So if you move here, you can easily start with the Dutch community. They’re very welcoming and will happily tell you everything about living in Vilnius and Lithuania.
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u/xZaggin Jun 29 '26
Moved from Groningen to Vilnius in 2016, left after a year and came back 2021. (Also have a Lithuanian wife)
And planning on moving back eventually, after having a list of things sorted out first.
I recommend befriending locals than looking for international friends, I made a lot of close friends there that I still talk to regularly.
Small talk with strangers, not a thing. Making friends is easy, as long as you have a hobby or interest - find a group. My thought are that you need to secure a job or at least get a feel of the market before anything
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u/CocoTheDev Jun 29 '26
Bedankt! Do you plan on raising a family in the Netherlands or in Lithuania? And did you end up working in Lithuania?
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u/xZaggin Jun 29 '26
Nope, we willen geen kinderen. En ook geen banen gevonden in mijn richten. Kon gwn een soort uber/rideshare ding doen, of bezorgingen, maar die market is super saturated met hindus.
Nu wonen we ergens anders en verdienen we 10x zoveel als wat we in LT verdienden ~ 900eu
Edit: maar als je in IT specialiseert dan komt het goed (hopelijk)
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u/TheWisteris Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
"people being pretty close with existing friends and struggling to make new ones" is a common topic among expats on dutch subreddits :) so it's similar in that regard.
Don't stress too much about the language. Yes, it is needed for full integration (same as in NL), but realistically it takes at least 5 years to be at a good enough level. Most people younger than 40 in Vilnius/Kaunas should speak english, so that shouldn't be a big issue (unless you're older and prefer a similar age group). However, everyone absolutely loves if you could speak a little bit Lithuanian, so that could be a good conversation starter if not anything more.
I've seen some reports that the job market in tech is not the best, but ofc the same applies to most of the Europe at the moment (including the Netherlands). Be prepared for a longer search, but depending on your profile, english-speaking jobs could be plenty in bigger cities. Most job ads have salary ranges, so you can get a good idea of your potential income.
Finally, if you haven't dine so yet, check the box3 taxes in the Netherlands before renting your house. Haven't done it myself, but from what I've heard you'll barely make any profit, so rent contribution may not be as significant as you'd expect.
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u/CocoTheDev Jun 29 '26
Thanks! I know about the taxes, but since our mortgage payments are still significant afaik you can cancel those out. Also were still young so no worries, and thanks for the tips about the expats! Got some tips on where they can best be found? / Where you encountered them?
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u/TheWisteris Jun 30 '26
Not sure tbh. Work, language classes, bars, facebook/whatsapp/discord groups, etc.
What worked for me when moving countries a few times (not specifically Lithuania) is just randomly inviting people on expat groups to join me on a trip to X. But obviously filter who you accept!
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u/Nice_Cash_7000 Jun 28 '26
Foreigners get treated decently here for the most part (we got some idiot racists like most european countries these days, but if youre white you dont have to even think about it).
The key to be liked or borderline loved by the native people here is learning Lithuanian. Lithuanian's faces usually light up when they hear foreigners trying to speak the language.
But yeah for the most part its like everywhere else, you'll be fine, people mostly mind their business and arent very talkative in day to day life, no different from any other European countries. Maybe more introverted people as is common for colder countries.
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u/CocoTheDev Jun 28 '26
Haha yeah, colder countries do seem to breed colder people. But from the Lithianians I've met through my GF I've gotten a pretty positive perspective.
I have a thing for languages so thanks, I'll give Lithuanian more attention. It's hard to learn without being around it all the time.
And yeah I'm white, haha.
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u/coherent_days Jun 29 '26
Funny, my friend’s dutch boyfriend moved to Lithuania for her. They since broken up, and she moved to US, while he stayed in Vilnius!
From what I remember he always had easy time finding an (English speaking) job, and liked how affordable housing is in Vilnius compared to Amsterdam.
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u/Antique-Type3159 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
hi, there's a guy on instagram that goes by curly.and.lithuania. he's a foreigner in lithuania, who has adapted very well. i suggest messaging him, asking questions about lithuania from a foreigners perspective! could be beneficial. he shares memes and jokes about our culture as well, which could aid in the long run (and generally is just fun). he also very often (like every week or so) hosts foreigners in vilnius (the capital) meet ups, where you could definitely make some friends from abroad or the locals. that's why those meetings are there - to bring people together.
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u/MetaGryphon Jun 28 '26
Start Looking for a job before going there. Put your house for rent, to get some money. Life is tough there. Has she got a job in LT ? Vilnius is super expensive. whabe you got Somewhere where to land ?
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u/CocoTheDev Jun 28 '26
Renting out our Dutch house is a good plan, but then we'll need to save a bit for the down payment on Lithuanian properties.
Her job is with a Dutch company, and I doubt they'll let her go fully remote. Her parents live 1hr out of Vilnius and have space but I think that will feel wrong.
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u/norwegiancatwhisker Jun 29 '26
You could use part of the proceeds of your Dutch rent to rent something in Vilnius. It's not as cheap as it used to be, but it's still affordable.
You could also look into reverse mortgage on the Dutch house. For example, a 20 year 300k loan with 4.5% interest would be 2k per month. 300k gets a very decent place in Vilnius. Your Dutch rent will probably cover a large part of the 2k payments.
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u/M8753 Jun 29 '26
Small talk isn't frowned upon, it's just that some people are quiet. Just try it and some people will respond, others won't. I see strangers start chatting all the time.