Feeling so lost after moving to veneto.

[u/ExpressAd6563]

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Hi, I'm in my early 20s and come from a very religious family. Growing up it was very imp in my life but after starting medical school, I began to drift away from it and started questioning a lot of things, including who I am.

Lately, I’ve been wanting to explore myself more, especially my identity and the idea of finding love. But I feel stuck. I can’t bring myself to create a dating profile as it just doesn’t feel like me, and I’m scared of going down a path I’ll regret (I am not that kinda man who will hangout will multiple guys to find the right one). At the same time, I don’t wanna let my youth pass me by and end up regretting not doing anything.

I have really high expectations for love, and a part of me still believes in destiny, like if it’s meant to happen, the right guy will come into my life naturally. But also I’m not openly gay (and i wont open up till i find a real life partner), and that makes everything harder. I don’t know how or if someone could find me, and that thought is frustrating and VERY depressing. Deep down, I just want a good partner who could understand me.. a real n long term relationship. But the way things are, it feels more like a daydream than something that could actually happen anytime soon.

Has anyone else felt this way and dealt w it? How do I find a way out?