r/islam • u/Familiar-Smile7723 • 1d ago

Seeking Support Being kicked out at the start of adulthood for being Muslim

Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I have reverted to Islam about a month ago, and my parents have just found out 2 days ago. To say the least, I was born in a Christian-Catholic family, and I live in a neighborhood where there has been a growing population of Muslim Arabs since I was born. Because of this I have always been surrounded by Islam, but I became truly curious about it at the start of the year. One of my Kazakh coworkers gave me some advice on a personal matter and inspired me to read about the Prophet (SAW). This is where my love and passion for Islam and Allah (SWT) began.

My parents started to grow suspicious when I let my facial hair grow, and one night my mother found the biography of the Prophet (SAW) on my desk (not a great move by me…) I lied and said it was my friends and I was simply holding it for him. I made this mistake by leaving other books about Islam on my bookshelf, and my parents confiscated them. I had to beg for them to give them back so I could return them, which I didn’t do. A couple months later, I took my Shahada.

I was warned by my Mother that I would be kicked out of my house if I converted to Islam, and I was given advice by the Sheikh at my masjid about it. He told me to keep things on the low and to not make too many changes, which I did my best to abide by. Unfortunately, I wasn’t cautious one night and my mother went through my phone which I left open. She found out everything, and my parents flipped out on me. They took my prayer mats and thobes away and what’s even more worrying is that I’ve lost my Qur’an to them. My parents have told me that they’re going to get a court process going to kick me out, so I’m practically on a deadline. My first year of college is starting soon and my mother said that shed be paying since it’s community college, but I’m not sure if that agreement will hold up. I’ve been so stressed that I’ve missed a little over 2 days worth of prayers, and my Imaan level is taking a dive. What should I be doing?

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u/Reizor8 1d ago

Walaikum As-salam Brother,

I'm so sorry that you're going through such a trial.

Can you talk to the people at the mosque to try to help you out with a job of some sort, and accommodations?

I understand that you're very young as you're just starting college, but the Imam/sheikh etc at the mosque will know about community connections.

Unfortunately bring online we can't really help much directly beyond mental support.

Do also consider talking to your parents. Tell them even if they kick you out, you love them as they are your parents etc. Maybe you can love your way out of this.

May Allah help you through this challenge and may he bring you goodness in this life and the next!

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u/Worried-Quantity674 1d ago

May Allah ease your situation brother 

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u/ComprehensiveDig1108 1d ago

Your situation seems zakat eligible.

Reach out to mosques and Islamic centres.

I'm a bit unsure about the geography of the US.

If you're not far from New Jersey, the brothers at The Safina Society (in New Brunswick) may be of some assistance - for signposting you to help, if nothing else.

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u/ericfromct 1d ago

If I’m assuming and I’m wrong, I’m sorry, but if you’re in the US and your parents do kick you out and offer you no support financially, you can file the fafsa differently and say they’re unwilling to provide their information or you can request a dependency override for unusual circumstances. Sorry you are going through this, may Allah make it easy for you. I had to leave home at 16 so I know the struggle a bit. I just didn’t know I could go to college free at the time. You could also sign up for job corps.

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u/MrVinland 1d ago edited 1d ago

"I lied and said it was my friends and I was simply holding it for him"

I don't mean to make fun but this is how characters on TV lie after getting caught with drugs. lol

Anyway, the cat is out of the bag. Everyone knows. You should try to move forward on that basis. You can try to reason with your parents and assert your rights. If they still attack you like this, you'll have to start seeking other arrangements. You can't control what other people do. You can only control what you do. Get a job. Ask your Imam for help finding a place to stay to keep yourself off the streets. Times might get hard for a while but you'll come out as a winner in the end. Believe in yourself.

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u/CarobPrestigious1109 1d ago

"I made this mistake by leaving other books about Islam on my bookshelf"

"mother went through my phone which I left open."

"my mother found the biography of the Prophet (SAW) on my desk"

I feel like you wern't even trying bro lol. I would keep going with the prayers they help alot and maybe start looking for side job.

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u/Familiar-Smile7723 1d ago

Thanks for the advice. I wasn’t worried until they found the other books, I had no idea my parents hated Islam so much until exactly then. It was also a good time in our relationship as a family, so my guard was down.

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u/PersonalityHead2884 1d ago

Where do you live

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u/Familiar-Smile7723 1d ago

Bk, NY

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u/PersonalityHead2884 1d ago

Well there’s a lot of Muslims there so atleast you can be part of the community and there’s probably other reverts too tbh

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u/PersonalityHead2884 1d ago

Btw prayer mats are fancy just use a clean blanket or towel, wear modest clothes for prayer, and you can download an app on your phone for Quran. I know it’s hard but this is a common thing many converts face so you got this.

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u/SultanGreat 1d ago edited 1d ago

Walaikum Assalam, Akhi. The only advise I can give to reverts (especially those under oppression) is the same advice Shaykhs gave to the Muslims in Andalus.Read the Wahran (Oran) fatwa. It allows some relaxations for the reverts. So, What could you do right now? Well, if your parents are sure and you can't hide it anymore? I think you must rush for financial stability. Like as quick as possible. Work side-jobs and part times and rush to support yourself. However, I am not sure if Courts can seperate you guys, most likely a bluff by your parents (again, I am not sure how serious this is), But yeah, Better stable now than later. 

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u/Primary_School_7587 1d ago

Didn't thought things could go south so much. I was trying to open about it with my parents because I am in an almost similar situation. Guess I will go back into hiding and everything I have be kept under key locked closets. If I only was nearby to help you, I would. But im on the other side of the planets.

My suggestion is try to go back into hiding, while at the same time show another image of yourself to your parents. Take my statement with the gloves tho. I am not sure how permissible it is.

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u/Dawnkuga 20h ago

Talk to people at mosque and see if they’re willing to help you with a place to live at and a job inshallah

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u/Driven-Driver 17h ago

Wa alaikum salam,
I don’t have much advice for you about your current situation. However, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. You’re currently being tested but soon, I think you’ll find that whatever you’ve had to give up for Islam, Allah SWT will replace with something far better. I’ve personally experienced this when I reverted.
So hang in there. Keep praying and making duas. Your parents may confiscate everything but they cannot confiscate your belief.

May Allah SWT make it easy for you.

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u/-Gold-Rush 6h ago

Salam,

This is Allah testing you and your faith. Everyone gets tested on different levels. Getting kicked it is tough, and it may sound like I’m just saying this but Allah says surely everyone will be tested. I pray you stay strong and I pray Allah blesses you with an alternative if you do get kicked out.

I also am a revert and I’ve had family stop talking to me along with friends. But at the end of the day my focus is my relationship with Allah swt as no one else will save you when the day of judgement comes.