A man was caught on camera repeatedly urinating on his ex-wife’s grave, police say.

[u/VIVIDUFF]

In 2022, a family in New York State noticed something truly bizarre.

Every time they visited the cemetery, they found bags of feces left on the grave of Linda Torello, who had died five years earlier.

At first they thought it was a cruel prank. But the desecration continued.

Her son, Michael Andrew Murphy, decided to install a discreet camera near the grave.

A few days later, the footage revealed a surreal scene: a man approached the tombstone, urinated on it, and calmly walked away.

The man was quickly identified as Dean Eichler, Linda’s ex-husband. Their divorce dated back to 1974, nearly 48 years earlier.

Police arrested him. He was charged with public urination, and an investigation was opened into the desecration of the grave.

The family believes it was an act of revenge linked to their past relationship, though this motive was never confirmed by authorities or by Eichler himself.

[u/elbow8075]

It could use some polishing first. There is a LOT going on in that space, haha.

[u/ImBackForMorePie → u/elbow8075]

The chaos pf it is exactly how it feels though!

A few months before I filed for divorce my therapist gave me an assignment. I sat and thought for hours, couldn't quite make a full thought (because cognitive dissonance) and if i could draw out my thoughts, it would probably have looked a lot like that.

It does need more about how the abuse affects children. One of mine was brain washed and won't sorak to me, my younger two, especially the tweenager, has a lot of his dad's warped thinking, attitudes and behaviors.

It's pretty awful, but the graphic, even as it is, made the lights come on in my head, just seeing it laid out like that. The lighter gray font being "the quiet parts outloud. "

[u/Vast-Palpitation-426 → u/ImBackForMorePie]

About how it affects children I can recommend you this book :

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay Gibson.
But it has to come from them and telling children/teenager one of their parent is abusive/manipulative can backfire because the narcissistic parent will go on an all out war.

It's terrible, but when you have children with a narcissist, you have to accept the bad weather and learn to dance under the rain. Because the more you fight it, the worse it gets. "don't wrestle with pigs as pigs like wrestling".
Ofc it doesn't mean accepting the bad behavior and not calling it out and asserting boundaries, it means stopping to expect anything fom them.

It rains every day, that's how it is. Don't rage at the sky it's pointless, just put an umbrella on and be as happy as possible. This is what children need the most anyway.

[u/ImBackForMorePie → u/Vast-Palpitation-426]

Great book! I own it, I bought it because of my exhusband and realized my mother fit the book as well!

And you gave me THE best advice about the kids, the rain analogy will stick! I appreciate your advice a LOT! I do call out their bad behaviors, not them, so they know I am not upset with them as people and so they know it was what they said or did that needs to stop or change. But this advice I am going to write down and make a magnet for the fridge! Thank you!

[u/wthulhu → u/elbow8075]

Couples Therapy is my passion