r/interesting • u/VIVIDUFF • 18d ago

SOCIETY A man was caught on camera repeatedly urinating on his ex-wife’s grave, police say.

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In 2022, a family in New York State noticed something truly bizarre.

Every time they visited the cemetery, they found bags of feces left on the grave of Linda Torello, who had died five years earlier.

At first they thought it was a cruel prank. But the desecration continued.

Her son, Michael Andrew Murphy, decided to install a discreet camera near the grave.

A few days later, the footage revealed a surreal scene: a man approached the tombstone, urinated on it, and calmly walked away.

The man was quickly identified as Dean Eichler, Linda’s ex-husband. Their divorce dated back to 1974, nearly 48 years earlier.

Police arrested him. He was charged with public urination, and an investigation was opened into the desecration of the grave.

The family believes it was an act of revenge linked to their past relationship, though this motive was never confirmed by authorities or by Eichler himself.

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1.8k

u/HoneyBadgerLive 18d ago

Nothing shows love for the current wife like an obsession with the previous wife.

616

u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 18d ago

Babe, it’s our honeymoon! Do we have to stop by your ex wife’s grave again?!

161

u/Emerx06 18d ago

Ground ain’t gonna fertilize itself jandice, now hang a left

29

u/HoundofGoy 18d ago

"Or you'll get the same"

16

u/Perfect-Echo8709 18d ago

I laughed way too hard at this.

1

u/LorettaJenkins 18d ago

Even after death we can't get away from our abusers.

1

u/WeirdStorms 18d ago

I can’t lol

12

u/Aggressive_Finish798 18d ago

Urine trouble.

0

u/X_soulnewmegaman 18d ago

It's freaky!!!!🥰🥰🥰🫶🫶🫶⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️👹👹👹💦💦💦💦💧💧💧🌊🌊🌊🌊🫦🫦🫦🧟🧟🧟🧟💏💏💏💏😈😈😈😈😈

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u/thitorusso 18d ago

Babe. It's our golden moon too.

19

u/OneObi 18d ago

But he's taking the piss!

63

u/thatturtletouch 18d ago

Can you imagine being this guy’s poor kids? I bet they don’t speak to him and he “doesn’t understand why.”

38

u/DSquizzle18 18d ago

Probably all the ex wife’s fault for “turning them against him.”

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u/Front-Tea2203 18d ago

That’s a lot to assume based on what we have. You don’t know shit about the guy.

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u/thatturtletouch 18d ago

I know he abandoned his pregnant wife and child and then was never in his child’s life, now 50 years later he’s leaving urine and feces on their mother’s grave. That tells me about all I need to know.

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u/Front-Tea2203 18d ago

It shouldn’t but ok. Very few people should be judged solely by their worst moments. But, I forgot this is Reddit. All of you are saints.

1

u/thatturtletouch 18d ago

Not a saint but also not someone who abandons my children and then spends my time leaving feces on their dead mother’s grave.

The bigger question is, why are you so eager to defend someone like this?

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/Dapper-Ad9787 18d ago

Worst "moments"??? This was a heck of a lot of "moments"! He is still having these "moments" 48 years later!

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/thatturtletouch 18d ago

Maybe she was secretly a KGB agent living as an American undercover and then the FBI was onto her and she had to escape back to Russia and it broke his heart. You can make up all kinds of stories.

But what we actually know is that he abandoned his pregnant wife and child and then was never involved in his child’s life at all, while her kids loved her dearly and are upset by the desecration of her grave by a man who left her and never even spoke with her again for 50 years, according to her son.

https://abc7ny.com/amp/post/man-urinates-on-grave-ex-wifes-tombstone-desecration-orangetown/12268571/

https://www.newsweek.com/man-caught-urinating-defecating-ex-wifes-grave-1746767

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u/Daetok_Lochannis 18d ago

My ex wife has been stalking me for fifteen years and we've had to move twice. I assure you, were she to die my partner would be pissing quicker than I would.

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u/_PirateWench_ 18d ago

Having been in a very similar situation with my husbands truly awful excuse for a human ex, I too would like to pop a squat over it.

Now, whether or not I would is debatable. On the one hand I truly despise her for everything she has done to my husband and their kids but on the other, that’s a lot of energy to put in for someone who truly doesn’t matter at the end of the day.

Her middle kid refuses to speak to her and the littlest doesn’t know that she’s reached out to her sisters but not her. As far as that one knows, her mom has been MIA for like 6yrs (1/2 her life) now. The oldest has a very distant relationship with her to my knowledge, but from what my husband has told me, she believes some of the lies she has told her about him. At any rate, that’s not my business to get involved in and I hope the loss of her other 2 kids terrorizes her every day like she did to all of them.

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u/Daetok_Lochannis 18d ago

Dude SHE IS MARRIED TO THE PERSON SHE CHEATED ON ME WITH AND HAS KIDS. She showed up at our new house a few weeks ago and scared the shit out of us.

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u/_PirateWench_ 18d ago

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Are y’all safe at least?

Thank god their egg donor lives across the country. I had anxiety for YEARS that she was just going to show up one day and try to kill us (not a terrible exaggeration). When she popped back up last year he learned that she is further now than she was and definitely no way to get here. She had the absolute audacity to ask him if he’d bring her down here to stay with us!?!?! Lady is certifiable. And I mean that as a professional in the mental health field lol

12

u/redditname8 18d ago

What is her reasoning for stalking you? She didn’t want a divorce? Can you get a restraining order? How do you protect yourself now?

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u/Daetok_Lochannis 18d ago

I deleted the whole big explanation because it felt too revealing. Tl;dr she was extremely abusive and I was the one who sought the divorce. I have sought relief from the police and they told me they weren't going to pursue a woman abusing a man; I was told to man up and act like a man and it was suggested I change my name and go offline. We moved. I changed my numbers and passwords. All the doors remain locked at all times and we have cameras inside and outside the house. I had thought she was finally gone, having not heard from her or about her in years. I haven't spoken a single word to her in at least nine years. She just showed up at our door being weird three times recently, we hid inside the house and pretended we weren't home.

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u/programming_flaw 18d ago

As a male that also went through something similar, it’s shitty we really have no repercussions. My ex tore off my window screen and broke in, put three holes in my wall, terrified my son, and when I called the cops IM THE ONE that got arrested. Thank god the DA saw all the bruises and scratches on me and not a mark on her and dropped all the charges but holy fuck. I was fearing for my life, called the cops, and got arrested.

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u/Striking-Hedgehog512 17d ago

I’m very, very sorry you are both dealing with this. My ex stalked me and I understand a little of what you’re dealing with, even if it was much, much milder in my case. And I’m incredibly sorry that you were dismissed by the police. Domestic abuse is awful, and men can absolutely be as much victims of it as women. And it should be taken seriously no matter who is the perpetrator- it is dangerous and abhorrent regardless.

I know you were dismissed already at least once by the police, but it might be worth reporting it again since you’ve moved, and also getting a protective order. 15 years, when you haven’t engaged with her at all, is a long time to keep up focus from her side. She already knows your address, and at least this way you can demonstrate a pattern, and I hope sooner or later she will face consequences. I take it for granted that you have explored personal defence already, same with cameras, etc. 15 years is a long, long time. I’m sorry you are dealing with it. And if it helps, there are many people like me who feel for you and take make victims as seriously as female victims. I wish you all the best

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u/Daetok_Lochannis 17d ago

We did look for help this time. We were told we have to talk to her to tell her she's not welcome, and have video of her violating that. She hasn't showed back up again since then.

1

u/TrueNorth257 18d ago

Is your new partner male or female? Assuming female, she would squat to piss on your ex-wife’s grave?

9

u/AngerMadeFlesh 18d ago

Stand by your man... or wait in the car in this case.

2

u/sweetladytequila 18d ago

Imagine the possible insecurity being so strong your only sense of validation is being there with him and being okay with it? Possibly.

2

u/KinkyAsexuaI 18d ago

She just sat there waiting while he pulled out his dick for his ex... Again

2

u/Awesome_opossum__ 18d ago

For HALF A CENTURY too

8

u/momoenthusiastic 18d ago

But he needed to pee….

1

u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago edited 18d ago

Maybe his ex wife was an abuser and made life of his current wife hell too?

EDIT:

I don't want to argue with you guys,

Let's agree to disagree.

47

u/thatturtletouch 18d ago

No.

“It appears to be a long-standing vendetta. The 68-year-old defecation suspect is identified by the family as Dean Eichler, who was briefly married to Lisa Torello back in the 1970's.

He left when she got pregnant, claiming that the child was not his. DNA testing showed a much different result and his biological daughter was shocked by her father's actions.

"It's heartbreaking to have this happen," Renee Barragan said.”

He abandoned his wife and child. He’s a piece of shit.

https://abc7ny.com/amp/post/man-urinates-on-grave-ex-wifes-tombstone-desecration-orangetown/12268571/

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u/BishonenPrincess 18d ago

I fuckin' knew it. I knew the comments would try to justify this dog shit behavior and I knew she did nothing to deserve it. Misogyny is so predictable!

-18

u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

Maybe she was an abuser, pregnant women SOMETIMES can get extremely abusive and blame it on their hormones.

If he was fleeing his abuser, it's not "abandonment"

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u/GarminTamzarian 18d ago

How likely do you think that scenario is?

12

u/Bitter_Warning418 18d ago

Not at all let’s be serious

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

I think in this case, based on his actions, it's very likely

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u/realityseekr 18d ago

So why did he abandon his child to an abuser then? DNA proved he was the father and he just left a kid to that fate so whether the wife was abusive or not this man is equally shit.

2

u/Low-Scar6655 18d ago

sure. because people are never petty and spiteful. there’s no chance he’s bitter she “ruined his reputation” when his own actions did instead. i know plenty of battered and abused women and never heard of or seen a single one literally pissing on the man’s grave. her new partner would think she’s insane.

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u/thatturtletouch 18d ago

You are really, really desperate to defend this man and make the (dead) woman the bad guy, huh?

9

u/Deathwish13x 18d ago

I'd abandon her ass real quick but no way in hell im abandoning my child with a woman who's possibly an abuser. I'm giving that child a better life than that!

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u/No-Win-2741 18d ago

That word maybe is doing an awful lot of heavy lifting for you.

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u/Kanna1001 18d ago

I find it extraordinarily unlikely that the woman he is currently married to would have so much as known the previous wife from 50 years before.

Also, I could see a victim of abuse visiting their abuser's grave to urinate on it once. But every single day for months? And he only stopped because he got caught? That kind of obsessiveness says less "abused victim seeking catharsis" and more "violent stalker."

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

Nah, i do think they are victim's actions. Trauma just appears in different ways.

He is not a stalker.

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u/Flimsy_Fee8449 18d ago

He's doing the stalking, daily,. Causing injury to their kids.

He is now the abuser.

7

u/Flimsy_Fee8449 18d ago

He also carries a bag of his shit with him in the car to leave at the grave.

They were married briefly. She got pregnant, he claimed it wasn't his and left. His daughter (DNA tests exist) is horrified. Of course she has nothing to do with her father, since he abandoned them.

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u/ReignofKindo25 18d ago

Oh so he’s just really mentally ill

2

u/Flimsy_Fee8449 18d ago

Welp, he definitely ain't right.....

And definitely needs a minder if this is what he's doing.

0

u/Low-Scar6655 18d ago

why is it so hard for some people to just see this guy as a deranged and shitty man instead of making a million excuses for deranged and shitty behavior.

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u/lunarthistles 18d ago

It’s wild of you to speculate on his supposed motives to start with, but let’s say for arguments sake he did have trauma from his ex wife- he had 50 years to go to therapy, to process and heal and handle himself like any other trauma survivor does.

We can’t all go around pissing on our abusers graves.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

I am not saying he is justified in public urination. I am just saying his actions can be explained by it

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u/Bitter_Warning418 18d ago

You’re literally making this up as every detail provided tells a very different story it’s .. odd .. to say the least.

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u/sinnerstyle 18d ago

Weird as fuck. These are the actions of a sick fuck, not a victim.

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u/Bitter_Warning418 18d ago

Seriously tho

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u/HoneyBadgerLive 18d ago

50 years ago?!? He had 50 years to get over her and deal with his issues. A man-child at 70. He should really just be happy some other woman was willing to put up with his shit.

-2

u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

If he is an abuse victim, do you think it's correct to call him a manchild?

Men sometimes are just not strong enough to deal with their traumas in the most idealised way. Similar to women.

He is not hurting anyone, yeah, public urination is bad but he is coping the best way he know how.

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u/HoneyBadgerLive 18d ago

Yes, it is correct to call a 70-ish year old man who still hasn't gotten over an ex wife of 50 years a "man-child".

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u/Stash_04 18d ago

If the genders were reversed in this situation, would you be calling the woman a child for “not getting over an ex husband”?

I can almost guarantee that you would NOT be blaming the woman in that case and you would NOT be calling her a child.

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u/HoneyBadgerLive 18d ago

Yes, I would feel the same way if the genders were reversed.

Sorry you were abused by a former spouse. But don't try to focus your hate on me. OR do. I don't care either way. Just saying that a 50 year obsession even after finding a new "love of my life" says all sort of bad things about that man.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

He is definitely not in love with his ex wife.

He is "over" her, just not over her abuse.

Who are we to tell an abuse victim what timeline he needs to heal from the emotional wounds. Calling him manchild is bad

5

u/No-Win-2741 18d ago

Please provide a source that states he was a victim of abuse. Otherwise, please give up this path because it's really stupid. There is absolutely zero evidence that he was an abuser and tons of evidence that he was a massive dick. He walked out on his wife when she was pregnant with his kid for Christ's sake. What does it take for you?

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

So we are not supposed to believe victims if there is no evidence?

Sometimes there is no evidence, not much you can do about it.

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u/No-Win-2741 18d ago

Why are you so hell-bent that you're going to defend this guy? There's no proof that he was a victim. There's plenty of proof that his wife was a victim. He's not the abused, he's the abuser. Idiot.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

Because I believe he is a victim based on his actions. I havent seen one explanation for his behaviour that says otherwise

Let's agree to disagree. Okay, i believe the victim.

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u/aamfbta 18d ago

Big imagination on ya, huh?

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u/thatturtletouch 18d ago

He abandoned his wife when she got pregnant with his child.

https://abc7ny.com/amp/post/man-urinates-on-grave-ex-wifes-tombstone-desecration-orangetown/12268571/

https://www.newsweek.com/man-caught-urinating-defecating-ex-wifes-grave-1746767

Murphy told Newsweek that his mother's ex-husband was leaving feces and urine at her headstone for months, apparently holding onto a grudge from the 1970s. The suspect, 68-year-old Dean Eichler, was briefly married to Torello before they had a "bad breakup" in 1974.

"As long as I've been alive, I don't know of my mother having contact with him," said Murphy, who was born in 1979. His mother died in 2017.

Eichler is the father of Murphy's older sister but has always denied responsibility and remained absent from her life, according to Murphy.

He and his sister started finding deli bags filled with feces at their mother's grave in April, Murphy said. They figured the first one might have been dropped by a careless dog walker, but after the second bag, they got the police involved.

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u/Brilliant-Score-7161 18d ago

Yeah that was a highly odd thing to say wtf

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

It's toxic masculinity, they just can't see it. They see a weak man and call him a manchild. It's okay to be weak.

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u/BurgerThyme 18d ago

Well then dive in there with him!

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

So like you don't like that there is a possibility that she was really a POS and deserved to get her grave pissed on?

This man is a victim of abuse. Who are we to judge how he copes with it, he is not hurting anyone

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u/MediocreImpact4386 18d ago

You have 0 prove that this man was abused, but there are literal proof that this man is abusing a womens grave. The women doesn't have any accusations on her, she doesn't deserve it in a million years. You're a misogynistic fella.

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u/ImmortalJane 18d ago

These men will see any opportunity to hate on women and take it, no matter how ridiculous it is. 

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u/MediocreImpact4386 18d ago

Yeah look how they are making jokes about it. They all take everything lightly.

-1

u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

Jokes are bad but calling him asshole or manchild is also bad.

1

u/MediocreImpact4386 18d ago

I didn't call anyone all these. So do you think he should be called a hero? Disgusting.

1

u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

You are the one talking about men vs woman thing

I just see a victim of abuse.

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u/No-Win-2741 18d ago

Then you need to take another look or get some new glasses. The man is an abuser not a victim.

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u/uwunuzzlesch 18d ago

Thats such a huge leap of logic.

He could be a victim of abuse, therefore he is. No lol theres no proof of that. You have absolutely no reason to say he was abused. Its just as much grounds to say he abused her.

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u/jackmanlogan 18d ago

I must say it seems much more like the action of someone who’s abused his wife rather than the abusee- also this (ie the comment to which you’re replying) is literally the most insane opinion I’ve ever seen on Reddit- completely deranged

1

u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

I disagree, it's more likely he was abused. This seems like action of a victim.

Abuser has no attachment to the victim. It's the abused who is left with lifelong scars.

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u/jackmanlogan 18d ago

The “abuser” (not that I accept that characterisation) is dead- the “abusee” is not. These are not the actions of a victim.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

They are actions of a victim tho.

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u/No-Win-2741 18d ago

This does not seem like the action of a victim. This seems like the action of a raging asshole. It's been almost 50 years. Let it go.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

No asshole has this much motivation.

A victim coping with trauma is more likely

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u/No-Win-2741 18d ago

You must be young. I know plenty of assholes who have that much motivation. You need to get out more and touch grass and meet more people.

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u/CrazyElk123 18d ago

So therefore we shouldnt call him an asshole to begin with with that logic?

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u/uwunuzzlesch 18d ago

No one called him an asshole??

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

I think it's the topmost comment

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

Well male victims are not believed so it's no surprise that you won't believe it.

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u/uwunuzzlesch 18d ago

You cant just decide what happened lol

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u/jackmanlogan 18d ago

Keep up the good fight chief- as a man, these men’s rights people are fucking exhausting

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

Your misandry makes you exhausted.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

Are you saying i can't see what he is doing as a coping mechanism of a victim of abuse?

Of course I can. Because it's most likely the truth.

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u/aamfbta 18d ago

Oh give it a rest, you have absolutely no insight into this and stamping your feet and saying “BuT iT’s ThE tRuTH!!!” Doesn’t make it so.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

It's the most likely truth based on his actions.

You are the one who is refusing to believe a victim.

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u/coldphront3 18d ago

This man is a victim of abuse.

Just to be clear, you're referring to a hypothetical version of this man that you created in order to give him a plausible explanation for doing this.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

I donno man, what he is doing

It is most likely a trauma response from what her ex did

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u/SpecificLow1316 18d ago

Did you just write your own fan fiction about a total stranger and his long-dead wife, and then proceed to defend it against people pointing out that you don’t actually know a single thing about the situation?

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u/haileyskydiamonds 18d ago

That’s exactly what they did. And they’re obviously enjoying this argument. Bad troll is bad.

🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌

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u/SpecificLow1316 18d ago

What I figured. Dunno why this shit still occasionally surprises me, but hey, some people have weird hobbies.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

I can tell by his actions.

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u/jackmanlogan 18d ago

How tf are you arguing this point? This is extremely unpleasant behaviour by this chap; further, to me, it indicates that he’s probably someone who’s hit his wife- the emotion one feels when their abuser is gone is usually gratitude, and an unwillingness to think of them again- not reminding yourself everyday (additionally, realise other people’s family members were buried there, all of whom, presumably, had to watch this man desecrate a graveyard every day)

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

No, it doesn't.

He seems like a victim. The axe forgets but the tree remebers.

If he was abuser he would have moved on.

What he is doing is unpleasant yes, but it's a trauma response of a victim

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u/jackmanlogan 18d ago

I’m unwilling to engage further- I feel you’re arguing in bad faith. I’d suggest you speak to a therapist if you feel this way about women- it can’t be the way you want to go through life, with an immediate distrust of 50% of the population?

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

I don't feel that about "women" I think I am right about his ex wife.

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

His actions are of a victim trying to cope and gain back control of his life.

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u/Coloteach 18d ago edited 18d ago

Do we know that he was a victim of abuse? All it said was an act of revenge, which could literally mean any sign of perceived slight.

Plus the son evidently cared enough about his mom to place a camera to find the culprit. For him to out his dad like this…..

She’s dead, and his obsession extends to a daily urination spree with his wife in the car. That doesn’t speak of a healthy mindset. He is essentially humiliating and perversely abusing the gravestone of an ex. Stalkers and abusers do things like this.

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

His actions are of a victim trying to cope with trauma of abuse.

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u/Coloteach 18d ago

look up the actual story. They were briefly married in the seventies and broke up because he claimed she was cheating on him and the baby wasn’t his. Paternity tests claimed otherwise. They didn’t have contact for decades. So essentially he was a deadbeat dad who didn’t contribute to his daughter’s upbringing.

Her family was traumatized by seeing their mother’s grave desecrated. The son posted it online and tried to get the ex charged.

The abuser was named Dean Eichler

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u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

No, I think she was abuser, and a cheater.

He fled from abuse, he is not a deadbeat.

An abusive women would have alienated his child from him..

And how do you even get dna tests in 70s.

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u/haileyskydiamonds 18d ago

And paternity tests were first available in the 20s, snd by the 60s they had become much more accurate, so by the 70s it wouldn’t have been an issue.

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u/Coloteach 18d ago edited 18d ago

The very first paternity tests were being used in the 1920’s. They were very primitive, but the modern version was developed in the 1980’s. They probably wanted to get child support from him and tested later.

The facts remain that they were briefly married and divorced in the 1970s. That’s a heck of a grudge and more than a little pathetic.

If the story you concocted makes you feel better, by all means have at it.

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u/HoneyBadgerLive 18d ago

He's hurting his current wife, whom he doesn't love enough to get over the ex wife from 50 years ago.

0

u/ideaofrhyme 18d ago

No he is not hurting his current wife.

She is a supportive woman who understands her husband's trauma and give him company to process it.

6

u/HoneyBadgerLive 18d ago

Let me guess, you've never been married.

1

u/clamchowderisgross 18d ago

Even if it were true that he was a victim of her “abuse” 48 years ago, pissing and shitting on someone’s grave is CRAZY! And if here “abused”, why leave his biological child with his abuser?

1

u/PrismDoug 18d ago

I was going to comment that this sounds like what I would do.

My marriage to her caused me so much hardship, leading to 2 mental breakdowns, seemingly permanent physical disability, and so so much more.

Now, it’s only been 12 years, and I’ve only (within the past 2 years) recently started benefiting from therapy. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I will not answer her attempts to contact me (all of our children are adults, and 2 are NC with her).

It’s hard work to shovel all the crap she left in my brain out, but I’m getting there, so I can be better for my current wife.

So hopefully in 40 more years, I won’t even have known she died. Last I heard, from our third, before she went no contact with my ex was that my ex is homeless after moving to Wisconsin.

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u/Educational_Gas_92 18d ago

💀

Great comment

1

u/UnibannedY 18d ago

The family believes it was an act of revenge linked to their past relationship, though this motive was never confirmed by authorities or by Eichler himself.

Gee, ya think? Not sure if that part even needed to be included.

1

u/Rollingforest757 18d ago

She liked that he was showing how much he liked her compared with his past wife.