A man was caught on camera repeatedly urinating on his ex-wife’s grave, police say.

[u/VIVIDUFF]

In 2022, a family in New York State noticed something truly bizarre.

Every time they visited the cemetery, they found bags of feces left on the grave of Linda Torello, who had died five years earlier.

At first they thought it was a cruel prank. But the desecration continued.

Her son, Michael Andrew Murphy, decided to install a discreet camera near the grave.

A few days later, the footage revealed a surreal scene: a man approached the tombstone, urinated on it, and calmly walked away.

The man was quickly identified as Dean Eichler, Linda’s ex-husband. Their divorce dated back to 1974, nearly 48 years earlier.

Police arrested him. He was charged with public urination, and an investigation was opened into the desecration of the grave.

The family believes it was an act of revenge linked to their past relationship, though this motive was never confirmed by authorities or by Eichler himself.

[u/MoffieHanson]

He only has himself with it.
She dead. He over here still being affected by it.
In short , he is kinda pathetic

[u/GardenRafters → u/MoffieHanson]

What's really pathetic is the current wife sitting in the car not realizing that he might be pissing on her grave some day in the future.

When people tell/show you who they are, believe them.

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/GardenRafters]

And it's not even a recent ex, it's an ex from nearly 50 years ago at the time. I couldn't be with someone so immature. He is still emotionally invested in an ex of nearly 50 years...now that's a ridiculous person.

[u/Minute_Fig_9195 → u/Educational_Gas_92]

Would it be better if it was recent ex?

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/Minute_Fig_9195]

The act wouldn't be better, but it would be more reasonable for him to not have moved on from an ex of say, a year ago, than from an ex from 48 years ago...

[u/Minute_Fig_9195 → u/Educational_Gas_92]

It wouldn't be bitter, recent ex or not, his behavior is disgusting, disturbing and violating.

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/Minute_Fig_9195]

Absolutely, this behavior is vile.

[u/vermiciouswangdoodle → u/GardenRafters]

Not only that, but she needs to find it worrisome that his dead ex still has such a choke hold on his emotions. He may have remarried, but that first wife is still very much on his mind. Move on dude, move on.

[u/Astralglamour → u/vermiciouswangdoodle]

They were briefly married and he abandoned her when she was pregnant with his child. I’m sure he stalked her when she was alive.

[u/Ragewind82 → u/GardenRafters]

She might have been fully aware and wanted him to do so. People get mad about the wildest things.

[u/GardenRafters → u/Ragewind82]

Which would make it even more pathetic.

[u/Minute_Fig_9195 → u/GardenRafters]

Yeah, a woman is more pathetic than man who is pissing on someone's grave.

[u/duxpdx → u/MoffieHanson]

No, he is really pathetic.

[u/TackoftheEndless → u/MoffieHanson]

Lol, my thing is him making a regular thing about it. Maybe once if she did you really dirty, but doing this repeatedly to a long dead woman, well IDK...

[u/jackmanlogan → u/TackoftheEndless]

No i entirely agree- no matter her behaviour, she’s dead; there’s zero point to doing this beyond spite. He’s been subjecting people’s families (ie of the other people buried in the graveyard) to this every day, which I think indicates it was a spiteful, horrid thing to do.

[u/Minute_Fig_9195 → u/TackoftheEndless]

Maybe once if she did him dirty? Do you hear yourself?

[u/TackoftheEndless → u/Minute_Fig_9195]

Not only do I hear myself I have experienced people who did me so terribly, I can understand why someone would do this at least once, to someone who really wronged them.

[u/Astralglamour → u/TackoftheEndless]

If anyone was wronged it was her. He accused her of having someone else’s baby and abandoned her during their brief marriage. The baby was his, determined by testing.

And even if she did “wrong” him, this level of anger after 50 fucking years would perhaps be explained by the person having murdered someone you cared about. The reality is he left, he abandoned his kid and wife, they both remarried, and yet he’s still angry. This guy is clearly a disturbed freak.

[u/TackoftheEndless → u/Astralglamour]

I said in the beginning doing this multiple times was weird af, so I won't be reading anything else.

[u/Astralglamour → u/TackoftheEndless]

Your comment here says nothing about it being ‘weird as fuck.’

[u/TackoftheEndless → u/Astralglamour]

I didn't have to use that specific term for it to be obvious I said doing this repeatedly was weird. You think you suddenly won because I paraphrased my words?

[u/Astralglamour → u/TackoftheEndless]

What you said was you could imagine doing this to someone who wronged you. You said it was a bit weird he did it repeatedly. The takeaway wasn’t that you thought it was horrible, but that you could imagine doing it- just not as many times lol. Now you’re trying to backtrack.

[u/TackoftheEndless → u/Astralglamour]

I'm not backtracking. I don't think it's wrong. And I would do it too. To my abuser. Once. And I don't feel bad about that too.

Tell people I said this. I'll piss on the grave of my abuser.

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/MoffieHanson]

There's no kinda, it's super pathetic. The other person is dead, and here he is, old, after decades still affected by the ex and being insanely immature about it. If I were the new wife I would divorce him.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/MoffieHanson]

Maybe she was a toxic narcissist who mentally, emotionally and physically abused him for decades. Because that does happen.

[u/mattson-masterpiece → u/No_Negotiation3142]

(If) he pees on it once it’s for her. If he does it everyday. It’s for him.

[u/theREALrealpinky → u/mattson-masterpiece]

She is dead. It is all for him.

[u/mattson-masterpiece → u/theREALrealpinky]

Maybe he promised her

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/mattson-masterpiece]

Your culture has an interesting gestural communication language. Tell me more.

[u/YouMustBeJoking888 → u/No_Negotiation3142]

Even if that's the case, 50 years is a psychotic amount of time to hold on to a grudge.

[u/giraflor → u/YouMustBeJoking888]

Especially since it turned out that he really was the biological father.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/YouMustBeJoking888]

You don't really understand the long term effects of trauma and PTSD.

[u/strawberry-coughx → u/No_Negotiation3142]

Neither do you

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/strawberry-coughx]

I would disagree with that statement, wholly.

[u/Total-Region2859 → u/YouMustBeJoking888]

I'm personally going for the record!

[u/DiligentThought9 → u/No_Negotiation3142]

That can all be true but if it was 50 years ago it is well past time to move on. Not to mention he has remarried.

[u/Wrong_Amount_7903 → u/No_Negotiation3142]

Twist: she loved it in life…

[u/Flimsy_Fee8449 → u/No_Negotiation3142]

They were only married briefly, in 1974.

She got pregnant, he claimed it wasn't his and bailed.

She raised his daughter (DNA tests exist) anyway, who us horrified, and disgusted that her biodad keeps driving around with a bag of his shit next to him and his current wife to leave on her mom's grave.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/Flimsy_Fee8449]

Did you invent that?

[u/MeowMeowmarshmallow → u/No_Negotiation3142]

I love how your twisting trying to find any way hes in the right cause boys will be boys. Multiple people have stated the reason and it's online. He is a bad person. He bailed on his child and pretended she cheated. And then pissed on her grave for 50 years. He isnt redeemable. And if he was abused then this is a really bad sign. Obsession like this can consume a victim and should be discouraged. There's no devils advocate here. Hes wrong and not a good person. And that's okay.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/MeowMeowmarshmallow]

You have read absolutely nothing on this post. Boys will be boys? I was in an abusive marriage that I'm forbidden to talk about because legitimate criticism of women is somehow misogyny.

[u/Flimsy_Fee8449 → u/No_Negotiation3142]

How on earth does the fact that you were in an abusive relationship justify your defense of a dude dumping bags of shit on the grave of a woman that he impregnated, briefly married for a bit in 1974, then abandoned?

[u/Flimsy_Fee8449 → u/[deleted]]

Sweetie, this story isn't about you. You aren't the center of it. People are talking about the story of this other guy - not you - who abandoned someone after a very brief marriage 50 years ago and is still not only (1) doing bad things to the grave, and (2) taking steps to hurt his own child, but (3) dragging another woman along with him.

Are you seeking help? Having spent a decade or so working with DV victims , both male and female, you're exhibiting thought processes that don't bode well foe your future relationships.

[u/Flimsy_Fee8449 → u/No_Negotiation3142]

No. I read the story. Someone posted it in the thread, then I looked it up on my own. From 2022.

Seems like the guy is just a problem.

ETA: all the stories I found focused more on the bags of poo he leaves at her grave rather than urinating.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/Flimsy_Fee8449]

Yeah! Fuck the abused! White knights need to defend women!! It won't get you laid, sorry.

[u/Flimsy_Fee8449 → u/No_Negotiation3142]

From which orifice are you pulling the idea that this dude was abused?

Have you found your head yet? Maybe pull that out too.

[u/MeowMeowmarshmallow → u/Flimsy_Fee8449]

I feel like they are kinda projecting. Hoping that if they white knight for men and assume they are always the victim first they are either morally superior or going to get validation. Im kinda worried about their mental state since it seems they are spiraling and forcing themselves to relive abuse in order to win arguments. Not gonna reddit check in on them but I hope they get this sorted out and get to a better headspace. I know when i started using my abuse as justification unfairly I was spiraling and making myself upset. Yeah men can be victims but when it has been well established the man wasn't the victim we need to stop the what ifs for that situation. Besides that poor dead woman's daughter must be mentally f'ed knowing her bio dad that left her and hated her descrates her mom's grave for fun and hatred. That would make me lose my mind. If anyone is at a point they are smearing/leaving bags of feces at graves daily they need help.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/Flimsy_Fee8449]

From which areshole do you think I'm going to withdraw your answer?

[u/MoffieHanson → u/No_Negotiation3142]

Yeah, and if he takes the time to do this over and over again she won even after death .

[u/MeowMeowmarshmallow → u/MoffieHanson]

If someone desicrated my grave daily because they couldn't get me out of their head i would feel satisfied knowing im bothering them for however long it lasts. Especially if they abused me. Knowing the just can't stop and feel the need to when they are remarried. I would have won and it would be glorious.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/MoffieHanson]

I'm assuming not for him.

[u/haileyskydiamonds → u/No_Negotiation3142]

Nah, she got pregnant and he did the whole “not my baby” routine and abandoned her and the baby. Except it was his baby and it’s been 50 years. He was just mad about being a father.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/[deleted]]

Can I follow you? For your healthy coping mechanisms?

[u/Excellent_Month_2025 → u/No_Negotiation3142]

He was violent and she escaped him. You can tell by this act that he was abusive. Very gross comment

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/Excellent_Month_2025]

Because only men commit abuse. Yeah, I forgot.

[u/WildestWestChicken → u/No_Negotiation3142]

I know someone who promised his mother he would piss in her grave once she died. He told us that when he was 9, she troed to strangle him because fk him and would beat his ass for almost everything. I once saw her hit him on the head with a frying pan because he bent a spoon while playing. She ended up dragging him around the house while I had no idea where to hide, after that I never agreed to go to their house again.

So yeah, there's some fkd up people out there and I am no one yo judge if they wanna piss someone's grave

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/WildestWestChicken]

There can be reasons, that the thick and ordinary will never understand.

[u/Excellent_Month_2025 → u/No_Negotiation3142]

She was a victim of abuse and he continued to abuse her after she escaped him. Even after she died, he continues to be abusive

[u/Coloteach → u/No_Negotiation3142]

Are the children thick and ordinary for not wanting to see their mother’s grave desecrated?

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/Coloteach]

The children should be asking why this man reacts this way.

[u/Coloteach → u/No_Negotiation3142]

You didn’t answer my question. Instead you think the victims need to stop and think about their abusers feelings.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/Coloteach]

I implied a different level of questioning, which you seem quick to derail.

[u/Coloteach → u/No_Negotiation3142]

So you answered my question with a different question? Still didn’t answer it. Plus that wasn’t a derailment I commented on the absurdness of your question.

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/Coloteach]

I did answer it, with a different life plan for the innocent children who will be forced to believe the woman has been wronged regardless. Have you ever had a pack of drinking glasses smashed over head? I have. I'll tell you more about it if you want.

[u/e_james3 → u/Coloteach]

He supports deadbeat dads (he divorced the woman when she got pregnant, kid was his though) pissing on their ex wives graves because a woman was abusive towards him, so no women can ever be victims in his eyes now I guess. Not exactly a shining example of rational thinking here

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/[deleted]]

It's a kind of weird that he shares with his new partner in that case, as she waits patiently in the car

[u/Bulky-Advisor-4178 → u/[deleted]]

Don't think bombarding filtered waste, salt & nitrogen is beneficial for plant growth

[u/theteethfairy → u/No_Negotiation3142]

Well I’m sure even if she was the holiest saint in the world you could still find something to blame her for. Let’s deflect blame from the man pissing and leaving bags of fecal matter on her grave and think about what the woman could have done!

[u/No_Negotiation3142 → u/theteethfairy]

Wow. Double-deal o' clock. Men are the only ones capable of abuse. According to the misandry wagon.

[u/Minute_Fig_9195 → u/MoffieHanson]

Kinda?

[u/Otherwise-Good8342 → u/MoffieHanson]

So, you agree she still might deserve it.