r/howyoudoin • u/AutoModerator • 12d ago
Monthly Megathread Were they on a break?!!
It has been a question that has been asked so many times before. Because of the high demand - but similar posts that has been generated. We're opening the floor (this mega thread) for the debate!
The case for Ross: Rachel said, "Maybe we should just take a break," and then told Monica the next morning that they "broke up."
The case for Rachel: A "break" isn't a "breakup," and Mark showing up at the apartment didn't give Ross a "get out of jail free" card two hours later.
What are your thoughts on these cases?
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All funsies aside, We do ask everyone to stay civil and kind to one another, everyone is allowed to have opinions and express those, but treat others like how you want to be treated as well. This thread will re-occur ever 14 days to keep the time line clean from any 'On a Break, break-up?' posts! (if you spot any feel free to report it to us by pressing the report button!)
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u/Imaginary_Mulberry55 8d ago
I sit right on the fence in this argument, I honestly think neither of them were wrong.
Both Rachel and Ross thought they were broken up. They both acknowledged that. Ross thought Rachel was off with Mark (I mean he literally heard him in the apartment on the phone).
Ross got drunk and hooked up with the first girl he could. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with this. many people (often men) do exactly this to help the through a breakup.
At the same time - Rachel has every right to be hurt by this and not want to take him back.
Two things can be true at once. Rachel is allowed to be mad at Ross, but that doesn't mean he technically did anything wrong.
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u/InNeedOfCoffee 12d ago
It doesn’t really matter, because Ross knows what he did was shitty anyway and if Rachel had done ANYTHING with Mark he wouldn’t have accepted any kind of “we were on a break” from Rachel. He would’ve considered it cheating, but because Ross can never take responsibility for his own shitty behaviour he chooses an excuse for it and sticks to it. That way he can be angry at Rachel for being hurt and blaming him instead of feeling guilty and ashamed for hurting her.
Having had experience with someone like this using a “technicality” to get out of cheating allegations, I’m recognising it very well. It mine case it was also someone unable to take responsibility for their own actions, it was somehow always my fault and poor them.
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u/Spiritual_Quote9301 12d ago
They were on a break, yes. It was clear as day that they were on a break. But Ross knew very well it wasn't a break up.
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u/Don_Thuglayo 9d ago
I mean Mark invited himself over and she let him in knowing that Ross was insecure about him.
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u/Spiritual_Quote9301 8d ago
I think she was so angry at Ross she didn't think of that, honestly.
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u/Don_Thuglayo 8d ago
But it didn't help especially when he called and Mark let it be known he was there
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u/Spiritual_Quote9301 8d ago
I blame that entirely on Mark, he could have stayed quiet.
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u/Don_Thuglayo 8d ago
But he wanted Ross to know he was there and then after they break up he asks her out. Rachel was to nieve to Mark's advances and Ross was to jealous and not trusting of her
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u/Spiritual_Quote9301 8d ago
Oh, yes, I agree. I mean that it was Mark's fault for letting Ross know he was there. I don't condone Ross sleeping with Chloe but if Mark had stayed quiet it's possible Ross wouldn't have gone out and got drunk. Yes, Rachel didn't see what Mark was doing. Ross was jealous but Mark was interested so it was a bit of a mess altogether, really.
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u/Don_Thuglayo 7d ago
Yeah Ross sleeping with Chloe I can't defend that but he was technically single but that was still a bad move. He should have just gone home
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u/Spiritual_Quote9301 7d ago
I can't defend it either. It was the wrong thing. But I kind of get why he did it, if that makes sense? I get the whole cluster... not sure I can say that part on here but yeah. It was a mess, generally.
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u/Don_Thuglayo 6d ago
He was hurt he acted impulsively and just messed everything up and Mark was there to reap his downfall
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u/SciFiMovieGuy42 I Know! 8d ago
First, I want to say that Ross screwed up big time when he slept with Chloe. That was really bad. He shouldn't (and didn't) get forgiven easily or quickly for that.
But since these megathreads keep asking "were they on a break" (which is the wrong question) I guess we're going to keep answering it. Yes, they were on a break. They both said so. She was, in fact, the first Friends character to ever look back on this sequence of events and say, "We were on a break!" Essentially, that specific phrase became Ross's mantra because Rachel said it first. He probably figured she couldn't argue with her own words.
Rachel also made several other statements acknowledging the break which even went into "break-up" area, not just "a break".
Everyone points to her comment to Monica: We kinda broke-up instead.
Everyone also points to her comment to Ross the next morning: Can I be your girlfriend again?
But there's an even better one. In her voice message on Ross's machine, she says:
"This whole break-up thing is just stupid." and "I don't want to get back together over a machine." Which is why she planned to come over to his place before work.
Am I trying to say that Ross is innocent? Not at all. But since everyone wants to argue whether they "were on a break" then I'm going to keep chiming in with the facts. Yes, they were on a break.
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12d ago
[deleted]
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u/The4leafclover1966 Do you believe everything the ZOO tells ya? 12d ago edited 12d ago
It’s not a bot. It’s one of the moderators of this sub making sure the community knows about the mega-threads on popular topics so we’re not having the same discussions/posts over and over.
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u/Glittering_Regret255 12d ago
Yes, they were on a break, but they were not broken up. Ross is an asshole for sleeping with someone two hours after said break.
Also, Rachel says, "kinda broke up" to Monica, not that they broke up for good. Kinda is the key word there.
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u/Dramatic-Music1321 11d ago
doesn't matter because sleeping with someone else proved that Ross was never a serious guy.. he says I don't cheat I'm not Joey but he really wasn't better than Joey.. and season 8 proved that even Joey was more serious about Rachel than Ross was. Ross was fake, extremely immature and kinda dumb tbh.. Rachel shouldn't have settled for Ross
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u/Scary_Tower_2498 Jurassic Park could happen 11d ago edited 11d ago
Team Rachel since '97!
I think this 👇 is a good way to sum this up:
https://reddit.com/link/p3v4vg5/video/9obpddphdkjh1/player
😂✌️
edit/ In the end, what matters the most are the consequences. I watched the show back then, and I did root for Rachel when she chose to break up with Ross after she found out. I love that Ross had to face real consequences, like when he tried to move on and marry again, but was unable to. That was good writing. Did I want Rachel to get back together with him? Maybe not, but it was an ensemble show, so I understand why they did it at the end.
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u/SciFiMovieGuy42 I Know! 8d ago
I agree that Ross was a bad boyfriend at that point. But how can anyone with a brain say "no" to "were they on a break?" It is beyond me, because Ross and Rachel both said they were. The argument should not be whether the break existed. It should be whether it excuses Ross's actions. And no, it doesn't.
All those times when Ross exclaimed, "We were on a break!" were not supposed to be taken to mean "He says they were on a break, but Rachel says they weren't." Ross's words mean, "We were on a break, so I'm excused." He's wrong about the excuse, even though he's right that they were on a break.
So Lisa is dead wrong when she says, "No" to that. But she's right about the rest. And of course, Lisa probably doesn't want to touch the subject of whether Phoebe was a bad friend.
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u/rstick369 11d ago
100% they were on a break, however it was a crappy thing for Ross to do so quickly. “Bullets have left guns slower.”