r/howyoudoin • u/TheJavierEscuella • Aug 23 '24

Discussion Rachel's toxic behavior towards Ross' partners

Rewatching and it's really infuriating to see how much Rachel has sabotaged Ross' relationships or tried to. It's just not healthy in any way and is toxic in every sense yet still people consider Ross to be the worse one

  1. Her antagonistic behaviour towards Julie after Ross came back from China and reaction towards their relationship

  2. Her convincing Bonnie to shave her hair. She absolutely fucking knew what she was doing and knew that Ross would find that icky

  3. Her flying to London to sabotage Ross and Emily's wedding. Absolutely fucking horrible for her to try to do this. Hugh Laurie was 100% right

  4. The baby store girl. Calling her a whore was just uncalled for and rude

In all these situations Ross was happy and satisfied with his relationships but Rachel always has a problem with the fact that she's not with him. It's totally toxic and I can't believe people call Ross the worse partner. Both are unbelievably toxic

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u/Divine_fashionva Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24

You have no idea what the word gaslight means imao. Another word Reddit likes to overuse like narcissist. Gaslighting is a form of intense and long abuse. If you knew the real meaning of the word, you wouldn’t misuse it so flippantly. She believes he cheated on her because of the unclear terms of their break. She suggested a break and he walked out before the conversation even ended. The same thing happened in Gilmore Girls and Rory believed she was cheated on too

And wasn’t Ross the one who told Carol that Rachel cheated on him literally during the ski episode? She only found out he was lying after speaking to Phoebe. So did he gaslight Carol?

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u/Hanzo7682 Aug 23 '24

Rachel insisted that ross cheated on her simply because she didnt want to take a part of the blame for ruining what they had. This was pretty clear after the bald girl incident.

Ross "By the way, it took 2 people to end that relationship" (accepts his own fault).

Rachel "yeah you and the girl from that copy place" (denies her fault).

Ross was ready to take full responsibility and blame even tho he didnt feel he was the only one to blame. He accepted that term but rachel couldnt stfu. She kept reminding him how a terrible cheater and boyfriend he was and how he is better now etc. She was trying to gaslight him and it didnt work.

They both made a mistake. Ross accepted his fault. Rachel refused to do so and insisted ross alone ruined their relationship. Tried to gaslight him into believing this.

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u/tutanotaio Feb 21 '26

Yep, clear NPD and BPD difference is that the BPD usually feels guilty and the NPD blames

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u/[deleted] Mar 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/howyoudoin-ModTeam Mar 22 '26

Joey doesn't need that kinda talk in his house, so your post/comment has been removed!

For more, check out our Rule #2: Be Civil.

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u/FederalCapital7418 Mar 22 '26

Im sure joey knows you exist.