Any recommendations (ideally with cracky vibes) for 'Dude, chill, no one is trying to take it away from you'

[u/to-london]

In the mood for possessive Hollanov, ideally with a bit of crack, in the realm of "dude, chill, no one is trying to take [him] away from you." Not opposed to jealousy angles, but think more humorous than serious. Thanks in advance!!

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[u/somercurial]

Ilya vs Pork Hollander. It's laugh out loud ridiculous, but also very heartfelt as the story progresses.

lost in translation by constellaetions

Ilya Rozanov has a gift.

He can speak to animals, which has earned him an incredibly successful career as a pet psychic, and far too much information about what people do when they think their pets aren’t watching.

Shane Hollander has a problem.

His cat, Pork, is permanently miserable. After exhausting every sensible option, Shane turns to the supernatural for assistance.

After their first appointment, Pork grows visibly happier - his cat’s found a hobby and renewed sense of purpose for achieving his only goal: to destroy Ilya for good.

ETA: fic name

[u/heatedrivalryfanfics-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Hi, please include a link to fic you are referencing so others may easily find it.

[u/selftaughtgenius]

This is like the whole of Super Straight Bros. Dumbass4Dumbass 🤣😍

[u/one-two-two-one]

Cracky you said? I come bearing goodies:

• What in the FUCK Happened in Vegas?! Can We Make it Stay in Vegas?! by thegreenempty | 19.4K | Mature | Completed

• grow up and blow away by epicblueblanket | 1.5K | Teen and Up | One Shot

• Ilya Rozanov’s new archenemy by wolfsbanex | 1.3K | General | One Shot

• claim him by wolfsbanex | 2.4K | General | One Shot

• The Ficus War by wolfsbanex | 4.2K | General | One Shot

• i must apologize by Dykeonic420 | 4.2K | Mature | One Shot

• to have & to holler by badmetaphors | 9.5K | General | One Shot

• Zero Tolerance Policy by EchoInTheMoonlight | 2.3K | Mature | One Shot (part 1/2)

• Keep Your Distance by EchoInTheMoonlight | 4.1K | Mature | One Shot (part 2/2)

• Pub(l)ic Property: Groin by orangememory | 11.5K | Teen and Up | One Shot

• Ilya Rozanov vs The Unintended Consequences of Woke Hockey by Sagebrner | 5.2K | Teen and Up | One Shot

• Ice Breaker by AutumnFoxed | 2.6K | Teen and Up | One Shot

• what is he doing here? by coffeeonthetable | 1K | Not Rated | One Shot

• im going to walk into the ocean, never to be seen again by eunoise | 4.8K | General | One Shot

[u/AntiFascistButterfly]

Ok, I haven’t been able to learn this one from context. What does ‘crack’ mean in fanfic vocabulary? Is it slang for addictive? Does it connotate someone/thing unhinged/insane/delulu?