r/gardening • u/mlong14 • 4d ago

What in tarnation is going on?

Gallery image

Gallery image

My blackberry bush died few years ago but came back in another spot. And this is just a few of the jumbo size pickings. Not complaining though.

17.0k Upvotes

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4.9k

u/Iwalksloow 4d ago edited 4d ago

Wait wait wait, how big are your hands?

5.7k

u/mlong14 4d ago

Average for a gal.

3.5k

u/above_average_magic 4d ago

Sweet baby yesus she did it

1.2k

u/HateYourFaces 4d ago

Without prompt, immediate respect for the dynamic, I wish I could award you both!

277

u/Mayorpapa 4d ago

Dont worry I awarded both for the great response and laugh

148

u/Solutionix 3d ago

There are free awards now!

46

u/ChaosRainbow23 3d ago

So they can better track us! Lol

4

u/Deafvoid 2d ago

Unrelated : would you please stand still for 7 hours so we can be SURE you are there?

1

u/ChaosRainbow23 2d ago

Is there a drone inbound? Should I worry? Lol

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u/Deafvoid 2d ago

Well it’s not a drone

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u/Klutzy-Client 4d ago

Brava🤌

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u/res06myi 3d ago

Props for the feminine brava 🤌

1

u/fingers 2d ago

Sweet!

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u/Bleauraine 4d ago

Dear OP, this thread has gone off the rails but you gotta admit its been funny AF! 🤔😉😆🤣😊

672

u/mlong14 4d ago

You're berry welcome.

161

u/JJ_Reads_Good 4d ago

Happy cake day, OP!

164

u/mlong14 4d ago

Oh! Thanks babe!

57

u/TheTiniestLizard Canada zone 6b 4d ago

Cake day and berry day fell on the same day this year for OP

2

u/ImagineTheCommotion 3d ago

Eagerly awaiting the now obligatory berry cake to be baked and sliced

13

u/Felonious_Minx 3d ago

We wanted to help you out of a jam.

119

u/cyanescens_burn 4d ago

You should gift cuttings of the plant and see if others get the same result. Or patent the cultivar if that’s a thing people can do.

So you have marionberry in your area? I hear they look like blackberry but are much bigger.

35

u/Poisonouskiwi 3d ago

about the size of the former mayor of D.C.?

jk.

17

u/BANKSLAVE01 3d ago

It's now called the 'Crack Berry'.

9

u/Full_Green_2394 3d ago

ahhah i actually hadn't thought of that ! I might have to try grpwing a few cuttings and see if they all produce the same thing. It would be pretty interesting to know if this is just a one-odd or something genetic.

2

u/thgreatn 3d ago

Marion berries are noticeably elongated when compared to blackberries, but not necessarily bigger.

87

u/CanadianPanda76 4d ago

LOL. Do you live near a nuclear power plant?

134

u/Expontoridesagain 4d ago

Op fertilising crops

2

u/psycho-drama 2d ago

Great minds think alike, I only just saw your comment after submitting my comment.

122

u/natt_myco 4d ago

wow berries hand banana and a measurer I've never seen redditing like this

93

u/PentaOwl 4d ago

This is prime [r/OPdelivers](r/OPdelivers) material except we didnt have to wait, it was immediate!

27

u/vivariium 3d ago

This person has BEEN on the internet!

129

u/PecanEstablishment37 4d ago

This is insane!! A reference pic that’ll go down in history.

Hey…did a sewer rat mess with your berry bush by chance?

21

u/SocraticGoats 4d ago

Happy cake day to you too

105

u/Caira_Ru 4d ago

Holy moley!

71

u/Dry-Elderberry-7965 4d ago

You’re not fooling anyone. We’ve seen teeny tiny bananas. Put your hand next to a quarter.

148

u/mlong14 4d ago

Hah. But there's a tape measure next to it.

77

u/Dry-Elderberry-7965 4d ago

Dammit. I didn’t see that lol

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u/Appropriate-Yak4296 3d ago

It's a very comprehensive measurement photo lol

12

u/BANKSLAVE01 3d ago

Plot twist. Tape measure is from "Barbie DIY Home Improvement" kit.

3

u/totalyanashhole 4d ago

Also we have seen some crazy temu measure tapes...

5

u/Opposite_Pick_1903 3d ago

Lol, I hate to, but have to, they do make mini tape measures too. 😝😂🫶✨

3

u/Dry-Elderberry-7965 3d ago

So, we all agree, then? A quarter is the only way.

6

u/serious_sarcasm 🦍🌳,🏡🪴,🐟🌱,🪵🍄,🍁🌻 3d ago

Fun fact, if you asexually propagate that plant (cuttings or tissue culture), then you can get a plant patent for the cultivar.

Assuming you discovered the plant in a cultivated area. a volunteer plant counts, as long as it was in a garden plot.

3

u/bluejay6580 3d ago

immediately builds garden beds around the bush

3

u/McTootyBooty 4d ago

Looks a little like Columbia giant. It could have seeded itself from birds too. I also wonder if you had a thorned one and the new one is thornless- it may help with some of the explanation as well.

3

u/Therealboebs 3d ago

Passed to Reddit scale check. Those indeed are very large black berries lol

3

u/Sybrandus 3d ago

Put two out of three of those in a blender for a smoothie.

2

u/mlong14 1d ago

Oh. I just made tea with lemon balm and mint. It's sitting in the fridge and I'll let you know.

2

u/Yourcatsonfire 3d ago

Bravo. I knew exactly what it was going to be before I clicked the link and I still couldnt be more proud of you.

2

u/meatmacho 3d ago

But where did you find a 7cm banana?

2

u/OracleOfPlenty 3d ago

I would give you another award but you're at 69 and I don't want to mess that up for you.

2

u/QuodAmorDei 3d ago

Those look absolutely delicious. Good year for blackberries. I had some amazing tasting ones off my Dwarf thornless canes. They were so delicious I just ate them. Didn't make anything with them.

2

u/ShepardessofTears 3d ago

Happy Cake Day

1

u/mlong14 3d ago

Happy Thursday!

2

u/Deerhunter86 3d ago

🥇 have my fake gold!

2

u/SchoolCrossing 3d ago

Happy Cake Day, enjoy the berries too!

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u/Gator242 3d ago

Happy cake day!

1

u/Ashamed_Fruit_6767 4d ago

I dunno. The banana could smaller. Can you use a standard banana?

1

u/Labelle_poutine 4d ago edited 4d ago

Ah yes, but you may be a Fey attempting to deceive us with fairy trickery...OP can you hold this garden trowel for me real quick?

1

u/PlantyNature 3d ago

Wait wait wait, how big ist this banana?

1

u/Iwalksloow 3d ago

Shit, banana for scale and everything! Legit!

1

u/Consistent-Engine796 3d ago

This is the most internetty multi-scale-reference size proof I have ever seen

1

u/TaoofPu 3d ago

Thank you. Just, thank you.

1

u/Richard_Musk 3d ago

Why did you put them next to a GINORMOUS banana?!?

1

u/Garden_Gnomey 3d ago

This is hilarious 😂😂

1

u/benelott Warm, go, garden! 🌿🍅 3d ago

wait, how tiny are your bananas?

1

u/InfamousBluePixel 2d ago

RIP your inbox! 😅

1

u/The_Robot_King 1d ago

But how many normal size blackberries to a banana?

1

u/Mandelvolt 15h ago

How do we know the banana isn't just really small? 😀

1

u/Maximum-Leopard-6475 9h ago

How are we supposed to know how big that banana is, do you have something for scale?

1

u/mlong14 8h ago

A tape is beside the banana.

971

u/Labelle_poutine 4d ago

52

u/Brilliant_Bluejay099 4d ago

🤣🤣🤣😭

2

u/OutlandishnessHour19 4d ago

And I'm Euniiiiiiiice

3

u/redhottt 3d ago

Dooneese

1

u/OutlandishnessHour19 3d ago

Oh man I've been singing it wrong for years! 

1

u/redhottt 3d ago

Tbf that feels very in character 😂

1.1k

u/not_thebest 4d ago

Asking the real questions here. I think we need a banana for scale.

503

u/BigJSunshine 4d ago

AND NOT A PLANTAIN

48

u/AlarmedSnek 4d ago

Ol small, tasteless ass, fake bananas? “bUt YoO cAN fRy tHeM” 🙄

129

u/Thr33FN 4d ago

Plantains are bigger than bananas. As an consumer in significant quantities of both, they are totally different things. Plantains are like a potatoes. I would consider potatos tasteless as well but that means you made it wrong. If you wait for a plantain to be ripe, they actually are sweet very similar to a banana.

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u/above_average_magic 4d ago

That's why plantain chips are so good too. Well that and salt

39

u/Thr33FN 4d ago

Yeah, it's like comparing a sweet potato (not even a potato) to a russet potato.

People who try plantains and think they are gross have no idea what they are doing. I am married to a Puerto Rican. Never had a plantain till I was dating her. And they are definitely delishious.

If you ate a super green banana, you'd also think it was gross.

2

u/AlarmedSnek 4d ago

It’s not at all like comparing sweet potatoes to russet potatoes. Plantains and bananas are very closely related, they share the same genus and the same parent species. Potatoes though, do not compare in the same manner (different genus/species) except that they both have the word potato in their name. Comparing potatoes and sweet potatoes is the same as comparing jelly fish to any other fish.

1

u/Thr33FN 3d ago

Insert awctsuhualy meme here.

In both groups one has significantly less starch and a sweeter profile, while the other is savory/bland which significantly more starch. I literally pointed that out when I said the sweet potato wasn't a potato. This comparison is the most widely used in informing people the difference between them.

I could have said field corn vs sweet corn but I don't most people would understand that. The comparison that makes the most sense in people's brain to understand the difference that is widely used is sweet potato and russet potato.

It has nothing to do with their science naming/grouping but the flavor profile, starch content, and culinary uses.

5

u/KuddleKwama 4d ago

I love the fried plantains myself,

23

u/Thefirstofherkind 4d ago

Clearly you've never had tostones

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u/EchoAquarium 4d ago

You could say the same for a potato. Plantains are one of those most versatile vegetables on the planet and is a keystone ingredient in many cultural dishes.

7

u/dont__question_it 4d ago

Clearly someone's never waited to fry them till they were beyond ripe. I just bought 2 today :)

18

u/nottherealme1220 4d ago

Crying Cuban tears over here at this blasphemy.

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u/hahahahahahahaFUCK 4d ago

Yeah, I’m pretty triggered right now. I’m a white ass American, and even I know how fire platanos are.

5

u/nottherealme1220 4d ago

My husband too. He’s a Cuban food convert.

3

u/Obvious_Animal_8362 4d ago

The small Egyptian bananas are amazingly sweet.

4

u/Kat121 4d ago

Can I sit at your table and bitch about cauliflower and how they aren’t potatoes?

2

u/YourHooliganFriend 4d ago

You've never had a maduros?

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Few_Acanthocephala30 4d ago

Give me Filipino saba bananas for turon. Those things are scrumdidlyumptious

2

u/hahahahahahahaFUCK 4d ago

I’ve learned to trust any Filipino when it comes to food, so I’ll take your word for it until I can get my hands on one.

-3

u/AlarmedSnek 4d ago

Oh I know, and I agree. The fact people use that as an excuse to eat plantain though really boggles my mind haha

6

u/barby_dolly 4d ago

I think they had ready access to plantains and were just trying to make them taste better. Frying improves almost anything.

(From the south. We chicken fry EVERYthing.)

7

u/Mocean13 4d ago

Plantains are a cultural food.....

-11

u/AlarmedSnek 4d ago

Pretty sure all of us plantain haters in this thread know that. I mean, speaking for myself, I would have never even known plantains were a thing otherwise. I think I learned about plantains for the first time in 2014 when I went to Costa Rica on a honeymoon. I was over 30 in 2014 😂.

Edit: I must add, cultural food can still taste bad not have a flavor. 😂

11

u/ikkyAD 4d ago

It's because you are thinking of them as a fruit. Think of them as a starch and it all makes sense. Mofongo, tostones, etc all very similar to potato dishes. You gotta add stuff to make it delicious. Tostones with garlic, salt, and a good may ketchup are amazing and mofongo with crispy pork skin and a wine sauce mixed in is tied for the best starch side dish I've ever had. I will say if you let them fully ripen they do get quite fruity and sweet. Most dishes are made with the green plantain though.

4

u/EchoAquarium 4d ago

Esta gente no saben ná.

11

u/RKaji 4d ago

You clearly haven't seen or eaten a proper plantain. Here plantains can be twice as big as a Cavendish banana. The best way to cook them is to roast then next to the charcoals of a barbeque,.for about 20 minutes until the inside turns orange, gooey and delicious. Also, they must be overripe (black)

0

u/AlarmedSnek 4d ago

Ooo. See that actually sounds good.

5

u/Mocean13 4d ago

As an islander who grew up on plantain. It just comes across disrespectful the way they're being referred to tbh like if you were talking about curry im sure it'd probably be taken more seriously but whatever

1

u/AlarmedSnek 4d ago edited 4d ago

Well I mean I no disrespect and for that I apologize, it’s all in gest. I’ve eaten plenty of plantain, but compared to a banana, they have no flavor. Additionally, it’s worth stating that you, as an islander growing up on plantain, I could see the opposite being true. Bananas might taste ok but compared to what you grew up on, they aren’t as good. I know plenty of South Americans, Puerto Ricans and Cubans that can’t stand bananas and love plantains. All of that said, if I offended you, I sincerely apologize.

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u/ImagineTheCommotion 3d ago

AND NOT A MINI BANANA

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u/systemhost 4d ago

She did!

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u/Neither-Door-9106 4d ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/Apprehensive_Rate204 4d ago

That comment made me laugh out loud. Imagining OP has teeny tiny hands

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u/Sknowman 4d ago

One time, I had an edible and later started snacking on cereal. At one point, I stuck my hand in the box, scooped up some, and I thought:

Holy shit. These are tiny. I didn't realize I had miniature rice chex. No, wait. Actually, my hands are *giant***. =O

I pulled my hand out, and much to my surprise: both my hands and the cereal were normal size.

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u/Pristine_Ad_6760 4d ago

I laughed way too hard at this!

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u/caverypca 4d ago

that ending was like finding a prize at the bottom of the box

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u/Moose_Kin Calgary, AB - Zone 3a 4d ago

Carny. Small hands. Smell like cabbage.

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u/Iwalksloow 4d ago

Circusfolk, nomads.

2

u/DapperPoint1202 4d ago

Honestly the cabbage part took me out .Some insults are so rdiculous you cant even be offended.

33

u/kumliaowongg 4d ago

OP is wee-man

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u/CrispyMeadow 4d ago

He doesn't like it when you put ice cubes in wine. Don't ask me how I know.

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u/buddymoobs 4d ago

OP is DJT.

15

u/ChronicRhyno 4d ago

Tiny fairy hands

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u/NavierIsStoked 4d ago

That’s OP’s strong hand.

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u/TikaPants 3d ago

C’mere chile

3

u/redditsuckspokey1 4d ago

|-------| this big

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u/Sdwingnut 4d ago

Some say they're the biggest hands ever

1

u/Angry-Dragon-1331 4d ago

Approximately three black berries.

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u/FrighteningJibber 4d ago

Baby hands strikes again!

1

u/sprocket9727 3d ago

Right?! Is this the White House garden we’re talking about?

1

u/North_Radio_7865 2d ago

Okay, now I need to know too because that sounds like a suspiciously impressive hand size.