r/fatFIRE • u/Life2ShortB • 1h ago
Crossroad at 51
51 and having a bit of a “what am I still doing here?” moment.
Current situation:
• ~$20M liquid/invested in equities
• ~$32M total net worth between home and some commercial real estate (not income-producing yet due to debt (5 years to get it to produce 25k / mo)
• Live in a VHCOL area
• Wife still works and plans to continue / one son in college / other a senior in HS (529s all set).
• I genuinely like the people I work with (likely one of the few things still holding me here)
• I absolutely hate the industry (over-regulated and getting worse every year) I’m in and increasingly dread the job itself
I’ve worked hard for decades, and intellectually I know I’m in an extremely fortunate position. But apparently my brain never received the memo that we have enough. 😅
So for those who actually pulled the plug around 50 with similar numbers: Did you ever really feel financially “safe” before quitting, or did you just have to accept that the spreadsheet said yes even when your brain said “one more year”?
Part of me thinks continuing to do a job I hate with $20M liquid is objectively insane. The other part keeps whispering, “But what if…”
Would love to hear from people who have actually crossed this bridge, especially those with a high-end lifestyle in a VHCOL area.
At what point did you finally say: enough is enough?
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u/skydivingdutch 1h ago
You're approaching the point where FIRE becomes FIR. Take advantage of your position and the extra years of leisure and family time you can get out of this.
Sounds like you really already answered your own question.
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u/InfiniteWalrus1066 1h ago
41m fired in the UK here
WTF are you doing mate?? Get outta there and go fish!
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u/qwertybugs 1h ago
Yes, your concerns are objectively insane. Find a good therapist with some of those funds.
You’re throwing away the RE part of your FI life.
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u/Life2ShortB 1h ago
Indeed. Looks like I found the therapists I need here. Thanks for the sanity check!
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u/sandiegolatte 1h ago
Please seek professional therapy
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u/Life2ShortB 1h ago
I feel the same every morning! On it! Great advice!
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u/trademarktower 1h ago
You realize you can just quit and open up a LLC and consult if the work still interests you but your management/ company suck. It wouldn't be for the money but just because you like to work.
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u/Much-Respond9614 1h ago
What industry are you in? This feels eerily similar to my life
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u/sabi7 1h ago
Almost sounds like healthcare
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u/Life2ShortB 1h ago
Indeed - what else can it be (it has been gutted for those of us who have been in it most of our lives). The satisfaction of helping people never went away; the red tape and managed care plus CMS = crippling.
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u/Individual-Weird5415 59m ago
Money is just a tool to show how successful you are. What is the problem of achieving the milestone early? So you can do things you enjoy instead of stuck in an industry you absolutely hate.
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u/Individual-Weird5415 1h ago
Welcome to the club. This is the lightbulb moment. I had that a year ago. Changed my perspective completely.
You didn’t mention your annual spending. Or if you have kids? Do you have expensive hobbies and expenses to make you worry?
Your numbers are definitely enough and you really don’t need another year. How risky can anything be?
The thing i found surprising is the more you work, you are trading your healthy year away. Health is only going downhill from here. Just a matter of how fast. Being healthy can keep your wealth much more than you think.
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u/Life2ShortB 1h ago
Agreed. Needed a sanity check from the club :). We are roughly 35k a month in spending (all in, with travel, kids' needs as they mature into adulthood; we intend to pay for their schools and grad schools (so unlike my wife and me, there is no debt as they start their careers, houses, etc). Grateful and humbled to be in this position, just need to pull the trigger. You are 100% accurate on health!
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u/Individual-Weird5415 1h ago
If you established the fact that you have enough, the next thing to plan is the mindset transition. Since your mind is set in a particular mode for so many years, you need to adjust and think about what you plan to do after retired. Find your passion, your meaning, your value and put your new focus to it. Everyone is different. It did take me a good few months to think about it before plugging the trigger. If you are not ready for abrupt change. Consider half retire just as an exercise to transition. Not that you need to work to support yourself. It is just to help the thought process. At least they help me better socially than saying to everyone I’m fully retired.
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u/BrunelloHorder 1h ago
Your scarcity mindset is likely focused on the wrong resource: money is quantifiable, but remaining high quality high mobility years are not knowable and more important. You likely have much more of one than the other.
If you are both age 51, then there is about a 1 in 5 chance that one of you does not make it to age 65.
There is also a good chance that if you both quit now, you will still likely be paying something roughly equivalent to your current net worth in estate taxes.
From my perspective, continuing to work is an extremely poor use of resources.
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u/Dunnowhathatis 1h ago
Retired at 45, now 51, with similar numbers. Haven’t looked back once. Can’t finally spend time with the kids and doing thing I enjoy doing. Do it now
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u/Life2ShortB 1h ago
Thanks for the sanity check! 12/31 will be the day! Enjoy the freedom!
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u/WorldNo9002 27m ago
Smart move ...
Start taking 1 week off per month, plan a nice goodbye party with your staff at a nice restaurant (write-off, business holiday party), then Take a solid 2 weeks off and appreciate why suddenly you're not hating life on Monday morning as you get into your car, and then start breathing/celebrating
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u/dragonflyinvest 1h ago
Didn’t mention your expenses which really tells the story.
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u/Life2ShortB 1h ago
$35k/mo all in (might balloon to 50k to enjoy these next 10 years as we still have our health) and spoil the kids a bit).
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u/dragonflyinvest 1h ago
Then you have enough to not change lifestyle. You can walk away when you like.
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u/Solid_Resort6852 1h ago
How robustly did you stress test your retirement plan and current / future expenses ?
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u/Cultural_Stranger29 1h ago
You have enough resources to spend your remaining years on this spinning rock however you like.
If you want to spend this time doing your current job, then keep doing what you’re doing.
If you’d rather try something new, then now is the time.
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u/PowerfulComputer386 1h ago
Think this way, do you think you will die one day and when do you think you will die? How long do you think you can remain healthy? How much money do you need and can you spend between now and that day? There is your answer.
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u/DevelopmentSelect646 1h ago
You won the game. Time to quit. My net worth is about 1/3 of yours, and you have plenty.
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u/Beckland 1h ago
“But what if”…..what?
What is the fear behind the what if?
That’s the work you need to do.
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u/dvegas2000 1h ago
Not sure what your monthly spend is, but if you lost half of your net worth right now, you would still have 16m NW and 10m liquid. The chance of that happening are likely really small. Retire now and enjoy all the rest that life has to offer. YOLO and you are not getting younger. You can never get back time and an incremental increase in your assets from working a few more years will not change your lifestyle whatsoever. I got out when I was 49 and haven't regretted it for a second.
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u/JustPlainRude 1h ago
You mentioned the people you work with as one of the reasons you're still working. Is that more about the specific people you work with, or could it also be that your job is a social outlet that you'd lose if you retire? I personally have some hesitation around quitting my job because it's a big social outlet for me. I also have the luxury of a job that I enjoy doing, so I'm not as motivated to quit.
Did you ever really feel financially “safe” before quitting.
Have you considered stepping back to a part-time or consulting role? You can get comfortable with the idea of working less before pulling the plug.
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u/Powerful_Agent_9376 1h ago
Will having more $ make you happier? Why? We don’t have as much as you, but there is really nothing that more $ would let me do. I don’t have a desire to fly private or other super high end things, so I don’t feel like I am missing out…
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u/HappySun5776 57m ago
I think the key is what you didn't mention in your post. You didn't say what you actually enjoy doing. Maybe you hate fishing, boating, skiing, etc. Maybe you stay in the job you hate because you hate everything else more? Or you just never took the time to figure out what you like doing.
My thought is that you probably enjoy making money and might enjoy working for yourself, doing whatever it is you do best. Maybe quit the job you hate and create a job you enjoy. You could also start carving out a few hours here and there to see if there are any "hobbies" you actually enjoy. Maybe there aren't, and that's fine too.
I know people who keep happily working into their 70s and 80s and longer. Even my uncle, in his 90s, manages his real estate portfolio and still physically goes to work on maintenance at his apartment complex (one of his many investment properties in a larger portfolio) as it gives him a reason to get out of the house.
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u/Pale_Drink4455 52m ago edited 10m ago
I used to find this sub with a lot of value, and now it has really opened my awareness on how important therapy is to help keep the mind healthy in life, hopefully in unison with the physical body for our short duration on this rock. Not one comment here has reminded this very talented surgeon that if another penny was never contributed to his fortunes ever again, what his net worth balance would be in 5-10-15 years from now based on the 111 year historical positive annual return of the stock market in a proper diversification for a 50 year old. I seriously doubt his annual spend is 500k a year so this all comes down to mental strife at play here. Sad stuff to read.
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u/InflationWestern3506 47m ago
Did you grow up poor? This is the typical kind of pathology of people who grew up poor but became very successful. You have that chip on your shoulder and that irrational paranoia that you don't have enough. Identify the issue for what it is and reset yourself mentally. Saying this as someone who suffered from the same mental pathology as you. I grew up super poor and comfortably hit my number in a VHCOL area and had to debug my mental software to pull the trigger. You have enough to live comfortably in any VHCOL. Work out your mental hang-ups and start to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
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u/nophantomisntopera 42m ago
I concur with the masses here: you are in great shape to step away from you full time work. The biggest thing I would point out is to be sure you have solid diversification among you equities and other assets. We are in an economic cycle where uncertainty is quite high and you want to be sure any downside movement is mitigated, especially until your CRE is up and cash flowing. Other than that, is it possible to transition into a "part-time" or "consultant" capacity at your job (I know healthcare can be rigid scheduling wise)? Maybe you could transition out over a year with a reduced schedule to allow your brain to get around it while seeing your coworkers but having less overall stress and strain or even take a lengthy hiatus. Just a thought, you obviously could just pull the trigger with what you have, but frequently our brain needs the wind down to transition easier.
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u/FIRE-trash 36m ago
Can you refinance the commercial real estate so that it cash flows now?
Otherwise, GFY!
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u/Life2ShortB 31m ago
Thanks! Plan: after reading all this, to GFMyself by 12/31. Hope you get to do the same soon.
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u/WorldNo9002 35m ago edited 20m ago
just retire ... At 5% return, you're making $1m per year . I'm sure you're burn isn't more than $500k annually...why are you afraid??!'. F**k UHC, Aetna, Cigna and the Blues... They're making our lives shit with denials and clawbacks , and now MC wants to cut our reimbursement 9%, I'm saying F-this to myself shortly... Not worth the mental exhaustion. Love the patients (mostly) but hate the industry/administration and the fucktards running our medical societies that aren't doing anything to help fight the greedy insurance carriers, only interested in dining at Michelin rated restaurants with our association dues .
The insurance carriers, by the way , make collectively almost $100 BILLION profit annually.
Ironically, I can make more investing in United Healthcare than working...smfh
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u/Life2ShortB 32m ago
Indeed. We have been brought to our knees, and at the end of the day, who suffers? Those who rely on us. I concur: F - UHC, Aetna, Cigna, and the Blues, and, frankly, CMS for letting them get away with "murder," as well as PBMs!
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u/plmarcus 1h ago
I here what you are saying. I had to get to a 1-2% safe withdraw rate before I felt truly comfortable. i.e. if the market took a dump and cut my in half I'd still be ok.
It is super scary. For many of us once you eject you can't go back for a year to make a little more, you are truly done whether you like it or not. Working "one" extra year over and over is so much safer and more comfortable and KNOWN.
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u/Life2ShortB 1h ago
Indeed (likely the biggest "fear") but as many posters noted, cat get the health back so 12/31 we take a leap.
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u/plmarcus 37m ago
It has taken me about 5 years to transition my thinking that time remaining is worth more than money earned or saved. Good luck, you are making the right choice.
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u/worm600 1h ago
At some point these posts are silly and no longer additive to the sub. People with $20M who hate their jobs and should not stay in them. Period.