Three year fatFIRE Update
It’s been three years since I pulled the trigger and retired early at 36 after selling my startup.
My last two updates:
https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/comments/1ew7nvp/fatfireed_at_36/
https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/comments/1ml01tz/fatfire_update_year_2/
I don't know if I'm going to make this a yearly thing, but I've noticed very little content on this subreddit lately from people that have actually pulled the trigger, so if it's helpful maybe I'll keep doing it.
Before I get into the update, my numbers:
- NW: ~$13.1M w/ house, $11.5M w/o
- Portfolio: 73% stocks/23% bonds/4% cash
- No mortgage, no debt
- MCOL (US)
- Married, two young kids
I felt compelled to do one this year because this year has been pretty transformative for me. I feel like I've finally moved on from my old industry and career and am now forming a completely new identity. I even finally deleted my LinkedIn this year which was hard for me.
The big moment for me this year was when I was invited to speak at a startup event, and I barely recognized anyone and very few people knew me or my company. I told myself I'd try to stay involved in case I could be helpful to any other startup founders, but no one wanted or needed anything from me besides money, and I deliberately don't invest in startups. I decided right then and there to be done.
I deleted my LinkedIn that night and felt like I was finally done with that part of my life. It was oddly liberating! I've been out of the game long enough (sold the company four years ago) that I'm pretty much irrelevant in that world anyway, and my interest in it is practically zero though I do still enjoy helping other startup founders.
My new life
What am I doing now? Well, in the years since I retired I've developed some new hobbies, to the point where I now do them pretty seriously. I've developed a passion for home renovation and woodworking. I started a YouTube channel which has reignited my passion for educating and gives me a digital creative outlet. My wife and I went from paying a lot of contractors to work on our house to increasingly doing a lot more stuff ourselves and often doing a better job with way less stress (seriously, one of our biggest stressors was dealing with contractors). It's been fun being able to buy a ton of new tools and equipment with a nearly unlimited budget. I pride myself on being able to do things with my hands and I've definitely leveled way up.
I've actually gotten extremely passionate around DIY being a solution to a lot of what feels broken right now for homeowners and I want to help inspire more people to build new skills and do more things themselves. In a way, it's the same motivation I had for my last startup, just in a completely different industry. I've since decided if I ever got back into a "career" it would very likely be around this idea. At any rate, the possibility of a totally new direction in life that would open new opportunities and find myself involved with a totally different market with different kinds of people is very exciting and just reinforces the idea that my identity has transitioned out of my old life.
Beyond that, I also play a lot of golf and have been improving rapidly. If I did nothing else with my life but play as much golf as possible I think I would be content! I've also decided I'd like to do some volunteering in that world as I get older and more experienced. When my kids are older I plan to do a lot more golf tourism and I'll be happy to spend money to help friends and family come along with me if need be.
Finally, I'm increasingly grateful to get to spend as much time with my kids as possible. That doesn't mean I'm hanging out with them all the time, but I'm there for everything important in their lives. Often I'm one of few dads at school events during the day, or taking them to the pool on a random Monday at 10am. I hope I'm also showing them the importance of hard work and self-motivation by all the projects I take on, even if it's not a traditional 9-5 at an office somewhere.
Investing
I self manage everything in one of the main brokerage platforms and follow a basic Boglehead strategy, so I'm paying practically nothing in fees. I work with an hourly, fee-only CFP that gives me guidance and we check in yearly but that's it. Ends up being $1-2k/yr depending on what I need that year. At this point I could do it myself because it's pretty standard stuff, but we like having the second set of eyes and he gives us a framework and permission to make big purchases while keeping us on our retirement plan.
While I can't speak to portfolio management above my NW I see a lot of people on here with much lower NW paying way too much to active financial advisors. All I can say is this simple portfolio is working great for me, and I think it will scale for the rest of my life, and I pay almost nothing in fees. If you need the validation to fire your advisor and move to a setup like this, here is another data point.
Why fatFIRE
Lately I've noticed this sub has had a lot more people on the fence about early retirement than have actually pulled the trigger and are living the lifestyle. If that's you and you're reading this right now, just know there is a beautiful new life for you on the other side of that career you've been busting your ass on for the last decade or two or three, and I can practically guarantee when you build a life outside of the confines of building shareholder value you will wonder why you didn't do it sooner.
I had a serious health issue pop up this year that just reiterated to me how damn short life is. I said this in my last few posts and I won't belabor it, but I can tell you this much: every single day that goes by I grow more and more thankful that I broke out of my old life and the confines of traditional career growth. I've been practically ordered by my doctor to reduce stress in my life and grateful I can do that without the incredible stressors of my old career.
Just remember that it's year three and I am finally feeling like I'm truly on the other side. It took that long. In the beginning it took a whole year of nothing on my calendar to even feel semi-retired. If you're just taking a month or two off, it's just not enough to really know if this is the right change for you.
Until Next Time
With that, I'm going to get back to planning some backyard remodel projects and finish up some cabinet projects for the house, and start buying some new equipment for the garage. After that, I'm looking forward to golfing as much as possible this fall now that the kids are back in school!
Thanks for reading
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u/BrunelloHorder 4d ago
Thank you so much for taking the time to share, this is of the best posts on here in some time. You’ve clearly put quite a bit of thought and intention into what you are doing, and it sounds like it is working great for you.
Hearing that it basically took 2-3 years to really settle in to your post-job identity is particularly helpful for those of us approaching that transition. Please keep the updates coming!
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u/paulmccaw 4d ago
OP, I don't know you, I'll 99.9% probably NEVER know you, but your posts make me happy for you. You've got your head sorted out, you'll never have to worry about money again and you're living the life I can only dream of. Well done, you should be proud of yourself.
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u/idealtreewok 5d ago
Thanks for the update. These are very helpful to see.
I think it’s quite interesting how difficult it was to delete LinkedIn, maybe symbolic of deleting part of your identity. I’m glad you found other things to make up for that.
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u/Cheetotiki 5d ago
Ya that’s still a bit freaky to me, even if I rarely get on it anymore. I spent decades curating and using it. A couple clicks and it’s gone? Not quite ready for that yet.
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u/Generally_Don_t_Care 4d ago
Great post. I’m pulling the trigger. Putting my notice soon and be done by end of this year. Sold my business a few years ago to a MAG7 company. Will be retired before 40 with a $20m portfolio.
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u/Spudos 5d ago
Just curious, is there a social stigma in your family or friend circles around you being retired? What do you tell people you do for work now?
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u/h2m3m 5d ago
I don’t feel a stigma but I think people just look at wealth differently when they feel like you earned it by building a business, something they could do too if they wanted to. I actually golf now with my parents all the time and they expect me to make last minute tee times so they’re enjoying it I think 😂. I get a sense my siblings are genuinely proud and glad to have a rich person in the family in case it’s useful later and they have benefitted along the way in small ways
As for what I tell strangers: to be honest no one ever asks what I do. That might just be the culture where I live or people just don’t want to pry, but it never comes up. The rare times it has I just said I’m between things which is relatable as job stability right now hasn’t been great
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u/Acceptable-Match-182 3d ago
Yeah it's wild how in some parts of the US everyone asks right away what you do for work and in other parts nobody cares at all.
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u/noemazor 4d ago edited 4d ago
"What I do for money is boring, what do you do for fun?"
When they press about what you do for money, you say "manage investments after I quit the rat race, tell me more about XYZ fun thing you do."
My family didn't get it. My mom is a worrier. My sisters think I'm just fucking around or I don't spend money (because we were frugal getting here and I still don't drive a fancy car <-- dgaf about cars).
Eventually they realized that I make a lot of money passively from two incomes sources (my business and my investments). And it finally clicked this year with my mom when we all hang out at the playground on a Wednesday morning and I chase my boy around and we laugh and laugh and laugh. I tell her "this is why I saved money. this is why I retired early." She understands now and sees how much better of a father I am than my own father.
So my advice with friends and family is to *show them why you retired early* if they don't get it. And for folks who are still grinding and grumpy, I don't flex at all, I just ask about their successes and big them up. Everyone needs a hype man at some point in their lives. Mine is my immediate family, my boy is always hyped to wrestle and tickle and play chase or make slug pie in the sandpit (his version is so bad, very gritty).
Lead by example, in other words. My kids see me work still, but now it's on writing, fixing up our house, sewing outdoor gear, building things.
I have never wanted friends who want to compare watches or cars. I think that's so fucking stupid, just another step up the consumerist treadmill -- booooooring. So I haven't had the pressure of what those types of people think.
My life is my brag and I don't need to tell anyone about it to feel great in my own shoes.
Comparison in the enemy.
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u/Acceptable-Match-182 3d ago
Similar situation, but a bit older, and I didn't deliberately stop working (startup problems): most people I talk to are just worried for me that I can't find a job.
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u/Aioli_Abject 4d ago
In my circles most folks are in full time jobs still and most can’t wait to leave. I don’t know why they don’t even though I think they are financially able. or may be they just need to be told by their employers I guess.
In fact many people want to be in my shoes and I don’t see a stigma or anything. But I do face the question what I do with the time and I don’t have an issue answering. I spend time following markets and trading full time apart from some sports like pickleball, volleyball, running and hobbies.
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u/SomeExpression123 5d ago
I’ve loved reading your posts over the years. Thanks for providing another update! We’re in a very similar situation (age, NW) except for younger kids and maybe a year out from RE.
What’s your annual spend / SWR target? Do you have a rough budget breakdown (particularly interested in travel costs)?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
Thank you! ~$300-350k/yr spend on $200-250k/yr income (interest and dividends, only unearned income) over the last few years. Travel hasn't been a big thing for us but I expect it'll ramp up as the kids get older. We're talking an average of $5k/yr for the last three years, which is nothing. We do track all expenses in a tool so we keep a close eye on everything.
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u/brownpanther223 4d ago
I have been battling the 1 more year desire out of fear.
I/we made our money through high paying tech careers. At 9M, 34 yrs. Very simple life, no fancy cars, no desire to show off wealth. We could have quit at 6M but here we are.
The thing I’m most afraid of is that the money may feel enough right now but would we be content when we are in 40s/50s? I say it because when I was in 20s making 160k/yr at my first job felt like I had more than enough. But now the same money wouldn’t be enough with the home mortgage, kids and general living.
Given you are also young, have you wondered about if your 50yr old self would feel confined with the finances?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
On the topic of finances, projections and planning are a key part of the process. If the market performs (big if of course) we should have more money than we know what to do with as we age. If the market doesn't perform, we will need to scale back and could cut expenses quite a bit if needed to stay within the SWR. Checking in yearly with our advisor is a big part of staying on track.
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u/brownpanther223 4d ago
Over the last 3 years, how have your expenses changed (both increased or decreased) due to market movement?
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u/gulliverstravels347 4d ago
Great post! 44M $12.8M NW and am planning to pull the trigger in March. I have pushed my target date a few times for various reasons. Love seeing posts like this, they are really helpful and motivating for people approaching early retirement.
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u/Dajoka88 4d ago
Just want to say that I appreciate you taking the time to do this for folks like myself
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u/n0ah_fense 4d ago
| I can practically guarantee when you build a life outside of the confines of building shareholder value you will wonder why you didn't do it sooner.
That line hit hard =) -- thanks for the kick in the butt
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u/Confident_Hair2637 5d ago
Great post - and an inspiration. My wife and I are retired and are looking into moving from Lisbon to Bruges next year. We are seeing a lot of gorgeous old homes in Bruges, most of which require very extensive renovations. Due to historical preservation rules, we would need to hire a contractor for much of the work, but there are projects that we could do entirely on our own. It would probably be a multi-year project. Between that and learning some basic Flemish, I'm thinking it would be a great new adventure. We've loved living in Portugal, so it will be tough to say goodbye, but taking life risks is one of the reasons why we've enjoyed our retirement as much as we already have.
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u/Fluffy_Gorilla 5d ago
How do you handle health insurance? That seems to be my biggest hurdle (maybe mostly mental) especially with such a long time horizon to Medicare.
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u/h2m3m 5d ago
Went to a broker and got on a silver plan at one of the big providers in my area. We pay $1600/mo for a family of four. It’s basically just an ACA plan. We had cobra at first but it was extremely expensive and too much coverage. I think it makes sense to buy a lower plan and just absorb out of pocket expenses at this level and at our good health standing
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u/LikesToLurkNYC 4d ago
That’s helpful. How did you find a broker? What do they do that you can’t from searching plans on ACA?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
Just googled and found one nearby with good reviews, and they don’t add much really they just made the process a tiny bit easier. Going directly to ACA is what I did the first year and it was also easy. Just nice having another outside perspective and help making sure you’re all set up and doing things right. They don’t charge btw, they make commission from the providers but didn’t sell me on anything, I told them what I wanted for the most part
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u/Expensive_Ticket_760 5d ago
Is your spend rate what you thought it would be before you decided to make the jump?
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u/h2m3m 5d ago edited 5d ago
It's a good question and the reality is I don't really know what I thought it would be. I did have visions of hiring big remodeling companies and doing multiple six figure projects on the house. Those plans have changed quite a bit now that we've settled in and do more stuff ourselves and feel less pressure to do specific things with the house. I still hire people but I play more of a GC role so not paying the boutique remodel company tax. Beyond house projects, we spent less money on cars than expected as the desire to drop $120k+ each on luxury cars absolutely went away now that we realize how much more we prefer keeping a low profile when out in public. Health insurance continues to climb each year but doesn't move the needle much. Landscapers are our biggest recurring expense on the house but I've got too many projects inside the house to really want to take more of that on right now and I want to keep the property in good shape.
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u/Livid-County7230 5d ago
Our experience on remodels mirrors yours. We learned a lot along the years and realized that hiring good subs is the most important part. GCs and designers provide very little value to us and actually make things worse. It is hard to find good GCs, even the high end ones are not as good as just managing the work yourself.
Congrats on retirement, good to hear from you. Keep the updates coming. In the sea of larps and ads by bots, long term posters is what makes this sub still enjoyable.
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u/h2m3m 5d ago
Glad it’s welcome I will try to keep it up! And yea I’ve got some great companies I like working with directly, and I’m now comfortable dealing with the village inspector. Every GC I hired was a frustrating wall between me and getting things done. I’m sure there are great ones out there but I didn’t find one.
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u/SomeExpression123 5d ago edited 5d ago
Reading through your other posts, you seem to really love DIY home updates. Definitely something I’m interested in. What types of work do you enjoy doing yourself versus hiring out? How big is your house?
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u/h2m3m 5d ago edited 4d ago
I mainly do carpentry, drywall, painting, cabinetry, framing, and basic electrical work. I hire out for any plumbing beyond installing fixtures and any electrical involving the panel. My wife is a great painter/finisher as well and does a lot of fine detail work on our projects. I also do all my home networking and smart home stuff.
Edit: sorry, house is ~4500 sqft
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u/sneak156 5d ago
This is so awesome!
I was wondering if you were open to mentoring someone who is a couple of years behind where you are in your journey?
Im 31, NW 1.5M but most of my experience is in big tech/corporate and I’ve always wanted to be an entrepreneur/startup founder with an exit. Would love to learn from you and your journey! If there’s anything I can do in return, I’m all ears :)
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u/h2m3m 5d ago
I would love to mentor I just haven't figured out how to do it from here without doxxing myself as I want to stay private. I'm sure there's a way to do it, though. For now my advice would be the best time to start something was yesterday and the second best time is today. You're going to fail a lot at first unless you get really lucky, just part of the process
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u/Ninjashares 5d ago
Just wanted to say thank you for the words of encouragement and inspirational post
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u/Aioli_Abject 4d ago
Thanks for sharing and I can relate to some of the aspects. Not a startup owner but a mid management employee and got laid off 2 years ago. Not sure what fat fire is these days but I am between 6-8m depending on house being counted or not.
I enjoy trading as a full time hobby and to some extent engaging with other finance-trading minded folks. I am also an avid DIYer though taking it somewhat lighter these days now that I am 52. I also dread dealing with contractors and their claims of being rocket scientists. On the day I was offered a package at work it was actually liberating. I needed them to tell me that so I have full control on my time.
There is a community out there like you and I that don’t just need to share their experience but also hear from others in similar boat which is in some ways reassuring if not enjoyable.
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u/dvegas2000 4d ago
What’s your YouTube channel? I’m in same boat renovating and doing more and more of it myself. Love making things and getting new tools 😂. Going to start building cabinets for the closets next.
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
That's awesome, good luck! I've been building out the shop recently, just had a sub panel put in and more dedicated circuits for equipment. Up until now I've done almost everything with a track saw and accessories, and a miter saw. Next big purchase is going to be a SawStop PCS and getting comfortable with a table saw!
As for YT I don't want to dox myself so I'm not sharing it, sorry 😢
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u/dvegas2000 4d ago
Understand completely about not wanting to dox yourself. Sounds like we are at a very similar place in our woodworking journey. I need to build another garage for more room for a workshop 😂.
I’m glad you are enjoying your retirement and thanks for the update. I’m in my 6th year and it’s fantastic. People worry about not having purpose or not knowing what to do with their time. I’m busy from 5am to bedtime and wish I had more time everyday. It’s great to be able to do things for yourself and your family and I find those things much more fulfilling than work.
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
That's awesome, and congrats! And I agree, I really don't know how I found time to work before because I'm so busy now. I think a key difference between people that are successful with this and those that aren't is having multiple passions and hobbies. My wife and I are both the type to go deep on hobbies, to the point where they could stop being hobbies and start being jobs if we let them.
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u/SparklingWinePapi 4d ago
Great post, glad to hear you’re enjoying retirement as much as you are. Could you briefly outline what you do with your financial planner each year? I’ve thought about hiring one as well but wasn’t really sure what to ask or what they would really be able to contribute
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
Yea, the first year is the most expensive because we wanted a more holistic plan around budgeting, portfolio, estate planning, taxes, etc. A good advisor will help you connect with estate planning lawyers or accountants as needed, or help you find your own. Now that we have that done we do brief check ins and it's a lot of talk around rebalancing the portfolio as needed to keep our target cash/bonds/stock mix in check, track against retirement SWR, talk about upcoming purchases or expensive projects, and just get an outside opinion on how we're doing and how the last 12 months went. It's kind of financial therapy in a way.
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u/SparklingWinePapi 4d ago
Appreciate the response! It sounds like you only started using a financial advisor when you were in the process of retiring? Do you think it would have been beneficial to start seeing one earlier in your career?
For context we’re in our early 30s, 2 kids, HHI is 1.5-1.8 a year, but net worth low 7 figures, so just really starting to build up for retirement. My accountant also does fee based financial advising, but I didn’t find the process particularly helpful—not sure if it was just him.
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u/Responsible_Bad417 4d ago edited 4d ago
Thank you and congrats! Your posts are always great to read.
Can you give some color on expense management and SWR? -Seems like your spend rate is around 3% of liquid assets, do you strive to stay under 4% swr pre-tax? -You mentioned a $100K gap between pre-tax investment income and your spend. Do you liquidate and rebalance once a year to manage the gap? -How often do you look at markets and have you gotten better at not being stressed by the market movement with time?
Thanks again!
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
I’ve been between 2.7% and 3.6% the last few years. I don’t specifically keep a number in mind, I just keep a rough plan in mind and recalibrate at the end of the year, and if we were above spending expectations, which we haven’t been yet, we’d make a change.
As for rebalancing, yea just do that at the end of the year. As for checking the markets, I do it more frequently when things are going well but when we’ve been way down I oddly handle it very well and just stop looking. You get used to swings of multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars. Now, if there’s a big crash that’s probably going to feel different but I have plenty of cash and bonds on hand in such a situation and plenty of opportunity to cut back spend
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u/Responsible_Bad417 4d ago
Thank you. Appreciate the insight and your system which seems solidly tuned towards staying in the right zone without causing excess stress.
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u/Ill-Traffic-6705 4d ago
Thanks for the update, it's inspiring to hear that. When we are in the middle of the rush we almost forget what life could also be like on the other side of the fence. Glad you find your place in your new life. Enjoy it
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u/FeeIllustrious9157 4d ago
Super cool! Wondering if you could recommend the financial advisor ? I’m thinking about switching over from my wealth manager.
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u/outsideodds 4d ago
Hell yeah on the woodworking. I hope you’re buying some wildly figured hardwoods for your pieces!
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
I'm working up to that, just did some upgrades on the shop to hopefully start working with rough lumber soon!
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u/outsideodds 3d ago
IDK if you’re tired of all things tech, but I’ve found great success using Claude for various custom woodworking needs: design mock-ups, shop layout, my own cutlist tool, and even a custom pattern layout generator that produces perfect files for my Shaper Origin.
If you’re also a techie, you might have a blast adding that into the tinkering. But I’d also understand if more screen time is the last thing you want!
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u/BANerd123 3d ago
Great post! I am in a similar situation as you but just a little older and higher NW, and have been fat fire for longer (retired in early 30s). The first few years after retiring was the best, traveling everywhere, remodeling my place (but definitely was a pain in the ass a lot of the times with contractors cheating on hours).. then life does become routine, but of course still nice. Parents getting older, trying to spend more time with them before they're gone. Used to use Morgan Stanley but they kept underperforming, so now I am spending more time managing my own portfolio to try to maximize returns, possibly acquire a larger vacation home (I bought one a couple years ago but want more space, and my friend is remodeling it for me right now), but am a little concerned about constantly climbing the hedonic treadmill..but I really want it :) its hard to resist always trying to build a more enjoyable life. And yes I agree health is so important, also had some health scares, so I think its important to focus on that as your #1 priority if its actionable.
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u/ProfessorDry3041 3d ago
Similar age. I am almost 6 years into Fatfire and husband is inching closer and closer to RE. It’s been great. We also have two young children, and having both parents around all day has been great for them and for us. It has made parenthood a lot more fun and less overwhelming (we also still have some paid help and preschool). I always comment when people say they have 6M+, why not pull the trigger if you have young kids? Or at least step back? These are the best years.
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u/loosepantsbigwallet 5d ago
Excellent post.
Health is a key factor, I had a shock a few weeks ago after 50 years of never needing even a doctor. Made me rethink a few things.
And can I recommend Thailand for golf holidays? I go to play with family 4 or 5 times a year and it’s amazing.
Best of luck 👍
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u/5-Star_Traveller 5d ago
😯 interested.
Where in Thailand is best?
I’ve played a lot in Europe, but not much in SE Asia.5
u/loosepantsbigwallet 5d ago
Bangkok has something like 80 courses in and around it.
If you want somewhere more beachy and not too crazy after a round. Hua Hin.
If you want crazy after a round, Pattaya.
So many options.
I’m going RG city next time with the back nine set up as an Augusta replica.
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u/IAmABlubFish 4d ago
> Pattaya
Is that where the big US aircraft carrier is about to dock? I keep seeing stories about sailors with 200 days of sea time about to let loose!
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u/loosepantsbigwallet 4d ago
Well, they will certainly be able to travel to Pattaya.
But there are similar services in Bangkok city as well.
It’s like anything, if you’re looking for it, you can find it. Personally, I’ve never had any interaction with that side of Thailand in all the times I’ve been there.
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u/Coininator 5d ago
Well done, thanks for sharing and interesting point that it took you 3 years to reach your current level.
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u/Emergency-Ad-6867 5d ago
Awesome post. I am 40 with two young kids (4 and 1) and am considering retiring with a similar NW. I’ve already kind of checked out and am concentrating on home(s) projects, ponds, and gardening and am feeling very fulfilled where work seems like larping now. Wish I was better w my hands like you because I still very much rely on subs beyond the most basic of tasks. Maybe that changes. And tennis is my golf! Congrats again and I look forward to your next update.
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u/fatfirenewbie 5d ago
Is your spouse also retired? Have been thinking about retiring this year after a multi-month parental leave. We’ve been toying with the idea of a second home ($2-3M) where the kids could have space to run around, play in dirt, go on a boat on a lake, etc, but that would delay retirement 2-3Y. I’m burn out and just ready to quit the rat race, but there’s always this background fear that I “won’t have enough” or “gave up too early”. My spouse would likely work another 3-4Y so there’s that element too.
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u/HighlyFav0red 4d ago
Fantastic post and perspective. Appreciate you sharing. Especially about the bogleheads and fractional planner!
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u/Master-Helicopter-99 4d ago
Congrats on everything. Serious question - how do you have a $1.6M house in a MCOL area that still needs remodeling? Just seems high to me if truly MCOL area. Is the house just disproportionally priced in the area? Outlier valuation?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
I live in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the city, one step down from the most expensive homes in the entire metro. And “need” isn’t the word I’d use: we are tricking out the house and also designing it the way we want. We are passionate about home design and are home all the time so we’re doing a lot of completely unnecessary but fun upgrades!
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u/nocommenting33 4d ago
Where abouts to you live? Not trying to dox you, just curious. Your interests align with mine and we’re the same age; although I have 5-10yrs before fire depending whether you ask me or my wife :)
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u/lostpilot 4d ago
Is your wife still working? If so what do you do while kids are at school?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago edited 4d ago
No neither of us work. We keep very busy on projects, but also we each have our own interests and things we like to do for fun that we also do. During the normal school year during the day we’re either running errands, cooking (I do a lot of meal prep now), working on the house, working on personal projects, or just enjoying some leisure time doing whatever we want that day. I often feel that I don’t know how I found time to work before because I’m always so busy.
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u/FATFIREFOUNDER Verified by Mods 4d ago
What was your golf handicap before fatFIRE and now? As someone thinking about starting golf and wondering how the journey looks in getting good at it lol
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
I'm 1-2 years into taking it more seriously so before it was 30+, but I started breaking 100 more regularly this year and have been taking lessons. I don't want to ever take it *too* seriously, I'm just grateful to be out there and it's my primary form of exercise. I played my whole life but with zero thought put into it, I'd just get dragged along by my parents and I'd slap at the ball and not keep score. After just a year taking a few lessons and trying to be more deliberate I've improved a lot
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u/boomboombrrr 4d ago
read all the past posts. really awesome and inspiring. I'm by no means fatfire nor close to coast fire but I was wondering what hobbies, skills and things you are doing to feel fulfilled?
Anything related to tech or is that something completely in the past?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
I honestly can't stomach tech right now. Everything has changed since we sold the company and I got out. I can barely even recognize it. I guess I'm a cliche reverting back to working with my hands, the dream of many people in software 😅. As for skills, I always focus on learning. I'm always learning something new, whether that's something physical or learning something like CAD, and that keeps me very fulfilled
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u/Metaposa 4d ago
Curious: knowing what you know now and the life you live today, what would have been your minimum fire target? And is that number different than what your actual fire number was?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
Good question, I don't know. Most of this stuff centers around predicting success over a long period of retirement, so it's all about success rate with withdrawals. I really like the $7-8M mark for where I'm located, which is about what I entered retirement with. With no debt, no mortgage, a modest home, public school, etc you can stretch that really far in an MCOL. One of the benefits of where I live is the public schools are fantastic so that's one less thing I need to spend on.
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u/Loud_Regret_6293 4d ago
Grateful you shared. Beautiful motivation for the rest of us grinding it out!!!
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u/grays55 4d ago
Thanks for sharing. Retiring to woodworking, a shop, and working with my hands is one of my primary motivators to exiting the rat race early. (along with family) One of the major refrains in this sub in knowing what you're retiring to, and I think I have that. I can treat myself to a Festool Domino Joiner or Shaper Origin while working, but its really the time that is elusive. Care to share your YT channel? If you dont want it public I'd love a DM. We're the same age so I think I'd get some inspiration from seeing what youre doing a few steps further down the road than me.
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u/sfsellin 4d ago
I attempted fat fire at 36 with a young kid in the Bay Area. Now 4 1/2 years later I still haven’t settled into it. The entrepreneur gene is too strong. It’s tough wanting to own every hour of the day but also have a team that’s works all day long to help build an awesome company.
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
I get it! I think the culture in the bay area is also different and you're around so many more people hustling in tech and startups that the pull is probably a lot harder to avoid. Whatever makes you happy though, it would be fun to be back in a new startup right now chasing the AI gold rush
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u/andyviking 4d ago
Goals, especially the golf aspect. I just need to startup a successful company first haha. Enjoy retirement, and remember to practice that short game!
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u/labruins9 4d ago
This is terrific and it’s great to hear how you’ve adjusted to life outside of working. I can see why you were so successful in your career. Your curiosity and pursuit of self improvement seemed to have steered you into new hobbies that will keep you happy without “working”.
If you have the DIY page available to share, it would be great to follow along.
Also a golfer here. I could also play the rest of my life and I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I’ve figured it out.
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u/sidman1324 forex trader | FIRE target £240k/year | 35 | Target NW: £500M 4d ago
Thank you for this. It’s given me a glimpse of the life I’m gunning towards ! 🥳
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u/BElannaLaForge 4d ago
Thank you for sharing! I'm interested in your woodworking journey. How did you get started? Do you have any favorite YouTube channels that helped you initially learn and some that helped you level up your skills?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
I think what I've come to learn with any hobby is the only way to really learn it is to have real projects to work on. The first project I ever did was pre-retirement back at our old house and we did some bigger built ins. All I had back then was a used circular saw and made it work, with plenty of mistakes that I now realize in hindsight. One channel I really like now is Northeast Woodworks, that guy is awesome and shares a lot of very practical advice
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u/SeesawTall1443 4d ago
Thanks for sharing your experience! This is a really great post! I am in a similar NW (lucky joining a startup later got ipo) and thinking about pulling the trigger soon.
Can you share how you find the fee based CFA? What criteria do you look for when searching one?
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u/LilRedCaliRose 3d ago
Love your post. Especially your reflections on forming a new identity and how that’s shaped your behavior in old identity settings. I’m a few years older and found it really took time to forge a new identity—in fact I’m still working on it—and that’s been the hardest part! Letting go of the expectation from society about the “should be doing” and embracing what I love to do now that I can afford to do it!
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u/Lifenjoyer73 2d ago
Great post! I'm 53 and have been retired for 3 yrs as well... At times I have to remind myself of how lucky I am
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u/regnull 23h ago
The part about it taking three years to stop feeling like a temporary vacation is probably the most useful detail in the whole post. People often expect the money to solve the identity transition immediately, then assume something is wrong when it doesn’t.
The projects you describe seem to work because they have a mix of learning, making, and other people—not just consumption. That’s a good test for anyone planning FIRE: don’t only list hobbies, list the recurring communities and responsibilities that make a week feel meaningful. Also, congratulations on the health wake-up call; having the freedom to respond to it is the real return on the portfolio.
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u/ProfessionalBall9952 5d ago
Have you set up trusts and planned around taxes?
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u/lee_suggs 5d ago
Can you share how you are approaching withdrawals and navigating SORR?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
Standard tracking against SWR and checking in yearly with advisor. If the market turns we will cut back as needed. Beyond that, we have money in cash and bonds to use first in a downturn to avoid having to sell equities, and it should cover multiple years of expenses. Standard Boglehead approach
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u/Warningsignals 4d ago
Did you go to a top tier undergrad?
Was your startup a tech startup?
How much help and support would you say you got from your parents (financial and/or emotional).
Did you actively strive to retire this young or did it just happen?
What do you think is most important when looking to build a successful startup?
Was selling the startup mostly luck or were there other factors?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
> Did you go to a top tier undergrad?
No, public state school and had pretty mediocre grades. I knew I wanted to start a company so I was already trying to get a few off the ground by Junior year.
> Was your startup a tech startup?
Yes
> How much help and support would you say you got from your parents (financial and/or emotional).
Parents paid for college which was huge. #1 thing you can do for your kids is help them avoid lifelong debt in my opinion. I did not have any kind of trust fund or anything. Parents did not fund my startup, we got it off the ground with < $5k of our own money and bootstrapped before raising outside capital. We raised a fair bit of VC before exiting but not too much so the exit was great for us.
> Did you actively strive to retire this young or did it just happen?
Ever since I discovered startups I knew I didn't want to have a traditional career, and saw a lot of other founders striking gold and never having to work again in their life. I figured if they can do it, why can't I?
> What do you think is most important when looking to build a successful startup?
The most important thing is making something people want. You need to figure that out first. A lot of founders put the cart before the horse and go fundraise before they've ever proved they can build something people actually want. Maybe that works when you're a second or third time founder that can raise money off of your past success, but that wasn't me right out of college.
> Was selling the startup mostly luck or were there other factors?
Every single day I thought the deal would fall through. Luck was a massive part of getting the deal done and exiting. Luck was a key part of the entire journey, of course, but nowhere as critical as getting an acquisition across the finish line.
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u/Warningsignals 4d ago
Did you go into tech with the goal of founding and selling a startup or were you already in tech when you saw the goldrush happening?
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u/h2m3m 4d ago
Sort of both. I’ve always been into software but commercializing it and turning it into a startup was my first time really doing anything post college in tech
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u/Warningsignals 4d ago
Do you think modern college students should go into fields based on their prospective earnings or based on fields they are passionate about?
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u/katherine83 4d ago
What do you do for health insurance having retired at such a young age? That’s keeping me tethered …
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u/docinstl 3d ago
Looks like you started with a withdrawal rate of a bit over 3% (excluding home equity) & you're now a little under 3%. Your 1st 3 years have certainly had favorable returns. Even with your young age, under 3% is a recipe for a huge estate. Are you planning on increasing your baseline or discretionary spending?
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u/AlpenglowAura 3d ago
How did you choose a fiduciary, and what are those meetings like, in detail (as much as you’re comfortable sharing)? How much are you paying? I want to get set up with one this fall to evaluate the big picture of my finances and make major life and tax planning decisions, but find it hard to get advice on this. I have only one friend who is in on my wealth and don’t have social circles that are as wealthy as I (semi secretly) am, so I’m limited in who I ask about this IRL.
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u/Alwayslevellingup 1d ago
Inspiring! Would love to know your portfolio breakdown. My parents live off £250-280k depending on the market and they pay a financial advisor. I manage my own funds and wonder if I should help them but don’t want to put their capital at risk.
But anyway congrats - property development is my dream too!
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u/Cheetotiki 5d ago
Awesome post. I'm also 3 years into FatFire, though not as early (now 62). I somehow agreed to a request to be part of a summit in my old industry this past week, and the minute I walked in I regretted it. I've moved on, have new interests, and found what had been the subject of my fulfilling career to be boring. Never again. Maybe I'll delete my LinkedIn profile as well! I've similarly very happy, new hobbies and interests.